


My Salvation- Draco Malfoy Y/N Edition

by onlyangelzH



Series: My Salvation [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:47:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 94,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28704642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyangelzH/pseuds/onlyangelzH
Summary: Twists came as (y/n) was sorted into Slytherin and her brother in Gryffindor. That didn't stop (y/n), it made her accept the challenge of proving that not every Slytherin turns out to be evil. With the Potter twins back, Voldemort has been trying to surface once again.5 years later, everyone has come back to Hogwarts, but a few things have changed. Cedric has passed. (y/n) and Harry are seen as liars for saying Cedric was killed by the Dark Lord. (y/n) has changed since witnessing Cedric's death. She's driven by anger, pain, and vengeance.Before Cedric's death, Draco and (y/n) were an off-on item. Being the two best in Slytherin's house. They never were official. But afterwards? Something happened between the two. A drift. No one knows why it happened or how but ever since, both have changed.Sure Draco was a bad boy to begin with but with (y/n), he was different. He saw light in the tunnel. But now that flame has gone out. What will happen between (y/n) and Draco now? Will the flame rekindle? Did they actually mean anything to each other?Are they going to be each other's salvation?DISCLAIMERmost of the storyline and characters belong to JK Rowling and the Harry Potter Series!
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Original Female Character(s), Draco Malfoy/Reader, Voldemort (Harry Potter) - Relationship
Series: My Salvation [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2104164
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter One

_"(y/n), Cedric, we have to get back to the cup. Now!" Harry exclaims._

_"Harry what are you talking about?" Cedric asks._

_I walk over to my brother and place a hand on his shoulders. "Harry, are you alright?" He looks at me with worried eyes, "Something doesn't feel right." I laugh. "Oh please, this is a competition. C'mon we have to win this."_

_I turn to walk away but Cedric grabs me by the arm. "(Y/n), we have to be careful. You heard what Dumbledore said. You saw what happened back there." I shake my head at the two._

_"Would you two stop. Nothing bad is going to hap-"_

_Harry screams and groans in pain, holding his head. "Harry!" I yell making my way towards him but stop as I feel a pain in my chest where my scar is._

_When Voldemort killed our parents, he managed to leave a scar on both Harry and I. Harry had a lightning bolt like one on his forehead while I have one under my collarbone near my heart. It was the same mark as Harry just in a different place. Why? I don't know._

_I fall to the ground, my hand on my chest as I look up to see the flames under the Cauldron light up._

_Voldemort is near._

_That's the only reason my chest would be hurting this badly. We've known he was coming and it was only a matter of time._

_I try to focus on anything else but the agonizing pain and all I hear is my brother shouting "Get back to the cup!" I shake my head. "I can't. Harry it hurts!"_

_I feel arms wrap around me and try to get me on my feet. "Breathe (y/n)," Cedric whispers. I manage to look up to see wormtail and a head in the palm of his hand. Voldemort."Cedric," I manage to say. "Let me go and run."_

_He looks me in the eyes and then back to where the two were standing, walking closer to the three of us. He sets me down gently and points his want at the two._ **_No!_ ** _I want to scream but can't._

_"Who are you and what do you want?!" He yells. My blood runs cold at the next words that come out of the head's mouth. "Kill the spare."_

_"Cedric!" I yell at the same time as Harry yells "No!"_

_Just as we scream, Wormtail points his wand at Cedric and says, "Avada Kedavra."_ **_The killing curse._ ** _I start to cry. "Cedric, no!"_

_A light of green and yellow flashes before my eyes and Cedric is pulled off the ground and pushed a few feet before landing on his back. I ran to him. I take his head and pull it to my lap. "No. No. No. No," I say repeatedly, my hands afraid to touch him. "Hey, hey, it's okay," Cedric comforts me. "No, Cedric stayed with me. Keep your eyes open, please."_

_"Promise me two things (y/n). One is you'll take my body back to my father."_

_I shake my head, tears flowing. "No, you'll come back with us alive. Then you'll run to your father. Cedric, please-"_

_"(y/n). Please" He cuts me off. I look into his eyes. He knows he's not going to make it and my words were just lies. I nod, "Fine and the second?" He takes a sharp inhale, "The second is that you will learn that you deserved to be loved... I know you think you're not capable of it. And that life won't let you. But you deserve it out of everyone I've ever met. Stop pushing people away. I know you think that it protects us but it doesn't. It hurts me to see you in pain. I need you to let go. Live. Live your life how you want it. Not how you are told to. I need you to be (y/n)."_

_"But people do get hurt, look at you. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be here."_

_He shakes his head,"Knowing you was the best experience I've ever had. Your (y/n) Potter for god sake. You survived the Dark Lord and now you'll save us. Even if I'm not here to witness it. I love you."_

_I put my forehead on his. "I love you too, Hufflepuff." His hand comes up to my neck to pull my head down a little and I feel his lips on my forehead._

_Suddenly, I feel his body going limp. I look at him and start saying the same thing over and over again. "Cedric wakes up. Cedric please. Open your eyes," I sob. "Cedric!"_

"(y/n)! (y/n) darling wake up."

I breathe in sharply and sit up quickly. _It was just a dream. But was it? No, it was a memory in the form of a nightmare._

I look up to see Harry shaking my shoulders with concerned eyes. I sit up quickly and wrap my arms around him and he wraps his arms around my waist. I "Are you alright, little sister?" he asks. 

I nod and pull away from him. "Yes, sorry I had a nightmare. I decided to take a small nap being in the kitchen all evening but I probably shouldn't have." He looks at me with understanding eyes. "Dreams about Cedric again?"

I shake my head. "Not dreams Harry, nightmares. I dream about the last few moments. He's back, Harry. What are we going to do?" He takes his hand and pushes a strand of hair behind my ear. "Listen to me, he will not hurt you. I'll make sure of it, you're all the family I have left. He won't take you too (y/n). Do you understand me?" I nod.

"Very well, c'mon then, want to sleep in my bed?" Harry stands and walks to his side of the room. I laugh, "It's too small for the two of us." I stand anyway. Harry takes the ends of my bed and moves it next to his, combing the two. "There," he says. 

I lay on mine as he lays on his side. "There's something I should probably tell you," he says, a hint of nervousness shows through. I turn to lay on my side to look at him. "What is it?" I ask. He turns to lay on his side. "Don't get mad."

"Harry James Potter, if you don't stop stalling, I will beat it out of you," I laugh and he does too. "Okay okay. I, uhh, performed a spell because a dementor was attacking Dudley and it got me kicked out...well expelled from Hogwarts." 

I shoot up from the bed, body weight resting on my arms. "Harry, you what?" He sits up the same. "It wasn't like I was just going to let him die." 

"Yes because that would be horrific," I mutter. "(y/n)," he warns. "He's our family."

I shake my head, "They have treated us like garbage the day we showed up here. To hell with them. And you can't be expelled. You were protecting someone. I'll talk to Dumbledore when we _both_ go back to Hogwarts."

With that, he lays back down as do I. I face the ceiling. "Go to sleep, we'll figure it out in the morning," Harry says and with that I shut my eyes. 

***

"Very clean, Muggles."

"Tonks, for God's sake"

"Unnatural"

I open my eyes slowly and reach for my glasses.Harry grabs his wand to point and shine a light.

"Professor Moody?" I hear him say. 

I look up to see figures at the door. "Professor Moody." I clarify. I stand up and rub my arms. 

"What are you doing here?" Harry asks.

"Rescuing the both of you of course," he states. 

"Rescuing us?" I am confused. He shakes his head, "I'll explain soon Darling. C'mon now you two. Don't have all day."

I grab my coat from the bedpost and walk behind Harry. Harry is the first to speak when we walk out the door, "But where are we going? The letter said I've been expelled from Hogwarts." I shake my head, "Harry I told you we would fix this."

Professor Moody says, "Ahh yes darling, we will. Harry you haven't been expelled yet. Kingsley, you take point." I look to my left to Kingsley. 

"But the letter said-"

"Dumbledore persuaded the minister to suspend the expulsion pending a formal hearing" Kingsley interrupts Harry.

"I told you Harry, what you did wasn't your fault," I exclaim. "You don't know that yet (y/n), don't get your hopes up."

"Don't worry. We'll explain everything when we get back to headquarters," Tonks says. "Not here, Nymphadora," Professor Moody says back using the name she doesn't like being called.

I look at Harry with a worried expression. He has to come back to Hogwarts. I don't know what I would do without him there with me. We've been inseparable all our lives. Two halves. I've always heard of siblings bickering and yes, Harry and I bickered, but it never lasted long. Maybe it was just because we were all each other had. Well, until we met Hermione and the Weasleys. 

I was excited for my 5th year at Hogwarts, to go home. I hated when we had to leave. I missed my house. I still remember the look on Harry's face when I was sorted as a Slytherin. At the age of 11, Harry went up to the sorting hat and kept muttering about how he didn't want to be a Slytherin. For me, I didn't mind. I didn't think I would be sorted into Slytherin. I thought I would be a part of the Gryffindor house when I saw Harry was one. We were always the same. 

Well up until that moment. I didn't know how to react. My whole life has been with Harry but in that moment we were separating. I was excited and scared. A part of me was relieved we weren't the same. I wouldn't have liked being known as the "Gryffindor Potter twins."

I often wonder how my Parents would have reacted. They were both a part of Gryffindor. And now their daughter was a Slytherin. They say Slytherin's were evil, rude, selfish, and other horrible things as well. I don't believe so. Just because the Dark Lord belonged to the house, doesn't define the rest of us. 

Harry assures me our parents wouldn't have cared that much. That they would have loved me regardless of whatever house I ended up in. I believe that to be true. I just wish I could hear them say it because there's a part of me that believes they would have been disappointed in me. 

I see an object come my way and I react grabbing on to it seeing it's a broom. 

"Stay in formation, everyone. Don't break ranks if one of us is killed," Professor Moody says and we're off. 

I shoot up to the sky, my brother following me. He always was slow. We stood in the sky seeing the layout of the city below us. Lights flickering in the night sky. We bank downwards and sore above the water. I look down at my reflection, water glistening. We fly under the bridge and I savor the feeling of the wind in my hair. 

Harry looks at me and smiles as I do the same. "Hey, Harry," I say. "What?" 

I laugh, "Look out." Harry looks in front of him as a bank right to fly on the other side of the boat. Harry shows up to my left once again. "Very funny little sister."

"Well, you need to be more careful big brother." Tonks laughs to my right. "C'mon you two," she says and we bank upright." 

We fly for a bit longer until Professor Moody states we are landing on the grass a few feet below us. I still don't know where exactly we are going but I listen and start to land on the ground. 

We get off our brooms and Professor Moody leads the way opening up the gate. I take in my surroundings. It's a building structure, town houses. Doors spread across signifying each separate house. "Come on," Professor Moody urges us forward. Harry looks back at me and holds out his hand to take. I grab it with my right and lean into him, following the others. 

Professor Moody taps on the ground 3 times slowly and the ground starts to rumble. I gasp and hold Harry's arm with my left hand, looking at the building. The sound of wind chimes and the building separating in two fills my ears. Harry looks down at me and I look up at him, amazed at what's happening in front of our eyes. 

The people in the houses look unfazed like they don't know an earthquake is happening around them. Professor Moody interrupts my thoughts, "In you go, you two. Don't worry it's all right." 

I look at Harry and begin to follow him into the small alleyway left behind. It's dark and there are pictures on the wall. I hear whispering coming from a door, something about Harry but I'm too focused on my surroundings. Just as I was staring at the ceiling, the rest of the group bypassed Harry and I, pushing us to the wall. 

Harry and I walk towards the open door to see Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Mr.Weasley. Mrs.Weasley comes outside and begins to shut the door. "(y/n), Harry!" she exclaims. "Thank heavens you two are all right."

I let go of Harry and run into her arms. I wrap my arms around her waist as she wraps hers around my shoulders. "Oh Mrs.Weasley, I've missed you," I say. She laughs slightly, "I missed you as well darling." I let go of her and she walked past me to hug Harry. 

She pulls away from Harry and places a hand on each of our cheeks, "You both seem a bit peaky. But I'm afraid dinner will wait until after the meeting finished." Harry tries to say something but Mrs.Weasley continues, "Nope. No time to explain. Straight upstairs, first door on the left. Both of you." 

I follow Harry upstairs and we see an elf looking creature. He eyes us as we continue, Harry grabbing a hold of my hand. Before Harry opens the door, I tug on his hand. "What's wrong?" he asks. I take in a deep breath, "Are you sure about this place?" 

He shakes his head, "(y/n), we're safe here. We trust everyone downstairs." I nod in understanding. He smiles and squeezes my hand before turning the doorknob with his other. 

The moment we open the door, I see Hermione running towards us, engulfing Harry in a hug. "Oh Harry!" she exclaims in relief. He lets go of my hand to hug her. She lets go of Harry and hugs me in a tight hold. "(Y/N)! Are you two alright? We overheard them talking about the Dementor attack? You two must start explaining" 

Ron shakes his head slightly, "Let them breathe, Hermione."

I laugh and wrap my arms around Rons neck. "I missed you both so much." He wraps his arms around me, "As did we (y/n). Are you alright?" 

I let go and nod. Just as I was about to speak, Hermione speaks, "And this hearing at the Ministry. It's just outrageous. I've looked it up. They simply can't expel you.It's completely unfair."

Harry walks into the room, "There's a lot of that going around at the moment."

"I told Harry we would solve this. They can't expel him," I state. Hermione looks confused. "Wait a minute, weren't you attacked as well?" I shake my head. 

"No, I was at home taking a nap. I didn't know Harry was expelled until he told me before we fell asleep. I told him he was stupid for casting a spell even if it did save that weasel, Dudley."

Ron laughs, "Should've left him for the Dementor." "Aha! That's what I said!" I exclaim. Ron and I high five. "Two great minds think alike." Harry shoots us a glare. 

"What?" I yell, throwing my hands up. "You and I both would've been much better off without that pig. Tell me otherwise Potter." 

Harry shakes his head, "Anyways. What is this place?" I look around the room. "It's headquarters," said Ron. "Of the Order of the Phoenix," finishes Hermione. "It's a secret society. Dumbledore formed it back when they fought You-Know-Who."

"Wait, why weren't we told about this all summer?" I ask. "We've been waiting to hear from any of you."

Harry shakes his head angrily, "They couldn't have put any of this in a letter, I suppose? (y/n) and I have gone all summer without a scrap of news. Was it that hard to write?"

" We wanted to write, mate. Really, we did," says Ron before looking at Hermione "Only..."

"Only what Ron? There's no excuse for us out of all people to be left in the dark," I say now growing a little more irritated. 

" (y/n), Dumbledore made us swear not to tell you anything. To tell either of you. We wanted to, really," Hermione says walking towards me. She places a hand on my shoulder as Harry asks for clarification, "Dumbledore said that?" 

I shake my head in disbelief and push Hermione's hand away, making my way towards Harry. "But why would he keep us in the dark? We could've helped. We're the ones who saw Voldemort return... the one who fought him, who saw Cedric Diggory die." 

I sit on the bed next to Harry. "Murdered." I am correct. "We didn't see Cedric die, we saw him killed. Murdered." Harry looks at me with apologetic eyes and puts his hand on my head brushing my hair back. "I'm sorry," he whispers. I nod saying it's okay. 

"Harry," I jumped at the sight of the twins, George speaking first. "Thought we heard your dulcet tones," Fred continues. "Don't bottle it up, though, mate. Let it out," George speaks again. 

"Oh, (y/n), didn't see ya there. How are ya?" Fred asks me as I was sitting to his right. "I'm doing alright Fred. How about you?" 

"Fred? I'm George, that's Fred," he says pointing to his twin. I stare at the two in shock. It's been 5 years and I still mix the two up. They start laughing at me, "We're just messing with ya darling. You got it right, I'm doing alright. Thanks for asking."

"Anyways, If you are all done shouting..." Fred starts. "Do you wanna hear something a little more interesting?" George finishes. 

The boys walk out the door as I stay sitting on my bed looking at the floor. I probably should get up and follow them but I don't really want to at the moment. All I can think about was what was so secret about the Order that I couldn't have gotten word about it over summer. I went a whole summer with no word from our friends. I received one letter from Isabella, my best friend in Slytherin but she was busy traveling to send me any more. 

It was a letter hoping I was well and explaining to me how she couldn't write to me much because her parents were taking her to France to visit family. She promised to bring me back gifts from her trip. I was excited to see her. She was the really one I could trust in my house after Draco and I had a falling out. 

_Draco._

I wonder what he's done.

_Nope. Stop it. He doesn't deserve your friendship._

I exhale a breath I didn't know I was holding. 

"Are you alright (y/n)?" I look up slightly to see Hermione now sitting on the bed next to me. "Yes, sorry. Got a bit lost in my head there." 

Hermione has always been kind to me. We've never gotten into arguments. Nor have we ever disagreed. She's the one I would come to for anything. Sure I had Bella but Bella was one of those close friends that you talk to about personal things going on with other friends. Hermione was the one I could come to, to talk about anything personal. Even if it involves the Dark Lord. 

Especially since Hermione usually does keep quiet about things I tell her. Bella sometimes lets things slip out because she has no filter. If I tell her a boy hurt me in any way, she wouldn't think twice before confronting him and then make sure I'm alright. Even if I asked her not to, it didn't matter. He hurt me, he pays. 

Hermione on the other hand would make sure I'm alright first. Then, proceed to go confront the boy but if I asked her not to, she would stay by my side. Complete opposites but in a way so similar. 

"Can I ask what you're thinking about?" Hermione asks. "I'm just thinking about going back to Hogwarts. I'm nervous about Hermione. This is the first time I'll be going back after Cedric. What if people think I had something to do with it."

She shakes her head. "Nonsense, they all saw your reaction when you and Harry brought him back. And we told them it was you-know-who-"

"They don't believe us," I cut her off. She laughs silently, "Then we'll make them believe. Together."

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything important but mum has called us down for dinner, " Ron says, popping his head in. Hermione and I stand and head downstairs. 

I see Fred and George scare their mum by popping up behind her using magic. "Oh!" she yells.. "Just because you're allowed to use magic now, Does not mean you have to whip your wands out for everything!

She turns to Harry and I. "Are you hungry darlings?" Before we have a chance to answer Mr.Weasley says,"You sure you're alright, Harry? Gave us quite a turn."

I look behind them to see Sirius. "Sirius," I say happily and run past the Weasleys to jump in his arms. "Oh (y/n), I've missed you." We let go and he puts his hands on either side of my face, "My, you've grown. You look more like Lilly every day." Remus chuckles, "I say she looks more like James." 

Sirius hugs Harry and we make our way to the table. I sit in next to Harry. The men talk about his hearing. 

"What has the Ministry of Magic got against Harry?" I chime in. They look at me with a strange look. Like they were hiding something. "Show them. They'll find out soon enough," Professor Moody says leaning against his cane standing. 

Kingsley passes us a newspaper with a photo of both of us on the cover which reads, "The children who lie?" Tears start to form in my eyes as Sirius says, "He's been attacking Dumbledore as well. Fudge is using all his power, including his influence at the Daily Prophet... to smear anyone who claims the Dark Lord has returned."

I inhale deeply, "Why? Cedric was killed by the Dark Lord. How else did they think he died?! Why on earth would we make this up?" 

"Darling, He thinks Dumbledore's after his job," Remus says. I scoff. "He thinks we would lie about something this dangerous because a stupid position. Why would anyone believe this?" 

"No one in their right mind would," Harry answers, setting the paper down. "Exactly the point," Remus points at us. "Fudge isn't in his right mind.It's been twisted and warped by fear. Now, fear makes people do terrible things. The last time Voldemort gained power, he almost destroyed everything we hold most dear. Now he's returned, and I'm afraid the minister will do almost anything, to avoid facing that terrifying truth."

"We think Voldemort wants to build up his army again, " Sirius begins to say. "Fourteen years ago, he had huge numbers at his command. And not just witches and wizards, but all manner of dark creatures. He's been recruiting heavily, and we've been attempting to do the same. But gathering followers isn't the only thing he's interested in."

Professor Moody clears his throat as it looks to be a warning but Sirius keeps talking. "We believe Voldemort may be after something." "Sirius," Professor warns. 

"Something he didn't have last time," Sirius says. "You mean like a weapon?" Harry asks. 

A clang hits the table and I turn my head to see Mrs.Weasley set her utensils down. "No. That's enough. They are just children. You say more and you might as well induct the both of them into the Order straightaway."

"Good. I want to join. If Voldemort's raising an army, then I want to fight," Harry declares. "I do as well," I call out. "Now, enough of that. We must all eat and head up to bed," Mrs.Weasley takes the newspaper from Harry's hand. 

At dinner, there was little talking and chit chat. I was quiet. I wanted to know what the _Something_ Voldemort was after. Could it be a weapon of some sort? We never were told that he was after a weapon of any kind. I needed to find out what it was. I wanted to get rid of Voldemort once and for all. If there was any kind of spell or weapon that existed to do it, I would find it and get my revenge. For my parents. For Cedric. For Harry. For myself. For the life I could've lived surrounded by happiness and laughter. Not this one filled with chaos and heartache. 

Harry has always been told he was the Chosen One destined to get rid of Voldemort. They figured that it could only be one person and we were twins but he was older by 7 minutes. So, Harry received the title. I never quite understood it. If Harry was the chosen one, why didn't Voldemort kill me before he killed Harry? We slept in separate cribs and I was only a baby. I didn't know he was even in the room. Why did my scar never heal properly? It hurt the same as Harry's did if the Dark Lord was close. 

Some at Hogwarts joked that I was the evil twin. Cliché really. Two twins, one destined for greatness, the other for destruction. One of the claims to back this up was I was put in the Slytherin house. When I first heard of the rumors that some people thought of this, I remember locking myself in my room. Only place I would go was to classes. I would go days without eating. Harry tried to comfort me and urge me to come eat with him, saying it was all nonsense but I wouldn't get up. 

I felt like I was suffocating. Why couldn't I just be me? Why did being put in a specific house or have the Potter surname matter? The only person that was able to get through to me was Draco. I remember the first time I ever saw kindness from the Slytherin Prince.

_I'm sitting at the floor of my bed, knees against my chest when I hear a knock on the door. "Harry, go away!" I yell, knowing it was probably my Gryffindor Brother. More knocks. I choose to ignore it and put my head in between my knees._

_Knock_

_Knock_

_Knock_

_"Harry," I say standing up and marching to the door. "I said go away," opening the door and meeting a pair of blue eyes. I scoff. "Draco, what do_ **_you_ ** _want?"_

_"May I come in?" he asks. I look at him with a puzzled look. It's my 4th year at Hogwarts and I've never seen Draco this polite in my time here. I nod, opening the door to let him in. He walks past me and looks around my room. I shut the door and lean against it, arms folded across my chest._

_"What's this?" Draco asks, holding up my black journal. I run towards him and take it out of his hands, "None of your business. Draco, if you are here to bother me, please just leave."_

_He chuckles. "I'm here to get you to come out of this pathetic state you're in." I shake my head, "Oh the great Draco Malfoy cares?" He laughs harder this time, "Not precisely darling, but you're making the Slytherin house look bad. Therefore I look bad and I can't have that. We can't have that. Can we?"_

_"Unbelievable," I muttered while walking to set the journal on my nightstand. "I should've known you only care about your image." He picks up another random object from my desk, examining it. "(y/n), you should've known I wouldn't really care about your feelings in a lovely sort of way. You're a Potter. As much as I hate it, you were sorted into my house. And since you are a Potter, eyes are on us. And right now? You are making us look horrible. Clean up your act darling."_

_"Haven't you heard what they've been saying. I have a right to be upset," I scream hands fisting by my side._

_Now it was Draco's turn to scoff, "Yes, yes, you might be the evil twin. But so what? They're just people gossiping. Rumors, it's all. Are you really upset by meaningless words?"_

_"They're not meaningless to me, Draco. Since I have been sorted into this house, I've been treated differently. I'm no longer just a Potter twin. But a Slytherin Potter Twin. Everyone believes I will turn on Harry and go to the Dark side. No one has faith in me-"_

_"Oh quit your whining. Look at me poor miss (y/n) Potter afraid I might turn to the dark side. Please, you sound stupid. And staying in here makes you look weak. This is the girl who survived the Dark Lord? Makes no sense. You think you survived just to hide when a couple of pricks start saying things they know nothing about?"_

_I sit on the edge of my bed and Draco sits next to me. "Why are you here Draco? You hate us Potters. Wouldn't this make you happy?" I feel his hand come under my chin forcing me to look at him. "No matter who you are, you represent Slytherin. And I'll be damned if rumors hurt one of us," he says silently._

_He stands, "Now come on." He reaches his hand out. I grab it and he pulls me up, opening the door. "Where are we going?" I ask. He smirks at me, "It's supper. And you are going to show everyone that you are not affected by what they say."_

After that day, Draco and I secretly talked in the comforts of the Slytherin house common room. But outside the room, we didn't know each other and would give snarky comments. At first it was just talking until it slowly became something more. We started making out, using each other to relieve stress. No one knew of it. Not even Bella, Hermione, Ron, and especially not Harry. It was strictly no feelings, just lust. 

I lost my innocence to Draco and he lost his to me, although everyone believed he lost it to Pansy. It was better that way. Pansy told me, well a group of girls, in the common room. I felt a little hurt but we were free to see whomever we pleased. Draco and I stopped when he and Pansy were official. 

When that happened, we stopped speaking overall. All that was left was a couple glances that took place here and there. 


	2. Chapter Two

"(y/n), good morning," Mr.Weasley says as I enter the kitchen. "Morning Mr. and Mrs.Weasley. Where's Harry?"

"Right here," he says, walking in behind me fixing his suit. "Are you ready to go?" I nod. 

Harry's hearing is today and we argued yesterday about me going. I told him I was going with him and he yelled at me and told me I wasn't going. Obviously he didn't get what he wanted because I was stubborn.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I felt like we were both on trial. This would be the determining factor on whether or not my brother would stay at Hogwarts with me. 

I follow Harry and Mr.Weasley out the door and we walk towards the underground train station. I take in my surroundings. The sky was a shade of grey. Not a looming, depressing shade. But a lighter one. It's like a shade of hope. That even though the sky may look depressing, there's still some sort of happiness underlining it. 

We get to the station and Mr.Weasley has trouble going through the entrance. Harry looks back at me and we both laugh until we help him out. We finally make our way to a payphone. 

"Here we are. I've never used the visitors' entrance before. Should be fun," Mr.Weasley states opening the door to let Harry and I in. It's tight between the three of us but we make it fit. "Right. Good," he mutters reaching into his pocket. "I'll just get my Muggle money." The pay phone starts going down like an elevator. 

Mr.Weasley opens the door and lets Harry and I out first. "Wow" I started walking next to harry. It's crowded under the tunnel-like entrance. Looking to my left and right, people were appearing under the chimney with a flash of green. Others were selling the daily prophet and I rolled my eyes. _Ignorant._

Harry and I continue walking and I see a middle centerpiece with a centaur statue with a sword. A woman with a long robe that covers half of the podium they stand upon. A little person as well but I can't clearly make who it is out. 

Long stacks of what seem like offices pile on top of each other. on either side of the walkway, a few occupied. As we continue to walk I see a statue of a wizard with his right arm raised, the hand carrying a wand. On the left, some sort of object. 

"Come on darling," Mr.Weasley says, putting his hand on my back to guide me into an elevator after Harry. Black paper shaped as an airplane shoots into the elevator and Mr. Weasley states they are Interdepartmental memos and replaced owls. 

Kingsley whispers something to Mr.Weasley who later leans in to Harry to say something. I look up at the memos wondering what spell was casted or if they were made by special paper. 

"They changed my hearing, it will begin in 5 minutes," Harry whispers. I look at him. "What? Can they do that?" Harry shrugs. 

The elevator starts moving backwards and then jolts to a stop. I jump and grab Harry's arm. He puts his hand on top of mine as it starts to descend downwards. We finally reach our level and walk off the elevator. 

"Department of Mysteries," the elevator voice states in a feminine tone. 

Mr.Weasley walks out first, followed by Harry, and then I follow him. As we walk down, I take in my surroundings. The walls are black bricks and there's at least hundreds of hallways. They both stop and turn, I look in their direction to see Mr.Malfoy and another male.

Mr.Weasley ushers Harry forward while Mr.Malfoy and I make eye contact. "(Y/n)," he says bowing his head. I swallow, "Mr.Malfoy, good to see you again." 

"Come along now," Mr.Weasley states motioning me to come over. I give a quick nod goodbye and begin to walk. 

We stop before the door of the hearing when Mr.Weasley says to Harry, "Remember, during the hearing, speak only when you're spoken to. Keep calm. You've done nothing wrong.As the Muggles say, truth will out. Yes? I'm not allowed in I'm afraid but (y/n), they know you are coming. They may ask you a couple questions."

"What?" Harry sputtered. "What does she have to do with this? She was home, sleeping, when I committed the action." 

"Harry, it's okay. We'll find out soon. Come on, go inside," I say confidently but really, I'm terrified. What questions would they ask? 

Harry looks back at me and takes my hand, using the other to open the door. We step in and my heart drops. Two chairs are set up in the middle of the court. Men and women sitting in the chairs in a U shaped formation in front of us. Some wearing red caps and gowns, others wearing black. One man, I'm sure it's the minister, is sitting where a judge would. Harry looks back at me once more and mouths that we will be okay. He leads us to the chairs and I let go to sit in one of them. Harry soon took his seat next to me. 

The minister begins, "Disciplinary hearing of the 12th of August... into offenses committed by Harry James Potter, resident at Number 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey. Interrogators: Cornelius Oswald Fudge, Minister of Mag..."

"Witness for the defense. Albus Percival Wulfric..." Dumbledore smiles at Harry and I as he interrupts the Minister. "Brian Dumbledore."

"You got our message that the time and place of the hearing had been changed, did you?" The minister wickedly smiles. 

"I must have missed it" Dumbledore rebuttals. "But by a happy mistake, I arrived at the Ministry three hours early." There's a pause. "The charges?"

The Minister puts on his glasses as he states, "The charges against the accused are as follows:

That he did knowingly and in full awareness of the illegality of his actions produce a Patronus Charm in the presence of a Muggle.

Do you deny producing said Patronus?"

"No but," Harry tries to say but the Minister cuts him off again. 

"And you were aware that you were forbidden to use magic outside school while under the age of 17?"

"Yes, I was, but..."

"Witches and wizards of the Wizengamot..."

"Oh for bloody sake, he was only doing magic because he saw a Dementor. Not for fun," I chime in. 

"Dementors?" a woman in a black says curiously. "In Little Whinging?"

"That's quite clever," The minister points at her. "Muggles can't see Dementors, can they, boy? Highly convenient."

I stand from my seat angrily, "Convenient? Convenient! You believe my brother would sit here and make up something that serious all because he wanted to do a Patronus spell? Are you that ignorant?!"

I feel a hand grasp my wrist and tug while my blood boils. "Calm down (y/n), sit." 

"Listen to your older brother and sit down little girl," a man says. "My name is (y/n), not little girl," I somewhat yelled. 

"(y/n), were you with Harry when he produced said spell?" The minister asked. 

"No but-"

"So you did not see the dementors?"

"No but-"

"No butts, since you were not a witness and you can not prove it..."

"Pardon me, minister, but as it happens, we can," now it was Dumbledore's time to interrupt the minister. He motions us to stand and sit in one of the benches as Ms.Figgs walks in to sit in Harry's seat. 

"Please describe the attack," the same woman from earlier spoke. "What did they look like?"

"Well, one of them was very large and the other rather skinny," starts Ms.Figgs.

"Not the boys. The Dementors," The minister annoyedly states.

I snicker quietly and Harry elbows me but smiles.

"Oh, right, right. Well, big. Cloaked. Then everything went cold as though all the happiness had gone from the world."

"Now, look here. Dementors don't just wander into a Muggle suburb and happen across a wizard. The odds are astronomical," the minister laughs. 

I roll my eyes. The minister is really getting on my nerves. I wonder what would happen if I turned him into a toad. 

"I don't think anyone would believe," Dumbledore answers. "the Dementors were there by coincidence, minister."

"I'm sure I must have misunderstood you, professor," a woman with a high pitched voice answers. _What squeaky voice toy box got lodged in her throat? "_ Dementors are, after all, under the control of the Ministry of Magic. And it's so silly of me, but it sounded for a moment as though you were suggesting that the Ministry had ordered the attack on this boy."

I wouldn't put it out as an option, I wanted to say but bit my tongue. I couldn't speak much. This was a trial and Harry's future was in question. I was here for moral support. 

"That would be disturbing indeed, Madam Undersecretary... which is why I'm sure the Ministry will be mounting a full-scale inquiry into why the two Dementors were so very far from Azkaban and why they mounted an attack without authorization," Dumbledore suggests in a forceful manner. 

Dumbledore begins to walk towards the minister, "Of course, there is someone who might be behind the attack. Cornelius, I implore you to see reason. The evidence that the Dark Lord has returned is incontrovertible." 

"He is not back," The minister spits back. 

I go to say something but Harry grabs my arm once again. "Sit down," he threatens. "Harry, they won't believe he's back. He's getting on my nerves," I huff. 

"I know but we must be smart about this. Please, sit down for me." I groan and sit back down. Harry moves his hand to my back, comforting me. 

_Shouldn't be the other way around?_

_"_ In the matter of Harry Potter, " Dumbledore talks once again. "the law clearly states that magic may be used before Muggles in life-threatening situations.

"Laws can be changed if necessary, Dumbledore," the annoying minister states. 

"And why is that?" I yell. Standing up, I march towards the minister, ignoring Harry's warning. "Yes Harry committed the crime of using magic in the outside world but he did it in a life-threatening situation so save a Muggle's life. Why does the law have to be changed if that has always been the law? Is it because he is a Potter? Because in some way we threaten the Ministry of Magic so any reason to get rid of us, you'll take it."

"I encourage you to choose your next few words very carefully, Ms.Potter," the squeaky toy speaks.

"And I encourage you, all of you, to think about this trial. A simple underage spell was used to save a life and my brother is being treated like the worst criminal in the world. I still haven't gotten an answer as to why the law has changed, so Mr.Minister, please enlighten me on what caused this change you speak of?" 

The minister and I stare each other down. His face turns to a shade of red and I can practically see the fume coming out of his head. 

"Exactly, there is no reason," I yell. "So please, I beg of you, to take in why he used the spell and really think is it worth this trial? Is he really the criminal you are trying to make him out to be?"

There were a few moments of silence before the woman in the black robe called out, "Those in favor of conviction?" Unsurprisingly The minister, squeaky doll, and a couple raise their hands. The woman speaks again, "Those in favor of clearing the accused of all charges?" Most of the court raises their hand as does she. 

"Cleared of all charges," The Minister states with a bang of his gravel. 

I smile and laugh, turning around running to Harry and jumping in his arms. He wraps his arms around my waist as I wrap mine around his neck, and lifts me off the ground. He lets me down and walks past me, "Professor." Professor continues walking, ignoring Harry. I rub my hand up and down his arm. 

"He'll come around Harry," I comfort. "Come on, we have to get going. Let's go home." 

***

"You did what?!" Ginny exclaims as I walk next to her on our way to the train. "I may or may not have gone off on the Minister..."

"(y/n)!" she slaps my shoulder. "I know, I know. But if you were there you would have too."

Fred and George laugh. "You know, I wish I was there now ehh Fred?" George nods, "Why do we never get to see this side of you?" I laugh and turn to walk backwards. "Make me mad and maybe you'll see."

"(y/n), come with me," Professor Moody comes to my side. I look at the three Weasley's confused. "Beats us," George shrugs. "Well get going, would you?" Fred finished. 

I laugh and follow Moody. We reach a door and I see Sirius sitting with Harry, Harry holding a paper of some sort. 

"What's going on?" I ask. "Come here darling," Sirius beckons me. I walk over and gasp, taking the photo from Harry's hand. "Is that mum and dad?" I sit. "They look so young and happy."

"There's still a day that doesn't go by. I don't miss your dad," Sirius says sadly. "Do you really think there's going to be a war, Sirius?" Harry asks. 

"It feels like it did before," he answers. I try to hand the photo back but he shakes his head. "You keep it. Anyway, I suppose you're the young ones now. Make your mum and dad proud. Now get going, both of you." 

We all stand and I wrap my arms around Sirirus's waist. "Thank you," I mumble into his chest. He hugs me back and hums in response. I let go and Harry says his goodbyes. 

Ever since we found out Sirius was our Godfather, I finally felt like I had some sort of father figure. But being from Azkaban prison, he has to lay low. Every time we say goodbye, I feel like I'm losing a father again. 

"Come on," Harry says quietly and takes my hand as we walk out. I wipe my tears from my face as he leads me to the train that will take us to Hogwarts. _Home._ I'm excited but nervous to be back. 

We reach the train and there are parents saying their goodbyes to their children. The sight makes me upset but happy. Even if I can't have it, I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. Even my worst enemies. Not having a father or a mother to give you love was the worst. 

Sure I had Harry but his love for me is different than a parent's to a child. It was more of a protective love. I wanted parental love. I wanted a mother to brush my hair while singing softly to me. I wanted a father to teach me sports in the dirt and hold me on his shoulders. I wanted family traditions. 

Harry and I have only ever learned love from each other. Half the time, I didn't have to tell him what I was thinking, he just knew. But after finding out this part of our life exists, we've been distant. It's like being put in two separate houses meant we didn't know each other as well as we thought we did. We thought we were the exact same. But then again we came to Hogwarts at the age of 11. We were only children. 

We still could read each other and know what the other is thinking or feeling but we also knew how to keep secrets from each other. I never told him about Draco. I probably never will. It doesn't matter now. The damage is done. But I'm sure if he ever found out, he would've fought Draco until one of the two landed in the infirmary. 

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when Harry comes to an abrupt stop. He looks forward and his face is like he was seeing a ghost. "Harry," I tug on his hand. No response. Just a tightened grip. "Harry," I say again. He snaps out of whatever trance he was in. 

"Are you alright?" I ask. He nods, "Yes, sorry. Come on." He leads me into the train and we find an empty cabin. Harry sitting on one bench while I sit on the other. I looked out the window staring at the bond between the mothers and fathers and didn't notice Hermione and Ron coming into the cabin. Ron sitting next to Harry and Hermione sitting next to me, her head slumps on my shoulder. 

I lean my head on hers as I watch the window watching as the train begins to move. The night sky soon takes over. Mountains and grass being taken over my darkness. The sound of the train hitting the tracks humming in my ear. 

I always wonder about the darkness. Everyone claims that darkness is evil but is it really? Why is light always associated with good? 

I believe it's the opposite. The light could blind you, showing you something it wants you to. You don't question it because it's overpowering. You'll burn if you stare into the source. In the end staying out in the light too long could hurt you. 

The darkness however doesn't blind you. It's vulnerable. You can see everything. Every glisten. Every shadow. The light of the moon shining highlighting the traits it wants you to see. It doesn't hide the shadows. No, it lets you see them. It lets you know they exist but the glistening is what it wants you to pay attention to. But no one ever does. 

They always pay too much attention to the demons and the dark to see the true light within. I think people are just scared of the truth. The darkness shows every insecurity and every flaw along with the greatness. People don't like it when someone points out their flaws. 

It's like if you have flaws, you're a horrible person. When it's the exact opposite. Having flaws makes you, well you. It makes you human. It makes you real. What's being real without having a few demons. 

Sometimes embracing the demons is what will make you stronger but I have yet to understand what that truly means. 

As I, myself, am afraid of embracing my demons. 

What if I'm afraid of who I'll become when I do?

But I believe the most purest of souls exist within the darkness, they are just too afraid to show it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Hello everyone. I hope you liked this chapter. Please remember to vote and comment. I know Draco hasn't shown up yet but I promise either the next chapter or the following he will. 
> 
> I really don't want to make their relationship go very fast as I feel like it's not realistic with Draco and also it intensifies the relationship overall so please bear with me. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you stick around. At this rate, next chapter will be up very soon since I'm putting this in front of my uni assignments. oops?
> 
> xxx


	3. Chapter Three

_***slight** _ **_mention of an eating disorder ahead. kinda.*_ **

We finally arrive and Harry hands me my bag. Hermione links her arms in mine as we walk off the train. There was no talking, only silence and it's been like this all trip apart from the casual conversations here and there. 

Well that was we heard a voice coming from the one and only Slytherin Prince behind us. 

"I'm surprised the Ministry's still letting you walk around free. Better enjoy it while you can. I expect there's a cell in Azkaban with your name on it. Maybe when you're gone, (y/n) will actually be out of harm's way."

Harry charges at Draco but Ron is quick and holds him back. 

"What'd I tell you? Complete nutter," Draco says to Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, his two cronies that follow him around everywhere most of the time. 

"Just stay away from me!" Harry yells. 

"It's only Malfoy," Ron says letting Harry go. "What'd you expect?"

Harry starts walking away from the group. I unlink my arms and walk up to him. "Are you alright?" I ask. "What?" Harry looks at me. "Oh, yes. Sorry about that. I don't know what came over me." 

I shake my head, "Don't apologize Harry. Hey Draco's an ass. You know I'm not in harm's way with you around, right?" He sighs and takes a deep breath, "Yes, yes. Come on let's get going."

Ron and Hermione catch up to us and we make our way to the carriage. 

"Hi, guys," Neville says, showing up next to us. We all say our hellos. 

I hear a snort behind me like it came from a horse and turned around. Harry does the same. "What is it?" Harry asks. 

It's a demented looking thing. It looks like a horse but no fur. It's skeletal like and has some features that represent a reptile. It's black and has wings. Leather wings. They look like _Bat wings?_

"What's what?" Hermione questions. "You don't see it?" I ask. "Wait you can see it too?" Harry questions. I nod. 

"See what?" Ron says looking straight at the creature. 

"Ron, you're looking right at it. It's pulling the carriage," I laugh. 

"Nothing's pulling the carriage, (y/n)." Hermione then adds, "It's pulling itself, like always."

Harry walks around to the side while I examine the creature. "You're not going mad," a girl with platinum blonde hair states as I follow Harry. "I can see them too. You're just as sane as I am." 

We all settle into the carriage, I sit next to Ron. "Everyone, this is Loony Love..." Hermione starts but stops herself. "Luna Lovegood." Awkward tension fills the air. "What an interesting necklace."

"It's a charm, actually," Luna corrects. "Keeps away the Nargles." 

I nod awkwardly and the carriage starts moving and I look out to the dark sky one more time. The trip isn't long to Hogwarts only a short distance. We follow the road to the main entrance into Hogwarts and already I see students walking to their respective houses. Harry helps me down from the carriage and I say goodbye to the trio, making my way to the Slytherin house to see if Bella has arrived yet. 

As I walk down the corridor, I see students talking among their friends and overhearing them talk about an amazing summer they had. My face drops wishing I had stories to tell of my own. 

The smell of Hogwarts is comforting. It smells like books, potions, magic, and overall like home. After being locked in that awful house for the entire summer, I welcome the smell of Hogwarts. Even if it does leave an awful stench since some potions don't smell the best. 

I finally reach the marble staircase that is located on the right side of the entrance halls of the castle. Making my way down to descend to the dungeons of Slytherin. Upon reaching the entrance to the common room, I called out the password I saw on the noticeboard before I came in front of the doors. 

We change it every year or whenever someone outside the Slytherin house finds it out. Harry used to find it out in order to get me starting our 3rd year going into our 4th when the rumors started to check up on me. My peers would get irritated each time and I swore I never told him the passwords. They eventually started to believe me when they would hear us arguing about me wanting privacy and he couldn't come whenever he pleased. 

I, however, knew the password to the Gryffindor's being a "Potter". Apparently the house trusted me enough that I wouldn't share it and I haven't. So, every year one of the three tells me the password whenever it changes. 

The doors open and I walk inside. The common room looks like a dungeon. It is occupied with green lamps and chairs. It's located under a lake, giving a green tint of light shining through it. Leather sofas are located inside with a wooden table in the center of the room. Tapestries hung with famous medieval Slytherins hanging on the walls. 

"(Y/N)!" I hear someone yell. I turn to see Bella running up to me and wrapping her arms around my neck. I laugh and hug her back. "Bella!"

She pulls back, "You've lost weight. And not in a healthy way. You are so eating like a pig at dinner if I have got anything to do with it. Oh. I need to tell you all about France. You're still single right? I met a hot cousin. I mean not for me of course, buttt I think you and him would look great together. I also brought you back loads of gifts and-"

"Bella," I interrupt her ramble. "Breathe, we will get to catch up later. First, I have to get dressed for dinner."

She nods, "Oh right. Sorry, got too excited." "Don't be," I begin to open my bag. "Come with me to the girls room to change please."

She links her arms with mine, "Of course. Hurry up, I'm starving." I guide our way out of the common room to the girls dorms, the one where Bella and I have stayed in for a couple of years. Her stuff was already unpacked. 

I take out my uniform from the chest that was brought here. Before I could wear them Bella chimes in, "Oh no no. You are not wearing those." I shake my head chuckling, "Bella these are the only ones I have."

She goes to one of her bags and pulls out a garment bag. "Here, from my parents. No ifs or buts mum said. She bought it for me but it was too big and she decided instead of returning it, I should give it to you." 

"Bella, I- I don't know what to say. Thank you but-"

"I said no buts. Do you wanna tell Mama Argent to return it?" She places her hands on both her hips. I shake my head, "No, I suppose not."

She giggles and hands me the bag. I open it and lay it on my bed. Taking off my pink jumper, I grab the white button up and put it on. Next grabbing the black skirt and stepping into it, pulling it up my body. Grabbing the black jumper, I throw it on top of my head. I then fix my tie and put on the knee-high socks. I slip on the black boots and button my robe. 

"Oh wait, wait. I almost forgot. I got us matching headbands," She says excitedly. "Mum found them at a Slytherin uniform store." She places it on my head fixing my hair. 

"You're ridiculous," I laugh. Grabbing my want and placing it in my right boot. "No what's ridiculous is you putting your wand in your boot," she points where my want is. 

"Easy access," is all I say. 

We make our way to The Great Hall for the welcoming feast. "(y/n), Bella, over here," Blaise Zabini yells. Bella rolls her eyes. "Are you still sleeping with him?" I ask. Bella looks at me with wide eyes, "No. The nerve you have of asking me that."

I look at her with wide eyes, "You are! Oh. Now this is amazing." She hits me while I laugh and we sit with Blaise and the gang. "Hey baby," Blaise winks at Bella. "Shut up," she retorts. I snort and try to hold in a laugh and get elbowed by Bella. 

"Hey, (y/n), how was your summer?" another Slytherin, Oliver, asks from next to me. "It was okay, how was yours?" I lie. He talks about his summer and I tune out looking around the room. I spot Harry, Hermione, and Ron sitting at the Gryffindor table, Harry waving a small hello which I smile back too.

The Great Hall was large, with walls reaching up to the ceiling and four long tables placed inside. One representing every house. One extra table stood horizontally at the front where the Hogwarts professors and other important people sat. In the center, a chair that looks like a throne sat for Dumbledore. Candles floated around the ceiling. The ceiling itself, made to look like the sky outside. 

Harry was across the room as the table order went from Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and then Slytherin on the far right. 

"Hey (y/n)," a Ravenclaw said with a wave, taking me out of my trance. "Hey Molly," I wave back. "Meet me later? I have something for you, I brought you a book from my grandfather's bookshop." I nod, "You didn't have to but thank you. I'll meet you after dinner." 

"Dinner is served," I hear a voice call out. And just then food appears on the table. I stare at the food; chicken, steamed broccoli, beans, potato, and so much more. I don't eat much, having lived with my aunt and uncle who never fed Harry and I as much as their own son. 

I place a chicken leg on my plate with some steamed broccoli and carrots. "That's not all your eating," gasps Bella. I laugh,"I'm not that hungry Bell."

She grabs my plate and places some mashed potato and gravy and sets my plate down, "There. I'll be okay if you eat this whole thing. I don't want a slither of gravy on your plate." I laugh at her motherly response and dig in. 

From the corner of my eyes, I see Draco peeking at me, ignoring Pansy talking to him. I make eye contact with him and look down, placing another carrot in my mouth. We haven't talked since our fight and I don't plan on it any time soon. I should've listened to the rumors about him and stayed away. 

The moment dinner is finished, plates disappear and dessert appears on the table. A fresh clean plate appears in front of me. Different types of cakes appear throughout the table with some fruit bowls. Eclairs, pies, whatever dessert you can think of, it's here. 

I was already full from dinner and didn't feel like eating any dessert but Bella shot me a look that said if you don't place anything in you, I'll force it down your throat. Isabella's always been taking care of me during the times we eat. I had a habit of not eating. After my first two years of Hogwarts, I gained weight from all the food. Nevertheless, I was a twig before I came here. 

My first year here for the first couple of months, I ate because I never really had this luxury of food growing up and it made me really happy. But then, having people ask me about being Potter, it all got too much. My anxiety worsened, I started having panic attacks during lessons, and I would spend nights awake, crying. I put all my emotions in food. And for the next year and a half, I ate my feelings. 

Aunt Petunia made fun of me each summer for those two years. Dudley saying no boy would ever like a fat girl like me. So I starved myself the summer before the third year. Harry having to force me to eat and sitting at the table watching me as I placed the food in my mouth and making sure I didn't gag it later that evening. 

When I came back to Hogwarts that third year, I barely ate. Except when I felt light headed. One day during quidditch practice, I lost consciousness and I lied when they asked if I had been eating and hydrating. Bella saw right through me. When the nurse left, she called me out. Ever since that day, Bella has made sure I put food in my body and enough as it is. 

I'm not thin. I'm not like most girls here. I'm average. Like Harry, I'm brunette, brown eyes, and wear glasses. I have big breasts, an average sized waist, with wide hips. A sort of hourglass figure if you will. 

"Good evening, children," my head shoots up to see Dumbledore standing at the owl podium. "Now, we have two changes in staffing this year. We're pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank who'll be taking Care of Magical Creatures while Professor Hagrid is on temporary leave. We also wish to welcome our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Professor Dolores Umbridge."

I look to wear he's pointing seeing the abnormally high voiced lady from the court dressed in all pink. She looks like a doll. I snicker a laugh seeing the pink doll sitting next to Snape dressed in all black with a dead look on his face while she had a creepy smile that would scare children. 

"And I'm sure you'll all join me in wishing the professor good luck. Now, as usual, our caretaker, Mr.Filch, has asked me to remind you..."

A high squeak comes from the table and Dumbledore stops his speech turning around to see Professor Umbridge place a small pink handbag on the table and begin to stand, walking around the table. Her heels click as she walks to Dumbledore.

"Thank you, headmaster, for those kind words of welcome. And how lovely to see all your bright happy faces smiling up at me. I'm sure we're all going to be very good friends."

 _"_ That's likely," I hear George and Fred say and try to. hold back a laugh. She glares at them. 

"The Ministry of Magic has always considered... the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance," she starts pacing back and forth in front of the tables. "Although each headmaster... has brought something new to this historic school," a nod at Dumbledore. 

"Progress for the sake of progress must be discouraged.Let us preserve what must be preserved, perfect what can be perfected, and prune practices that ought to be prohibited." She squeaks out a laugh and smiles, making eye contact with me. 

Dumbledore begins to clap following the students as she walks away. "Thank you, Professor Umbridge. That really was most illuminating. Magic is forbidden in the corridors..." 

I look behind me and make eye contact with Harry. He looks back at me with a look that tells me I need to watch my every move. The ministry did this on purpose. I know they did. 

"Now before you all go, I must announce the prefects of this year. We will start with Gryffindor and work our way to Slytherin. For those of you who are new to Hogwarts, Prefects are students who will act as a leader of the corresponding house. A male and female are selected, their jobs will inquire them to be in job with events of the house, assisting first years, answer any questions you may have, and are a role model as well. Keep in mind that Prefects are students chosen when you are in your 5th year and above."

I look at Pansy who seems giddy probably hoping she is chosen as a Prefect, I never saw myself as being one. I mean, people watch you. You're supposed to be a role model. I could never handle the pressure. 

"If your name is called, please come to the front to collect your Prefect Badge. From Gryffindor, Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger."

There's applause and cheering, I cheer as well, ignoring some of the looks from the group. 

"From Hufflepuff, Hannah Abbott and Ernie MacMillan."

More Applause and cheering. 

"From the Ravenclaw House, Padma Patil and Anthony Goldstein."

The Ravenclaw table starts cheering their names and banging on the table.

"And lastly from the Slytherin House, Draco Malfoy and (y/n) Potter."

My head shoots to the front of the room with an astonished look. Bella grabbed me by the arm and shook me and I don't even believe my name was being called. I slowly stand up and make my way towards the front, the crowd shouting "Potter! Potter! Potter!"

I turn to look at Harry and he's clapping, smiling at me. I met Draco at the end of the table and he leaned his arm out for me to take it. I'm hesitant but we were in front of everyone and they were all looking. I slowly wrap my hand around his bicep and we walk up to Dumbledore. Draco gets his badge and I am the last one to get it. 

"Dumbledore, why?" I ask quietly as he pins my badge. He looks at me in the eyes and grabs a hold of my hands, "You deserve it. Stop doubting yourself, child." I nod slightly and make my way to stand with the Prefects. Females standing in one line, the males standing with each other on the other side. Hermione hugs me, "Oh this is so exciting." 

"I don't know about that, Hermione. I'm not cut out to be a Prefect." She smacks my arm pulling away, "Oh would you stop that. Who else would become a Prefect? Pansy?" We both laugh as we make our way down. 

Harry, Fred, and George come to the head of the table and congratulate me. I hug Harry last. "I'm proud of you little sister," he whispers. "Thank you, I hope I don't let anyone down,"I say as I pull away. He fixes my badge, "You're perfect for this role, you won't. Now go on, first years need you."

I wave goodbye to them and walk towards my table where Slytherins congratulate me. Bella squeals and hugs me. "OH I knew it! Thank god it was you!" I laugh, "Bella, you wanted this." She looks at me with a _Are you Joking_ look, "Please, I'm too much of a troublemaker to be picked. It was between you and Pansy, I was rooting for you."

"(y/n)! I'll show the way to the sleeping headquarters for the 1st year, you take charge of the back," Draco yells, already walking. 

Dinner is finished and I walk alongside Bella. First years in front of us. 

After showing the first years where they will be sleeping and grabbing my bag, seeing that I now have the privacy of having my own room, we make our way back to the common room along with everyone else. She talks about her cousin that she wants to hook me up with and I let her ramble. Laughing at her at some points. 

The moment the common room door opens, all eyes are on us. 

Pansy stands up with a smirk, her arms across her chest. In one of her hands, I see a newspaper. "The children who lie?" she repeats the words on the cover. "Oh please Pansy," Bella starts. "You really believe that rubbish?"

Pansy laughs walking towards us, "Well we weren't with Cedric when he died. The Potter twins were and they came back. He didn't. So tell us (y/n), what exactly happened?"

I stare her down. "I told you what happened. I told everyone. The Dark Lord killed him. I saw it with my own two eyes. I held him as the life went out of his body."

"And how do we know you're telling the truth, you're a liar. You probably were the one who killed him and that's why you held him. To make sure he was truly dead. Probably found out you and Harry were lying about he who shall not be named and you didn't want him telling the truth."

Tears start forming into my eyes. "What truth?! Do you really think that low of me?"

"You know, the truth about the evil twin. Maybe he saw the evil in you. Maybe you are working with the Dark Lord trying to bring down Hogwarts. It would all make sense after all. Maybe that's why your brother was the Chosen One and you are nothing but a mistake. Oh, let's not forget now you're a Prefect, coincidental? Much? You now have much more benefits than if you were a normal Slytherin. Did you threaten Dumbledore for the title?"

Pansy's words cut through me like a knife and I step back slightly as if I've been shot. I look around to see people looking at me. "Would you shut it Pansy!" Isabella yells. "You're just mad that you didn't get chosen. Do not bring rumors that are not true into this. If you or anyone else has anything horrid to say about (y/n), come talk to me first."

She grabs my hand and pulls me out of the common room and to my own. I grab my wand and whisper, "Alohomora." The lock opens and we step inside. I set my bag down next to the desk and sit on my bed. "What if she's right Bells?" I whisper.

I feel Bella sit on the bed. "Right about what?" I shrug. "I don't know. What if I am somehow an evil twin. Harry is the Chosen one so what does that make me?" 

"(Y/N), that's a load of rubbish. No one ever confirmed that Harry was the sole Chosen One. What if you were the Chosen One? Or the both of you shared the title? Besides if you were evil, why are you always the one putting yourself in danger?" 

"I let Cedric die," I say looking at her, tears forming in my eyes. "If I just had gotten up and I don't know, fought back, he would still be here. If I was just stronger-"

"Stop. It was not your fault. Stop blaming yourself for his death. Now, it's getting late, go to bed. I'll see you in the morning for the first days of classes." She hugs me goodbye and walks out the door. 

I let out a sigh and fell back on my bed, too tired to get up and change. Just as I'm starting to drift off, someone knocks. I flick my wand, opening the door without looking who it is. 

"I see you've made yourself comfortable," I hear Draco say. I lean up to see him, his mesmerizing white hair messy and blue eyes staring into my brown ones. His hands are tucked into his trouser pockets. 

"Draco, why are you here?" I ask confusedly. "Just wanted to see how you were doing. Looks like you were crying earlier in the common room."

I sit up pulling my knees up to my chest, "I'm fine. You can leave now."

He walks forward and pulls the seat out from under my desk, sitting down he straddles the chair. The back of it towards me, his legs on either side, his arms folded across the top, and his head on top eyeing me. 

"Is there something else I can help you with?"

He lets out a breath, "I just wanted to let you know that Pansy and I are an item now. I would appreciate it if you keep the little thing we had last year quiet."

I laugh, "So, that's why you came here? Well don't worry. I want it kept quiet as well. Can't have my brother finding out. It was a mistake anyways."

He looks at me taken aback of what I said but the look soon disappears, "Yes, a big mistake indeed. Well, I'll see you in class tomorrow." He stands from the chair and walks out of my room. Leaving me alone with my thoughts. 

I stand walking to the door and lock it. Grabbing my bag, I set it on the trunk in front of the bed. 

The room's walls are a dark green. Upon walking into it, there's a bed in the very center, with silver sheets and a dark green comforter, a nightstand on the left. In front, a green trunk with the Slytherin symbol upon it. To the left of the bed is a desk about average size. To the right is the closet door. In the right corner of the wall with the door, is a loveseat couch facing the bed and a lamp next to it. 

I open my bag and begin taking out the few clothes in it. Grabbing my old uniform and a hanger, I place it in the closet. I hang a couple jumpers as well. I take off the uniform Isabella gave me and hang it up. Taking the headband, I place it on the shelf on top of the hangers and place my shoes there as well. I put on a sleeveless tight top and some shorts to sleep in. 

I place my wand on my nightstand and lay in bed looking at the ceiling. It's weird, sleeping in a room alone. I think this is the first time I have. I shared a room with Harry and here in the dormitories, falling asleep while Bella and I gossip. Now it's silent. 

I close my eyes and wait till the darkness takes over my body. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I have nothing to say but hope you liked it!
> 
> Don't forget to comment and kudos please, thank you for reading. 
> 
> xxx


	4. Chapter 4

It's been about a week since I've been back at Hogwarts. Classes have been okay. I share most with the trio including Charms, Transfiguration, Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and about 3 more classes. I made my way to my first class with Isabella by my side. Our first class being Defense Against the Dark Arts with the always chipper Professor Umbridge. 

Isabella and I sit in our seats, the table behind my brother and Ron. Ron turns around, "Good day (y/n), Isabella." 

"Good day Ron, excited for yet another day with Professor Umbridge," Isabella says sarcastically with a giggle. "If I have to listen to her voice one more time, my head will explode," I say and throw my head on my arms folded across the desk. 

"She's not that bad," Harry says with his voice pitching a little higher than intended. I raise my head to look at him with one eyebrow raised, Isabella and Ron looking at him the same. He stares back for a couple seconds before we burst out in laughter. 

"She's terrible," Ron says laughing before ducking down when a paper plane flew past his head. 

I watch the plane before it bursts into flames and we hear an obnoxious voice say, "Good morning children."

Walking up the aisle to the front, she points her want at the chalkboard saying, "Ordinary Wizarding Level examinations. O-W-Ls. More commonly known as OWLs. Study hard and you will be rewarded.Fail to do so, and the consequences may be severe."

"She gives me the creeps," Bella whispers to me as Professor waves her wand and books start coming our way. 

"Your previous instruction in this subject has been disturbingly uneven. But you'll be pleased to know, from now on you will be following a carefully structured, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic. Yes?"

I stare at the cover, **_Dark Arts Defense: Basics for Beginners._**

"There's nothing in here about using defensive spells?" Hermione asks

"Using spells?" Umbridge laughs, "Well, I can't imagine why you would need to use spells in my classroom."

"We're not gonna use magic?" Ron pipes out.

"You'll be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way."

"What use is that? If we're attacked, it won't be risk-free," Harry brings up a valid point.

"Students will raise their hands when they speak in my class," Professor said loudly. "It is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will be sufficient to get you through your examinations which, after all, is what school is all about."

"And how's theory supposed to prepare us for what's out there?" _Oh no Harry, not here._

"There is nothing out there, dear.Who do you imagine wants to attack children like yourself?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe Lord Voldemort," with Harry saying that, I kick the back of his chair. 

Silence fills the air. "Now, let me make this quite plain," she says walking towards Harry. "You have been told... that a certain dark wizard is at large once again. This. is. a. lie."

"It's not a lie. I saw him. I fought him. My sister and I fought him," He argues back. 

"Detention Mr.Potter," she shouts. 

"Detention?!" I exclaim. "For what? Cedric Diggory died at the hands of Voldemort. I held him in my arms!"

"Cedric Diggory's death was a tragic accident," she rebuttals.

"It was murder. Voldemort killed him," Harry starts. "Are you calling my brother and I liars? We were there. The killing curse was said and Voldemort was the-"

"Enough!" She screeches. "Enough. Ms.Potter, you also earned yourself Detention. See me later, Mr. and Ms. Potter. My office."

"My sister did nothing wrong," Harry says. "If you're going to punish anyone, punish me." 

"Mr.Potter I suggest you keep quiet before I give you both two days worth of detention," she stares him down.

I lean forward to put my hand on his shoulder, "Harry, Let it go." He turns to look at me and sighs, nodding turning back to the front of the room. 

When class ends, I stand up and Isabella does as well. We say our goodbyes as she has her next class without me and Hermione and I walk to our next lesson. 

Hours pass and soon, it’s break. I walk to the outside court and find Isabella sitting among some Slytherin females and some Ravenclaw as well. 

"Getting yourself in trouble already aren't you, Potter," I hear a voice say. I roll my eyes. "What's it to you Draco?" I ask, turning around, hugging my book to my chest. "You know the sooner you tell the truth, the sooner you'll stop being called a liar."

"The truth?" 

"About the Hufflepuff. Come on(y/n), you don't expect us to actually believe that he-who-shall-not-be-named killed him? There's been no evidence that he is back yet. Better tell the truth love," he smirks. 

"Draco, don't you have anything better to do?" asks Molly. "Go away."

I stare him down with a cold stare. _Use your wand. Show him you're not weak._ I hear a voice say. It sounded like a snake hissing. I look around to see no one is behind me. 

"So what was it? Did he not want to date you? Is that what made you angry? You know I heard him bragging about taking you to the Yule Ball to all the boys. Did you let him into your pants (y/n)?" he steps forward.

I didn't know what came over me but my wand was soon in my hand and I pointed it at Draco, flicking him back into the tree. He hit it with a thump and groaned. I stepped forward, anger boiling up inside of me. My wand pointed to him.

"(Y/N)!" I heard someone yell and grab me. I didn't respond but continue to try to walk forward with my wand pointed at Draco. 

" **_Cru-_ **_,"_ I began to say until I heard a female voice yell "Expelliarmus!" 

I feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist and drag me away from Draco into the hallway while I'm thrashing in their arms. Whoever it was that was holding me pushed me against the wall and held my shoulders. "(Y/N)! Breathe," it yelled. 

I didn't realize I was hyperventilating until they said it. I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. 

"Listen to my voice," the female says. "Concentrate on my voice. Breathe in, Breathe out." I did as I was told several times and finally opened my eyes to see it was Ron who was holding me against my shoulders. Harry standing next to him holding my wand. Female being Hermione. 

"Are you alright?" Harry asks. I nod. Ron lets go,"What happened back there?" 

I shake my head, "I don't know. Draco was saying a bunch of rubbish and at first it hurt but then I just got angry. I saw red and before I realized what was going on, here we are."

"So you don't remember what you began to say? Before I spelled the wand out of your hand?" Hermione clarifies. I nod. "(y/n), you almost said The Cruciatus Curse."

I look at Harry for clarification and he nods, "It didn't even sound like it was coming out of you. It was more like a hiss." 

"I don't. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't remember saying anything." 

"Come on, let's go get you something to drink," Hermione places her hand on my back and guides me to the kitchen where Prefects are allowed to use at any given time. 

I'm lost in thought, thinking about what just happened. I don't remember saying anything or thinking anything. I just remember being upset but then being angry. And when Draco made the comment about Cedric, I saw red. I should've told Harry about the hissing noise I heard but I don't know why I didn't. I was probably just imagining it. 

It sounded real. It sounded like someone was whispering in my ear. Not someone. _Something._ Like a snake. _Come on (y/n), a snake whispering in your ear? Maybe you are going mad._

**_***_ **

"Ready to go?" I ask Harry as I saw him leaning against the opposing wall of the entrance to the Slytherin house. He nods and we make our way to Professor Umbridge's office.

"You didn't have to stand up for me back in class, I can handle my own fights," he says after a moment of silence. I let another moment go by before answering. "Harry, we stand up for each other, it's what siblings do."

He nods and even more silence passes before he speaks again. "Are you sure you're feeling alright?" I look at him confused, "What do you mean?" 

"You know, earlier when I saw you in the court." 

My body goes rigid, "Oh yes, umm I'm alright. Like I told you, Draco was just getting on my nerves." He opens his mouth to say something but we arrive at her office. 

Harry looks at me before knocking on her door. We hear a "come in" and he opens the door. The office is average size, walls are pink, one having a door leading to the balcony, and plates with enchanted kittens on it. _She really is a doll._

"Good evening, Mr. and Ms. Potter," she motions her head. "Sit."

Harry steps aside letting me in and we both sit at the desks to the left of hers. 

"You'll both be doing some lines for me today but not with your quills. I will be providing some special quills of mine. Now..." She sets a quill on top of a piece of paper in front of us. "I want you to write, 'I must not tell lies.'"

"How many times?" asks Harry.

"Well, let's say for as long as it takes for the message to sink in."

"You haven't given us any ink," I say.

"Oh, you won't need any ink."

Harry looks at me and we begin writing. Immediately, I feel a burning sensation on my wrist. I groan lightly. Harry reaches over and grabs my left wrist turning it to see that "I must not tell lies" has been etched into my skin. His jaw clenches and I see the same has been etched into his left hand.

Professor Umbridge comes around to face up, "Yes?" she asks with a grin on her face. 

"Nothing," Harry says with his jaw still clenched.

"That's right. Because you know, deep down... you both deserve to be punished.Don't you, Mr. Potter?" She stares at Harry and then turns to look at me but looks back at Harry. "Go on."

I glance at Harry from the corner of my eye and continue to write. Wincing every once and a while from the burn that's being etched into my skin with every time I write. Harry looks over at me a couple times and reaches over to rub my arms. Every time in between, I feel a pang of anger upon the hurt. But when Harry reaches over to comfort me, it subsides. I wanted to flick my wand at Professor Umbridge and make her feel the burn. 

_Perform the_ ** _Furnunculus_** _spell,_ the voice comes back. I look up and around the room. Harry looked at me weirdly and Professor shot me a glance when I did. I cough and go back to writing. 

After about 20 minutes, Harry and I are dismissed. I quickly grab my bag off the ground and make my way to the door, wiping the tears from my eyes that have decided to appear out of nowhere. Harry follows me and closes the door. After walking a short distance away, he stops me and grabs my arm. Pulling my sleeve up to take a look at the burn. The words have gone but still red and looks like it was healing from the burn. 

"I'm sorry," he said with a sincere tone. "If I had just kept my mouth shut, you wouldn't have gotten hurt." I grab his hand, "Harry, what about you? We both got punished." 

"I'm alright. Come on, let me walk you back to your house." 

We walked in silence on the way back to the entrance of the Slytherin house. Harry hugs me before making his way back to Gryffindor. I walk into the common room, seeing only a few members are talking in their groups and walk through the door that leads to the dormitories. Instead of turning right towards the girls, I turn left and walk down the hall. All the doors are closed except one where Blaise waves hello and I wave back. I make my way to the door at the end of the hallway and take a deep breath before knocking twice. 

I wait a couple seconds before deciding to turn around and walk back to mine. 

"(Y/N)?" I hear a voice behind me. I turn around to see the door open, Draco leaning against the doorframe, his trousers still on and his vest thrown on like he was in a rush to open the door. "What do you want?" He crosses his arms across his chest. 

I look around the hallway, not wanting to talk in front of everyone but also not wanting to go into his bedroom. I settle on staying outside and say, "I just wanted to apologize for earlier. I don't know what came over me."

He eyes me up and down; I subconsciously pull down the sleeve of my robe hoping he doesn't see my burn scars that are shooting a pain through my body. 

"Is that all?"

I nod, "Yes, that's all. Goodnight Draco." I wave at him goodnight and turn, walking towards the girl's side. 

"Wait!" I hear him exclaim. "Come here."

I exhale and turn walking towards him. Before I can ask him why, he grabs my arm with the burns and pulls my robe up. I look away, not being able to look him in the eyes. I hear him sigh and wrap his hand around mine, pulling me into his room. My feet betray me and follow him. I look around his room as he closes the door. It's the same as mine. 

"Sit on my desk," Draco instructs. "Or the chair. I don't really care."

I walk towards his desk and sit on top of it, setting my bag next to the desk on the floor. My hands are between my thighs as I watch him. Draco walks over to his closet and opens the door, taking out his quidditch bag. No words are spoken. The silence in the room is astonishing. The only thing is tension. Awkward tension. I don't know why Draco is being nice. 

He's been rude to me since I went to the Yule Ball with Cedric last year. Since we stopped our whole pleasure relationship. Since our argument. 

I see him pull out a clear container with a clear substance and first aid wrap. He walks back over and places it next to me, the only words coming out of his mouth being, "Take off your robe."

I unbutton the top and take it off. His hand reaches to the bottom of my button up sleeve, unbuttoning the one button and rolling the sleeve up. He opens the container and places some on his finger, rubbing it on my wound. I hiss slightly and he whispers a "sorry." 

"Why are you being nice to me? When I tried to hurt you earlier?" I whisper. 

A silent second passes before he looks at me. "Just because I only used you for sex (y/n), doesn't mean I want to see you hurt." He picks up the wrap and starts wrapping it around my wrist. "What happened?"

I don't answer, darting my eyes to the door. "Did someone do this to you?" he asks again. No answer. "Would you stop being so bloody difficult and just tell me who did this?" 

"I did. Professor Umbridge made Harry write with special quills and every time we wrote, it burned into our skin. Does that answer satisfy you Draco?" The last part comes out a bit harsher than I intended. 

He drops my arm and walks back to his bag. Placing the container and left over wrap. I step down from the desk -my robe on my arm and bag over my shoulder- and walk towards the door, placing my hand on the handle. "Thank you," I say without looking back. I wait a moment for his response but when it never comes, I open the door and walk down the hall to my own room. 

*******

"(Y/n)! Wake up. I want to go to breakfast," I hear Isabella say. I groan and shift my position on the bed. "If you don't get up, I will drag you by your ankles." 

I shake my head and mutter a no. 

I feel the bed shift and hands being wrapped around my ankle. Then, the pulling begins. 

"Alright, alright, I'm up." She lets go of my ankles and I sit up, rubbing my eyes. Bella sits on my bed while I get dressed, grabbing the white button up from my old uniform because the new one has some dried blood on it from the burn. After taking off my jumper, I stare at my bandage and begin to unwrap it. 

My wound healed and I threw the bandage away. "Why'd you have a bandage on your arm?" Isabella asks. 

I fill her in on what happened with the quill while I dressed but leave out the fact that Draco attended to my wound. I told her a Slytherin saw me in the common room and helped me. 

While we walk to The Great Hall, Bella pesters me on telling Dumbledore or even Professor McGonagall about what happened. She said that if I wouldn't, she would for me but I denied the offer. 

Walking in, I make eye contact with Hermione and she calls us over, Harry sitting by her and Ron attacking a sausage. Bella and I make our way to the Gryffindor table. I'm about to sit down before we hear a voice from outside the hallway. 

"Pardon me, professor, but what exactly are you insinuating?"

Harry and I glance at each other before he, Ron, and Hermione stand making our way outside, Bella by my side.

"I am merely requesting that when it comes to my students you conform to the prescribed disciplinary practices," I see Professor McGonagall say. 

"So silly of me, but it sounds as if you're questioning my authority in my own classroom" Professor Umbridge takes a step on the stairs. "Minerva."

"Not at all," Professor McGonagall follows her step. "Dolores, merely your medieval methods."

"I am sorry, dear.But to question my practices is to question the Ministry and by extension, the minister himself.I am a tolerant woman but the one thing I will not stand for is disloyalty," Umbridge stands her ground. 

I glance at Harry then at Bella, looking back at Umbridge, I see Draco across the hall. We make slight eye contact before he looks away. 

"Disloyalty," McGonagall mocked.

"Things at Hogwarts are far worse than I feared," Now Umbridge was facing us."Cornelius will want to take immediate action."

With that she turns and walks away. "What in bloody hell just happened?" Ron asks as we walk back in the hall. "That," I take a deep breath. "Means things are going to get a lot worse."

Before Harry sits, I grab his arm. "Did you tell Professor McGonagall what happened yesterday?" I whisper under my breath. He shakes his head, "No, I thought you did."

"No, it wasn't me, was it any of you?" I ask the group. They all shake their heads. "I'll be right back," with this I make my way out of the room to Draco and the boys. 

"Why hello there sweetheart," Blaise greets. "Hello Blaise. Draco, can I talk with you?"

Howling and cheering like animals begin among the group. Draco laughs and smirks, ravishing in the new attention although he and Pansy were dating so nothing could happen between us anyways. 

"Be right back gentlemen, don't wait up. This could take a while," he winks as he walks past me into the hallway. I roll my eyes and follow him. We walk into the hallway in silence until we find a place where it's not crowded and he leans against the wall, arms crossed. "Well?"

I look down at my boots and ask, "Were you the one that told Professor McGonagall about what happened yesterday?" He doesn't answer for a second until I look at him but all he does is laugh. "Why would I do that?"

I shrug, "I don't know Draco. No one else knows beside Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Bella found out this morning. All who's left is you."

He chuckles and comes off the wall, stepping forward towards me. He leans down to my ear. "Newsflash sweetheart, I don't care about you that much." He looks me in the eyes. "Listen (y/n), just because I helped you yesterday doesn't mean anything. In fact, it was a mistake entirely. Don't think about it too much," and with that he walks away without looking back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter. 
> 
> Remember to kudos and comment. 
> 
> Love xxx


	5. Chapter 5

It's been about a couple days since the small altercation between Professor Umbridge and Professor McGonagall and all has been quiet. But it wasn't quiet for long. There were rumors going on that Dumbledore would be replaced but no one has confirmed it yet. 

I was in the court with Ron, Hermione, Harry, Bella, and a couple others sitting on a table. The sun was blocked by the clouds, the sky a shade of grey. It's been getting chilly but today was less chilly than others. My robe provided me with the warmth I needed. 

Bella was talking about her trip with her family after Hermione asked her about a museum she visited while we were there. I was smiling, listening to her telling the story. 

Across the courts sitting on the bench were Draco and his goonies. He leant his back against the wall and was starring in my direction. We haven't talked since the day in the hallway except for some chit chat here and there about our responsibilities of being Prefects. 

My responsibilities as a Prefect weren't as much as I thought. There were no problems in the Slytherin houses except for a few arguments scattered. I haven't visited the bath of Prefects that Hannah has talked to me about. Apparently, it was great for relaxing. 

Draco and I had our own Prefect restroom next to the Slytherin Boys and Girls restrooms in the middle of the hallway separating the rooms of the two. It's obviously the closest to my room so I've decided to just use it rather than going to the overall Prefect one. 

I had plans on going tonight and meeting up with Hermione. We were going to sit in the bath, calling a girl's relaxing spa day. We had invited Hannah and Padma but Padma had a paper due and Hannah said if she could, she would meet us there. 

"Hey Potter," we hear a voice yell. I look forward to seeing Draco and his goonies walking towards our table. "Is he talking to you?" Ron looks at me. I shrug.

"Great seeing you in my room last night, we should do it again some time."

Harry stood up and stepped in front of Draco's path. His jaw was clenched and his fists by his side. "What did you just say?" He looks back at me trying to confirm what Draco was insinuating. 

"Well obviously not you Potter, the other Potter sitting behind you. We had fun didn't we?" 

I couldn't breath. Everyone turned to look at me and all I could do was look at Draco, my jaw clenched. There weren't many people in the court thankfully but it was still packed. I stood up from my seat and circled the table to where Draco stood. 

"Ooohoo," Draco mocks, walking back with his hands waving in his face. "Because ladies and gentlemen, she might just throw you into a tree." He looks at me with a smirk on his face as I walk up to him and tilt my head upwards as he is taller than I was. 

"You and I know, nothing happened last night so I suggest you keep quiet Malfoy."

He chuckles lightly and steps closer. "Or what? You'll hurt me?" 

I reach my hands up to act like I was fixing his tie and collar before I say, "You know Draco, you're being a huge dick at the moment. And Last I checked a dick belongs on your body not in your personality. So is the reason why you're so rude all the time just to compensate for having a little one." I brush the invisible lint of his shoulders. 

Oohs and Ahhs are heard throughout the court. Whispers begin. 

Draco looks at me and makes eye contact. I could see his anger shining through. His eyes turn dark, his jaw clenched. His knuckles so white, he might hurt himself. 

"You know, (y/n), I would choose the next few words coming out of your mouth very carefully."

I laugh and take a step back turning to my group. Isabella's eyes are wide and so are Hermione's. Ron was standing next to Harry who was standing a little ways away. I step forward and shake my head, tilting it down. "Or what?" I turn and cock my head. "You'll run to mummy and daddy?" 

Laughter is heard across the yard. 

I definitely made him much more angrier with that statement. He drops his head low and laughs softly. His voice is low and dark whispering, "Well, at least I have a mummy and daddy to run to."

The laughter stops and I stare at him baffled with how low he struck. We stare into each other's eyes for a few moments, my breathing escalating. I step closer and raise my hand to slap him but Harry catches my hand. "It's not worth it, walk away. You're a Prefect now and there are first years watching you." My gaze is still on Draco. 

"(y/n)," Harry enunciated. I turn my head to look at Harry and try to pull back my arm but his hold is tight. I tug again, "I'm alright. Let me go."

Harry's stare holds like he's looking for a sign that I wouldn't attack Draco the first second he lets go, after a moment he sighs and lets go of my arm. 

I step back, looking around myself to see everyone staring my way. Panic crept up through my body. The world began to spin and my breathing escalated quickly. I try to take deep breaths but it doesn't work. "I need to go," I whisper, not knowing to whom I'm speaking.

I walk past Draco, trying to breath in the cold air and feel something in my body. What Draco said wasn't what angered me, it hurt, yes. But the fact that he would stoop so low with bringing up yesterday and then my parents. I guess I walked into it bringing up his. 

My hands shook as I made my way down the hall. I didn't know where I was exactly going but I knew I needed some time alone. I made my way to the end of the hall and out the door that led to woods outside Hogwarts. Looking back, I saw that no one followed me and I was grateful for that.

I needed to be alone. I don't remember the last time I was really alone. Something felt off since I returned to Hogwarts. I don't know if it was because Cedric wasn't here or because the ministry has involved themselves but something felt off. 

I walked down the path to a section in the woods where Cedric and I used to come before he passed. We had stumbled upon it weeks before the Yule Ball. The trees were as large as mountains. The grass was a shade of dark green. The wind soared through the trees and it swayed harshly.

I reached the tree Cedric carved our initials in and sat down, my back leaning against it. Closing my eyes, I remember the happy memory that occurred here. 

_"Cedric, where are we going?" I laugh, my hand being pulled by Cedric leading me into the woods, Hogwarts a way behind us. He laughs louder and turns around -still walking backwards-, hair blowing in the wind. "Don't you trust me?"_

_I smile at him , tilting my head slightly looking up. The sun was shining, blinding my eyes. A ray of sunshine appeared behind him and through the trees. The air was chilly, not too hot and not too cold, but just right for a beautiful morning._

_"Well, yes of course. But why are we here?"_

_He smiles at me turning around and letting my arm drop -still holding it- by my side as he walks by me. "We are here to relax before our tournament. I thought it would be best here with no one around. You've always said you wanted somewhere to be able to read and have quiet. You can't do that at Hogwarts or obviously in bed being with the other girls so we are here so you can have that."_

_I smile at the ground and lean into him grabbing his arm with my opposing hand. We walk in silence for a few until we reach a tree. We sit down, his back against the tree and I'm guided to sit down and place my head in his lap._

_Cedric and I weren't dating but we had feelings for each other, that was for sure. I tried to deny it at first but he didn't give up. The Yule ball is in a week and I've heard rumors that Cedric is going to ask me. A part of me wants that but a part of me was holding out for Draco._

_Since Draco and I called our "relationship" off it's been a little awkward. But I heard that he broke up with Pansy because he wanted to take someone else to the Yule Ball and he lost feelings for Pansy. He hasn't confirmed nor denied the rumor. A couple glances occurred between us during classes but he hasn't made any move to get in contact with me._

_I'm about ready to give up on Draco and give in to my feelings for Cedric. He would be better for me after all. And my brother and him get along._

_Cedric opens his bag he brought with him and pulls out two books. He hands me one with a black cover and I gladly take it. "What book is this?" I ask curiously. The book didn't have a title on any side of it. "Have you ever read 1984?"_

_I shake my head, "No. Is that what this book is?" With a nod of his head, I opened the book._

_After a couple moments of silence, I feel Cedric's finger's run through my hair. I peek up from the top of my book to see him smirking, acting like nothing was happening. He clears his throat after I stare at him for a couple seconds. "What are you staring at?"_

_I suck my bottom lip between my teeth and shrug returning back to my book. I hear a book land on the ground with a thud and look up at Cedric who still has his fingers running through my hair but his eyes are closed, head leaning on the tree. I close my book and set it down next to his, closing my eyes afterwards to listen to the sound of nature._

_You could hear the crisp sound of the wind flowing through the trees. The sound of a couple owls probably belonging to students. I didn't know where mine was. He was probably flying around Hogwarts._

_When Harry and I discovered Hogwarts, Hagrid gifted us with sibling owls. Harry received the female while I received the male. We did it so it would be like one of us was always with the other. Knight was the type of owl who was always soaring above Hogwarts, only coming into my room on occasion. His name fit him. He was always protective of me and would warn me of any danger to come._

_My thoughts are interrupted by Cedric, "So, having fun?" I open my eyes to find him looking at me. I smile at him -sitting up- and answer with a nod. "Thank you for this."_

_I climb into his lap, my legs straddling him, and wrap my arms around his neck. He wraps his arms around my waist. We stay like this for what feels like hours but are only seconds before he says, "Here, let's mark this spot. Give us something to remember later on. It could be our spot." I laugh and he reaches into his bag to grab a sharp object and I climb off his lap. He stands up and offers me his hand. I gladly take it._

_Leaning onto the tree, he begins carving our initials into the tree_

I open my eyes and stare off into the distance, wiping the happy tears from my eyes. I'm grateful to Cedric for giving me this spot. No one knew about it, not even Harry. I made sure not to tell anyone. And I never will. If I do, I lose my one spot of privacy. Whenever I needed a place to think with no one around, I came here. If someone found out, this would probably be the first spot they looked if I ever went missing for a few hours. Eventually if one person found out, others would as well. 

I hear a hoot coming from above and look up to see Knight soaring down. I stand and stretch out my arm, a signal for him to land. He stops right before my arm and flaps his wings, landing down gently on my robe. I bring my arm in and he rubs his feathers near my neck and jaw. "Come on Knight, let's head back before Harry has a heart attack."

I pick my bag up from the ground and hang it on my shoulder. As I'm walking through the woods, I watch Knight fly a little ways in front of me and the wind flow through the trees. 

_**(Y/N)** _

I startle at the sound of my name and look around my surroundings. No one was there. _You're probably just imagining it (y/n)._

_**(Y/N)** _ _  
_

I hear it again. I looked around and still no one was there. 

"Hello?" I call out. 

**_Hello._ **

"Who are you and what do you want?" 

**_You know who I am._ **

The voice becomes clearer and it sounds more like a hiss from a snake than a person. 

"You're just imagining this, no one is around," I mutter to myself. 

_I can assure you I am very real, Ms.Potter_

This time it says it with a snarl. I start to walk faster, Hogwarts coming into my view. 

**_You can't run from me. We. are. one._ **

I ignore the voice and walk through the doors to the hallway to the Slytherin common room. 

"(Y/N), where have you been?" Bella stands and asks but I walk right past her, only wanting to get to my room. 

I reach my door and take my wand from my boot. "Alohomora," I say and then open the door. Knight flies into my room and lands on my desk as I make my way to sit on the loveseat sofa in the corner. I set my bag down and plop on the couch, placing my head in my hands. 

My head feels like it's throbbing in pain. Like someone was banging on a door begging to be let out. With each second passed, the banging gets louder and more painful. "Who are you?" I mutter. 

**_I'm you darling._ **

_No you're not. I don't have a snake in my head._

**_Don't you think it's a little ironic? Having a snake hiss inside your head and being placed in Slytherin?_ **

_What do you want?_

**_I want you to let me in. Let me take control._ **

_Control of what?_

It laughs. **_Well, you of course._**

_I'm not going to let you take control of my body._

**_Oh you will. It's just a matter of time._ **

_What are you talking about?_

Silence.

_WHO ARE YOU?_

More silence. I must just be imagining things. My headache has subsided and I look at the clock near my desk. It's almost supper and around the time I told Hermione I would meet her at the bath. I can't stand her up. 

Standing up, I walk to my closet opening it up and grabbing the only swimsuit I own. It was a halter neck one piece with the bottom being striped black and white. Aunt Petunia never allowed me to wear a two piece because she claimed I was "too ugly" to show off anything. She used to make me wear this solid black one suit that covered everything with a pair of shorts. 

Bella gifted me this one year after seeing the one I had, making sure it was a one piece so Aunt Petunia wouldn't throw it away. I still had to wear shorts and sometimes she would go as far as making me wear one of Harry's shirts but this way it was at least cute for days like this. Bella offered to purchase me a two piece but I was not comfortable with wearing one and settled for a halter neck one instead. She said I was insisting on wearing a one piece I would at least have to show both of my good assets. 

After placing on my swimsuit, I wore my robe on top to cover up while I went to the floor where the bath is located. I open my door and make my way to the fifth floor, looking around to see if anyone that I know was around. Bella wasn't in the common room but Draco was. No one was but him. I'm sure they all left for some sort of reason. Dinner was being served soon. 

"Where are you off too Potter?" He asks. I sigh, facing away from him. "None of your business Malfoy." 

I hear him chuckle and footsteps walking closer until I know he is right behind me. If I were to turn around, my chest would be against his. "I had fun earlier. In the court."

I turn to face him but take a step backwards. "Why did you lie to everyone? You and I both knew nothing happened between us. Nothing has happened for a long time Malfoy."

"I just felt like it," he shrugs. 

I let go of my robe forgetting what was underneath, "You just felt like it?!" My hands were in the air. "Draco, I respected our decision to keep our past quiet. No one knows anything. And here you are making false accusations while you have a **girlfriend.** I never asked you to help me yesterday. You did that."

His eyes dart from my eyes down to my cleavage showing. I gasp softly and grab my robe quickly wrapping it around my body. "Well, it looks like you have to go somewhere. Is someone waiting for you?" Before I can answer he leans down to my ear. "Well, just remember, no one can make you feel the way I did. Don't you remember the way you used to moan my name?"

My breath hitches. Draco leans back and steps past me walking out of the door. I stand baffled by his response but turn and walk to the fifth floor. No one was in the hallway which meant they were either hanging out in dormitories, common rooms, or The Great Hall. Thankfully so. I wouldn't want to walk through the halls afraid of my robe coming undone in front of first years. 

I walk up the stairs, saying hello to a few Hufflepuffs walking by, and reach the door of the bathroom. Taking out my wand, I recite the password we were told on the first day and enter the room. On one side, there were toilet stalls and sinks. On the other, a large, swimming pool. It was an in ground bath and the bath taps were already running, soap bubbles appearing on top. A female was already in the tub with her head laying back on the surface. 

I cleared my throat to get Hermione's attention. She opens her eyes and looks my way. "(Y/N), you came."

I take off my robe and hang it on the hanger next to Hermione's. "Yes, I decided I needed a girl's spa day. 

I walk over to the bath and place one leg inside followed by the other. Sinking my body in, I let out a sigh from the warmness of the water. It wasn't too hot nor was it too cold.

Hermione was the first to speak,"So where did you run off to? Harry, Ron, and I spent an hour trying to find you." I took a deep breath before I answered. "Umm, I just took a walk around the grounds."

She looked at me with an eyebrow raised but didn't say anything for a few seconds. She. was trying to read me. "You know, shut your brother out all you want but you don't have to shut me out as well. Whatever is said between us, is between us. I won't tell anyone."

I look at her confused. "What do you mean?"

"What Draco was saying earlier. Did you really go into his room last night?"

I shook my head annoyed. "Yes but not in the way he was insinuating. I knocked on his door wanting to apologize for throwing him to a tree and when I waved, he saw my burn marks from detention. He told me to come inside and I did. Then, he just rubbed some aloe vera on me and wrapped a bandage. We didn't even talk except for a few words."

She looks at me with a shocked expression. "Draco? The Draco Malfoy attended to your wounds? Do you think he's the one that told Umbridge?"

"I'm not sure Hermione. I asked him but he just responded that he didn't care about me."

A few moments pass before Hermione speaks again. 

"Well, that's Draco for you. By the way, that comment you made about his dick was the best insult I have ever heard. I need to see that side of you more often," she laughs. 

I laugh along with her. 

The next hour was filled with laughter and us talking about the most random things. It was nice to have a girl conversation. Hermione was talking about some stupid thing Ron did in the Gryffindor common room in the morning. I was just happy to listen to it. 

I needed to hear something normal for a change. 

*******

**If you have stuck with me this far, thank you!**

**I don't want it to go too slow or too fast so please let me know how the pace is.**

**Please don't forget to leave a kudos and comment.**

**I was gonna drop this since it wasn't doing well on Wattpad and just work on my Azriel one coming up but seeing as it's actually getting liked on here has changed my mind.**

**I do have some questions if you guys don't mind answering before we get into the book.**

**1)Is there a specific scene you want inputted in the book? Like a fight you want Draco to have with (y/n) and so forth. This is a y/n book so if there's a pov you want just let me know.**

**2) Do you guys prefer a slow burn? If so what chapter would be a good start for the relationship to really start? Otherwise whenever it happens it happens.**

**3) How are you guys liking Isabella?**

**4) How are you guys liking the bickering between (y/n) and Draco even if it is still minimal.**

**Love**

**-M**

***edited***


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> A few housekeeping things. I wanted to inform you all that though I do love uploading chapters every day, I don't think it's the best course. I would like to have some chapters in drafts in case I become too busy I have chapters I could upload. 
> 
> With that being said, my goal is uploading at least 2-3 times a week. Maybe even more. Just an fyi. 
> 
> One other thing, do you like the (Y/N) or do you prefer a name? Or if some of you want I can upload two versions with either one. Let me know!
> 
> Also... this chapter did not go the way I originally intended for it to go but this might be interesting. 
> 
> Love xxx

"So, are you playing Quidditch this year Potter?" Graham Montague asks during lunch.

I forgot about Quidditch. Every year I attended Hogwarts, I played for Slytherin except for last year since Quidditch was cancelled due to the tournament.

"I don't know," I say unsure of whether I want to participate or not. He raises his hands in the air and slams them back down on the table but not with too much force.

"Come on Potter, we need you. You're really good. And you know your brother's moves."

"Probably lost her touch," Draco says sitting down. I scoff. "Fine Draco, how's this. Me and you. We play a game where one of us must catch the golden snitch. And whoever wins gets to be this year's seeker."

He laughs along with Crabbe and Goyle. Graham calls out, "I actually quite like this idea. Unless Draco, your afraid of Potter beating you."

He lets out a snarl, crossing his arms back, and stares me down. "We all know you're not going to win but I'll humor you. After class. And when you lose, you quit the team."

"Oh come on now Draco, that's not fair we need her!" exclaims Adrian Pucey.

"Do we really?" Draco rolls his eyes. "She's the only girl on the team and she's slowing us down. If we let her go, we can add Pansy if you care about having a girl so much. She's a much better quidditch player anyways."

I laugh, shaking my head, "Pansy!" Everyone joins in. "Please Draco, Pansy couldn't play quidditch if her life depended on it. You just want your girlfriend on the team to make yourself look like a better player."

Before he could speak, I saw Isabella walking to the table and I stood. "Well, excuse me boys, I must get to class. See you afterwards on the pitch."

The moment I leave, I hear everyone burst out in laughter and mock Draco about Pansy. I slowly feel my lips start to curl upwards before bringing them into my mouth, trying to hide my smile.

"Why do you look so happy?" Isabella asks with a confused look. I link my arm in hers and walk us out of the hall. "Because I just challenged Draco for the position of Slytherin seeker for Quidditch this year."

She gasps, "You didn't?!" I nod. "Oh yes I did."

"What if you lose?"

"Then I can't play this year and they'll replace me with..." I try to hold in my laughter but fail. "Pansy!" Bella's eyes enlarge before she joins me. We laugh the entire way to class. Our stomachs aching and Bella having to double over clutching her stomach.

"Pansy! That's the best he could do?"

"Ladies," we hear a grimly voice say behind us. We turn to see Professor Snape. "Shouldn't you be in class?"

Isabella and I glance at each other before she speaks, stuttering over her words. "Oh.. umm... well.. we're headed there now Professor Snape."

He hums and looks at me, "Ms.Potter, I need to see you in my office after this class." I nod frantically. "Yes, Professor Snape."

There's an awkward silence between all three of us, Isabella and I not knowing if we're dismissed or not while Snape just glares at us. "Umm... well. (y/n) and I better get going..." Isabella laughs nervously, grabbing my arm and walking backwards. "to class of course. Great seeing you Professor Snape."

He doesn't stop us, so we turn around. We walk fast to our next lesson. It was just across the hall. When I glance back, I see Snape still eyeing me and doesn't move until we enter the classroom.

"He gives me the creepsss," Isabella sings. I laugh nervously.

***

_Okay you can do this. It's probably nothing. I mean it's just a meeting with the Professor that always glares at you and speaks only a couple words. He probably wants to discuss Prefect business. You are a Prefect remember._

_Stop talking to yourself (y/n). Even though no one can hear you, your hands are fidgeting like crazy and you look crazy. Calm down. Besides you have a Quidditch match with Draco so you can not overload now. Save the nerves for the match and let it out on the pitch._

_Does that even make sense? Doesn't the saying go something like take your anger out on the pitch. Not nerves. (Y/N). Stop._

I looked up to see the door of Professor Snape's office and I would be lying if I said I wasn't extremely nervous. I clear my throat and knock on the door. I wait a couple moments and take in my surroundings. His office was located in the dungeon near the Slytherin house. There were only a few light torches along the wall, the air itself was gloomy.

I was about to give up and walk away but the door had opened and Professor Snape appeared in front of me.

"Good evening Ms.Potter."

I nod my head, "Good evening Professor Snape, you wanted to see me?"

"Yes," he opens the door a little wider stepping out of the way. "Come inside."

I walk inside the room and take in my surroundings. It had a gloomy presence and was very dimly-lit. The walls were lined with shelves which housed glass jars filled with things from all sorts ranging from slimy substances to plants submerged in potions of all sorts. His desk sat directly in front of the door. Two wooden chairs on each side.

I take a seat in one as he circles his desk to sit in the seat across. Awkward silence and tension fills the air before he talks. 

"Ms.Potter, have you been experiencing visions of any sort?" I look at him confused, raising an eyebrow. "Visions? Well no. Why?"

"Headaches?"

"A little."

"What about bursts of anger you couldn't quite understand?"

I freeze, not knowing whether I should lie to the Professor or tell him the truth. Do I tell him about what happened to Draco? When I threw him against a tree? Do I tell him about the snake hiss I hear?

"Umm, it has happened once or twice. But it's like I black out. I don't remember much afterwards," I confess, looking down at my hands. 

He studies me, his eyes squinting and looking at me like he was trying to see what was going on inside my brain. "Interesting," he speaks. "Has Mr.Potter been experiencing this as well?"

I shake my head. He hums, "Well, Ms.Potter. I would like you to do something for me." He pauses to open a drawer in his desk and pulls out a small leather notebook. "I want you to take this and every time you feel the anger or if you do get visions. I would like you to write them down." He hands me the notebook and I take it, my hands shaking slightly. "Is there a reason for my anger? How did you know?"

"I see everything. Specifically I saw you and Draco in the courts. You're lucky I was the only Professor walking by." I look at him confused once again. "If you saw me, why didn't you punish me? I almost said a curse."

He nods slightly, "Yes, well, I heard what Draco said and it isn't my place to get involved whatever quarrels that has occurred between you two these past two years. But what intrigued me was when you had told Hermione you didn't remember."

"Do you think something is wrong with me?" I ask softly. He shakes his head, "No. Not particularly but I do think something is going on with you. It may be you, yourself, have changed since the tournament."

I look up and make eye contact with Professor Snape. He looks concerned, a look I rarely see on him. "Do you believe Harry and I? About the Dark Lord being back?" He nods, "Yes. And I believe he's growing stronger every day. That is why I want us to get to the bottom of whatever it is that's causing your blackouts, Ms.Potter. You and Harry must be ready when the Dark Lord appears."

***

Walking back to my room, the black notebook was clutched in my hands. The meeting was weird. Visions? Where did that come from? If Professor Snape doesn't believe anything is wrong with me, then how do I explain the voice? The blackouts? The anger? 

I open my door and walk in, going straight to my closet to get my quidditch bag. Opening it, I take out my uniform. I begin taking my Slytherin clothes off and changing into them. My pants were a bit saggy and then I placed my jersey on top. Next, wearing my shin and arm guards. Finally adding my cape. I grab my gloves in one hand and my broom in the other. I walk to my door, finally putting on my boots. 

Opening the door, I see Isabella standing right in front of my door, hand up in the air like she was just about to knock. "I was just about to come get you, everyone's waiting. Come on," she says grabbing my wrist. "Everyone?" I was confused.

"Yes, well, some Slytherin may have spread the news of this little match to the rest of the houses. Everyone's decided to watch." I stop the both of us and force her to turn back to look at me. "Everyone has decided to do what?!" 

She laughs, pulling me forward once again, "Oh you'll be fine. Come on." She leads me out the Slytherin House and to the door that leads us to the quidditch pitch. 

"There she is!" I hear Hermione yell as I walk out. I laugh as she runs my way and hugs me. "You better give Malfoy a run for his money."

"This is probably the laugh we all needed," laughs Ron and hugs me.

Harry was the last. "Well, my sister will win that's for sure. Come one. Everyone's waiting."

We walk through the doors that lead us to the oval pitch and my friends walk off to sit in the bleachers. The Slytherin team in the middle. Captain Montague standing in the center. I walk towards them. Crabbe is the first to notice.

"Will you look who finally came?" he announces. I scoff. "What? Did you think I was going to back out?" Draco stands across from me while Montague is standing in between. "All right now," He starts saying. "I want a clean game from the both of you. No cheating. This match determines the seeker this year and that's important. Are you two sure you want to do this?"

Draco and I nod. "Unless you want to back out Potter, it's not too late. Better now than later when I prove what a loser you are." I laugh. "Please Malfoy, we both know that's not going to happen."

"Shake hands," Montague states. Draco's hand engulfs mine and we shake. Montague steps back and begins announcing to the crowds.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of all Houses. Welcome to the first ever Quidditch Seeker face-off. Now some of you may be wondering what exactly is this event and I'll fill you in. Potter and Malfoy here have decided to play a little match to determine who the seeker will be for this year's Slytherin Quidditch team. If Potter wins, Draco steps down and he will take Potter's position. If Potter loses, well, she is kicked off the team for this year's matches and will be replaced by Pansy Parkinson. Rules are simple, no cheating. 

The goal of the match will be to capture the golden snitch. Best 2 out of three wins. Oh lose the look Malfoy, one round is too easy. Are you all ready?" The crowd cheers and I look around. It truly was all houses. I see Ron, Harry, Hermione, Fred, and George sitting down side by side. Griffyindor was cheering Potter over and over again. Slytherin a mix of Potters and Malfoys. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff a mixture as well along with some normal cheering.

"Malfoy and Potter, when I say go," Montague raises his hand in signal for the person releasing the snitch. I climb atop of my broom as Malfoy does the same. Gripping my hands around the top, I angle my feet off the ground. The moment Montague drops his hands and says Go, Draco and I are off.

I fly straight up circling around Ravenclaw's heads. Draco was on the other side however, following directly behind the snitch. _Rookie mistake._ I fly behind the pillars, moving faster towards the snitch. Knowing very well, I'll have to either fly straight down or straight up when I get close. 

The moment I see the snitch in my grasp, it flies downwards and I'm quick to follow it, turning my body sideways to try and cut my way to where it's going. I see Draco flying towards the snitch and reach out to grab it, almost falling off his broom and I laugh, flying upwards. I tilt to the left a little and hide behind a pillar slowly flying as I see the golden snitch a little way in front of me on the opposite side of the pillar. Slowly, I fly downwards and fall a little behind. 

I only have a few seconds to pull this off so I must do it currently. Without thinking twice, I escalate my flying and fly upwards. Reaching my hand up, I capture the golden snitch from behind. It never knew I was coming. I hold the snitch up in the air to show everyone, I've gotten it and cheers erupt. 

"Potter's got it!" Montague calls out. "Time for round 2."

I hand the snitch to the person readying it and fly down to go to the starting point. 

"Recovering from the fall yet Malfoy?" I smirk at Draco. He scoffs. "You got lucky this round Potter." I laugh. "We'll see about that." 

I get into the position I once was in before and again Montague calls go. This time, I fly straight out then upwards. The snitch never repeats it's movements twice. I have to figure out a different plan.

**_Strike him down._ **

I flinch at the sound of the hiss coming back once more and buckle right, almost hitting a pillar. 

_Who are you? Why are you back?_ I ask it.

 _Strike him down._ It repeats.

_Strike who down?_

**_The Malfoy child._ **

_What? No. I'm not cheating._

_**As you wish.** _

I was grateful the voice had left me alone but anxious. Why did it let go so quickly? _Concentrate._ Right, the snitch. I looked out to see Draco flying behind me and in front was the snitch. I angle downward to try and outsmart the snitch. Within seconds, I'm grasping the area of the snitch but a sharp pain shoots throughout my body. Specifically my chest where my scar is. 

I let out a cry and clutch my chest and try to steady myself in the sky. A headache erupts inside my head feeling like 50 or so people are banging on a door. My eyes felt heavy. I feel myself losing the grip of my broom and I soon feel myself dropping into the center of the pitch. 

I hear cheering as I fall, probably from Draco catching the golden snitch. But then screaming quickly replaces it. I don't know whether I'm screaming or crying myself but the pain is unbearable.

I feel like the scar has reopened and something was burning inside my body. The only other time I felt like this was when Voldemort appeared moments before he killed Cedric but even then it didn't feel like this. 

I think I hear my name being called but I'm not sure. It was happening so slowly, I didn't know when I would reach the ground. Suddenly, I felt two arms under me and I was placed sitting in front of them on a broom. My back against their chest. One of their arms secured around my waist. I felt myself landing with this mystery person and all I could do was cry. 

"(Y/N), you're going to be alright." 

The moment we landed on the ground, they placed both arms under me -one under my neck and one under my knees- and sat me on the grass. 

"What happened?" I hear a female voice ask. "I don't know," a male says. 

"Did you cast a spell on her Malfoy?" _Harry._

I tried to speak but the pain was too much. 

**_I told you to strike down the Malfoy child._ **

_What does that have to do with this?_

_**You defied me. You must be punished. Accept me. Do as I say in the future and this could all be avoided.** _

"(y/n)" a voice says, their hands on my face. I open my eyes and see my brother. The pain slowly subsided with Harry around. "Breathe. Where does it hurt?"

"Everywhere," I manage to say. 

"Mr.Potter, move aside," Professor Snape states, walking closer. He points his wand at me. "Somnium." 

Before I could manage to ask why, my world went black.


	7. Chapter 7

_"Hello?" I call out into the darkness. "Is anyone there?"_

_Am I dreaming? Last I remember, I was laying in pain on the Quidditch field before Professor Snape placed the sleeping hex on me. So, where was I now?_

_I look down to see I'm dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, who undressed me? I opened the door in front of me and saw that I was walking in the Hogwarts hallway. "Hello?" I call out again. "Anyone?"_

**_"Right here (y/n)."_ ** _I startle at the sound of the hiss. I turn around frantically but no one is around. "Where are you?" A hiss._ **_"Right behind you."_ **

_I turn to find a snake slithering my way. My breath hitches in the back of my throat._ ****_A large green snake made its way to me. It was as thick as my thighs._

**_"Are you scared,"_ ** _it hissed. I took a step back. It laughed?_ **_"You shouldn't be, I am part of you after all."_ **

_The snake circles me, not attacking nor coming closer. But it circles me like a predator taunting a prey. It's green skin glistens in the light coming from the windows._

_"What... what..." I stutter. "What do you mean a part of me?" I swallow harshly as the head of the snake slithers towards me._ **_"I am inside you. I am part of your heart. Why haven't you given in yet?"_ **

_"Given in?" As it came closer, I stepped backwards until I tripped. I fell back on the ground. Looking up, I see I slipped on the snake, itself. It's head came closer and closer._ **_"Give in to the darkness inside you Potter."_ ** _As it speaks it begins wrapping itself around my body._ **_"Everyone knows you are destined to be evil. Give in. Resist and the pain you felt before will worsen. Until it will feel so painful... you can not bear to live."_ **

_It wrapped itself so tight I could hardly breathe. I gasp for air but none comes through. "Please," I choke. "Please," I repeat crying. "PLEASE!"_

I shoot up from the bed, gasping for air. Hands wrapping around my throat. "Please," I whisper once more. Was that a dream? Was that a vision Snape talked about? It felt so real.

"(Y/N)?" I hear someone say from beside me. Harry was sitting in the chair that belonged to my bed with his head down on my mattress. He opens his eyes and slowly sits up. I press my back against the headboard and take in my surroundings. Everything's the same. I was in my room. I looked to the couch to see Ron and Hermione sleeping.

"Harry," I manage to say. My throat was dry like I haven't been drinking water in weeks. He stands from the chair and walks to my desk grabbing a cup of water and brings it up to my lips. A hand on the back of my neck to help me drink. As I drank the water, it felt like knives in my throat. I begin coughing pushing the water away. Harry places the water on my nightstand and rubs my back.

Hermione and Ron were awake and making their way towards me. "You're awake," Ron says, sitting on the edge of my bed. I nod. "How long have I been sleeping?" I manage to say.

They all glance at each other. "It's been two weeks since the match," Hermione finally says. I gasp and look down at my lap. "(y/n), what happened out there? Was it Draco?" Ron asks.

I shake my head, "No, no it wasn't. I just... I don't know. The snitch was in my grasp and all the sudden, my scar began hurting. It felt like a wound reopened like we felt during the tournament Harry but this time it felt stronger, more painful."

A silence falls upon us. Each one staring at the other in confusion and horror. When the wound hurts, it's a sign Voldemort is near. But by the look of their faces, it seems like I was the only one who experienced the pain.

Harry clears his throat before looking at me, "(Y/N), I didn't feel any pain. And you and I have always felt pain at the exact time when Voldemort appears." I look at him puzzled and confused. The only time I feel pain is when Voldemort is near but if Harry didn't feel it, then Voldemort wasn't here. What is going on?

"Did you see him?" Hermione asks. I shake my head once again, "No, I didn't see him. My body just wanted to shut down. I lost control. Who saved me from falling? Was it you Harry?"

He stays quiet and looks at Ron and Hermione. "Umm, no it was-" 

"It was me," Ron interrupted. "I saw you falling while everyone was cheering for Draco and my broom was nearby so I hopped on it. That's when everyone noticed what was happening." I nod my head in understanding. "Thank you."

"Did Dumbledore have any idea as to why my wound caused me pain?" Again they all looked at each other. "Oh bloody hell, stop that. Would you just tell me something without looking at each other for once!"

Hermione sighs, "Dumbledore is gone." 

"What!" I exclaim. 

"Come on, we'll show you," Harry says and helps me out of bed. 

***

It was worse than I thought. The ministry appointed Umbridge as High Minister at Hogwarts. A lot has happened in the week, I was _asleep_. She's been going around assessing teachers to ensure they are "fit" at teaching at Hogwarts. The laughter and fun has gone out of Hogwarts. Music was banned. The Weasley twin's trinkets were banned. You must be properly dressed at all times -which obviously most were but in between classes if you were seen even loosening your tie- you would be punished.

We walk down the hallway, Hermione's hand in mind, just in case anything happens. We see Neville running down the hall, "Come to the front. Professor Trelawney is getting escorted out of Hogwarts!" 

"What? Why?" I ask. "Umbridge probably decided she wasn't fit to teach here," Ron states as we walk to the front of Hogwarts. We see a sea of students circled around the front. The three of us find a place near a pillar to stand. I lean against the pillar for support. The door clanks open and Umbridge walks out. 

She was wearing an obnoxious pink and white checkered dress with a matching cloak. Her heels click on the tiled floors. She marches straight at ProfessorTrelawney. 

"Sixteen years I've lived and taught here," ProfessorTrelawney starts. "Hogwarts is my home. You can't do this." Her voice was breaking and I felt horrible for her. "Actually, I can," she says in a devilish sweet voice holding up a paper. 

Professor McGonagall speed walks in between Harry and I. Walking straight to Professor Trelawney and engulfing her in her arms, glaring at Umbridge. " Something you'd like to say dear?" Umbridge challenges.

"Oh, there are several things I would like to say," Professor McGonagall says in a pained voice then turns to Trelawney comforting her. "There..."

Just before she could finish, the door opened with another clang. Dumbledore steps through. "I thought you said Dumbledore was gone?" I whispered to Harry. "He was. We found out he had been replaced, the next day after the match."

He struts all the way in front of Umbridge before he speaks, "Professor McGonagall, might I ask you to escort Sybil back inside?" Gasps are heard among the students. Professor McGonagall nods, "Sybil, dear. This way." She guides her past Dumbledore, Trelawney shaking his hand and muttering thank you over and over again. 

"Dumbledore," the pink doll speaks. "May I remind you that under the terms of Educational Decree Number..."

"You have the right to dismiss my teachers," he interrupts. "You do not, however, have the authority to banish them from the grounds. That power remains with the headmaster."

"For now," she smiles creepily. A silence falls upon the crowd. Without a second word, Dumbledore turns around and walks away saying loudly, "Don't you all have studying to do?"

"Professor," Harry says walking away. "Professor? Professor Dumbledore..." Dumbledore stops, turns around and says, "Ms.Potter, my office." Turning back around, he ignores Harry. "Harry it's alright," I rub his back. "He'll come around."

Harry doesn't turn around, he looks straight ahead. "Go, he's waiting for you."

***

I knock on Dumbledore's door. The door creaks open and I take a breath, walking in. "Professor Dumbledore?" I call out. 

"Over Ms.Potter," he says. I look up to see him at the top of the stairwell that circles around the back of his office. He was making his way down. 

"You wanted to see me?" He eyes me up and down before gesturing me to the seat in front of his desk. I slowly walk over to the seat and sit down waiting for him to talk. 

"How are you feeling (y/n)?" he asks. "Umm okay," I whisper unsure of myself. He hums and walks over sitting in his chair. "What happened at the match?"

I look at him confused, "Weren't you there?" He nods, "Yes, but I am not you. What happened?"

I think for a second, my mind hazy from all the details. "I don't really know. One moment, the golden snitch was in my grasp. The next I felt an excruciating pain in my chest where the scar was. Next, my body felt like it was burning and all I wanted to do was close my eyes and make it stop." 

"Did you recite any spell beforehand? Take a potion of some sort?" I look up. "No, nothing I swear." Silence. 

"Well Ms.Potter, from now on, you will take it easy. No quidditch. No shenanigans. Until we know what happened and how to fix it, you need to stay safe. Voldemort is coming which means you and Harry must be ready. Do you understand?" I nod. "Yes"

"Good, now go get some supper, you woke pretty late. Do you not feel drained?" I shake my head, "No it felt like a normal sleep. I thought the match happened yesterday until Hermione said it's been 2 weeks."

"Very well then." he stands and I do as well. I turn and walk to the door, grasping the handle. But then stop and let it go, turning back around. "Why have you been ignoring Harry and I? Specifically Harry now that you have finally talked to me."

He doesn't answer me instead opening the door for me. A gesture to leave. I let out a sigh and walked away and made my way to the Great Hall. 

***

"That foul, evil, old gargoyle," Hermione exclaims. "We're not learning how to defend ourselves." She paces back and forth. "We're not learning how to pass our OWLs. She's taking over the entire school."

We were in the Gryffindor common room, I came in here with the three so no one questioned me. No one really does seeing as they trust me enough. I was laying on the couch, my head on Ron's lap as Hermione was ranting about Umbridge. 

As soon as Hermione was finished speaking the radio blurts out, "Security has been and will remain the Ministry's top priority." I sit up and turn facing Harry as he turns up the volume. 

"Furthermore, we have convincing evidence that these disappearances are the work of notorious mass murderer Sirius Black."

"Sirius?" I question standing up. "Why would they believe it was Sirius?

"Harry. (y/n)," I hear coming from behind me. I turn to see Sirius's head in flames where the fireplace was. 

"Sirius," Harry and I say at the same time walking over to the fireplace and kneeling down. 

"What are you doing here?" Harry asks while I say "You can't be here. It's dangerous."

"Answering your letter, Harry." he starts. "You said you were worried about Umbridge. What's she doing? Training you to kill half-breeds? And (y/n), what happened? Are you alright?"

"She's not letting us use magic at all," Harry answers his first question. Sirius sighs, "Well, I'm not surprised. The latest intelligence is that Fudge doesn't want you trained in combat."

"Combat?" Ron questions. "What does he think, we're forming some sort of wizard army?"Sirius confirms, "That's exactly what he thinks. That Dumbledore is assembling his own forces to take on the Ministry. He's becoming more paranoid by the minute. (y/n), darling, quickly how are you?"

I laugh softly, "I'm fine Sirius, really. I don't know what happened but I'm okay."

The flame flickers. "Very well, I will need continuous updates love. Now, the others wouldn't want me telling you this, but things aren't going at all well with the Order."

"What do you mean?" I ask curiously. 

"Fudge is blocking the truth at every turn and these disappearances are just how it started before. Voldemort is on the move."

"Well, what can we do?" Harry asks. 

"Someone's coming," Sirius says. "I'm sorry I can't be of more help. But for now, at least, it looks like you're on your own. But you have each other. Lean on each other. Take care of each other."

"Sirius wait," I say but the flame goes out. I sigh and stand. 

We stand and walk to the windows. The dark sky is out, the moon is shining, the sound of rain heavy, and thunder striking. 

"He really is out there, isn't he?" Hermione says out loud. "We've got to be able to defend ourselves. And if Umbridge refuses to teach us how, we need someone who will." She turns and a loud thunder strikes, lighting the room with the white light. 

"We first gather students. It'll take a few days," I say. Ron nods, "We'll start telling everyone and then..." 

"No," Hermione interrupts. "Let's start off with only a handful. And then when we get everything sorted out, then we'll tell more. Alright with everyone?" We all nod. 

"Well, we should all get some rest then," I say and begin walking to the exit. "(y/n), wait," I hear Harry's footsteps behind me. I stop walking and turn around. "Are you sure you're alright to sleep alone tonight?" 

I nod, "Harry I told you I was fine. I feel fine anyways. I feel as though nothing happened." He turns to Hermione and Ron before turning around, grabbing my arm, and pulling me around the corner. "When you were waking up, I heard you say please. Who were you talking to?"

I inhale a deep breath. I still remember it. I tried my best to forget but little things today have been bringing me back. Every time I saw a picture of a snake or even the color green, I thought of the snake. Being in the Slytherin house, it was difficult. 

"I don't remember," I lied. He probably already thinks I'm going insane with the Draco incident and now the quidditch. I don't need to tell him there's a voice in my head driving me insane and I saw a vision dream about a snake. "Alright," he sighs. "Come on, let me walk you back." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys loved this chapter!
> 
> Don't forget to vote and comment!
> 
> Love xxx


	8. Chapter 8

Two days later, I woke up and wore some leggings along with a Burgundy jumper, a black coat, and a black scarf. Today after lunch, the group and I would be meeting with a few members to start an army against Voldemort. I left it up to them to pick who to tell. The only person I told was Isabella, who I haven't caught up with but she understands seeing I was in a sleeping hex for two weeks. 

A part of me wants to talk with Snape to ask him why he thought a sleeping hex would be the best course of action but then again I knew why. I wrote the Snake vision in the journal but am unsure if I want to share it with him or not. 

I haven't seen Draco but I would be after dinner as him and I needed to discuss a house event for the upcoming week. He offered to hold our meeting in his room but after his comment, I rejected saying we could meet in mine and leave the door open. Those were the rules. I walked away before he could reject my offer. 

"So, do you know who's attending?" Isabella whispers as everyone around us was busy eating breakfast. I shake my head as a response. "No one else in Slytherin knows about this right?"

"Just us," she confirms. "Is there a reason you didn't want to include anyone in Slytherin?" I sigh. "No, but ever since I woke up, I've been getting weird looks. And then you told me how multiple members were helping Umbridge but don't know who, I'm just being cautious until we know who we can tell." She nods in understanding. 

"Oi Potter," Crabbe calls out. I look at him. "Feeling alright over there?" I look at Isabella and she shrugs. "Yes, I am." 

"Are you sure? Seemed like a real psycho on the field," he laughs. I roll my eyes. "Shut up Crabbe."

"He's not wrong. You were yelling in so much pain, Professor Snape had to put you to bed," Draco laughs. "Was it a spell gone wrong? Only way you could've won." 

I snap my head at Draco's direction. "No Draco. I did not cheat. I did not attempt a spell. I was physically in pain. Now would you please shut up." His face tenses up. "What? Did you feel the Dark Lord around? That would be the only other explanation. Was it another one of your tricks to try to make us believe you. You are that type of person."

"Shut it Draco. (y/n) did not lie about it at first and she's still not lying about it now. Just because you choose not to believe her doesn't make her a liar," Bella sneers. I put my head down, "It's not worth it Bella."

"Yes Bella, it isn't worth covering her and her lies. What would your father say about this? Why he would think you've gone mad too. Like father, like daughter I suppose," he chuckles back. Bella stands and slams her fist on the ground, "Do not bring my father into this Malfoy. He left the ministry because he saw the ignorance and chose to begin getting ready for the battle of our lives."

Draco and his goonies burst out in laughter. _**Get angry.**_

"You know what Draco," I yell standing up and walking towards him. I slam my hands on the table in front of him. "Laugh now all you want. Go ahead. But I promise you Draco Malfoy, when the battle comes...and it is coming... I will not help you. I will leave you to die. And then when you are slowly dying. I'll learn it..." I lean into his ear whispering, "and tell you, I warned you then I'll leave you to bleed. Maybe then you'll believe me." I smile and stand up again, looking at Draco.

He was fuming. Smoke could come out of his ears. He opened his mouth up to speak but I held up my hand, somehow my wand ended up in it, and pointed it at him. Nothing came out. It's like he was silenced. Then he started choking, his hands wrapped around his neck, and face turning red. "(y/n)," I heard Isabella say. She grabbed my arm. But all I saw was red. "(y/n)," she states again. 

**_Don't stop. Make him choke on his words._ **

"(y/n)!" I heard Harry yell and grab my arm pulling it down. Draco continued to choke. "How is she doing it?" I hear someone ask. Harry grabs my hand and drags me away. **_"_** **Anapneo"** I say while being dragged, making sure everyone heard me. Just then Draco begins coughing, inhaling deeply. Professors attending to him. "What happened?" one of them asked. 

"I don't know, we were arguing and he begun choking-"

"She began choking me!" Draco yelled. "What?" I screamed. "I never said any spell Draco, I just held my hand up and everyone just heard me say the healing spell. I helped you Malfoy!" 

"Liar!" he scolded back. "Mr.Malfoy, I witnessed Ms.Potter saying the healing spell. She helped you. You probably choked on your breakfast. Now the both of you separate," Professor McGonagall says in a serious tone. 

I looked back at Draco once more and walked out with Isabella. 

***

"What in bloody hell happened back at breakfast?" Ron asks confused as he missed the whole commotion.

We were walking down a path to the cabin where the meeting was being held. The cold air surrounding us and snow covered the ground. 

"Draco was being a tool once again, nothing new," I answered. "Nothing new?" Harry repeats stepping in front of me, stopping our walking. "Nothing new! (y/n), you almost killed him. What's going on with you?" 

" _Killed him_? You saw me save him."

He shakes his head and pokes his finger at my chest. "No, I heard a voice that didn't sound like you saved him. You got angry and pointed your finger at him and he began choking on nothing. Isabella said your name and grabbed you but you still didn't respond. You only realized what you were doing when **I** pulled you away. So I will ask again, what the hell is going on with you?"

I roll my eyes. Anger fuming me once more. " _What's going on with me?_ Aren't you sick and tired of everyone calling us liars. Voldemort is back and it seems like the only ones who seem to care is us and the order. What are we doing Harry? Why are you so keen on saving everyone? If they don't believe us, **To hell with them.** We should be figuring out a place that is safe for us so we don't die. He's after us after all. Do you really think that everyone at Hogwarts will fight to save us? You must be delirious."

"He's not only after us, little sister," Harry argues back. "Once he's done with us, he'll go after Hogwarts. And where else would we go? Hogwarts is our home-"

"No it's not!" I interrupt and yell. "If it was truly our home, why did they leave us on the door steps of our dreaded aunt and uncle instead of staying here? Why did they let us endure years of terror before coming in when they knew all along what was happening? They're only using us Harry. The **Potter twins.** Here to save them against the Dark Lord. Dumbledore won't even talk to you because he's not ready to **use you yet**."

Harry stares at me, his eyes glaring with anger. His chest quickly going up and down from his heavy breathing. At some part of our argument, I had stepped closer, looking up at him. My hands were at my side in fists. Harry and I have never gotten into a fight over this. We've always been on one side. 

But for some reason, something in me switched. I was tired of this constant battle. Tired of being called a liar. Tired of constantly having to prove myself. I was done being the backseat Potter twin, the non-chosen one. If Voldemort was coming and was coming soon, I would not hesitate to eliminate anyone who comes in between me and the ones I want to protect. Regardless of how close I was or if we were once on the same side. 

But Harry, Harry doesn't want to hurt anyone. He thinks we could defeat Voldemort with little casualty. How ignorant of my brother. Voldemort had probably required loyalists to stand before him and they were probably willing to die for their Dark Lord. 

"Okay, calm down," Ron says, separating us. "Listen to yourselves, arguing with each other. Now is not the time. Now is the worst time. Listen (y/n), I can't speak on behalf of everyone but I promise you, I will be one of the ones to stand by you and protect you. But this isn't you."

I laugh and storm past Ron. "Don't tell me who I am Weasley."

I hear footsteps and I see it's Isabella from the corner of my eyes. She loops her arms with mine, not saying anything but her actions speak enough. I hear sighs from behind me and then footsteps. They

 _Well look who finally stood up to her older brother._ The voice hissed.

I groaned internally. _What do you want?_

**_No 'who are you'? This is new._ **

_If I ask you who you are, will you tell me?_

**_No._ **

I roll my eyes, forgetting for a second it was a voice in my head. _What do you want?_

There's a silence. 

_Are you there?_

_**Yes and no. Since you haven't accepted the darkness in you, it is difficult for me to always be present.** _

_I don't understand._

_**I'm only present when you get angry.** _

_Are you the reason I black out?_

**_In a way... accept me and you won't black out._ **

_Accept what?_

_**The darkness.** _

"(Y/n)," Isabella snaps me out of my trance. I shoot up to look at her. "Are you alright? I lost you for a second there." I nod. "Yes, I'm sorry." I look up to see Hermione, Ron, and Harry staring at me. We've reached the door. "Were you saying something?"

Hermione raises an eyebrow, "I said you and Harry could train us. Seeing how you've seen Voldemort before." 

"This is mad. Who'd wanna be taught by me? I'm a nutter, remember?" Harry says. 

"Look on the bright side: you can't be any worse than old toad face." laughs Ron.

"Thanks, Ron" Harry sighs. Ron turns back to Harry, "I'm here for you, mate."

"What about you? Are you up for it?" Isabella turns to me. I sigh, "If I'm going to be fighting alongside these people, might as well."

Harry nods my way before asking, "Who's supposed to be meeting us, then?"

"Just a couple of people," answers Hermione as we approach the door. She looks back at us and we all nod in confirmation as she opens the door. 

"Lovely spot," says Ron with a bland tone. The cabin was dark. A bulls head mounted on the wall. A table with a couple chairs. A bar with a couple stools. A goat made a noise as it walked off and a man was standing with white hair and a white beard.

"Thought it would be safer off the beaten track."

A few moments later, a group of students arrived at the cabin and we stood in a room. The five of us in the front were facing about 20 people. 

Hermione stands nervously, "Umm. Hi.So you all know why we're here. We need a teacher." A pause. "A proper teacher. One who's had experience defending themselves against the Dark Arts."

"Why?" a boy calls out. Ron looks annoyed as he answers, "Why Because You-Know-Who's back, you tosspot."

"So he says," the boy retorts back. Hermione clarifies, "So Dumbledore says."

"So Dumbledore says because he says. The point is, where's the proof?"

A silence falls before another boy answers, "If the Potters could tell us more about how Diggory got killed..."

"I'm not gonna talk about Cedric, so if that's why you're here, clear out now." Harry exclaims standing up to leave. "Come on, Hermione. They're here because they think I'm some sort of freak."

I stand, "Cedric died by the hands of Voldemort. That's the only important detail you need to know. So if you don't want to help, so be it but do not sit here and waste my time."

The people look around at each other as if to see what their next move was until Luna spoke up, "Is it true you can produce a Patronus Charm?"

I looked down in sadness. I have never been able to produce the charm. Only Harry has. So I'm assuming she was speaking to Harry. I didn't answer.I see Harry looking at me and letting out a sigh. He knew this was a sore subject for me. During our third year, Harry, Hermione, and I were attacked by dementors. I was trapped under a dementor unable to help myself but Harry had performed it just before my happy memories were sucked out of me. I always wondered why it never worked for me. 

"Yes," blurts out Hermione. "I've seen it."

"Blimey, Harry. I didn't know you could do that," says Dean Thomas. 

"And the twins killed a basilisk, with the sword in Dumbledore's office," states Neville looking around.

"It's true," confirms Ginny.

"Third year, they fought off about a hundred Dementors at once," mentions Ron. 

Hermione speaks as well,"Last year, they really did fight off You-Know-Who in the flesh."

"Wait," Harry interrupts. He walks near me and grabs my hand. "Look, it all sounds great when you say it like that," he looks at me. "but the truth is, most of that was just luck and having a sister by my side. I didn't know what I was doing half the time."

"It's true," I say looking at our hands. "I was terrified most of the time. The thing that kept me going was making sure Harry was safe. If anything, each time is harder and more difficult."

"They are just being modest," Hermione tells the group. 

"No, Hermione, we're not," I state. 

"Facing this stuff in real life is not like school. In school, if you make a mistake, you can just try again tomorrow.But out there when you're a second away from being murdered or watching a friend die right before your eyes..." Harry speaks but doesn't finish and looks at me. 

"You don't know what that's like," I finish for him. "It's the most terrible thing in the world. You see the life leaving them. You hear them trying to fight for that last breath. You feel the weight of their body getting heavier in their arms. The worst part was knowing there was nothing you could do to save them. Nothing you could do to take away their pain, you just need to hold them, knowing they had expected death and stopped fighting it. And when they're gone, hearing the screams of their parents, who scream for their child and realize they don't have a child or one less child to care for. Because they know, a parent should never outlive their child." 

I wipe away my tears with one hand and Harry squeezes the one he's holding. I look down at the floor and hear small sniffles suggesting I wasn't the only one crying. I sit back down and Harry does as well. Isabella rubs my back. 

"You're right, we don't," Hermione sits. She then turns to the group. "That's why we need your help. Because if we're going to have any chance at beating..." She looks at me, "Voldemort..."

A silence falls before a young boy says, "He's really back."

Harry nods and I do as well saying, "Yes, we wouldn't ask you all to be here and fight if it wasn't important. He may be after specifically Harry and I but I assure you when he's done with us, he will go after all of Hogwarts."

Isabella coughs and we all turn to her. "I know it's scary," she begins to say. "It's terrifying going up against the Dark...Voldemort. But the war is happening whether you want it to or not. You have two choices, either fight -for you, for your family, for your future- or coward away and pray that you won't die. So, we have the paper, if you choose to join the army, please sign your name."

She placed a paper and pencil on the desk which already had our names on it and sat back. They all looked at each other waiting to see if anyone would come up. The air in the room became harder to breathe with the unknowing if we were on our own. 

Just when I'd lost all hope, George stands and walks over. He leans down and grabs the pencil signing his name after Harry before looking up at me. "I won't let Cedric's death be for nothing." I smile and mouth _thank you_.

Just then more students stand and begin walking over to sign their names. Hope in flames within me. Like this was just what I needed as a sign that I was doing the right thing. 

Harry stands pulling me up with the hand he's holding and walks me to the side of the room while everyone signs. He doesn't say anything but just wraps his arms around me. I hug him back around his waist and set my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry about earlier,"he whispers. 

"It's alright," I whisper back. "I'm sorry too." He pulls away but leaves an arm wrapped around my shoulder as we watch as our friends sign the paper to join Dumbledore's Army. 

***

"Right," Harry tells as he, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Neville, the Weasley twins, Isabella and I walk across the bridge. "First we need to find a place to practice where Umbridge won't find out."

"The Shrieking Shack?" suggests Ginny. Harry shakes his head, "It's too small."

"Forbidden Forest?" Ron laughs nervously, "Not bloody likely."

"Harry, what happens if Umbridge does find out?" Ginny asks. 

"Who cares?" Hermione laughs. "I mean, it's sort of exciting, isn't it, breaking the rules?"

"Who are you and what have you done with Hermione Granger?" I laugh. She ignores me, "Anyway, at least we know one positive thing that came from today."

"What's that?" Harry asks. I laugh and turn around, walking backwards as I look at Harry. "Did you not notice? There was a specific someone who was trying to get your attention the entire time." He looks at me confused, the girls and I laugh.

"Cho couldn't take her eyes off you, could she?" Hermione smiles and walks to me, turning me back around and looping her arms with Isabella and I. "Boys," Isabella laughed. "They never pay attention." She then peaks over her shoulder, "Ginny came up here with us, You might lose some brain cells back there."

"Hey!" Ron exclaims but Ginny runs and loops her arms with Isabella's as we continue to walk. 

The air around us had uplifted. This was exactly what we all needed for a symbol of hope. With students willing to learn how to defend Hogwarts, we now had some sort of leverage against Voldemort. It wouldn't be easy, the exact opposite actually. But this was a start. 

"Right. Over the next few days, we should each come up with a couple of possibilities of places we can practice," Harry states as we walk into the school. "We've got to make sure, wherever it is, there's no chance she can find us."

"Yes Professor Potter," I joke and the group laughs. "Can we discuss this after Dinner?" Ron asks. "I'm starving."

We all mumble in agreement and make our way to the Great Hall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm hoping you guys love this chapter. I'm excited for where this is going. Don't forget to please leave a kudos and comment.  
> Love  
> -M


	9. Chapter 9

I was taking off my coat when I heard a knock at my door. Quickly throwing my coat on the sofa, I went to open the door to see who it was.

"Finally," Draco says with a hello stepping inside. "Let's get this over with." I snicker, "Not even a hello? How are you? Well I'm fine thank you very much for asking. How are you?"

"How am I?" he says a gentle voice and then gets louder. "How am I!" He walks over and grabs me by my arm pulling me away from the door before slamming it shut.

"What the hell did you do this morning Potter?" I look at him confused. "What are you talking about?"

He laughs loudly, "Oh don't play dumb. We're the only two in this room. You choked me. I don't know how without reciting a spell but it was you, I know it." I shake my head, "I did nothing of the sort Malfoy. Now let's finish this business because I would very much like to go to bed."

With that I go sit on one side of the sofa and Draco still stands near the door. With a huff, he storms over and sits down. We stay silent for a bit before I say, "So, what are we thinking?" No answer.

"Well, alright," I say looking around. Draco lets out a sigh and leans back on the sofa, hand on his head. "The Prefects of Hufflepuff came up to me when you were in your sleeping hex, they wanted to do a mix Slytherin-Hufflepuff house event."

I move my position on the sofa so I'm leaning on the arm rest and my knees are bent, facing Draco. "Is that allowed?" He nods, "We could do whatever we wish."

I think about it for a second before agreeing. "Okay then. What did they have in mind?" He shrugged, "They just said it would be a hang out of some sort. Games, movies, and so on. Nothing really a set plan." I hum. "Well, do you want to do it?"

He looked at me and smirked, "Well we could play pranks on the Gryffindor house. Do it late at night when everyone's in bed." My eyes go wide and I shake my head, "Absolutely not. Especially with Umbridge still as High Inquisitor."

He laughs. "Scared of her, are you?"

"No, but I don't want to draw attention to myself."

"Too late for that. Everyone's talking about you." I look at him in curiosity, "What are they saying?"

He stands to leave, "That you're going insane." I stand after him. "Insane? Why would they think that?"

He looks at me with shock which twists into anger. "Are you really asking that? You threw me to a tree. You somehow mysteriously pained yourself at the quidditch match which I'm convinced was a spell gone wrong which means you were cheating. And you almost killed me. All you're doing is denying it or claiming that you don't remember. Oh wait sorry, sometimes you don't know what came over you."

"I don't have to explain myself to you anymore," I storm past him and open the door. He walks towards it but instead of leaving, grabs the door once more and slams it shut. "No, I'm not leaving until you tell me what in bloody hell is going on."

I huff and step away from him, my hands flying in the air. "Why would you care, Draco? It doesn't concern you!" He yells back, "I don't care! Not about you anyways. I care about me. And if whatever is going on with you will hurt me, I deserve to know."

I scoff and walk up to him, "Not everything is about you Malfoy. Now leave." He shakes his head. "Are you upset with me? It seems I'm always the target of your anger."

I look at him dead in the eyes, "I didn't magically forget our conversation Draco. And of course you're always the target of my anger. You provoke me." I point my fingers at his chest. "You push my buttons, again and again. You lie in front of others about what we do behind closed doors. Just keep my name out of your mouth and we'll be fine."

He laughs and turns away, "Push your buttons? Darling, I do nothing of the sort. I do remember me pushing your buttons was what got you in my bed last time." Then he gasps. "Wait, is this it? Because you can't get into my bed now since I'm dating Pansy? Are you j-"

"Don't even finish that question because the answer is no. Leave Draco."

"No." I sigh and place my hands on my hips, anger boiling up inside of me. I try to shut my eyes and focus on my breathing to calm myself down.

**_Hello again._ **

_Not you too. What do you want?_

**_It seems we have the Malfoy boy in our midst. Shall we teach him another lesson._ **

_No._

**_That wasn't a question Potter._ **

_I said no._

**_When will you learn?_ **

The voice goes silent and I open my eyes to look back at Draco. "Can you please just lea-" Before I could finish my question, I let out a scream. Pain shoots out throughout my body and I fall to the floor, holding my scar. It felt like a thousand knifes were going through my body and those knives had been placed in a burner beforehand.

I feel Draco run to me and kneel on the ground, turning me on my back. "(y/n), what happened?" I couldn't answer him, the pain was too much. Suddenly, I felt like I was choking and I tried to breathe but couldn't. It felt like a snake was circling my body and squeezing the air out of me.

_Stop. Please._

**_Those who defy must be punished._ **

_Please stop._

**_Will you hurt the Malfoy boy?_ **

_No._

**_As you wish._ **

The squeezing gets tighter and I gasp for air. Draco stands and runs to the door. "Someone call for help!" he screams. I hear footsteps coming my way and my body being lifted, placed again on the bed. I feel tears on my face and I know I'm crying.

"What happened?"

"Draco, what did you do?"

"Nothing, we were talking and she was in pain all the sudden."

"Professor Snape."

"Out of my way."

"(y/n), it's Bella, I'm right here."

"Someone go get Harry!"

I feel a hands on my face examining me. I still couldn't breathe. "Ms.Potter, can you hear me?" I hear Professor Snape say. I tried to make some sort of movement on my body to signify I could but my body failed me.

"What happened?" I hear Harry say. _Harry._ The bed mattress sinks and I know he's sitting next to me. "Mr.Potter, grab her hand for me."

Harry intertwines our hands. The pain slowly subsides and the tightness around my throat loosens. "Ms.Potter, squeeze Harry's hands if you can hear me." I hear once more. With every strength I have, I do. "She's done it," Harry says.

"Alright," Professor Snape says. "Everyone out!" I hear footsteps walking away and then a door slam.

"Do you know what's wrong with her?" Harry asks Professor Snape. "No, not precisely but I have a theory. Harry, close your eyes and place a hand on her chest where the scar is."

"Why?"

"Just do it and talk about moments of happiness."

I feel Harry's hand on my chest and his voice begin to say, "(y/n), I don't know if you can hear me but remember when we first met Hagrid on our 11th birthday. You were scared saying a giant was here to eat us but then he pulled out a cake he had sat on for the both of us and started talking about Hogwarts. I remember you grabbing my arm in excitement..."

Memories flow through my brain of the time he's speaking of. I could feel the pain slowly leaving and it was finally getting easier to breathe. The anger that I forgot I was feeling slowly fading away. I still couldn't open my eyes, they were squeezed shut but I managed to squeeze Harry's hand.

"and while Hagrid was telling about Hogwarts, Dudley decided it best to sneak off in the corner and demolish our birthday cake. You whispered pig and Hagrid smiled and made Dudley grow a tail. You laughed. Harder than you ever have. I think that was the first time I ever heard you laugh. Uncle Vernin and Aunt Petunia were screaming and crying for Dudley. You were astonished by magic and couldn't wait to learn."

Pain leaving, squeezing loosen, and anger subsiding. I managed to open my eyes and look up at Harry, inhaling a deep breath. I could feel the color coming back to my face.

"There you are little sister," he raises his hand from my chest and pushes back my hair. "Breathe." I do as I'm told. I manage to turn my head to Professor Snape. "Thank you," I croak out. He nods and turns to leave.

"How did you know that would work?" Harry asked before he could walk away. Snape turns back around. "I didn't. It was a theory."

"Do you know what's wrong with her?" He shakes his head, "No Mr.Potter but it seems to only occur when she's angry or upset. I suggest you stay here with her till the morning. Observe her over night. I will talk to Dumbledore about being excused from your lessons."

Harry nods his head and Snape leaves.

"Harry," I croak out, my voice still low and feeling like pins and needles. He looks at me and raises an eyebrow. "What's wrong with me?" He sighs and shakes his head, "I don't know but we'll figure this out soon. I promise. Now come on, you need rest." He lets go of my hand and walks over to my side of the bed.

Slowly lifting my bottom half of my body, he pulls back the comforter and sets me back down. I was weak and I hated it. I couldn't do anything, I was so tired. Sleep sounded very good right now.

He takes off both our glasses and sets them on the nightstand. Then, comes back around and climbs into my bed, laying on his side facing me. He places one hand under his head and one on my arm rubbing it back and forth. "Close your eyes and sleep, I'll stay awake for a bit to make sure you're okay."

I nod slowly and shut my eyes.

 _I'm never going to hurt someone like you wish._ I tell the voice.

It laughs. **_We'll see about that._**

_Why won't you just accept it and kill me?_

**_What's the fun in that? Besides, you'll give in. Trust me._ **

***

I woke up before Harry the next morning, my head throbbing. I laid in my bed, looking up at the ceiling and began thinking. Do I tell Harry about the voice in my head? Do I tell him about what it wants me to do? Or do I stay silent?

And what does the snake want? Why does it want me to hurt Draco? Or is Draco just the first of many.

I hear a groan next to me to see Harry stir in his sleep before squinting his eyes open and rubbing it with the back of his hands. He opens his eyes and looks at me. "Good morning," he says sleepily. "Good morning," I say back, my voice softer but feeling better than yesterday.

After a couple more minutes in bed, we both begin getting ready. I took a shower in the bathroom and dressed in my uniform, Harry standing outside to give me privacy. We haven't talked about last night or what had happened. Even if he asked, I don't know what I would tell him.

My body was still drained, feeling weak. Walking into the hallway, Harry stays close in case I lose balance. My walking is slower than usual.

"All student organizations are henceforth disbanded," Professor Umbridge says on the intercom as we walk to the Great Hall. "Any student in noncompliance will be expelled."

I roll my eyes, "Harry, that means we have to be extra careful with training." He nods, "I know but I don't want you training too much. We still don't know what's going on with you and I don't want you getting hurt." I nod and look away.

I wasn't scared of getting hurt, I was scared of hurting someone else. I, myself, didn't want to train among others. What if I get angry or upset somehow and lash out. What if I can't control myself. I would go to Snape tonight, I needed answers. He was the only one who could give me any answer.

Walking to the Great Hall, I see Hermione charging toward me, engulfing me in a hug. I groan but hug her back. "Thank goodness you're okay," she says. "Hermione, don't squeeze her too tight," I hear Ron say, who hugs me afterwards.

"I'm okay, really," I say, trying to sound convincing. Sitting at the Gryffindor table, Hermione fills me a plate of fruits. "Eat, you'll need your strength."I do as I'm told.

"Guys!" we hear someone yell after a few moments of breakfast. Running to the table, he stops to catch his breath. "You need to see something." I look at everyone in confusion but they just shrug their shoulders.

Ron, Harry, Hermione, Fred, George, and I follow Neville out of the hall. We walk fast through the hallways of Hogwarts until we reach double doors of black that I have never seen. How have I missed these? I've walked through this hallway more times than I could count. Neville opens the door and we step inside.

It was a big dark empty room. Only the light through the windows shining through and a fireplace straight ahead.

"You've done it, Neville. You found the Room of Requirement," exclaims Hermione. "The what?"

"It's also known as the Come and Go Room," she answers. "The Room of Requirement only appears when a person has a real need for it. And it's always equipped for the seeker's needs."

"So say you really needed the toilet..." Ron suggests. I laugh slightly before Hermione answers once again.

"Charming, Ronald. But, yes, that is the general idea."

"It's brilliant. It's like Hogwarts wants us to fight back," Harry speaks. I nod, "Well, we better start getting the word out then. The sooner we begin, the more time we have to train." Fred looks at me, "Are you sure you're alright to train, (y/N)?"

"Yea, we heard you were in so much pain yesterday. What happened?" finishes George. I shrug, "I don't know exactly but I'll figure it out soon."

***

The day goes by and I have talked with Isabella about yesterday. She threatens to beat up Draco if it was him who had hurt me but I assured her it wasn't. Slytherins have come up to me asking if I was okay or if I needed anything and I thanked them and told them if I did, I would let them know. Molly from Ravenclaw found me after one of her lessons and gave me some baked goods her mother had sent her as a get well soon gift.

Hannah and Ernie , Prefect boy and girl of the Hufflepuff house, checked up on me and told me not to worry about the house event too much. Draco had told him earlier that I had agreed to the idea of our two houses coming together. Ernie said we would hold the event at the Hufflepuff common room and to rest.

After Ernie walked away, Hannah had sat me down and asked me what happened. I met Hannah through Cedric two years ago. She was a good friend of his and she was one of the few that had believed me about Voldemort. She sat with me in between one of her lessons and made sure I was alright before leaving.

And now here we are, I was excused from classes today and while everyone was in class, I decided I would go to my secret place to think and get away. Sitting here, under the tree, I felt a little better. No one was pestering me about what happened or if Draco had something to do with it. I didn't even know how to answer that question. It was a yes and a no.

Sure when he was about to ask if I was jealous of Pansy, it made me upset and a little angry but my anger was so strong. I don't know why I got so angry. Lately it's like one small thing could make me burst out in anger and I couldn't control it. I decided to shut my eyes and rest for just a few, escaping all thoughts.

***

_I woke up groaning, my back against the tree. Opening my eyes, I felt cold. Really cold. Sure it was snowing but this was like I was in a freezer. I gasped taking in my surroundings. The sky was dark, only the moon's light shining through._

_I heard howls in the night. Howls? At Hogwarts. I stand up slowly looking all around me and wrapping my hands around my body. I didn't realize I've been sleeping for so long. Making my way back to Hogwarts, I was careful. Making sure I wouldn't trip. Taking in my surroundings. I grab the wand from my boot._

_"Lumos," I whisper but my wand doesn't light up. "Lumos," I state again. Nothing. "Bloody hell." I continue walking down the path_ _back to_ _Hogwarts_ _._

**_(y/n)._ **

_I startle at the sound of my name and look around myself seeing nothing. I probably just imagined it._

**_(y/n)._ **

_I hear again and this time call out. "Hello?" No answer. "Is anyone there?"_

**_Right here darling._ **

_I look to my right to see a snake slithering on the snowy cold ground and scream. Snakes creep me the hell out now. I run down the path but soon trip over something. I groan and look up to see it was a snake's body._

_I start crying out of fear and stand. So many snakes. Snakes of all sizes and all colors fill the ground. I sob as I back into a tree. "Harry!" I scream. "Harry help me!"_

**_He can't hear you._ ** _The snake laughs. The same snake from before slithers my way and raises its head to my height._

**_No one can._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves! Hope you loved this chapter. Kinda curious what you think the voice in her head is. Comment any thoughts? 
> 
> Don't forget to kudos please!
> 
> Love xxx


	10. Chapter 10

**TW: Panic attack ahead**

I scream as I open my eyes. Looking around me frantically to see there were no snakes and it was just a dream.

I decided now was the best time to go to Snape. I stand up quickly and walk back to Hogwarts. All my thoughts were all over the place. I needed someone's help to find out what was wrong and I needed to find out quickly.

Maybe everyone was right. Maybe I was going insane but why was this happening to me? I was scared. Very scared of this voice inside my head.

I was afraid of what it would make me do. To Harry. To Ron. Hermione. Isabella. Hell, even Draco. He was the one I continuously wanted to hurt. But I couldn't help myself. He made me angry. Even if it was the littlest statements or insults, my anger would grow quickly.

Back before we started our little agreements, his insults didn't hurt me. But after our argument, it started to stung. But now, it made me furious. Was it just this _thing_ inside of me? It had to be. It made my anger increase drastically.

Thinking back on my argument with Harry earlier, I didn't recognize myself. I could see it in Harry's eyes too. Don't get me wrong, we argue. But never once had I ever stated Hogwarts wasn't my home because it was. But I don't know why I said that. It came from a place of anger.

But how do I avoid getting angry? I can't. This situation with Voldemort makes me furious just thinking about it. He wants to hurt my family. He wants to hurt me. He wants to destroy everything that makes me happy.

And what of the battle? Surely I wouldn't fight happily. Would I get so angry that I turn on Harry? I needed to get control of whatever this was and quickly.

"(Y/N)!" I hear a voice shout. I stop in my tracks and see Isabella. "Where have you been?" I sigh. "Just walking the grounds."

She looks at me with a weird expression. "What?" I ask. She grabs me and pulls me off to the side. "Are you alright? You look terrified." I shake my head. "I'm fine. I just need to go see Snape."

"(y/n), you can talk to me," she says. I nod. "I know Bella but really I just have to go see Snape." She nods in understanding, "Okay but Snape isn't in his office at the moment."

I look at her confused. "What? Where is he?"

"Meeting with Dumbledore, I think."

I sigh, looking around. My head begins to spin. My hands begin to sweat. The air hitches in my throat. I feel like I'm suffocating. I felt the blood pounding in my ears. I had to leave the hallway. I had to go back to my room.

I felt like everyone was staring at me. Whispering that I was going insane. I felt like I was. There's too much going on. I feel a sharp pain in my chest and my mouth becoming dry.

"Hey," Isabella says with care, grabbing a hold of both my shoulders. I look anywhere but her. "Come on."

She grabs my hand and begins pulling me away. I couldn't see clearly. My vision was hazy with tears and I couldn't see.

_I can't see. I can't breathe. What's going on?_

I didn't know where we were going but we were walking fast. I heard people's chatter but couldn't make out what she was saying. We finally enter a room, my room, and I sit on the bed. Placing my head in my hands.

I feel the bed sink next to me and Isabella's arms wrapped around mine. I sink into her arms and cry. Still feeling pain in my chest and sweat everywhere.

"Breathe," she says in a soft voice and rubs her hands on my back. "Breath (y/n)."

I place my head in her lap and cry. Something was wrong with me and I didn't know what or what to do to fix it. Do I tell her? She's going to think I'm insane. They all are. They have already begun thinking about what's to stop them from confirming it.

What if I was an evil twin? What if this part of me awoken because Voldemort neared and my fate was going against Harry? Being the evil twin. 

I wanted my mum. I wanted my dad. I wanted the parental love and support. I wished to hear my mum's voice telling me it was going to be okay. I wanted to lay my head in my mum's lap instead of Bella's. As much as I love Bella, I needed mum.

I closed my hairs and tried to envision what it would be like if she was here. Using the picture that Sirius showed us, I imagined her face. I imagined it was her I was laying on. Telling me it was going to be okay. That whatever was going on with me, we would fix. I imagined my dad kneeling in front of me, pushing my hair back and whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

Everything was going to be okay, it had to be.

***

I don't remember when or how I feel asleep. But I woke up in my bed, under the covers. Isabella was nowhere to be seen.

My head throbbed and my chest felt like needles. I knew I had a panic attack. I haven't had one since two months following Cedric's death. I don't know what caused it but I felt like I was dying.

Sitting up, I groaned. My body hurt, probably from the weird position I was in when laying in Bella's lap. I look to my bedside table where I see my glasses placed next to a water cup and a note. I reached over and picked up the note.

**I'm sorry for leaving you. I had to go back to class. I'll come check on you afterwards and bring you chocolate. I placed a water glass near your nightstand. Please drink it. Send for me if you need to.**

**-Bella**

I smile at the note and set it down, picking up the water. It felt like needles down my throat but I welcomed the coldness of it. I needed it. Sighing, I got out of bed. I should see if Snape is back.

Looking down, I see my robe was off and my shirt as well. I was only in a bra and a skirt. I probably took off my uniform or Isabella did. She knew what to do when I had panic attacks seeing as we both had them when we were together. Whichever one of us it was, I was thankful. My body was burning up despite the cold weather.

But now, I was freezing. My warmth had gone the moment I left the covers. I walked to my closet and picked out a green jumper, placing it atop my head. I didn't have to be in uniform seeing as I was just going to Professor Snape's office and back to bed. Even if I was going to dinner, I was excused from classes. It didn't matter.

After grabbing my glasses and placing on my boots, I opened the door. I would go to the washroom first to check my appearance. I looked around and made sure no one was around before walking into the Prefect washroom.

My face looked terrible. Bags under my eyes were worse than normal. My face looked more pale. I definitely looked like I was either sick or dying. I turn the faucet on and splash water on my face. Placing my hands on either side of the counter.

 _You're okay._ I tell myself but do I really believe it?

I walk out of the washroom and bump into someone. They grabbed my arm before I fell backwards.

"Geez Potter, watch where you're going," I look up to see Draco. "Sorry," I mumble and try to walk past. "Wait Potter. Are you alright?"

I laugh. "Draco, don't act like you care." He laughs back, "I don't darling. But you look like hell." With no response, I shake my head and begin to walk away.

"Wait, come one. Seriously. You look like you're about to pass out," he says walking up to me and grabbing my arm. I take it back. "Draco, I really don't feel good. And you never make it better, just **leave me alone**."

The last part came out with a voice I didn't recognize. I gasp and step back. _Calm down. Don't get angry. There's nothing to be angry about. He's trying to help._

"Why are you being like this? I'm trying to help you for once," he says stepping forward. "I don't need your help Draco," I yell, louder than intended. "You know, ever since Cedric's death you've been going insane. What was it, (y/n)? Cedric rejected you so you killed him? Or was it he found out something you didn't want him to find out and now the truth is going to come out..."

"Shut up Malfoy," I interrupt but he keeps pushing.

"Or is it, he did get into your pants but you realized he could never do you better than I could. Did it make you angry? Did he not satisfy your needs? Are you mad..."

"I said **Shut up** ," I screamed and pushed him. Harder than intended to the point where he flew a little ways and landed on the floor, hitting the sofa with his side. I gasp and place a hand over my mouth. Walking back, I feel the table.

**_Well...well... little Potter has it in her._ **

_What... why._

**_You grew angry. I knew you had it in you._ **

"Oh my god, Draco," I say running over to him. He was groaning in pain. "Draco, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me." I try reaching out to him but he backs away, frightened.

"Get away from me," he says. "You're going insane and whatever it is, you need help." I stand quickly and back away. "I'm sorry," I say softly. He shakes his head, "No, I don't want your sorry's just leave. Leave before I call Umbridge."

I run out of the room and make my way towards Snape's quickly. I knock on the door. But not just once, it was repeatedly. "Professor Snape!" I call out. I stop knocking and he finally opens the door. "Ms.Potter, what-"

"Can I come in? Please," I interrupt. He eyes me up and down, then nods. I stormed past him without another word, sitting back on the chair I did last time and brought my knees to my chest. "I lied."

He nods, "I know." I shoot my head up, "You know?"

"Ms.Potter, I had my thoughts but you're meltdown in your room with Mr.Malfoy confirmed it. You have been hearing voices." I sank my head on my arms which were placed on top of my knees. "That's where you have something wrong. One voice. I hear one voice, it's a snake's voice. What's wrong with me?"

He goes around his desk and takes a seat. "I do not know truthfully but I don't think you're going insane." I stay quiet. "Ms.Potter, if you wish, I could help you figure out whatever this is but you must trust me." I look at him and wait a few moments before nodding.

"You're the only one that knows. And I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Hurt anyone?"

I nod. "The voice. It only appears when I'm angry or upset. And even when it's something ridiculous to be angry about, this _thing_ intensifies the anger. The smallest things could set me off. And every time, it tells me to hurt the object of my anger. Mostly Draco because he always pushes my buttons."

He hums and says, "Have you hurt Mr.Malfoy since the tree incident?" I nod, "Just now in the common room. I had a panic attack earlier when I heard you weren't here. And somehow, I fell asleep. When I woke, I wanted to come straight here. But I ran into Draco outside the washroom. He tried to help in a way. Asking me if I was okay, but so many things were going on in my head. I just wanted to come here then he started saying the most ridiculous things. And I pushed him. Hard. He went flying and hit the sofa then landed on the ground."

He nods in understanding and doesn't talk for a few moments. "Ms.Potter, before we can for sure say what is going on with you, you need to learn to control your anger. Do you understand?" I nod. "Good, now go to Dinner while I stay here and do some research."

I nod again, standing. "Thank you Professor Snape."

***

As I walk out of the Slytherin house, I see Harry waiting for me. "Harry," I say startled. "You know standing next to the doorway instead of across from is a sure way to scare someone."

"Sorry," he says when we start walking. "I waited here to see how you were doing. Isabella mentioned your panic attack." I smile at my brother, "I'm fine. Everything was just too much. I think..."

"(y/n), you know you can tell me anything right?" I look at him and see that his face is full of worry. I grab his hand in reassurance, "Maybe later. I don't feel like talking about it right now." He nods and squeezes my hand. "Have you eaten?"

I shake my head and his response is just a nod as we enter the Great Hall. "Gryffindor table or Slytherin today?" he asks. I point my head to the direction of Slytherin. "I think I'll sit over there today. I haven't been sitting there for a while." He nods in understanding and hugs me goodbye. I wave to Hermione and Ron as they settle in.

Getting to the Slytherin table, I sit next to Blaise while I wait for Bella. "Well, well. Will you look who it is?" he laughs. "Where have you been?" I wave my hands in the air. "Around. I had a headache so I walked the grounds."

We go into a conversation about the most random topics, mostly him talking and I listen until Bella arrives. She greets me as she sits down and asks if I'm alright which I tell her I am.

I fill my plate with some rice and chicken as soon as dinner appears. As well as some broccoli and asparagus. Bella looks over and hums in satisfaction, not applying anything on my plate. I eat in silence as the group around me chatters. Looking to my right, I see Draco eyeing me as I eat. Not saying anything, just...glaring.

I don't make eye contact. I still feel horrible about what happened earlier but I don't know what to say to him. Pansy was whispering something in his ear but I don't think he was really paying any attention to her. She grunted and turned away from him speaking to another boy in Slytherin.

I hoped Draco wouldn't say anything to Umbridge but I understood if he did. I had hurt him and I deserved to be punished again. A part of me wonders why he hasn't yet. Maybe he was going to blackmail me or show everyone I was truly going insane.

After dinner, dessert shows up and Bella urges me to eat a slice of chocolate cake though I was full. Apparently after she has panic attacks, she loves eating chocolate. I choose to make her happy and do so. Draco's stare coming and going. Something inside me was getting irritated.

I tried taking deep breaths to calm myself down. But it was only growing the irritation in me. Without thinking twice, I lash out. "Is there something on my face, Malfoy?" He looks at me with his jaw clenched. "No, just waiting to see if you lash out again like earlier," he says with a smirk.

My body freezes. Of course he wouldn't keep quiet. "What happened earlier?" Pansy jumps in. "None of your business," I sneer back. Draco laughs. "Potter here admitted something earlier and lashed out at me."

I shook my head. "What? I didn't admit anything. What are you going on about?" He looks back at Crabbe and Doyle? "Darling, it's alright. I knew you were fascinated by me. Everyone is."

Everyone around us laughs. _Are you being serious? That didn't happen and he knows it._ I stand from my seat and begin to storm away but stop in my path. Turning around, I march right up to Malfoy.

"You know Draco," I start, grabbing a grape from his plate and popping it in my mouth. "I'll admit. You're fun to tease and mess with. But if you think I would ever climb into your bed, you've got me all wrong _darling._ "

He looks at me with anger but I continue. "You see Draco, you really need to stop putting yourself on such a high pedestal. Really, it's making you ugly. Try being a person for a change, maybe then someone will begin to like you." I hear a growl like sound coming from Pansy and I look at her.

"Oh," I say placing my hand on my mouth then removing it. "I forgot. You two are dating. So sorry, my mistake. It's quite hard to remember when your boyfriend here..." A nod in Draco's direction. "Is quite obsessed with me. Might want to have a chat, Pansy. I would say you could do better but you two deserve each other."

With that I begin to walk away but stop once again, turning around. "Oh and Pansy, if I hear from my friends over at Hufflepuff that you're treating one of them horribly. I will not hesitate state to use my obligations as a Prefect to take away Slytherin point houses. I'm sure everyone here would not want that."

Everyone groans and glares at Pansy. She looks irritated. I just shrug my shoulders, turn around, walk away. Bella squeals as she meets up with me and loops her arms with mine.

"There's my girl," she says leaning it to place her head on my shoulder as we walk back to the common room.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello!
> 
> Hope you all loved this chapter, please leave your comments!
> 
> Don't forget to kudos and comment!
> 
> Also I have decided, this fanfic will be updated mostly on tues/thurs. And then weekends if I'm lucky enough to have time. And maybe some bonus chapters if my university doesn't have too much due that week.
> 
> Love xxx


	11. Chapter 11

The next day, I woke up before everyone in the Slytherin house and I think everyone at school. There wasn't a particular reason. My body just decided it had enough rest. I decided to grab an old book from the drawer of the nightstand and go out in the common room.

I was wearing a pair of large grey sweats that had once belonged to Cedric long before he passed. He gave them to me one winter while I was cold and only wearing a skirt. Telling me I should keep it to sleep with. With it, I was wearing a light pink jumper. My hair was in a messy bun. I put on slippers, grabbed my book and wand, and headed to the common room.

Looking around the common room, I saw no one inside and I was thankful. I sat in one of the sofas, knees up to my chest, and opened the old book. _1984._ I'll admit, it's not my favorite but it was one of Cedric's and I needed something to remind me of him right now. I missed him. Missed his smile. His touch.

Cedric and I never dated, no. But we could've. If I wasn't hung over on Draco at the time.

After about 30 mins of reading, I closed the book and set it on the small table in front of me and curled up on the couch. I wonder what Hogwarts would be like if I managed to keep Cedric alive. Would we be together? Would Draco tease us endlessly like he once did? Would he be jealous? Would Cedric and I have more "our spot" dates?

I think about what he said to me in his dying breath.

_"(y/n). Please" He cuts me off. I look into his eyes. He knows he's not going to make it and my words were just lies. I nod, "Fine and the second?" He takes a sharp inhale, "The second is that you will learn that you deserved to be loved... I know you think you're not capable of it. And that life won't let you. But you deserve it out of everyone I've ever met. Stop pushing people away. I know you think that it protects us but it doesn't. It hurts me to see you in pain. I need you to let go. Live. Live your life how you want it. Not how you are told to. I need you to be (y/n)."_

I think it was regarding our last normal conversation. It was the day after the Yule Ball, Cedric waited for me outside the Slytherin house and pulled me to a corner to talk. He told me he liked me and wanted to make me his girlfriend but as much as I wanted to, I refused. I thought it was best for him.

But what did he mean? I was loved. By Hermione, Bella, Harry, Ron and countless others. I think I'm capable of it...

_Oh don't be stupid... you know exactly what he meant._

I did. He meant love in the way that makes your heart race and hands clammy. But was I? I was a Potter twin. If anything, I would put them in so much danger. Why love someone when I would just get them killed in the end? Why put myself through it? Their parents? Loving me wasn't worth it. I'd rather die alone than watch the love of my life die in front of me.

I suffered a fraction watching Cedric. I wasn't in love with him, no. But I did like him a lot and love him as a friend...bestfriend... and he died in my arms. Because of me. Because of who I was. Cedric didn't know what he was talking about.

I sniffle a bit, wiping the tears from my eyes and the minimal snot with the back of my sleeve.

"Potter?" I hear a male voice coming from behind, an obnoxious voice I know to who exactly it belongs. He circles around the sofa and I avert his gaze. "Why are you in here? Sun hasn't even begun to rise yet." I ignore him and lean my head back against the sofa.

He sighs and reaches down to grab my book. "1984? Not a book I would've picked but..."

"It was Cedric's," I say quietly. He throws the book back on the table and sits on the sofa across from me. I was waiting for snarky Draco but he hasn't shown up yet. He didn't say anything so I closed my eyes.

He didn't talk for a few moments before he said, "You never answered my question. Why are you in here?" I opened one of my eyes. "My body just woke up and I decided to come in here. Why are you awake?"

He shrugs, "Couldn't sleep." Another silence. "So Cedric? Is that who those sweats that obviously are too big for you belong to?" I let out a sigh.

"Draco, please not today. Can we go one day without getting into a fight?" He chuckles. "Who said we're fighting?" I shake my head, "We always end up fighting."

He examines me, looking me up and down. Probably seeing how tired I was, drained really. "Did you ever sleep with him?" he asks softly. I look at me with a confused expression, "What?"

"Cedric? Did you ever sleep with him?" I scoff, "So what if I did Malfoy? Do you care?" He clenches his jaw, "No I don't. Never mind then."

I let a couple minutes go by before I let out a sigh. "No," I say softly. His head shoots to look me in the eyes. "No, I never slept with Cedric."

He tilts his head in curiously, "Why not?" I shrug. "Is it cause he didn't want you?" I look at him and squint my eyes, saying a little too loudly,"Seriously Draco! Honestly. You're unbelievable. Do you think no one is attracted to me? You know what you stay here, I'll go to my bed."

I stand to leave but he stands quickly and grabs a hold of my arm. I look up at him. His body is slightly taller than mine. "Draco, let me be," I whisper. 

"No, you stay here. I'll go back to my room," he says back. Without looking at me, he lets go of my arm and walks back towards his room. "Draco," I say and he turns around. "Why do you care so much if Cedric and I slept together?" He doesn't answer and begins to walk away. 

Against every fiber in my Body, I go after him, needing him to answer a question long ago but never receiving an answer to. I grab his arm this time and he turns around. "What do you want Potter?" 

"Do you regret it?" He looks at me with his eyes squinted. "Regret what?" 

I shrug, "Sleeping together? Continuously sleeping together." He grabs my hand that was on his arm and pushes it away in disgust before looking me dead in the eyes and saying, "Yes, I do." I didn't have time to answer before he walked to his room and closed the door behind him. 

I stayed in my spot frozen. I shouldn't have been this shocked. I knew the answer inside me for a while now. Since our fight, and he refused to answer. But never did I think, I would hear those words aloud. I asked for it and now I had to suffer the sharp pain I felt. 

I can lie to everyone else that it didn't affect me but it did. A whole year meant nothing. I lost my innocence to him. My first kiss. Everything, gone. And he regretted it. I should've known. Never get in bed with the enemy. Especially a Malfoy. But I did. 

And it was my own fault.

***

I walked towards the Gryffindor House entrance. Everyone was just starting to wake up and I decided I would wait for Harry, Hermione, and Ron for breakfast. We still needed to discuss the meeting.

Draco's three words were still wrapped inside my head and were affecting me more than usual. I wish it wasn't but like I said earlier, I lost everything to him. He was also one of the reasons why I said no to dating Cedric but I would never tell him that. I wasn't ready to admit it myself. Cedric claimed he was the reason but I'm still trying to figure it out. 

I hear Ron's laughter coming closer to the doorway and fidget with the sleeve of my robe. "Oh," he exclaims. "Potter, what a change." I laugh softly. "Hi Ron." He motions his head towards the Great Hall, "Coming for breakfast with us?" I nod. "When do you stop thinking about food Ron?" Hermione laughs.

Harry sees me and hugs me quickly. Then, wraps his arm around my shoulder as we walk to the great hall. "Are you alright?" he asks silently. I look up at him and tilt my head. "I'm fine. Why?" He shrugs, "You look like you've been crying. We're twins. I feel things." I looked at him with a weird look and we both burst into laughter.

Ron turns around and cocks his head to the right, "What's so funny?' Harry and I answer, "Nothing", at the same time. When I calm down, I cough slightly and look at Harry. "I just was reading a book earlier. One Cedric gave me and started missing him." He nods in understanding, bringing me closer. "We all do. Come on, I want you to sit with us. We need to discuss the meeting."

After settling down in our seats, we first fill our plates. I grabbed some eggs, toast, and avocado along with some seasoning to make some avocado toast with eggs. Just as I made it, Ron began making little eye contact so I gave mine to him and proceeded to make myself another one after making one for Harry and Hermione.

We sat in silence for a few eating before Neville arrived. "Everyone's ready to go," he says as he sits. "When is the first meeting?" I ask. Harry looks at me. "Today if you're up for it." I nod. "The sooner the better."

"What should the first lesson be?" Hermione asks. I think for a bit before saying, "Expelliarmus. It's the most basic defense spell and I think everyone should know it. If you can't beat your enemies, be able to disarm them." Ron nods, "Good idea. Neville, get the word out mate."

He nods and as soon as we finish breakfast, leaves to gather everyone.

*** 

Later that afternoon, we all were in the Room of Requirement. Everyone is ready to begin their training. Small chatter filled the room.

Hermione, Ron, Harry, Bella, and I were in the front. I stop forward and clear my throat. "Excuse me everyone," I say aloud. They all stop their conversations and turn to me. I look back at the group and Bella smiles.

Turning back to the group, I begin a small speech. "Umm... First and foremost, I would like to thank everyone for coming under these unusual circumstances. I would also like to thank you all for willingly putting your life on the lines for the future of Hogwarts. I know that going up against the Dark..."

"Voldemort," someone interrupts. "If we're going to battle against, we should at least be able to say his name aloud."

I nod and smile. "Voldemort... I know that going up against Voldemort will not be easy and it may even kill us all but I believe in the end, it will be worth it. But I understand if some of you change your mind. But please if you do, do not give us away. Let us remain a secret. Do you all understand?"

One by one they begin nodding and saying "yes". Harry steps forward and places an arm on my shoulder. "Very well then, today we will be learning Expelliarmus, otherwise known as the disarming charm. We have this enchanted statue that will raise it's wand and you must disarm it. Everyone gets in two straight lines."

They begin forming the lines, Harry in front next to Neville. I stand behind Hermione and Ron, next to Bella. The enchanted statue is in front of Harry. Neville looks back at all of us nervously and we all nod in encouragement.

"Expelliarmus!" he exclaims as the statue raises his wand but it flies backwards and we all duck. Looking back, it stuck on the wall. "I'm hopeless."

You're just flourishing your wand too much. Try it like this," Harry states. "Expelliarmus." With the flick of his wand, the wand of the statue flies away.

Neville stares at Harry in astonishment as I go to place the wand back in the statue's hand. He tries again but fails to succeed. "It's alright Neville, try another day. Just keep practicing," I say. He nods in response.

Everyone continuously goes one by one. Some succeeding, some failing. I haven't gone yet. I've been busy talking to some who fail trying to help them and telling them to disarm me. After a couple tries, some succeed.

Bella has been having fun messing around with Fred and George, using the disarming charm secretly at people. I've scolded her a couple of times but she just blows me a kiss and continues her shenanigans.

"(y/n)!" Harry calls out and I turn to look at him. "Come on, your turn. Haven't done one yet." I nod and make my way over to my brother. I stand in front of the enchanting statue and plant my feet on the ground. The right side of my body slightly tilted towards it. I place my wand in my right hand and point my wand at the statue. "Expelliarmus," I say as I flick the want.

_Nothing._

Harry looks at me confused. I've done this before, why didn't it work. "It's alright," Hermione says, "Try again."

I nod and look back at the statue, this time taking a deep breath. I close my eyes and imagine the magic in my body flowing through to the wand. Opening my eyes, I felt different. " **Expelliarmus**!"

The wand goes flying across the room and the statue actually moves back as if I've shoved it. I felt a wave of magic flow through me and stepped back as well. I begin heavy breathing and look to where the wand landed.

On the ground...in pieces?

Fred looks by his feet where the land was, "Well, you did it." George laughs, "And broke the wand in the process."

Everyone looks at me and I was baffled at what I just did. Ron just begins laughing, "Well I know who I'm going to use as my personal weapon. Did you see what she just did, Harry? That was amazing!" I look at the wand again and just laugh.

"Well, I got it down?" I shrug confused where this energy came from. Everyone joins in. Harry laughs as he walks to me, "Well everyone, now that our trial wand is shattered and the poor statue here has been through enough, go get some dinner. Great work."

Everyone begins small talking and walking towards the secret exit. The group and I follow them being the last ones to leave.

"Did you see that?" Isabella squeals. "My best friend is totally going to beat some ass out on the battlefield." Hermione nods, "How did you do that?"

I shrug, "I don't know."

***

Two days later, I woke up really energized. I was just happy. Very happy. So many things were going well. The next meeting was going to be tonight after lunch and I was ready for it.

Next week was going to be the house party with Hufflepuffs. Everyone was excited and I was too. I still had to talk to Draco about the rules and if he told our head of house, Professor Snape, since it was his job to do so.

Draco and I haven't talked since the day he told me he regretted sleeping with me and I was okay with it. I had time to process. It still hurt me, I'm not going to lie but it happened. I couldn't take it back if I wanted too and it was fine.

I was finishing putting on my shoes when I heard a banging on my door. "Isabella, I'm coming!" More banging. "Isabella!" More banging. I groaned and marched to the door.

"Isabella, I told you I was-" I stopped as I saw exactly who it was. He didn't say anything but he just stormed in. "Well come on in Mr.Malfoy," I say mockingly.

"What the hell did you say?" He asked angrily. I looked at him confused, "What?" He steps closer. "You heard me Potter, I said what the hell did you say? Who did you tell?"

"Who did I tell about what, Draco?" I ask with my hands going in the air. He balls his hands into fists and yells. "Us! About us sleeping together?" I look back to the door. It was closed and stormed up to Draco.

"Would you keep quiet? No one. I've told no one. No one knows," I whisper. He looks at me in the eyes, "I have a hard time believing that. Crabbe told me he knows. Goyle too."

I shake my head, "I didn't tell them Draco. I swear. Who did you tell?" He scoffs and points to himself, "Me? No one. You know (y/n), just because you got upset I regretted sleeping with you doesn't mean you can go around telling everyone our secrets!"

"I never told anyone!" I scream. "Why would I tell anyone? And so what if I got upset, Draco?! The boy I lost my innocence too regretted ever taking it. If you didn't want me Draco, you should've told me. I could've saved it. Given it to someone who actually deserved it."

He laughs, "Oh like who? Cedric?" I step back as if he had shot a bullet straight to my heart. Tears begin forming in my eyes and I swallow harshly. Taking a deep breath, I looked Draco in the eyes, tilting my head upwards as he was taller than me.

"Yes Draco," I breathe. "Exactly Cedric. Because he is twice the man you'll ever be." I saw a flicker of hurt flash in Draco's eyes but I walked away before he said anything else, slamming my own door. The females of Slytherin looked at me with sympathy as I stormed off. Isabella followed me as I walked out.

It was good I found out Draco regretted sleeping with me because I did too. But now that I wasn't a virgin, I could sleep with whoever I wanted. Maybe I should, so the last person to touch my body wouldn't have been Draco. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, happy Tuesday! As promised, here is the first chapter for this week. I'm sorry it took so long I was working on the outline of the book and have it all planned out. Hopefully you will all like it.
> 
> To everyone in Uni, good luck on all your midterms
> 
> Much Love


	12. Chapter 12

It's been about a week since the first meeting and since Draco told me he regretted sleeping together. And a couple days since our little...argument... or whatever you want to call it accusing me of telling people about us.

There have been little whispers and people talking since then but I think it was just because they overheard Draco's yelling. Unless, someone had found out. But who? I didn't tell anyone. And Draco didn't... at least I don't think he did. We both had agreed not to tell anyone.

Within the past week, we had one more meeting to which some new people had attended. They swore to secrecy and wanted to learn how to help for the war. Harry and I announced to the group that they were only to tell people if they were positive they knew they would want to join and to be discreet. Never discussing it in the halls or around people who could overhear.

That meeting was stunning and using the spell Stupefy which knocks out your target. It went well. Hermione knocked out Ron and he went flying which was actually pretty funny and everyone succeeded at doing the spell. Then we stayed for a little bit afterwards to do more of the Expelliarmus spell.

But then, something strange happened. Umbridge decided for some strange reason that all students at Hogwarts must "submit to questioning about suspected illicit activities." I knew no one from the meeting had said something and it was probably due to the caretaker of Hogwarts, Argus Filch who would sit outside the door we entered and wait for us to leave. What he didn't know was there was another exit out of the room on the other side of the wall.

And now here we are. I was standing in the line waiting to be questioned with Isabella by my side, leaning against the wall.

"This is so stupid!" she exclaims quietly. "Shh," I say. "There are people around."

"Why Potter?" Draco asks. He was leaning on the wall a little ways behind us with Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy. "Hiding something?"

I laugh, "Nothing that concerns you Malfoy. Isabella and I were talking about some plans I had made." She looks at me with a confused look but I shoot her a look that says _Just go with_ it. She makes an o-shape with her mouth and nods.

"Care to share with everyone what these plans are? Illicit activities, I suppose," he smirks. I smile back at him. "Well Draco, if you must know. I have a date. Care to hear more about it? It may end in activities of which I don't know if you consider illicit or not." He clenches his jaw and looks away.

Pansy shoots him a look and starts angrily talking to him. Something of why he must always comment when I'm around.

Isabella looks at me with wide eyes. "Wait, do you really?" I laugh and shake my head. She lets out a puff and crosses her arms. "Damn, I was really excited to hear the details. "

"Well, I-"

"Ms.Potter!" Umbridge calls out from her doorway. I sigh and wave bye to Isabella as I head up the stairs. "Come in dear." Eww, please don't call me that ever again."

I sit in the chair in front of her desk that she set up for the students she was questioning as she circled around to sit in her chair. She eyed me up and down, smiling. I held on to my bag, wrapping her arms around it.

"So, Ms.Potter, is there anything happening at this school I should know about?" she asks with a squint of her eyes. I stare her down for a few seconds, "Not at all Inquisitor Umbridge." She smiles and giggles.

"Ms.Potter, It seems you and I have gotten off on the wrong foot. I really do care about you and Mr.Potter. It's just this narrative that he-who-shall-not-be-named is back really is getting old isn't it?"

I roll my eyes. "Well, if _Voldemort_ isn't back, how else would you explain Cedric's death? Are you suggesting Harry and I had something to do with it?" She looks taken back. "Heaven's no. It was an accident." I scoff and shake my head.

"Ms.Potter believes as you wish but I will not allow you to spread these lies any longer. If I hear that wretched name from your mouth again, there will be a far worse punishment."

I shake my head and stand up, "No inquisitor. There's no need because if you continue to ignore Harry and I's warnings, everyone will face a worse punishment than a quill burning words into your skin. Because not only will **Voldemort** kill you but he will do it very slowly and make sure you feel every ounce of pain before death takes you away. Do with me what you please. Punish me. Burn me. Silence me. But I will not tolerate you or the ministry getting in my way to get revenge for everything that wretched man caused. I will get my revenge for my parents and Cedric."

Her face was red, fuming with anger. But mine was as well. Inside me something was growing. It felt like fire was igniting. Thinking about the anger, the hatred, the pain, and everything in between Voldemort had caused me to make it so I wanted to seek out Voldemort. Instead of waiting for him to come out but I couldn't, not now.

I didn't give her a chance to answer, marching over to the door and opening it. Walking out, I slammed the door and it closed with a thud. Everyone was looking at me as I stormed down the stairs. I didn't look at anyone, I just made my way out of the room and into the hallway, out the door to go to Cedric and I's spot.

Anger was fuming inside of me and I had to let it out. Somewhere where no one would get hurt.

**_Why hello again._ **

_What do you want? I say with a sneer._

**_Oh, snarky attitude I see. I like this. I like it a lot. Did someone anger you?_ **

_Yes._

It laughs. **_Well, why don't you let me deal with this anger. Show you exactly what I can do. I promise it'll make you feel so much better._**

I don't even think before I agree to whatever it is. But nothing happened. Maybe I was just imagining it... until... until I felt a change. A shift. No, not my body. My mind.

I was still myself but another part. I was more angry. The thoughts in my head grew violent. My emotions were gone. It was like I was hollow and the only emotion I felt was anger and revenge. No happiness. Even Cedric's death didn't bother me. I felt free. Free of thoughts. Free of worry. Free of fear.

I couldn't even feel the weather. It was cold. But I didn't feel cold. I didn't feel anything.

I looked out in front of me and saw a small tree in my path. I smiled and cocked an eyebrow, pointing my wand. " ** _Expulso_**!" The sound that came out of me was much deeper, much darker than who I was. And I would never have used that spell on a tree? It was too large to explode. But I was wrong. The tree exploded to bark. Shattering all over the ground like it was a window made of glass. And I? I laughed.

**_Didn't that feel good?_ **

I nod. _Yes._

**_Well. How about we get rid of one of the things that causes you pain? Might I suggest the marking on the tree._ **

I walked over to the tree Cedric and I once marked and placed my fingers on the mark.

**_You'll feel much better. It'll be one less thing to remind you of him._ **

I nod and look at my wand. " ** _Confringo_** ," I whisper and the tip of my wand shoots a fireball into the tree where the marking is. It burns it, the marks molding to the rest of the tree so it doesn't exist anymore.

Turning around, I don't look back at the old memory. And walk my way back to Hogwarts.

***

As soon as I closed the door, I clutched my chest and bent my knees, feeling a sort of burning pain where the scar was.

It only lasts a couple seconds and I stay doubled over, hand over my scar, and breathe heavily closing my eyes. When I opened my eyes, I looked around my... room?

Wait a minute. _How did I get here? I was in the woods. Wait... No... I was being questioned by Umbridge and then I felt anger in me. And I walked to the woods. I know I did. I remember feeling cold. Then... nothing._

My brain shoots a wave of sharp pain as I try to remember what had happened and I groan. My eyes then shoot wide open and open the door, making my way to the girls dormitories Bella resides in.

"(Y/N)!" She yells as I walk in and wraps her arms around me. "Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you! You ran out of the room so fast I thought- "

Her words blur into my mind. She was safe. Everything was normal. The thing inside my head didn't hurt anyone. It had to relate? Right? All I remember was feeling really angry. And if Bella is okay. The only other person that would get in my way would be...

"Bella...Bella..." I try to cut her off and push her off of me. "Where's Harry?" She looks at me with an eyebrow raised. "Umm in the Gryffindor common house along with Ron and Hermione... Where else would he be? Are you feeling alright? Did you trip in the hallways after you ran out?"

I shake my head and swallow, not wanting to ask about the next person I thought I could hurt. "What about Draco?" She looks at me and laughs. "Draco?" Another laugh. "Draco Malfoy is in his bedroom. Pansy and him went into it 5 minutes ago. Don't want to think about what they're doing."

I immediately regretted asking and felt annoyance in me. I don't know why. Don't know why I bothered asking either. He doesn't care about me so why should I be bothered to care about him?

"Now, come on we have to get ready and I brought matching outfits, well almost matching but I've been dying for a party."

I look at her with a strange look. Now I know she loves parties and socials but this was a little bit too excited for even Bella. Something was making her excited or someone...

"So, umm Bella?" I ask in a small voice as she grabs a bag and walks me to my room. She hums in response. "Why are you so chipper about a Hufflepuff and Slytherin get together?" She opens my door and asks in a slightly high voice, "I don't know what you're talking about."

I laugh loudly. "Bellaaa," I sing her name. She groans and sits on my bed. "Okay, okay. I may have a small...little..date? With a hufflepuff..." I gasp. "Who?" She looks down to the ground, biting her lip. "Asher."

"One of Cedric's bestfriends-Asher?" She nods and giggles. "Stop looking at me like that." I couldn't help but laugh. "I knew something was going on between you two. Ever since Yule Ball. But you..." I pointed at her chest. "Kept pushing away for the poor boy." She laughs. "Oh would you shut it and get dressed please?"

She opens the back to hand me a long sleeve black, short turtle neck blouse shirt with a green plaid skirt that has suspenders attached to them. On the side, the Slytherin logo was ironed on. I looked at her with an eyebrow raised. "What?" she laughs. "My mum made them for us, shut it."

I laugh as I begin to dress. Afterwards, Bella took her curling wand and curled my dark brown hair. Then, proceeded to do hers. As she was doing that, I went to my closet to grab the heels I wore to Yule ball and the earrings as well. The earrings were gold but just the right shade to match the green.

I grabbed the makeup bag Bella gifted me earlier this year as a late birthday gift and opened it up. Grabbing the eyeshadow palette and brushes, I proceeded to create a smoky eye look with shades of green and followed it with a light gold on the inner corner to somehow make sense of my earrings. Lastly, I applied the mascara and some lip gloss.

Bella was done with her hair and makeup, waiting for me on the bed. "And here she is, ladies and gentlemen! My best friend...drumroll please... (y/n) Potter!" she exclaims, raising her hands. I laugh and grab both her hands pulling her up. "Come on you, Asher is waiting."

As we walk to the Hufflepuff common room, I begin laughing out of nowhere. Isabella looks at me with a funny look, "What's so funny?" I shake my head, "We are those _girls_." She looked down at our matching outfits apart from my shoes- and the Prefect pin I placed as I was walking out the door- and laughed. "Well, excuse me for thinking it would be cute."

Isabella was beautiful. Her hazel eyes had a hint of blue inside them. She was a couple inches short being at 5'2 and her hair was a few shades lighter but still brown. She went blonde for the first two years at Hogwarts but last year wanted to go natural. Her golden tone light tan skin contrasted with my more medium shade.

We made our way into the building and the common room. "There they are!" Adrian Pucey exclaims near a table of snacks. I roll my eyes and laugh. Asher was standing next to him and gaucking his eyes at Bella. "I think he likes our outfits..." I sing in a whisper to Bella. She slightly elbows me. "Shut up Potter."

The common room of the Hufflepuds was a basement past the kitchen. The basement itself was round, earth-like, warm, and low ceilinged. Yellow hangings and burnished copper filled the room. Sofas and armchairs in yellow and black were placed. Plants of all sorts decorated the space.

There was a projector set up on a table in the middle of the room pointing to a white sheet playing some sort of movie. Slytherins and Hufflepuffs were either sitting around the room watching or doing something else.

We walk towards the group. And greet everyone, Adrian pulled me in for a hug. We stood with the group talking for a few before making our way walking to the couch in the corner of the room. Bella sat with Asher on an armchair, Asher sitting in the chair and Bella sitting on the arm itself. I sat next to Adrian on the couch, my head on his shoulder and his arm around me.

We were laughing about something stupid Boise-who was sitting on the armchair next to Asher- did over the break from hogwarts when Draco and Pansy finally arrived. His eyes fell straight on me and then to Adrian, I could've sworn his jaw clenched but he grabbed Pansy's hand and made his way to another group. Hannah joined us after a few moments, sitting next to me on the couch but her back towards the arm of the sofa.

"So," she starts and motions her head to Adrian who was busy talking to a boy who walked over to notice. I laugh softly and shrug. "Well, I think yes," she says laughing. Bella comes over and sits in my lap. "I do too."

"So, how are you and Asher doing?" I ask her to change the subject as my face reddens. She giggles saying, "We are doing great. Going on a date sometime in the next week." I wrap my arm around her waist, "I'm happy for you Bella." Hannah nods as an agreement.

An hour passes and I let out a yawn. We all were watching the second christmas film and the lights were dimmed. I feel Adrian's arm lift and I move my head off his shoulders. "I'll be right back," he whispers and I nod.

Surely, in a couple seconds he was, right back to our same position but this time he brought a blanket to cover me. The only difference was this time, his hand was placed on my thigh and intertwined with mine as my other hand held onto his arm.

This felt nice. Nothing was being forced and I felt... happy... More than I have in a while.

But what wasn't making me happy was Draco's glances from across the room every couple of seconds. I wasn't looking over but I could see him from the corner of my eyes. He was sitting on a sofa, Pansy next to him with his arm wrapped around her shoulder. But he looked so far away from her, lost in his own thoughts.

Isabella, across from me to the right a little, was sitting in Asher's lap with a blanket across from them. Her head on his shoulder. They were whispering to each other and I just smiled at my best friend.

I don't remember what time it was or how long we sat watching the movie. But some time in between, I had fallen asleep on Adrian's shoulder.

"(y/n)," I heard his whisper. I humm in response. "Come on darling, time to go to bed." I don't know what it was but I didn't like the fact that he had called me darling. Draco says it as a way of teasing but I kept quiet.

I fluttered my eyes open, Bella was gone. "Asher walked her back to Slytherin," he said quietly. I nodded and stood, too tired to say any words.

We walked back to Slytherin, hand in hand, no words were shared but he made sure to stay close as I was still drained.

He walked me to my room and entered in after me. I fell on top of my bed from the side and I heard him laugh. I felt my shoes being taken off. "Come on Potter, you're gonna freeze overnight and I'm not undressing you like this," he says.

I smile and open one eye to look at him. He was gorgeous and a gentleman. Everything Draco wasn't... well... Draco is hot. Definitely hot. But Adrian was good. He was one of the notable Slytherin quidditch players who has never committed a foul and never has attacked an opposing player outside the game. I could see myself being with him.

I reach my hand out and he takes it. I pull him down onto me and wrap my hands around his neck. He chuckles lightly as it was unexpected. "Thank you," I whisper. He pulls back, elbows near my head, one playing with my curled hair. "For?" he asks, looking me in my eyes.

I shrug, "For giving me a night where it was stress free and filled with happiness." Now, it was his turn to shrug. "You deserve it Potter."

I raise an eyebrow and tilt my hair slightly, "You don't think I'm going insane like everyone else thinks?" He shakes his head. "No but I do think something is going on with you."

I snake my hand to the nape of his neck, playing with the stray hairs and admiring him. Without another second of doubt, I raise my head and bring his down, putting my lips on his. It was slow, gentle, and the complete opposite of how it is with Draco. The only other boy I have ever kissed.

I wanted more. The gentle scene was not what I was used to. I felt his hand come up to cup my cheek and I deepened the kiss. I asked for permission to enter by gliding my tongue across his bottom lip but he denied, pulling away instead.

"You need sleep," was all he said. And he wasn't wrong. I was drained of energy. The kiss gave me a small boost but I wanted to close my eyes.

He left a couple moments later after helping me get into bed, taking off my glasses -I forgot I was even wearing them- and shutting off the lights.

In the darkness, I began thinking of today's events. I couldn't remember some of it. Did it have something to do with the voice? Was I actually going insane?

And Draco? The glares? He shouldn't have been staring at me. He told me himself that he doesn't care, our relationship didn't matter, and he even regretted it.

I shook my head of the thoughts and closed my eyes, letting the darkness take over. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone! I am so sorry about the late update, my history midterm took longer than expected. As a make up there will be 2 uploads tonight, this being the first. 
> 
> I'm so glad midterm week is over. Thank you for being patient. 
> 
> Much love <3


	13. Chapter 13

Walking into the common room the next morning, I felt relaxed and happy. Adrian made me happy. But it was too early, way too early, to see if I liked him or not. But I would be lying if we didn't flirt back and forth during Quidditch practice and during the games themselves.

Isabella was waiting for me sitting on a sofa but the moment I walked in, she jumped up and walked to me. Doing a little dance while she did and she was giggling. I just shook my head at her. "I think the house event with the Hufflepuffs was THE BEST thing I've ever heard of!"

I laugh. "Was it? Or was it cuddling Asher all night long?" She smacks my shoulder, "Oh shut it Ms. I fell asleep on Adrian and then led him to my bedroom." I look at her wide eyed, "Oh no. Please tell me no one thought we were..."

I was cut off when I looked into Bella's eyes as she curled her lip into her mouth and nodded. I groan. "We only kissed and I fell asleep." She laughs as we make our way out to the Great Hall for breakfast.

She was talking about her evening with Asher and how he walked her back to her dorm and details about her upcoming date when we entered the hall but another conversation grabbed my attention.

Pansy was leaning on one arm, which was on the table, facing the entrance trying to talk to a boy. Not just any boy Adrian.He wasn't looking at her, probably didn't even notice she was there. She saw me and smiled devilishly. But failed to do anything when Adrian turned my way and waved his hand, standing up and walking towards Bella and I.

The surprising look on her face was priceless as she grunted and went about her way, taking a seat next to Draco but not before kissing him on the cheek. I could've sworn I saw Draco scrunch his face in disgust and slightly push her away.

"Hey Bella," he nods at Isabella and then turns to me. "(y/n)." We say our hello's as we all walk back to the table. Bella circling it to sit next to Asher who I guess had decided to sit and eat breakfast with the Slytherins. I sat next to Adrian across from them.

I placed some fruits on my plate and began eating when Adrian asked, "Are you still coming to the game today?" I looked at him confused, raising an eyebrow but immediately remembered. I looked down in sadness. The first quidditch match was today and I couldn't play. But regardless, I need to be there to support. My team and Harry. I look up at him and nod. "Yea, I'll be there."

"Sorry you can't play Potter," Captain Graham Montague says, sitting next to Adrian. I shrug, "It's alright. Just win for me will you?" Adrian smiles and wraps his arm around my shoulder, pressing a kiss on the side of my head. "This game is for you," he whispers.

Well that was unexpected. I need to have a talk with Adrian. About...what we are? I don't know. We only kissed... and cuddled all night.

"Who's replacing the keeper?" Bella asks. "I am," Miles Bletchley says from a little ways down. "I just hope I'm as good as (y/n). Hope I won't disappoint you." I laugh. "As long as you block whoever it is they're playing. You won't."

"Well, we are playing against your brother," Graham laughs. "He may be my brother. We may have shared a womb but out there on the field, we are enemies," I laugh back. Everyone in the table joins in.

"Will do Potter..." Miles says. "Will do."

***

"So, I'll see you in a litte?" Adrian asks as he leans against the doorway. He walked me back to my room after our classes for the day. Half of them cancelled for the Quidditch match. I nod and bite my lip.

He smiles and leans in, placing a hand on my waist and kissing me once. I put my hands on his cheeks and just as he pulls away, I bring him in for another. Whatever we were, this was nice. It was new. It made me happy.

  
He chuckles as he lets go and turns to walk away. Closing the door, I giggled. Giggled! Like a schoolgirl.

I walk over to the couch and place my robe on it. Walking to the closet, I open it to pick out my outfit for the match. I grab a pair of leggings and grab a long sleeve olive green shirt. Then I grab my black jacket and black scarf.

Just as I was finished getting dressed and walked over to my nightstand to grab my black mittens, a knock on my door grabbed my attention. I walked over to it and opened the door thinking it was Isabella but saw Draco instead.

I roll my eyes. "Yes Draco?" He looks down to the ground. "Can I come in?" I looked at him confused but couldn't answer since he just stormed into my room. I rolled my eyes once more, shutting the door. When I turned around, I saw him sitting on the trunk in front of my bed.

"Well?" I asked, arms crossed, leaning against the doorway. "How are you feeling?" he asked. I look at him with an eyebrow raised. "I'm okay. Is that why you came in here?" He shrugged. "I know how much you love quidditch and you can't play. Just wanted to make sure you were okay."

This was not Draco. Not now Draco. This was old Draco. Before Cedric. Before the argument. This was the Draco I would spend time with behind closed doors. The gentle Draco.

I just shrug, "It's fine. Is that all? You should go. You know how we like to be early especially with a game against Gryffindor." He nods and stands. I walk forward, allowing him space to leave. But right as I try to walk past him, he grabs my wrist. I look up at him.

"Are you and Adrian together?" he asks not to meet my eye. Truthfully answering I say in a quiet voice, "I don't really know. Would it matter if we were?" He doesn't respond as he walks out of the room. But I think I got my answer when I heard the door slam. Confused, I shake my head and place my mittens on my hands.

***

Isabella and I made our way to the pitch, sitting in the center of the benches. "I invited someone," she says looking around. "Hope you don't mind." I laugh and shake my head. "Asher?" She nods excitedly.

  
Boise was sitting next to me as he said. "A hufflepuff in a sea of Slytherin. Great idea Bells." She glares at him. "Don't call me Bells, you know I hate that," she sneers. "Loved it when I was-"

"Hey Asher," I interrupted before he could finish his statement, elbowing him in the guts. Boise let's put a groan and glares at me, chuckling lightly. He sits next to Bella and greets me. Then giving Boise one of the guy handshakes.

Adrian moved his head around from across the pitch trying to find someone and when his eyes laid upon me, he smiled and waved. I waved back. Harry looked at me and then back at Adrian, laughing. He then turned back and said something to Ron who whipped his head in my direction, crossing his arms as I sank back into my seat.

The band begins to play their music and cheering occurs throughout the pitch. "Here," Boise says, handing me a crown shaped badge. I look at it and see that "Weasley is our King" was etched into them. I looked at Boise with disgust and he was smiling, cheering for our team. Looking over to Isabella, she rolls her eyes as her and Asher are also handed a badge but don't put it on. Despite being Slytherin, this was Ron's first game and he was a good friend, I wasn't going to participate in this awful joke.

We all stood on the stands, cheering and yelling for our house. Just because I wasn't going to take place in this joke did not mean I didn't want Slytherin to pummel Gryffindor to the ground. This is one of those things Harry and I were on opposite teams.

" **Go Slytherin Go! You've got to bring it home!** " a man leading the chants yells out. The crowd begins to cheer it. Both teams were still in the changing room. After our fourth chant, they flew out and we cheered louder.

The captains shook hands and Madam Hooch placed her whistle in her mouth. She waited a second before blowing. The balls were released and all players began to fly. Harry dodged our Bludger and made a wide lap around the pitch, Draco on his tail.

"And it's Johnson, Johnson with the Quaffle," the announcer states. "Ouch she's hit by a Bludger from Crabbe from behind." The crowd cheers. "Montague catches the Quaffle, he's heading up the pitch..."

I cheer loudly cupping my mouth with my hands. He looks at me and points, mouthing something but I didn't catch it. "Bludger from George Weasly to the head for Montague... Montague drops the Quaffle, Oh nevermind it's caught by Katie Bell who reverse passes to Alicia Spinnet..."

I stop listening to the announcer when the Slytherin's begin to chant something else.

**Weasley cannot save a thing, He cannot block a single ring, that's why Slytherin's all sing: Weasley is our king.**

What the hell? I look at Isabella and she looks at me in disgust, rolling her eyes.

**Weasley was born in a bin. He always lets a quaffle in. Weasley will make sure we win. Weasley is our King.**

What? I look at Boise who's chanting proudly and all around. Someone laughs from being me. "What's wrong Potter? Are we hurting your friends?" I turned to see it was Pansy teasing. I roll my eyes and look forward. "Aww, maybe you were put into the wrong house. Looks like (y/n)'s too sensitive. Should I make them stop?"

_Don't let her irritate you. Don't let her irritate you. It is just a game._

"Must be upsetting Potter," she continues to yell. "I feel so bad for you." I turn around and clench my fists. "What are you going on about now Pansy?"

She laughs. "Well you know, going totally insane and Draco winning. So tell me, should I be scared of you attacking me or screaming out in insanity. Should we all be scared of you Potter? Sleep with an eye open?"

**Can we please shut her up?**

I don't answer either one and turn around. Harry was staying still in midair. What is he doing?

**How about we have some fun?**

_Go away. Not now._

**Are you sure about that? I wasn't asking and well, we both know what happens when you don't do something I want. Besides, didn't it feel good last time?**

_Please no. My family and friends are the one's playing._

**As you wish.**

I felt a sharp pain in my chest and I was about to scream but I couldn't. I was in more pain than the last time, so much pain I couldn't talk. I fell down on the bleachers, gripping the sides by my hands. A sharp ringing took place in my ears.

 _Okay._ I took a deep breath. _Please stop._

It laughed but said nothing. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. A shift in my mind occurs and this time, I felt free again. No emotions. I stood up and cracked my neck.

"Are you okay?" Bella asks with concern in her eyes. I laugh, "Fine Bella." She looked at me with a confused expression and opened her mouth to say something but stayed silent. Shaking her head, she turned her attention back to the game.

Angelina Johnson was about to score but I Knew she wouldn't make it because of Miles. At my hip,I took my hand and pointed at miles. Flicking my wrist, Miles moves out of the way and Johnson scores the goal as I smile. I didn't exactly know why I was helping Gryffindor. But I sure as hell am not going to let Slytherin win with their vile remarks at Ron.

Harry and Draco were racing for the Snitch and I moved my eyes around to find it. I saw it a little ways in front of Draco and moved my hand to it, flicking it to Harry who caught it and dived low. The Gryffindor cheered as it meant he won but Harry was struck with a Bludger by Crabbe right as he was sliding to the ground.

I didn't cheer. I just made my way through the stands ignoring Isabella's yells. I made my way to the front of the stands where a level of stairs descended to the pitch. As I was making my way down, I saw Harry and George charge at Draco, Harry punching Draco in the stomach.

Feeling my anger step aside and worry flow through my body, I began running to my brother.

"Impedimenta!" Madam Hooch spelled Harry and he was knocked backwards. Malfoy was on the ground curled up into a ball. I wanted to go make sure everything was okay when I felt a body stand in my way, hand curled around my waist. "Don't," he said. I looked up to see Adrian, his forehead glistening in sweat.

Draco made his way up from the ground, eyeing me and Adrian. He immediately looks away.

"I've never seen behavior like it- back up to the castle!" the Madam yelled. "Both of you and straight to your Head of House's office! Go! Now!" Harry and George made their way off the ground. Harry looked at me. _I'm fine_ , he mouthed.

Draco stood and made his way past but not before lightly bumping into me and mumbling.

"I guess both Potters are the same. Violent and insane."

***

I was waiting outside the Gryffindor room after dinner waiting for Harry when I asked Neville to ask Harry to come outside. I haven't seen him since he stormed off and he skipped dinner.

Harry finally comes out and I straighten my back off the wall. "Hey," he says. "What happened?" I asked. He shakes his head and lets out a breath. "George and I are banned from Quidditch for life," he says angrily.

"What? She can't do that!" I yell. "Keep your voice down. She can and she did."

I roll my eyes. "Well what about Draco?" He crosses his arms. "George and I were the ones who attacked him." I raised an eyebrow, "If you attacked him, I'm sure it was for good reason."

Harry nodded his head, "Yea he was the one who kept taunting the chant in our faces and tried provoking Fred and George." I scoff. "Well, is he banned as well." He shakes his head.

"There's something else as well," he whispers. I look at him with a confused look and he grabs my arm, moving us past the door and to a corner. "Have you been getting...dreams?" he asks.

I cock my head to the side. "Dreams?" He nods and I shake my head. "But umm... the pain and the screaming I've been feeling. It starts with the scar. But Harry, he can't be here. Right?"

He huffs and looks around. "We still need to figure out what's going on with you. You're acting strange." I nod in agreement. "I know, I'm scared."

He assures me we'll find out what's going on with me and we say our goodbyes. It was getting late and I was tired. I reach the door of the Slytherin's house and make my way down the stairs. The Quidditch team were seated at the couches. I wanted to silently walk past them but Adrian caught me.

"Where do you think you're going?" he says, arms crossed blocking my path. I rolled my eyes for the hundredth time today. "To my room," I state. He shakes his head and grabs my hand, leading me to the sofa. He sits first and sits me on his lap as there was nowhere else to sit. Draco sitting directly in front of us and glaring which made me shift uncomfortably.

They were talking about the game and some things that had happened but I didn't remember any of it. Really thinking, I didn't remember most of it. I remember Pansy, then pain shooting up my body, anger, and finally I was drawn out of it when I saw Harry. I remember some but it was hazy.

The more I thought about it, the more tired I became. Without thinking, I leaned my head on Adrian's shoulder and shut my eyes. The noise was buzzing in my ear and my head was pounding. I felt like someone had turned up the volume. I knitted my eyebrows together and tried to focus on anything but the noise.

I open my eyes and head pounds even more. A sharp pain shoots through my head. "Adrian," I mumble but he doesn't hear me. I try to raise my head but it feels like a bag of bricks. "Adrian." He looks at me. "What's wrong?" he asks.

"Can you take me to my room?" I whisper.

He says goodnight to everyone, making up an excuse I didn't hear. He helps me stand and then stands himself, grabbing my hand. I could've sworn I saw Draco shoot me a look but I think it was a glare of anger. Adrian guides me to my room and I walk in, sitting immediately on my trunk, placing my head in my hands. I feel him place his hands on my knees. "Hey, what's going on?" he asks. I shake my head, "I don't know. Just a headache. It'll go away."

I feel his hands come off and hear his footsteps walking outside the room. I stay seated when I hear footsteps come in, I look up to see Adrian come inside with a pill bottle and a glass of water. He kneels in front of me and hands me the water, opening the bottle. I eye him with an eyebrow raised. "Don't worry, they're for headaches. My mother sends them."

After taking them, he leaves me be and I slide into bed after putting on shorts and a t-shirt. My headache slowly subsided and I looked up at the ceiling. Trying to come up for some sort of reason for the random headache or the voice or the blackout. Was I going insane? Was I sick?

One thing for certain, if I wasn't insane, I was going to go insane trying to figure it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update of the day number two. Hope you all liked this chapter... 
> 
> many more to come
> 
> Much Love <3


	14. Chapter 14

"Adrian," I laugh trying to push him away. "Stop that, we're in the middle of the hallway." He ignores me and continues to place small kisses on my cheek.

It's been about a week since Adrian and I first began flirting and it was honestly going really good. He's been sweet, checking up on me after classes and before bed. Making sure a headache wasn't coming along. And they haven't. Well, not as strong anyways but I didn't tell him about the smaller ones.

Within the past week, we've had two meetings with the army and every time I had to go, I told him I was hanging out with the trio which wasn't a lie but I didn't know where he stood with the whole Voldemort is back situation so I was careful not to mention the meetings. I didn't like keeping it from him but I had too. But then again, we weren't official...yet.

I liked what we had. It was different then with Draco. I lost my virginity to him at 14 for bloody sake. And we continued to have fun... well until my name was placed in the goblet and I began hanging out with Cedric. It's not like we didn't have time, he just drifted away. But now I was 15 and though I wasn't a virgin, I didn't want to rush into anything. Adrian being a 7th year, we didn't have many lessons together so these brief hallway moments were all we had.

"Sorry," he chuckles, pulling away and grabbing my hand. I lean into him and place my other hand on his bicep after adjusting my bag. On our way to the Great Hall for lunch, Adrian says, "I was called to Umbridge's office today." Looking at our intertwined hands, I ask, "What for? Everything okay?"

He nods. "She...umm. She put together this inquisitorial squad and asked if I wanted to be a part of it." I looked at him with an eyebrow raised but he continued before I could speak. "I turned her down. I don't know what she's looking for but I have better things to do than to play her little spy." I roll my eyes. "I want Dumbledore back. The amount of hatred I have for that woman is impeccable. She looks like those creepy pink dolls."

He looks at me and laughs. He talks to me about some tips for the OWL exams as we walk into the Great Hall. Harry saw us and waved. Hermione glanced at our hands and winked. Ron was...well shoving food in his mouth.

We walked to the Slytherin table and sat in between Bella and Miles. "Did you hear the rumors?" Bella whispers. I shake my head. "Apparently Draco, Pansy, Millicent,Crabbe,Goyle, Graham, and Cassius joined Umbridge's Inquisitorial squad. Draco's apparently the leader."

I roll my eyes. "Of course he is." Bella nudges my side and bows her head down, I follow her. "What are we going to do about the meetings?" she asks in a low voice. I sigh, "We have to start being extra careful."

*** 

"That was a bloody stupid class," Ron complains after walking out of Umbridge's classroom. "Harry are we having a meeting today?"

My brother shakes his head. "No, with the Inquisitorial squad just forming, we need to lay low. Let's wait a couple days. (y/n), are you coming with us back to our common room?"

"No, I have to go do something but I'll see you later," I smile and say my goodbyes.

I turn the other way and begin walking the opposite way from the trio. I've been wanting to have "me" time for a while, my stress levels went up after finding out about Umbridge's Inquisitorial squad. It seems like whatever we do, someone's always finding a new way to ambush out training.

Why was it that they just wouldn't understand that Voldemort is coming back? He would've eventually. It's not as if he died a long time ago, he just disappeared?

One thing was for sure, I was not ready. Mentally. The small headaches that occur here and there have been draining me. The voice hasn't come back but I feel like something is missing. Which makes sense regarding my blackout a few weeks ago. Since then, I've been trying to figure out what happened but everytime I think about it, or at least try to, a sharp pain rushes through my head.

Maybe if I go back to my spot, the memories will come back.

As soon as I opened the door, a gust of wind flowed through me and I wrapped my coat around my body tighter, sinking my face further so that the zipper met my lips. It was getting colder, much colder as Christmas came closer. I wonder what Harry and I's Christmas plans are. Probably with the Weasleys.

I sigh looking around. I was supposed to spend Christmas this year with Cedric's family. He had invited me towards the end of the competition after telling him I didn't do anything the Christmas months before. I agreed after days of pesting me but pleaded with him not to get me any gifts. He agreed but I knew he was lying. I wonder what his gift would've been. I wonder what I would've got him.

Wait, if Adrian and I were still "together" for Christmas, what would I get him? I barely know him. How would I afford it? My head was swarming thoughts and I began to walk faster.

"Where do you think you're going?" I hear someone say from behind. I stop in my tracks. No. No. No. Was I followed?

I let out a breath and turned around to see Draco walking towards me. "Draco, have you been following me?" He scoffs. "I asked you a question first. Where do you think you're going?"

I roll my eyes. "Nowhere that concerns you." I place my hands in my pocket, shivering from the cold. He eyes me carefully, looking me up and down. His eyebrows scrunch together and then look past me. My secret spot was still safe a little ways away.

"Meeting Adrian?" was all he asked. I laughed. "No. But even if I was, are you going to go report back to Umbridge? Heard you became her little doll."

He begins to glare at me and walks forward, stopping right in front of me. His piercing blue eyes glaring into my brown ones. My hair, flowing through the wind and slightly brushing his face.

"I suggest you keep your mouth shut Potter. You may be Prefect but now I am higher than you. Don't make me convince Umbridge to deem you unfit and pass your position on to Pansy," he sneers.

"You know the main thing you have gotten wrong since we've been back, Draco?" I ask, taking my hand out and placing it on his cheek, my thumb caressing his cheek. I lean into his ears and whisper, "It seems like you're obsessed with me, not the other way around. It's why you keep bringing up Pansy. You try to make me jealous but you see here, Adrian is great company. Who knows, maybe soon I'll find out who's better at pleasing me."

I pull back and take my hand off his cheek. I glance at the ground as I side step him and walk past him, going back to Hogwarts. I knew he would follow me to my safe space and I didn't want him too. I tilt my head to the side, far enough to be able to see behind me.

Draco hadn't moved from his spot. Still facing the opposite direction. I contemplate waiting but shake my head and leave him behind.

***

"Well, that was stupid!" Isabella yells and throws her head back on my shoulder. I laugh and shake my head.

It was the next day and the match between Hufflepuff and Slytherin for Quidditch just ended and Slytherin lost yet again. It was a very close match. Isabella crossed her arms and groaned.

"Isabella, shouldn't you be a supportive girlfriend and be happy your boyfriend won?" I joke. She turns her head and glares at me. "Asher might be a hufflepuff but if you think for one second I will let Slytherin's loss slide, you are wrong. Come along, let's go give those boys a pep talk." She stands and grabs my arm.

I laugh and follow her to the field. She looks at me as we walk, "You know," she begins. "If you were still on the team, we would've won. Still think it's stupid Snape told you, you can't play. I mean you were feeling better, right?" I nod.

"He was just being careful Isabella." She rolls her eyes. "I know that but you are feeling better, aren't you? Scared me for a second there. Thought you were going insane but then you had that panic attack and it scared me even more? Is it Cedric's death? Voldemort?"

I refuse to look at her in the eyes. I didn't know why... well no... I know why. Because I didn't want to hurt Draco. But then again, I didn't. What was this inside me? I should go see Snape. But what would I tell him?

Hello Professor Snape, Potter here. I've been having dreams of a snake and everytime I get angry or upset, it wants me to hurt people. And when I refuse, it causes excruciating pain to the point of me passing out? Or when I say yes, I don't remember anything I do afterwards.

Nope. Not doing that. I sound insane...absolutely insane. Bloody hell, has this been happening to Harry as well? Or is it just me?

"There's my girl!" I hear Asher say, running up to Isabella and trying to hug her but Isabella holds her hand out. I snicker a laugh. "I am mad at you right now," she says. He looks at me with a confused look and I just shrug.

"Did I do something?" he asks her. She rolls her eyes, "You won the bloody game? Couldn't throw in the towel for your girlfriend?" He looks at her with wide confused eyes and her face has such an angry look on her face. Her nose red from the coldness.

She then looks at me and we bust out in laughter. His face falls and he immediately lets out a huge breath. "Good job babe. But next time, go easy on the team. They lost (y/n). And I believe that's what made them horrible this season." He laughs and wraps his arms around her waist.

"Hey," Captain Montague said in a sarcastic voice. "(y/n) might've been good but she wasn't the best..."

"Oh shut up, tell that to the lost game," Isabella snickers back.

Graham laughs and gives me a hug. "Fine, we need you back next year. Maybe you should replace Draco, he seems to be off these past few games." I laugh. "What? Miles! You told me you would make sure we win!"

Miles runs over. "It wasn't my fault! Blame Draco. He was out of his mind all game. Did he and Pansy get into a fight before the game?" I look at the boys in confusion. Speaking of boys, where's Adrian.

"Have you seen Adrian?" I ask, ignoring Miles's question. Miles, Asher, and Graham shrug. "Last I saw, he and Draco were walking towards the dressing room." I nod and say my goodbyes, walking over to the door.

I wait outside for a little before calling Adrian's name. Twice. I sigh and rub my arms, the cold air flowing through my body. Everyone has left and I'm alone. After a couple moments, I take a deep breath and walk through the door. There was a wall between the small hall when you entered the door and the actual changing room.

I hear a thud and stop in my tracks.

"Draco would you shut up? You don't know anything about her!" I hear a voice say, Adrian's voice. Draco laughs. "Please, I know more than you think."

"Are the rumors true then?" Adrian asks. All I can think of is for Draco to please keep his mouth shut. I would tell Adrian when I felt comfortable. We weren't even officially dating for me to tell him what I had done with _my_ body.

"Maybe you should (y/n). Or are you afraid of what she'll reveal. You know Adrian, you can do so much better than a Potter who's going crazy. Haven't you noticed? She went crazy before saying she was in pain when no one touched her."

Adrian scoffs. "Please Draco, everytime you're around, it happens. How do I know you don't pull some sort of dark magic spell on her."

"Because I don't!" Draco yells. "If anything, she puts spells on me. Do you know what she does in her spare time? I found her lurking outside, walking towards the woods. Was she meeting you there?"

I step back and hit the wall, a hand over my mouth. "No," Adrian says simply. Draco laughs, "Well two reasons she would be walking that way. One, she really is crazy and becoming evil or two, she's cheating on you."

I shake my head and walk out, refusing to hear anymore of the talk between Adrian and Draco. I was pretty sure whatever Adrian and I had, had gone down the drain. I ran out the door and I think I had accidentally removed the door stopper because it slammed shut. I was sure they heard it.

I quickly walked through the doors to the halls of Hogwarts and headed towards the Great Hall for dinner. I didn't hear footsteps behind me and I was relieved.

Walking through the huge entrance, Bella waved her hands from the Slytherin table and I waved back but before I could walk through the entrance, a hand slithered around my waist, turning me around.

"Hey," Adrian says as I met his face. "Hi," I whisper back. He leans in and gives me a quick kiss. "Where were you?" I dumbly ask. "Talk later," was his response as he grabs my hand and walks us to the table.

Talk later indeed.

***

"Goodbye you two!" Bella shouts as Adrian and I walk out of the Hufflepuff common room back to my room. I laugh as I wave.

Adrian has been extra handsy tonight. His hands on me at all times whether it was him holding my hand as we walked, his hands on my thigh as we ate, or even his hands around my waist. It was like someone would tell me something I didn't like to hear and I would walk off. Little did he know, I had heard something I didn't like.

We walk to the Slytherin house in silence, his hand in mine. A couple nods and hellos,here and there.

When we got to the common room, Adrian got stopped to talk to one of the 7th year Slytherin boys and I stopped behind him as he conversed. I looked around the common room only to find a couple people here; Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle sitting in the corner and Pansy nowhere to be seen. Draco eyed our intertwined hands from the corner of his eyes and I suddenly got a little uncomfortable.

I didn't know what was said before or after I left and I was uncomfortable with them talking behind my back, scared Draco revealed anything to him about us that we both agreed to keep a secret.

After a few minutes, Adrian says his goodbyes and he makes his way to my room. I take out my wand and open my door, holding it open, unsure whether he was going to walk in or say his goodbyes.

He walks in, taking the door handle and closing it. My hand lets go of the frame.

"We need to talk," he says and looks around the room. Nothing good ever comes out of those four words. "I agree," I simply say back.

I make my way to sit on the sofa in the corner of my room and he follows me. Sitting criss cross, I face him as he sits normally, his body slightly twisted to face me and his arm across the back of the sofa.

"I'm only going to ask this once and I want no lies, (y/n)," he says. I nod in response. He lets out a breath and continues. "Is there anything going on between you and Draco?" I look at him wide eyed and laugh. He shakes his head and goes to stand but I grab his arm.

"I'm sorry, I just found it funny. But no Adrian. I promise you nothing is going on between me and Malfoy. Where did you even get that idea from?"

He sits back down. "In the dressing room, Draco told me he caught you walking out of Hogwarts into the woods. He said you were meeting up with someone. I assumed he was lying and you were meeting him. There is some undeniable tension between you two. Has been going on for about two years now and no one knows exactly what happened."

I roll my eyes. "Well, the tension I have between Draco and I is between the two of us and I'm not comfortable sharing it just yet but I can assure you there is nothing going on between the two of us. And as for the woods, I go there sometimes to clear my head. Don't know if you realize but Hogwarts isn't exactly a safe space for me to clear it ever since Cedric's death."

"What's in the woods?" he asks. I shake my head. "Just woods, trees. Is this really important Adrian?"

He shakes his head. "I suppose not. But are the rumors true?"

I let out a breath. "Which rumors? The one that I'm going insane?"

He shakes his head once more. "The one about you and Cedric? Or you and Draco?" I look at him with a confused expression. "Rumor is you and Draco were fooling around. Sexually... And when he refused to make you his girlfriend, you went after Cedric to make him jealous. That's why you always take your anger out on him because he agreed to make Pansy his girlfriend but not you..."

"Are you bloody serious!" I exclaim standing up. "And do you believe it?"

He stands up. "Well not the Cedric part. I think you actually did have feelings for Cedric but I see the way you look at Pansy (y/n). And that does explain why you always get... I don't know... angry when you're with Draco. One minute you both are fine, the next you're yelling, and the next you're on the ground screaming in pain. What goes on (y/n)?"

I huff out a breath. I don't want to talk about this. I don't know what goes on. I might be irrational but I don't care. It's my business and I don't feel like airing it out. What am I supposed to say? I hear a voice inside my head that tells me to hurt people and if I don't, I get hurt instead. Then, they would for sure call me insane.

"I don't want to talk about this," I say walking past him. "So you are jealous of Pansy?" he asks. I turn around. "No!" I shout.

"No, I am not. And I can't explain what goes on because I don't even know what goes on. But I do know one thing for certain, I am not jealous of Pansy nor will I ever be. And No I did not go after Cedric to make Draco jealous. Cedric was my best friend and we grew into something more. News flash Adrian, not everything that goes on with me is because of Draco. Besides who even started this rumor?"

He kept quiet and looked everywhere but my eyes. I step closer to him, looking up. "Was it Pansy?" I whisper. He didn't meet my eyes and I got my answer. Wiping away some tears that had escaped, I turned back and opened my door. "Get out," I whisper again.

He looked at me and walked to me. "(y/n)," he tries to say, placing his hands on my wait but I flinch away. "Get out. If you had the audacity to even think for a second that what Pansy said was true then I can't be with you. Get out."

I look at the ground as he lets out a sigh and leaves the room. The moment he leaves, I close my door and slide down the frame, pulling my knees up to my chest. I place my head on my crossed arms, close my eyes and begin to cry silently, thinking of a memory I had with Cedric this time last year.

***

_"Cedric! Where are we going?" I laugh as he pulls my hand. The cold wind rippling through us. My nose red and sniffling from the cold._

_He stops running and lets go of my hand. Then places both his hands on his knees as he crouches down and tries to catch his breath. I do the same, looking at my pale skinned best friend whose face was red from the cold._

_"Remember when I asked you what was one of the things you wished to do during the winter but never got to do as a kid?" he asks in between pants. I look at him confused. But he just smiles and laughs as he crouches down._

_Before I knew it, a snowball was thrown at my face. "CEDRIC!" I yell. He begins to run away and hides behind a tree. I crouch down and grab a handful of snow, making a ball. I run to Cedric and throw it at him, hitting his back._

_We stay outside for what feels like hours, throwing snowballs at each other and building snowmans. Now we were laying on the snow, looking up at the grey sky._

_"You know the yule ball is coming up," he says after moments of silence. I nod. "I know."_

_He looks at me. "Do you have anyone in mind you would like asking you?" I sigh, "I think we both know the answer to that one Diggory." He turns and lays on his side, elbow keeping him up._

_"So what are you two anyways? Dating?" I laugh. "It's complicated. Very Complicated. I don't know. Is it a bad thing that I'm waiting for him to ask me?" He shakes his head. "If he makes you happy, no. But promise me if someone else asks you, you'll say yes. If he really means it, he'll ask sooner rather than later."_

_I nod. "I promise."_

_He lays back down and I snuggle closer to him, my head on his shoulder. "You deserve to be happy (y/n). I know I say it a lot but I'll continue saying it until you get it through your thick skull of yours."_

_I just laugh and shake my head._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Hello, 
> 
> hope all is well. To be honest, this chapter went slightly off plan. The argument was a little different and the flashback was not planned but that's the way of writing. Hope you all loved it
> 
> Much love <3


	15. Chapter 15

_"(y/n)"_

_"(y/n)"_

_I shift in my bed and groan. I don't know who's calling my name but I would very much love to stay in bed._

_"(y/n)" it says again._

_I turn and lay on my back, face towards the ceiling. I blink my eyes slowly and it's dark. And I mean as dark as the sea out when the moon is in full bloom. I sit up slowly, looking around my room._

_I couldn't hear Knight's morning song and the light wasn't shining through the blinds,_

_fighting to get through. It was too early and I probably was just hearing things. I shook my head and turned to my side, raising the blanket to my chin._

_"(y/n)" I hear again, but louder._

_I shoot up from my bed. "Hello?" I ask in the voice. No response. I slowly pull the covers off my body and step out of bed. Feeling my way on my nightstand, I grab my wands and glasses._

_"Lumos" I whisper to my wand and it shines as bright as the moonlight. I hold it up and see nothing in my room._

_Swallowing my fear, I open the door and walk out. Immediately being transported to the Hogwarts's hallway._

_"Hello? Who's there?" I say aloud. A dark chuckle echoes in the hallway._

_And then a slithering noise. **No. No.**_

_"We meet again," it sneers. The snake appears coming from the hallway entrance. It's large green body shining through my wand and what little light appears in the windows._

_I step backwards but I now know this isn't reality. It's a dream. There was no way to escape. I close my eyes hoping I would wake from my body. But moments pass and I'm stuck like a deer in the headlights._

_The snake hisses but then laughs. I open my eyes to see smoke of black and emerald green surrounding where the snake once was. And what appeared in its place sent chills through my body._

_Voldemort._

_My body became frozen. I couldn't move. I continuously screamed in my head to move, to say a spell, to do anything but stand here. But I couldn't. Would he even do anything? He isn't here. It's a dream._

_He walks closer to me, not saying a word. When he's a breath away, he begins to circle my body like a predator circling its prey before picking it apart piece by piece._

_"What do you want?" I ask, trying to hide the scared tone in my voice with authority but fail to do so when my voice cracks. He chuckles lightly and brushes my hair off my shoulder. Somehow my body grew even more stiff like a statue._

_"Now, now Potter. Don't fear," he says. "Are you really him? Have you been the one speaking to me all this time?"_

_Silence falls upon us. He circles once more before steps back and looks me in the eyes. His eyes were still of those of a snake._

_"You tell me," is all he responds. "Has it been me? Or have you just been going insane?"_

_I squint my eyes, "What?"_

_He laughs. "It's alright, it's only the two of us. Haven't you been feeling a darkness in you? An urge to wreak havoc? The almighty powerful Potter..." He laughs once more. "Oh wait. That's Harry isn't it. Wrong Potter. I guess I will be on my way."_

_He turns to walk towards where he once entered from. "Wait!" I call out, all fear residing. He stops and moves his body slightly, turning so his side is facing me. "What do you mean?"_

_Voldemort...or whoever this is... turns to face me and walks towards me. "Well, you are just another wizard aren't you. No importance. Harry is the chosen one. You, (y/n), are just the sad, insignificant, little sister. Not as nearly as powerful as your brother."_

_I clench my fists and anger boils inside of me. "Did I make you angry?" he mocks. Without thinking twice, I bring my hand up and feel a rage of power flow right through me. Flicking my hand, Voldemort crashes into the wall._

_"Well...well," I jump at the voice behind me. I didn't even see him hit the ground. "Looks like little Potter has it in her all along."_

_I step forward towards him and push him towards the wall, wrapping an arm around his throat. This wasn't Voldemort. He had his face, his voice, even his movements. But Voldemort wouldn't let me push him around like this._

_"You have about five seconds," I sneer. "Before I rip you limb from limb and I'm sure once I do that, I will wake up peacefully and happily with you finally out of my head." He laughs...Laughs! Once more._

_"Are you sure that'll do it? That hurting me in your dreams will not remove me from your mind."_

_I cock an eyebrow, "And how could you be so sure?"_

_Within seconds, a cloud of green and black smoke appears in front of me where I once held Voldemort. And in replacement of it... me. I was holding my throat. Except this me had snake eyes._

_"Because I'm you," she says in my voice. Her smile shoots shivers all throughout my body. I gasp and let go stepping back. She makes a pouting face. "Aww, what's wrong love? See someone you know?"_

_I turn to walk out and begin walking quickly back to my room but a hand wraps around my ankle and yanks. I fall on the ground, my face crashing into the floor as I'm being dragged and my body turned. Her hand wraps around my throat now. I thrash underneath myself, trying to have some leverage. But her hand wraps more tightly._

_"Listen to me (y/n)," she says. "You may be able to fight me now but I promise you, I will win. And you will never be able to get rid of me. No matter how hard you try. Everyone you love with perish. Starting with Harry. Now there are two ways to go about this. You may accept the darkness inside you and we will be one. Or we can go the harder way. Where I will cause you pain everytime I try to come through, each one more painful than the next. And I will drain you of all your energy, working my way from inside to out. Until you have no say in me taking over. Then I will trap you here in your mind as I am now. Until you perish. But before you do, I'll allow you to remember me being in the driver's seat and witness everyone you love die as you did Cedric."_

_"No," I croak out. "Whoever you are. Whatever you are... I will destroy you. I will fight until my last dying breath to protect the ones I love."_

_She laughs, "Even if it means locking yourself away, living your worthless life alone. And how do you destroy a darkness that's inside you. That is you? You really are stupid."_

_The air is getting harder to breathe by the second. My body drained. I shut my eyes. Wake up. Wake up. How do I wake myself from my own nightmare._

_Wake up._

***

I shoot up from my bed, a hand grasping my throat, coughing and trying to suck in air all at once. It was hot... too hot in the middle of winter. I rip the covers off my bed and dash towards the door. I was wearing sweats and a short sleeved shirt so it wasn't as if I was naked.

I sped through the common room, ignoring hello's that were said and walked up the stairs to Hogwarts hallway and walked to the courts. I might have looked insane. Someone wearing only a short sleeve t-shirt and sweats in the freezing cold winter.

I ran behind a tree and bent down, letting everything out.

"(Y/N)!" I hear a voice yell from afar. But I still wasn't done throwing my guts up.

A hand wrapped around my hair, holding it up and out of my face while another was placed on my back. I took in a deep breath and coughed a few times. My throat is burning.

My hair is let down and a blanket is wrapped around my body. "Are you alright?" I hear Harry ask. I don't answer for a few seconds before accepting the truth and shaking my head. He wraps his arms around me and I stay still, fear crawling inside my body.

Afraid, not of Voldemort, but of me. Afraid of who I am. Who I may become.

"You'll be alright," he whispers. "I promise."

I just close my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder.

***

"Working hard is important," Harry says walking around helping students with their wand pointing and such. " but there's something that matters even more: Believing in yourself."

It was the middle of the day and I asked Harry if anyone had seen me earlier running out to the courts and he shook his head, promising to keep it between us. He hasn't asked what happened or if I was feeling sick but asked me to take it slow at training today so here I was. Not training myself but helping a hufflepuff fourth year at the disarming charm

"Lift your wand up a little, love," I say quietly, taking her wand and angling it upwards a little.

My voice still felt hoarse but a little better after McGonagall made me tea since she found Harry and I walking back to my room and asked why I was not dressed properly enough. I had given Harry a nod to tell her what had happened.

"Think of it this way." Harry continues with his small speech. "Every great wizard in history has started out... as nothing more than what we are now: students. If they can do it, why not us?"

"Come on now!" I say aloud. "In a circle."

There was some shuffling of feet as we made a circle in the center of the hall. The enchanted statue in the center. It moved from one person to the other as people called out "Stupefy" and "Expelliarmus".

"Reducto!" Ginny calls out and the statue obliterates into dust. Everyone stands around in shock.

After a few more minutes of doing this exercise, we go back to everyone doing their own thing. Bella was working on her stupefy with Asher as I was walking up to her. She stopped almost immediately as I approached.

"Where were you this morning?" she asks. "McGonagall's office," I shrug. A look of worry flashes upon her face but I continue before she freaks out. "I didn't feel good so she made me a cup of tea and I was allowed to miss class. Umbridge didn't like it but I finished my studies in her office."

"Are you feeling better now?" Asher chips in. I nod and thank him for asking.

"Ronald, would you quit being a blithering idiot," Hermione says as they walk towards us. "I'm just saying Hermione, on the battlefield, the more hurtful spells seem wise," he defends himself.

I cock an eyebrow up in hopes of getting answers. Hermione shakes her head and loops her arm with mine and rests her head on my shoulder. "I have had enough of him today, someone take him." We all laugh...except for Ron.

"All I said was it would be useful to learn some dark spells like causing excruciating pain to one's enemies! It would be useful," he argues. I shift uncomfortably, hoping Hermione wouldn't sense that I was uncomfortable with what Ron was suggesting. Especially with me not knowing what's going on with me.

We all shoot our heads as everyone goes silent when Neville finally accomplishes the Expelliarmus spell and everyone goes over to congratulate him as Harry walks towards me.

"Feeling alright?" he asks. I nod. "Much better than before." He reaches his hand up to brush some hair out of my face. "Well, this is our last meeting, so afterwards you can rest until you feel better." I stay silent as he turns around to call everyone to where we stood.

"So that's it for this lesson," he states as everyone gathers around. "Now, we' re not gonna be meeting again until after the holidays. So just keep practicing on your own as best you can.And well done, everyone. Great, great work." Everyone applauds.

Everyone disperses and Harry looks at Cho. I come up behind him and look at my arm with his, placing my head on his shoulders. "Go to her," I whisper. He looks at me and laughs. "Harry, I'm being serious. We all see it. What are you waiting for?"

He looks at me and shrugs. "Maybe I will," he whispers. I nod, "It's better to try and fail than to stand and wonder." He laughs. "Where did that come from?"

"Cedric once told me that," I smile. I let go of his arm and grab Hermione's hand. "See you in the Common Room, Harry," she smiles as we walk away. We laugh as we walk away, hands swinging.

I say goodbye to Hermione shortly after, heading back to my room.

***

"Knight, would you stop flapping around the room please," I groan, putting down my book. It was late but I couldn't sleep and decided to let Knight out but now it might've been a bad idea. My window was open but he decided he just wanted to fly around my room and bother me.

Just as I set my book down, I hear a knock on my door. Cocking an eyebrow up in confusion, I pull back my covers and walk towards my door. Knight soars and lands on my shoulder. I open the door and am met with Draco. A bowl in his hands.

"Can I come in?" he asks before I say anything. I look at him confused. "Please, this soup is burning my hands and I walked all the way from the Prefect kitchen to here?"

Laughing quietly, I pull back the door, motioning him to come inside. He walks in quickly setting the bowl on my desk as I shut my door. "Is the soup for me?" I ask. "No, it's for me. I just wanted to eat it in your room, darling," he sneers back.

I roll my eyes. "Yes it's for you," he says quietly. "Why?"

"You ask too many questions, darling." I shrug. "Sorry."

He sighs, pulls the chair and motions me to sit in it as he sits on the corner of my bed. I oblige. I take a couple spoonfuls of soup as Draco watches the ground, suddenly very interested at the carpet.

"Can I ask one more question?" I say after the seconds of silence. "You just did," he jokes. "But go ahead." I let out a deep breath. "Why did you do this?"

His head shoots up to match my eyes and shrugs. "I saw you throwing your guts up at the grass. Figured I would make you something to eat since I didn't see you eat at any of our meals. Even if we hate each other, I don't want you dying." I laugh and roll my eyes. "I don't hate you Draco. We just... I don't know..."

After a few moments of silence, Draco says, "I broke up with Pansy."

"Why?"

I don't receive an answer. All I receive is Draco standing and walking towards the door. "Good night, (y/n)," he says and walks out, closing it behind him.

Sighing, I finish my soup and head to bed. 

***

***

_I was walking through the corridor of the ministry, the darkness surrounding with only torches lighting my way._

_But this dream was different. I laughed as a man ran. And instead of me following the snake, it was next to me, slithering by my side and guiding me. I followed it happily._

_"Potter," it hissed. We finally turned a corner and I saw Mr.Weasley on the floor, groaning. Normally I would run to his side and help him but I stood my ground, grinning at him. He didn't notice I was there, by the snake's side._

_"What are you doing?" I hear a voice yell. I turn my head to see my own reflection. "Help him!" I hear myself yell. But I ignore her and turn back to see the snake strike._

_"No!" My reflection screams._

_And the snake strikes again as I stand still and witness the action but not move from my place._

_I felt as though I was cold, like my heart had been frozen over. It didn't bother me or hurt me. I wasn't even the one doing it. Maybe I was in the between. My reflection was the side fighting and the snake was the darkness. Somehow, this state was in the middle. A door, maybe? Was I now the door in the dream?_

_One thing was for sure, as Mr.Weasley was hurt, I just stood there until I turned around and walked away, leaving him behind._

***

"(y/n), get up," I heard someone say but my body was frozen. "Ginny help me,"

I feel hands being placed on both my arms and pulling me upwards. "Thank you for coming," I hear Bella's voice. "Of course, Harry was feeling the same way. I rushed over here and when I saw you outside, I knew (y/n) was too."

They pull me up from my bed as I try to help them but I feel like I'm stuck somewhere and I can't reach them. I groan a little trying to walk. With every second passes, I'm regaining consciousness. They walk me to my door and we quietly exit, Bella making sure no one was in the halls.

The second we get outside, I see Fred and George. "Give me her," I hear Fred say. I feel his arms come under my body, swooping me up in his arms. He begins walking fast as I watch him, my face looking up at the ceiling.

I could feel the wetness of my clothes sticking to my body and the sweat dripping down my face. I killed Mr.Weasley. I felt it. Every jab. It was as if I felt his pain but I didn't do anything to stop it. I just stood there. But I remember yelling. Yelling at myself to move but I couldn't. I was stuck in the walls of the ministry, watching a lifeless body of mine watch as a snake attacked Mr.Weasley repeatedly.

Was he dead? Was it a dream? Or was I really there?

"What happened?" I hear a woman ask. "Same as Harry?"

I see Fred nod. "But she's unresponsive. Hasn't said a word or blinked."

"Set her down here." I feel my body being lowered and laid on a soft surface. "(y/n)," I felt Harry come next to me. His clammy hand on my forehead. He looked like he had a nightmare as well. McGonagall brings a glass of water to my lips and raises my head. I let her like I was a doll who needed caring for, unable to move myself.

"What happened?" I hear Dumbledore ask. I hear as Harry tells him about his nightmare and it's similar to mine. Except I was there and in his... I wasn't. "And (y/n)?"

"The same," I whispered. "Mr.Weasley...Mr.Weasley," I say repeatedly. McGonaggal places a hand on my back as she helps me sit up.

"In the dream, were you standing next to the victim or looking down at the scene?" He asks. Harry answers, "Neither. It was like I was...Professor, Will you please just tell us what's happening?"

"Everard, Arthur's on guard duty tonight. Make sure he's found by the right people," Dumbledore interrupts. "You must go to your portrait at Grimmauld Place.

Tell them that Arthur Weasley is gravely injured and his children will be arriving there soon by Portkey."

"They've got him, Albus. It was close, but they think he'll make it," a man says.

"Look at me!" Harry yells. Dumbledore looks at Harry. "What's happening to me?"

"What's happening to us Professor?" I ask quietly, crossing my arms.

"Oh, Severus," Dumbledore says as he walks in the room. "I'm afraid we can't wait. Not even till the morning. Otherwise, we'll all be vulnerable."

I look at Snape as he makes eye contact with me. "We have to go now," he says as he walks. I look at Harry as he makes his way towards me and helps me up, both of us following Snape at a fast speed.

We walk through the halls, making our way to Snape's office where when we finally arrive we get put into seats.

"Professor Snape, what is going on?" I asked, my voice slightly shaking and uneased. "It appears there's a connection between the Dark Lord's mind and your own. Whether he is, as yet, aware of this connection is, for the moment, unclear.

Pray he remains ignorant."

  
I look at Harry, shocked. "You mean, if he knows about it, then... he'll be able to read my mind? Our minds?"

"Read it, control it... " He turns around. "Unhinge it. In the past, it was often the Dark Lord's pleasure to invade the minds of his victims creating visions designed to torture them into madness.Only after extracting the last exquisite ounce of agony only when he had them literally begging for death, would he finally... kill them."

"Is that what's been happening to me?" I ask. "Voldemort has been trying to control my mind?"

"I'm not sure. I've never heard of anyone going through your pain but maybe so. I will be teaching you the power of Occlumency just in case. Used properly, the power of Occlumency... will help shield you from access or influence.In these lessons, I will attempt to penetrate your mind. Both of your minds. You will attempt to resist."

He gets his wand ready. "Harry, you shall go first. Prepare yourself...Legilimens." Just as he recites the incantation, I see Harry groan. "What are you doing?" I sneer. "Concentrate, Potter. Focus," is all Snape says.

"Professor Snape, you're hurting him!" I plead. Harry continues to groan. He stops. And Harry tries to regain his breathing to normal. "I'm alright," he pants. "It was okay. Just felt like someone was forcing themselves into my mind."

"That's because you need more practice," says Snape. "Now, (y/n)." I suck in a deep breath and nod.

"Legilimens," he states and I throw my head back. Feeling Snape enter my mind somehow. It was a force of a hundred bricks and I didn't know the first clue how to force him back or set up the walls. I tried but where would I start?

 ** _No!_** I hear the voice say in my head. Within seconds, I'm forced back to reality and Snape stumbles back. I gasp for air as I hear Snape colliding with the side of the table, steadying himself. "You did it," Harry gasps.

I look at him and Snape. Snape studies me, "Somehow, you managed to. Which is now making me wonder if you could keep me out, what is causing you pain, Ms.Potter. Have you had any headaches lately?"

I nod. "A little here and there. Professor, if it's not Voldemort reading my mind, then what's happening to me?" He stays quiet before saying. "I don't know."

I look down at the ground, my hands fidgeting with each other. "Hey," Harry says, placing his hands on my own. "We'll figure it out. Together. I promise."

I sigh and nod, smiling. But inside, I was scared. I felt cold. Like I was trapped. Trapped and screaming but no one could hear the words I was saying. And that something in me was holding me captive. I didn't force Snape out of my head. The voice didn't want him in, scared he would find out who it was... or what it was and help me remove it.

All I could hope was one day someone would hear me screaming and help me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone! I'm so sorry for the late update... University midterm week is over finally. I think. Well, I was working on exams so it was hard to write. I made a longer chapter than usual as a hopes to make it up. Hope you guys like it.
> 
> Don't forget to kudos and comment, please!
> 
> Much Love <3


	16. Chapter 16

“Harry,” I say and grab his hand as he walks forward. He stops in his tracks and looks at me, cocking an eyebrow up. “What is it?” he asks. Sirius stops walking as well. 

“I don’t feel comfortable going,” I confess. He sighs and turns to face me completely. “I’m nervous as well but they don’t blame us for what happened to Mr.Weasley. We’ll be okay.” I sigh and look around, watching the children play in the snow before us. 

“(y/n), darling, you must stop blaming yourself for what happened. All you saw was Voldemort getting in your head. If it wasn’t for you and Harry’s dream, they wouldn’t have gotten to him on time,” Sirius says. 

_But I stood there watching_ , I wanted to say. 

With a nod, we begin walking again. 

Sirius steps before us and opens the door to the kitchen once again. Harry went in first and I followed him, Sirius, after me. I saw Mr.Weasley at the head of the table and sucked in a breath. 

“Oh, Harry, (y/n)!” Mrs.Weasley exclaims as she sees us and begins walking toward us. “There you two are.” She stops halfway to grab two boxes and hands Harry is, hugging him. And does the same for me. “Happy Christmas. Lovely to have you two with us.” 

“Thank you,” Harry and I say at the same time. Harry turns back to me and stretches out his hand and I take it. He gives me a reassuring squeeze. “See I told you,” he whispers and I roll my eyes. 

We open our gifts and I laugh softly. Mrs.Weasley made us scarves but mine was dark green and silver and Sirius gave a small chuckle. I get nudged by Harry from my left who passes me a glass of something red. 

“A Christmas toast,” Mr.Weasley says aloud and raises his glass. “To the Potter twins… without whom I would not be here.” I give him a small smile but something aches in my chest and I noticed Harry was also not as enthusiastic as well. Did he have a similar dream to mine? Was he also hiding something? 

“Potters!” Mr.Weasley cheers and everyone follows. I bring the glass to my lips and proceed to sit down next to Fred at the other end of the table. Ms.Weasley passes me a plate. 

We spend the rest of the time filling our plates, eating, laughing, and just spending time together. I, surprisingly, laughed along even though my head was filled with anything but laughter. For once, it felt nice to be surrounded by the family I had made since Harry and I came to Hogwarts. 

The Weasley parents became my own. But I felt horrified for what I dreamt of the night of Mr.Weasley’s attack. From what I understood from Sirius was it was what Voldemort wanted us to see. But what if it was more than that? And what was with the lessons? Why was I able to block Sirius on the first try? Was it me or was it the darkness inside of me? I saw the way Sirius looked at me as Harry and I left that night, with carefulness and caution. Watching my every move.

That night I couldn’t sleep, my head having a huge headache and my stomach ached. I felt drained. Like blocking him, taking all the energy out of him. I felt weak. But at the same time, inside, I felt stronger but I knew it wasn’t me that felt strong. It scared me. 

When dinner was over, I helped Ms.Weasley put away the dishes with Ginny until she told me to go after the trio who had gone downstairs. She left no room to argue so I said my goodbyes and followed Sirius down. 

Right as we were about to step off the stairs we heard Kreacher sneering at Harry. “Kreacher!” Sirius warned. “That's enough of your bile. Away with you!” Kreacher nodded, “Of course, master.” And began to walk away. “Kreacher lives to serve the noble house of Black.”

I snickered quietly and Sirius smiled at me. “Sorry about that,” he said when we reached the doorway. “He never was very pleasant, even when I was a boy. Not to me, anyway.”

I look at him with confusion at the last statement. “What, you grew up here?” Harry asked what I was thinking.

Sirius nodded as we stepped in, “This is my parents' house. I offered it to Dumbledore as headquarters for the Order. About the only useful thing, I've been able to do.”

I looked at the wall Harry was looking at, faces covering it, and vines like they were connected. “What is this?” I asked. 

“This is the Black family tree. My deranged cousin. I hated the lot of them. My parents with their pure-blood mania.” He pointed to his name, a scorched mark in place of his face. “My mother did that after I ran away. Charming woman. I was 16.”

“Where did you go?” Harry asked. “Round your dad's,” he answered. “I was always welcome at the Potters'. I see him so much in you, Harry. And so much of Lily in you, (y/n). You are so very much alike.”

“I'm not so sure,” Harry says and I shift uncomfortably. I was not like my mother. My mother was pure, regardless of her being a muggle-born. I had a darkness inside me but I couldn’t say anything.

“Sirius, when I was…” Harry started but looked at me as if he was scared to see my reaction if he continued but sighed and turned back. “When I saw Mr. Weasley attacked, I wasn't just watching. I was the snake.” My head jolted up. 

Harry? The snake? I was watching Harry? Is that why in that one dream, I, for once, wasn’t the snake? Did Harry feel the darkness too?

“And afterward, in Dumbledore's office…” he continues. “There was a moment when I wanted to…” He sighs. “This connection between me and Voldemort. What if the reason for it is that I am becoming more like him? I just feel so angry all the time. And what if, after everything that I've been through something's gone wrong inside me? What if I'm becoming bad?”

“I also have something to confess…” I state and both their heads turn towards me. I shift my body again and cross my arms. 

“Sirius, since I returned to Hogwarts… Something’s different about me. I get angry over the little things. And whenever I do, I want to hurt people...badly. I almost hurt Draco until Harry stopped me. And I’ve been having nightmares about a snake. Mocking me about becoming the evil twin. And when I had the dream of Mr.Weasley, I was standing by the snake who attacked him, watching. I didn’t want to help. Didn’t move. Are we becoming bad? Are we not strong enough to defeat Voldemort then if Harry and I have been feeling this way?” 

I finally revealed some truth amid the voice. I didn’t want them thinking I was insane. Nor did I tell them about the pain, headaches, drained energy, or any of the side effects I felt after hearing the voice or giving into it. 

He walks towards us and leans down placing a hand on either of our shoulders. “I want you both to listen to me. Very carefully, you understand? You are not bad, either of you. You both are good people to whom bad things have happened to. Do I make myself clear?” We nod. 

“Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside of us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”

A knock is heard at the doorway and I turn to see Hermione standing in the doorway. “It’s time to go,” she says. Harry and I look at each other before we make our way towards her. 

“When all this is over, we'll be a proper family,” Sirius says. “You’ll see.” He hugs Harry first. And then turns to me. “I don’t want to leave,” I plead. Sirius chuckles. “It was good to see you again darling but you must go back.” He pulls away and runs his fingers through my hair. “I’m always here, remember that.” 

I nod as he wipes the tears that had escaped my eyes and steps back, allowing me to follow Harry. 

***

“(Y/N)!” I hear Bella yell and turn to see her squealing and running towards me, letting go of Asher’s hand. She wraps her arms around me and I laugh, returning the hug. “Oh, I missed you. Next Christmas, you’re spending it with me.” I laugh as I pull away and nod. 

“How are you?” Asher asks, wrapping his arms around me right as Bella pulls away. “Fine,” I answer. “And yourself?” He nods and answers that he’s fine. 

Bella pulls out a box and I roll my eyes at her. “Bella we promised no gifts!” I groaned. She shakes the box and rolls her eyes. “Oh, would you just bloody take it! You know I do what I please!” I snatch it out of her hand and stick my tongue, childishly and she does the same. Asher laughs at the both of us and we glare at him. He stops immediately. 

As Bella and I remake eye contact, we burst into laughter at his scared expression and he sighs, letting go of a breath we didn’t know he was keeping. 

She locks arms with me as we walk inside the hallways, urging me to open the box and I laugh as I see what was inside. “A candle?” I question. She smacks my shoulder. “Don't upset its feelings. It smells good and it helps me sleep. Thought you might need something to help you as well.” I roll my eyes but thank you.

Asher says goodbye to us, wanting to go greet his friends. As we walk back to our common room, Bella tells me of her weeks off. How she had two Christmas dinners shared with Asher. One with him meeting her parents and vice-versa. She told of Asher’s mother whom she baked cookies with and had some in her bag to give to me. And his father who was obsessed with anything remotely related to art. She also spoke of Asher and his art skills. Never knowing he could sketch or paint until she saw his bedrooms, portraits hanging on the walls. A whole wall was dedicated to it, she said. 

Asher also carried a black sketchbook in the bag he always carried and how he let her go through it. She saw pictures he had sketched of her while she wasn’t walking. And even a couple of the both of us when we were with each other and he was sitting with Adrian. She said he had promised to show them to me when he got the chance. 

I smiled as I listened to her stories. It made me smile knowing she and Asher were going strong even if Adrian and I hadn’t worked out. She asked me about my holidays and I told her what had happened. 

How I spent time with my godfather, not mentioning it was Sirius. How Harry and I spent it with the Weasleys and I received a scarf from Mrs.Weasley. Of course, my story wasn’t as glamorous as hers but it made me happy and that was all that mattered. 

After going into the common room, we quickly set our things down in our rooms and met back in the common room to go to dinner. 

At dinner, we caught up with everyone. People went around in circles saying what they had gotten and what they had done. I simply listened. In the middle of a Slytherin boy’s story, I got a sharp pain in my head. I excused myself and went to my room to lay down. 

I arrived at the common room to find Draco sitting alone staring at a wrapped gift, too lost in thought. I knocked on the wood by the doorway and he looked up. “What are you doing here and not at dinner?” he asks. 

“Well hello to you too Draco. My Christmas was okay, how was yours?” I comment back. He rolls his eyes, “Hello (y/n), my Christmas was okay as well.” I nod in satisfaction. 

“And I could be asking you the same thing. But since you asked first, I have a headache. I wanted to lie down.” 

He leans back on the sofa, placing a hand around the back of it, the gift laid on his lap. “I wasn’t hungry,” he simply says. I rock on my heels. “Well then. Umm...if you’ll excuse me. I would like to go lay down now.” 

I walk past him and almost reach my bedroom until I hear my name and stop. I turn to see Draco standing, holding out the gift. “Would you like this?” he asks. I cock an eyebrow up, “Is it for me?”

He shrugs, “Well, I bought it for Pansy, and since we’re not dating…”

“Are you bloody serious?” I exclaim and scoff. “You’re unbelievable. Giving me a present because you don’t want to give it to your ex-girlfriend.” I turn and flick my hand in a shoo motion. “Go give it to someone of Pansy’s standards.” I shake my head as I enter my room and slam the door shut. 

_Good going, that totally helped your headache_. I laugh at myself. 

I changed quickly, surprisingly in shorts and a jumper because I was burning up but cold at the same time, and climbed in bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light. 

***

_I heard a sound of thunder coming from outside and jolted awake, looking around my bedroom._

_“(y/n)” I heard something call out to me. I left my bedroom and stepped outside, thinking it was someone outside my door but nothing. I shrugged and stepped into my restroom._

_Looking up, I saw myself in the reflection but not me. She leaned her hands on the counter. “Ready to do what we’ve been told to do?” she asks. Normally, I would yell and scream but I simply nodded._

_I felt relaxed, calm._

_I stepped out of the restroom and out the common room, towards the doors of Hogwarts. It was dark out, a storm brewing in the air and I knew what was about to happen. I felt it. Yet, I didn’t warn anyone._

_I didn’t want to…_

*** 

**Draco’s POV**

I slammed the door of my room after (y/n) slammed hers. _I bought it for Pansy_. Stupid. I didn’t buy it for Pansy. I never would. I saw it, it reminded me of Potter, and yet I wasn’t brave enough to just tell her that. 

I tried resisting buying it, I did. I was shopping with my mother when I saw it on the storefront. Glaring at me, my mum had laughed and forced me in to buy it, thinking it was for Pansy but I told her Pansy and I weren’t together anymore. She knew I was thinking of another girl and insisted on me giving it to her. 

If only she knew who the other girl was. A Potter. 

Dammit Malfoy, you’re supposed to hate each other. Truth is, I don’t hate her. I never did. She angers me all the time. And the last day of the mutual... whatever we were... should make me hate her. 

I thought it would make going to Hogwarts with her easier if she had grown to hate me but it didn’t. It was the exact opposite really. Everything she did got on my nerves. Challenging me to a match for Seeker. Getting with Adrian. Did she only do it because Pansy and I had gotten back together? 

I sat on my bed, throwing the gift on the bed and placing my head in my hands, running my fingers through my head in frustration. And I told her what I did...what we did...was a mistake. Bloody hell. 

I laid back and stared at the ceiling. I didn’t think it was a mistake. I never did. She made me feel different. Not Draco Malfoy, the boy who came from riches but just Draco. It was never my intention to have that type of relationship with her...it just happened. 

And when my feelings developed more, I pushed her away and got with Pansy, thinking it would help. Not to mention, my parents would not have liked it if their son was involved with Potter. Or at least I don’t think. But then she got with Cedric or grew closer. 

He was always her best friend but their feelings grew or at least I think they did. Did she ever feel for me what I felt for her?

Probably not. 

But what was going on with her now? The anger? The pain she felt? I tried thinking of so many reasons but none made sense. Even over the break, I had gone to the library, trying to find some sort of answers but found none. 

I asked my father who looked at me weird and confused but I walked away before he could question. I mean I sounded crazy. Asking someone if they knew of a condition where if someone became angry, they felt an extraordinary pain shoot through their body to the point where they passed out. And when they felt the pain, it sounded like they were dying and like someone was torturing them. 

Was she going crazy? I let out a sigh and looked at her gift. Sitting up, I take it into my hands and rip the wrapping paper. Opening the box, I take the item into my hands and grab the other two smaller items that came along with it. 

Groaning, I stand back and walk to the door opening it. As I was getting closer to Potter’s room, I saw the door cracked open a little and cocked my head to the side. Using my side, I pushed the door open a little but it was too dark to see. 

Trying not to wake her up if she was in here, I placed the gifts on her desk but when I tuned her bed was empty. I looked around her room but her coat and robe were still on the sofa so I walked out, closing her door. I went to her restroom and knocked on the door because the light was on. No answer. 

“Potter,” I knocked again. When there was no answer, I opened the door and she wasn’t in here. I walked to the common room and saw a couple of Slytherins. “Have any of you seen (y/n)?” They shake their heads. Bloody hell. 

I go to my room quickly, grab my coat, and make my way out of the house. Asking some people in the halls, they all shook their heads when I had asked about her. Some asked why and I sneered at them, telling them it was Prefect business.

The woods. I made my way to the door and walked out of Hogwarts following the bath I had done once before. Bloody hell it was freezing. And it was dark. Clouds roamed the sky. A storm was about to fall upon Hogwarts and if she was out here without a coat, she would freeze. 

I was about to turn back when I saw her, standing staring up at the sky with nothing but a jumper and shorts. I roll my eyes. “Potter!” I yell over the wind and she ignores me. I roll my eyes. “It’s freezing out here. Come on, back inside!” No answer. 

I walked towards her and grabbed her arm, it felt cold under my touch even with the thin jumper and her eyes… Her eyes were closed? “Potter, come on, not the time. You’ll freeze. Why didn’t you bring your jacket?” No answer. 

She was whispering something and I stepped in front of her. I placed my hands on either side of her cheek, “Hey, open your eyes.” Nothing but whispers. I leaned in to hear her. 

“Get me out,” she whispered. “Let me go. I don’t want to do this. Please.” 

I leaned away and stared at her in confusion. “(y/n),” I whispered. “Do what?” No answer. She was sleepwalking. “Wake up, darling,” I pleaded with her. She started to cry. And I grabbed her arms trying to shake her away. “(y/n), wake up. It’s alright. No one’s going to hurt you.”

Her whispers repeated and got louder until her eyes shot awake and met my eyes. “Draco,” she whispers in fear but before I could respond, she collapses in my arms and I wrap my arms around her as we both knelt on the ground. Dammit.

How was I going to get her to her room without anyone seeing? And she was freezing. 

Laying her on the cold ground for just a second, I took off my coat, the cold wind blowing right through me and I shivered. My hand wrapped around her back and brought her up as I tried to get her arms into the sleeves with one hand which was difficult but I managed. 

I picked her up, one hand under her knees and one under her neck. Her body felt cold and lifeless, all the color drained from her face as if she lost all her energy. I walked quickly to Hogwarts and looked around the hallways to make sure no one was around.

Then I made my way to her room, thankful everyone was still out of the house. I set her on the bed and quickly walked to my room, grabbing a pair of joggers, an extra blanket I had, and walked back.

She was still fast asleep but her face was filled with worry and fear. I touched her leg and it was as cold as ice, her face as well. As if she fell into a freezing lake and I had fished her out. I dressed her in my joggers, leaving her shorts on as well. Taking off my coat, I pulled back the covers and placed her in. And tucked her in the blanket I had brought, pulling her covers over her. 

I sat on the corner of her bed. She wasn’t wearing her glasses but she was frowning. Against every bone in my body, I raised my hand and touched her frown line. She immediately calmed a little. I cupped her cheek and ran my finger along her cold cheekbone. 

“Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” I whispered. I let out a sigh and removed my hand, standing and heading to the door. I stepped out and grabbed my handle, looking back despite something telling me not to. She was laying, still asleep. She shifted a little and I stayed still, frozen in case something happened but she settled and I let out a breath. 

I would find out what’s going on with her. But from afar. I couldn’t get close to her again. But I also couldn’t stand to see her like this. 

I would continue to let her think I didn’t care and we hated each other but more for my sake than hers. But knowing Potter, I would soon fall into her trap just as I had before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I hope you all loved this chapter and the FIRST Draco POV?! I was so excited to write it, haha but I'm curious if any of you know what happened at the end... comment on what you think!
> 
> Anyway, don't forget to kudos, please!
> 
> Much love<3


	17. Chapter 17

***TW: Mentions of suicide and panic attack happens***

I woke up covered in sweat and tears. I dreamt of Azkaban and the walls being destroyed. I dreamt of myself walking outside and the voice telling me to help the prisoners break out. I remember screaming at myself but I wouldn’t listen.

I felt like someone was holding my head underwater and not letting me come out until I'd reached a stage of submission and did what I was told. I cried and cried. Begging that I didn’t want to help. I didn’t want to open the gates of hell.

I remember feeling cold to the point of death. My body froze over and I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. For a second, I swore I said Draco’s name but it might’ve just been my subconscious.

But looking at my body, I woke in joggers. I swore I slept in shorts and these were large on my body. They were Draco’s. I knew it. I’ve worn them before but I thought I gave them back a year ago. I don’t remember getting up and changing. I was also wrapped in a blanket I wasn’t familiar with.

I brought my knees up to my chest and cried. I was scared. Frightened by a nightmare. Or what I was capable of. I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. Knight made some noise and I looked up to see him fluttering his feathers.

Sniffling a bit, I pull back the covers and stand. But immediately failed to stay standing. I stumbled lightly and grabbed the chair, steadying myself. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and stood once more.

I undo the clasp of his cage and set him free, smiling to see him happily settling on the trunk in front of my bed. I look back at my desk and see something I never owned.

I picked the journal up from my desk. A deep green journal with Slytherin’s crescent in the center. Next to it was a gold quill shaped like a feather with a tub of gold ink beside it. Looking confused, I looked everywhere for some sort of note that said who had left it but there was nothing. Sighing, I set it down and get ready for the day.

***

I walk to the common room to see everyone whispering. “Did you hear what happened?” a girl asks, coming up to me and showing me a newspaper. I shake my head.

Mass Breakout From Azkaban

I gasp and step backward. No. No. It couldn’t be. I grabbed the paper and continued reading it over. My eyes widened at the minister’s statement. He believed the breakout was because of Sirius? No! And Bellatrix Lestrange was the escapee.

 ** _What did you do Potter?_** I hear the voice in my head.

 _I didn’t do this._ This wasn’t me.

It laughs. **_Are you sure about that?_**

Flashes enter my head of my nightmare. Me standing outside watching the stormy sky. _Ready to do what we've been told to do?_ I step back remembering my reflection in the mirror. No way. 

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. My heart was racing. I felt like I was going to die. My chest tightened. 

I threw the paper on the table and rushed to my room, ignoring Bella's questions. I stormed into my room and grabbed my coat. The weather was still cold out and the snow was slowly melting. I walk out of the room and storm out of the common room, wrapping the coat around my body. 

I needed fresh air. Cold air. Something to cool down my heated body. I was shaking but it wasn't from being cold. I just...I didn't know what to do. What to say. 

Did I do this? I couldn't have. How would I have helped them escape from all the way in Hogwarts. But what I dreamed of. What I felt. I felt...darkness. I felt myself being dark. I felt myself give in to the dark part of me. But I also felt power. Power like I never had before. 

I took a deep breath, walking the path I have many times. I needed to go to my spot. Just to be alone. To think. To feel safe. 

I reach my tree to shed the snow off the bark to show the etched in markings Cedric once made. I needed something normal. Something that brought happiness. Instead of seeing Cedric's mark, I saw something black. Like it had been torched off. Did someone find it? Maybe I have the wrong tree. I step back and look at the trees around me but I realized it was the right tree. 

I touched the mark and instantly, the voice came back. 

**_Ahh the mark. Don't you remember what you did?_ **

_What are you talking about?_

_**You don't remember? Burning it off.** _

I shake my head no...no. I wouldn't do that. 

It laughs, **_Oh, but you would. You did._**

I step back a little and look at the scorched mark. I knelt down and placed my hands on my knees, trying to once again catch my breath. I closed my eyes and something allowed a memory to fall through the cracks. 

***

_**Well. How about we get rid of one of the things that causes you pain? Might I suggest the marking on the tree.** _

_I walked over to the tree Cedric and I once marked and placed my fingers on the mark._

_**You’ll feel much better. It’ll be one less thing to remind you of him.** _

_I nod and look at my wand. “ **Confringo** ,” I whisper and the tip of my wand shoots a fireball into the tree where the marking is. It burns it, the marks molding to the rest of the tree so it doesn’t exist anymore. _

_***_

My eyes shoot open and I stare at the mark, my hand over my mouth. "No," I say, allowed in disbelief. 

**_These things occuring are all your fault, Potter. Give in to your darkness. It will make you feel much better. Don't you remember how good it felt when you got rid of the mark?_ **

I shake my head. "No. Go away!" I say aloud. It laughs. "Stop laughing," I sneer. "I swear I will find a way to get rid of you. Whatever you are." 

**_I don't think so. Because in order to get rid of me, you must..._ **

"(y/n)?" Someone interrupts. I turn to find Draco approaching. "Who are you talking to?" I shake my head. "Draco, go away please."

He steps closer. "No, who are you talking to? There's no one out here." 

_Shall we have some fun?_ I turn away. "No!" I yell. "Darling, there's no one else here but you and I," Draco comforts walking closer. 

Draco grabs my arms and turns me to face him. I close my eyes and try to pull away. "Let me go!" I command but he doesn't budge. "Look at me," he softly says. "(y/n), look at me." 

_**Push him off...** No. **Don't disobey me.** No._

Pain flashes through my muscles in spasms. Like a knife being repeatedly stabbed. I think I let out a scream. I feel Draco let go and I fall to the ground. But in a split second, I feel him kneel beside me. _Stop please._ I continuously beg. _Stop._

"Potter, I'm not touching you," he questions. I realized I was begging aloud through my sobs. I shook my head. "Not...you," I croaked out. 

I feel anger rising through me. Not anger like before. But anger towards the voice. For manipulating me to burn one of my last remaining marks that holds memories of Cedric For causing me to want to hurt the people close to me. For causing me pain. 

I close my eyes and focus on my breathing. My mind. I focus on my mum and dad. Cedric. Harry. Hermione. Ron. Bella. Hell, even Draco. I feel the pain reducing all over my body. I feel the hold on me going away. I think of the memories of Cedric and with my friends. The memories that make me smile and feel loved. 

I finally start breathing normally. I stood quickly and walked back from Draco. I didn't know how long I could hold the door closed.

It felt like I was holding a lever down to keep the dam closed from letting the wave of pain inside. But the lever was attached to something I couldn't see, couldn't feel, like a string of invisibility pulling it in the opposite direction. It felt like I finally regained strength to stop drowning and pulled myself up to the lever. I used all my strength in me to close the dam. But with every second passed I grew weaker. 

My fear was giving the string power and weakening myself. I tried to not be afraid but how do you stop fearing yourself? Especially when you've seen what you do to your own body. If this wasn't even an inch of power, what could I do to others?

I turned away from him and began walking back to my room. Ignoring his cries asking me what was wrong and yelling my name. I began walking faster. My head was throbbing, feeling like someone was banging on the door harder. I pressed the palm of my hand to my head like that would somehow fix it.

I storm past the trees, looking down at the ground. I was going crazy. I was going to hurt people but it was only a matter of time. Was it my fault Bellatrix was able to escape? Did I do this?

A wave of pain pulses through and I stop for a split second. “Hey,” Draco whispers but I ignore him and shake him off, walking once more.

I knew people were staring when we got back to Hogwarts. I was racing down the hall, trying to get to my bedroom. I would write a note to Snape saying I was going to miss my classes today. I’ll face whatever consequences. It was better than this.

I walked down the stairs, Draco hot on my path. I passed the Slytherin walking to breakfast and through the common room.

“Hey,” Bella says, grabbing my arm. “What’s going on? Are you okay?” I shake my head. “Not now Bells.” She releases my arm immediately, eyes squinting at me in confusion. She knows I only call her Bells when I am angry, upset or being incredibly serious.

“I’m sorry. I’ll talk to you later. I’m not feeling well,”I sighed. She opened her mouth to say something but I walked away.

“Everyone out!” I hear Draco shout. “Go to breakfast! No one is allowed in until after classes!”

People begin walking out of the dorms towards the door out as I walk towards my room. I open and shut my door quickly, sliding my back against it. When I reach the ground, I pull my knees to my chest and let the tears out. My head falls to my knees.

Everything hurts. My head was throbbing. My chest felt tight. I couldn’t breathe. I felt sick. I heard my blood pounding in my ears. My heart beats faster. Slamming my head against my door, I brought my hands to my hair and pulled hard. I wasn’t in control of myself. I wasn’t… I wasn’t me.

I heard a knock on my door and I flinched. “(y/n), open the door,” I heard someone say but it was distorted. “Come on darling, open the door. Let me in.”

“Go away,” I mutter. “Go away...Go away...Go away.” My muttering continued and my chest began to tighten even more. The banging on the door didn’t make anything better. After a few moments, I couldn’t take it anymore. I stood and opened the door, Draco standing in front of it, his face drained of color as if he was worried.

I scoffed and laughed, shaking my head. I walked back towards my bed and sat on the trunk in front of it, placing my head in my hands, shutting my eyes. He walked in and shut the door. I heard his steps coming closer and opened my eyes, seeing his shoes right in front of me.

I felt his hands on my knees. “What’s happening?” he asks quietly.

I sigh and let a deep breath go. My knees shook along with my entire body. Pain surged through my body in flashes. My body was weak. Extremely weak. The voice was gone for now. I wasn’t that angry or upset, maybe that was why. But holding it back took a lot out of me.

I stood and walked away from Draco. “Draco,” I breathed. “Just go away. Leave me alone.” He shakes his head and stands. “No,” he sneered.

“Potter, you’ve been having horrible headaches, random pain as if someone was killing you, becoming so angry like I’ve never seen before, missing classes, having nightmares…”

“Stop!” I yell. “Just stop. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, okay? Is that what you want to hear?” He rolls his eyes. “I want you to confide in me. I worry about you, (y/n).”

I laugh maniacally and take a deep breath. I point at him. “You worry about me? Oh please Draco. Let’s not play this game with each other. You and I both know you can’t stand me. And you never cared. Why else would you regret everything? You can’t worry about someone who meant nothing to you.”

He glares at me, his hands curled to fists near his side. “Don’t tell me I never cared for you,” he shouted. “Claim I hate you. Bring up when I said I regretted our relationship but don’t ever.” He stepped closer. “Ever say I never cared for you because we both know that’s a lie. But I’m not here to talk about us. I’m here because you are…”

“Because I’m acting insane?” I say in a high pitched voice, throwing my hands in the air. “You’re here because I’m going insane. It’s okay, you can say it. It’s what everyone is thinking. And you know what they may be right. Now just go and let me be insane in peace.”

**_How many times must I tell you, you’re not going insane?_ **

“Oh shut up!” I yell. Draco looks at me in confusion. “I didn’t say anything?” he questions.

**_I did say accept me and your life would be much easier. You choose to make this difficult, darling._ **

_I swear if you don’t shut up and leave…_

**_You’ll what? Kill yourself? You do realize, I’m you. You can’t get rid of me._ **

_Maybe I will._

“Maybe you will, what?” Draco asks. **_Haha. Go ahead. Tell him what you’re planning to do. This will be fun._**

“Nothing,” I sneer. “Dammit Potter!” he yells once again and slams his fist into the wall. “Will you quit your stupid games and tell me the truth for once.”

“Why should I tell you?” I ask, the pounding in my head getting bigger. I kneel down, placing my hands on my knees. The tightness was back. I couldn’t breathe. I shut my eyes.

An image flashes through my mind. It was Harry, Hermione, Ron, Draco, Bella, and so many more people laying on the cold ground. Dead. A figure was over Harry’s body, a woman with a cloak. She turned to look at me and pulled her hood back. It was _me_. With a wand in my hand. She smiled and cocked her head to the side, waving her figures.

I shot my eyes open. _What the hell was that?_ **_You...Your true self. Oh and just letting you know, tell him about me and I’ll make it come true. Starting with Draco._**

 _No_. No. My head spun, I felt like I was going to fall but I couldn’t move. It was as if someone was controlling my body. My moves. I wanted to escape the darkness. My darkness but I couldn’t… I couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t I breathe? My vision became hazy and I tried blinking the tears away but I couldn't. I couldn’t see. My breathing was sharp and short. Draco was saying something but I couldn’t hear him. There was a ringing in my ear.

I managed to sit down and bring my knees up, rocking my body back and forth. My head in between my knees.

One of Draco’s hands was on my knee and his other on my hair. I still didn’t know what he was saying. I had no control over anything. “Draco,” I managed to blurt out. “Please leave before I hurt you.”

I felt his hands on my face. I tried breathing but I still couldn’t. I couldn’t see Draco. Even though my eyes were open. It was too blurry to see anything. I felt his hand coming up behind my neck while his other hand was on my cheek. He brought his forehead and placed it on mine.

And the next thing I felt was his lips on mine. He didn’t move and neither did I. I just held my breath. After a moment, he moved. But away from me.

I opened my eyes to find his staring back at me. “Why did you do that?” I ask quietly. He shrugged, his forehead against mine. “It’s how I used to calm you down during your panic attacks remember? Thought it would work this time as well. Open up to me, darling.”

I shake my head. “I can’t,” I croak out. “I can’t…” I continuously repeated the two words. I begin letting tears out once again. I hate crying. I hate feeling weak and out of control but I couldn’t take back control.

“Okay,” he mumbled and pulled me into his chest. I grabbed a fist full of his shirt. He pressed a kiss to my head and I closed my eyes. Just one day. We can go back to hating each other later but right now, I couldn’t be alone. I was afraid to.

We sat on the floor for a couple moments before I felt him move. “No,” I plead. “We can go back to our bickering tomorrow but please stay.” I even sounded weak. He sighed. “I’m not going anywhere, I was going to take you to bed. You can barely open your eyes. I’ll let Snape and Umbridge know we’ll be missing classes.”

I nodded against his chest and let go. He stood slowly and grabbed my hands, pulling me up. He walked to my door as I walked to bed. Opening it slowly, he looked around.

“Theo!” he called out to Theodore Nott, a pure-blood Slytherin. “Go let Umbridge and Snape know Potter and I will be missing class today.” I heard Theo talking but couldn’t make out his words. “Just tell them stomach pains, or Prefect business. I don’t bloody know.” He shuts the door and walks over to my bed, climbing in.

“Come here,” he whispers, stretching his arm out. I scoot to where he was and laid my head on his chest. He placed one arm around my waist and his other behind his head. One of my arms laying straight and the other around his torso. I closed my eyes and tried to have just one night of peace. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone! Hope yall had a fantastic few days before the update. I know I've been busy in America with all the election things going on...We still don't know who's our president it's a whole mess.
> 
> Umm just one thing I'd like to address, it's getting hard writing chapters with the time I have. I know I wanted to upload every Tuesday and Thursday but with University my time is flying by. So just know that that is the plan. However, there may be a few weeks where I only upload once. So yea just is patient, please.
> 
> Much love <3


	18. Chapter 18

I woke up and felt my headache, looking around the room. My mind was spinning over the past week. Draco and I have not once talked about our kiss a week ago. No one asked where we were all day. No one dared to talk about it, knowing Draco was part of the Umbridge’s squad.

He’s been keeping a close eye on me regardless. Watching me as I walk through the halls. Watching me at every meal. I could swear that he had a look of concern on his face when I spent some meals not eating. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to. Or that I was forcing myself not to. But I couldn’t.

Ever since my outburst with Draco, everything in my body ached. I couldn’t move much. I couldn’t focus on my work or papers. I couldn’t focus in class. Every piece of food I placed in my mouth tasted like metal and made me sick.

Some days, my body would growl for food. And I was starving. But I physically couldn’t eat. I knew it was Draco who had been leaving soup some nights outside my door. And I was thankful for it seeing how it was the only food that wasn’t food. The only thing that my body allowed for most days.

I looked at the clock and saw it was 3 in the morning but my body was wide away. I felt like something was pulling me through Hogwarts, beckoning me to come to it. I didn’t know what it was but I wanted to find out.

I moved my body to the side of the bed and stood up, my body hurting and throbbing. I had a feeling my cycle was coming soon. But I didn’t know when. I would always get cramps, terrible ones before I started. I was on birth control since years before, my cycle would be so terrible, I wouldn’t even be able to leave my bed. It helped more than I could ask for. It now only came every 6 months but my pills were about to run out and I would need to ask for more in the Hogwarts infirmary if I remembered.

I moved slowly, taking my Slytherin embroidered robe Cedric gifted for my birthday one year, and slipped on black slippers. Opening my door, I peered through to make sure the rest of the house was asleep before walking out, making sure my wand was in the inside pocket of the robe.

I walked slowly through the hall and out the common room to the halls of Hogwarts. I crossed my arms against my chest, the only light peeking through were from the torches along the wall, and walked towards the calling. I couldn’t explain it.

It’s like a beckoning call. Like when a wolf hears an Alpha’s howl and moves toward the sound. I couldn’t hear it however, I felt it. I turned the corner of the hallway and felt the feeling grow stronger. Leading me all the way to a classroom door.

I grab the handle of the classroom and open it, looking around to see if anyone was following. When I saw the coast was clear, I entered the room. I heard whispers upon entering the room. Whispers that were coming from under a sheet.

I realized I was in an abandoned classroom and a sheet was on top of an object that was bigger than I was. I walked towards the whispers and grabbed the sheets, pulling it off to reveal the Mirror of Erised.   
I gasped and took steps back, away from the mirror. Turning my face to the floor, I shut my eyes. Dumbledore warned me never to look into the mirror as it was dangerous as much as it was rewarding. It shows you your greatest desire in your heart and it leads some mad.

Whispers emerged from the mirrors and I turned my body, walking towards the door. “(y/n),” I hear someone say, a woman’s voice. My body stiffens and I don’t move. “(y/n),” it says again. “Come here, darling.”

Against every impulse in my body, I turn around and look up to the mirror, gasping at what I saw in front of me. It was Harry in the middle and behind him were our parents, their hands on either of his shoulders

I walk towards the mirrors with tears in my eyes, looking up at my mum. Her auburn hair flows like there was some sort of wind pushing it back, her green eyes as bright as ever. I looked to my right to see my father smiling at me, his glasses the same as Harry’s. His black hair brushed to the side and his hazel eyes looking into mine.

Looking at my parents, I always wondered how Harry managed to get more of them in his features than I did. My hair was a dark brown shade, almost black but not quite. And my eyes were brown, darker than my father’s hazel eyes. It’s as if everything about me was darker.

Harry was younger in the mirror. Not by much of what we were now. Maybe 2 years or so but he looked happier. I knew this is what my desire was even before looking in the mirror. It was one of my wishes that I could reverse back the clock to keep my family safe.

And this is what Dumbledore spoke of when he said the mirror was dangerous. Sometimes, you can’t ever achieve the wish the mirror grants and that drives people mad. I will never be able to get this, no matter how hard I tried because my parents were dead. They’ve been dead.

I look at the ground, blinking away the tears in my eyes. Suddenly, I hear a laugh. My laugh.

I shoot my head up to see a dark figure walking towards my mother from behind. And it looked like...me.

“Aww,” she mocks. “This is adorable. Mummy and daddy.” She cackles. “This is what you desire?” Scoffing she continues, “Please (y/n), I thought we were better than this. This is pathetic. You are pathetic.”

I cock my head to the side and back away. Closing my eyes and my fists, I say softly to myself, “You’re dreaming. You’re dreaming. You…”

“You’re not dreamingggg…” she sings. I look up to see her closer. Now standing in front of my mother and beside my brother. “You’re not.”

“Then why do I see you in the mirror?” I ask. “You are not what I desire. I desire you gone!”

She laughs and shakes her head. “Because I am a part of you and there’s nothing you can do about it. It would help everyone if you just accept this part of you. I don’t understand why you reject me. It would make your life so much easier. Being on the side of evil. Not giving a care in the world. Think of the chaos we could bring. The destruction. Might be easier to destroy Voldemort if you honed in on dark magic and stopped caring for your friends. In the end, they’re merely just collateral damage. Or you could join the Death Eaters, keep yourself from dying and call it a day.”

I shake my head. “No,” I scolded. “I told you once and I will tell you again, I am not giving in to whatever you are. I am destroying Voldemort for taking everything I love away from me. And for making the past few years hell.”

She hums and shrugs, picking something up from her pocket and walking behind my mother. In mere seconds, her arm latches around my mother’s neck and bringers her down slightly, pressing a blade to her neck.

“No!” I yell, walking forward towards the mirror. She looks at me with her eyes squinted. “Just because I can’t hurt you physically doesn’t mean I can’t damage your mind piece by piece,” she sneers. “You forget, I am in here along with your greatest desire. Let’s see what happens if I kill your parents in your mind. Never done it before. But we can find out together.”

“Stop!” I say once more, stepping closer and holding out my hand. She presses the blade a little harder, blood now coming. She stops her hand and turns to look at my mother. “What do you think mum?” She mocks. “Should I stop?”

My mother continues her gaze into my eyes. She doesn’t see me. She’s not real. It’s all in my mind. Right? You can’t kill someone already dead. But can you kill the memory of someone? Is that what’s going to happen to my mother’s image?

Without looking back at me, my evil counterpart slices the blade across my mother’s neck. I let out a scream and fell to the ground as I saw the life leave my mother’s eyes.

“(y/n)!” I hear someone call out and I feel arms being wrapped around me setting me down into their lap. “It’s okay. You’re okay,” I hear them say, running their hands through my hair. I sob and call out for my mum.

I feel my face being tilted until I look up at a pair of blue eyes. Draco looks concerned and glances at the mirror then back at me. “What did you see?” He asks, his voice lowers. I glance at the mirror and see nothing but our reflection.

“‘I…” Shaking my head, I continue. “I saw… my mum.” I gasped at the realization. “I killed my mum.” I looked back into his eyes with fear in mine. “Draco, I killed my mum.”

He shakes his head, placing a hand on my cheek to try to calm me down but it wasn’t working. I felt trapped. The mirror shows you your greatest desire. Was that mine? Was I becoming someone else?

“Darling,” he whispers. “You didn’t kill your mum. What are you doing down here? It’s 3 am.”

I sat up slowly, grabbing onto a chair nearby to help me stand up, Draco followed my moves but placed his hand on my back to help. Groaning, I turned to face him.

“How did you find me?” I ask. He rolls his eyes. “That's not important. What is important is what you are doing in an abandoned classroom looking into the mirror when you know we are not supposed to.”

“It’s none of your business,” I whisper, walking towards the door.

I was grateful Draco helped me calm down just a little but the only way he would have known I was here was if he followed me. And for the past week, he’s been watching me carefully without coming up to me.

But we haven’t spoken since the night he held me and he left the morning after before I had woken up. Did he regret it? Did he regret kissing me? I know he regretted everything else.

“Why did you kiss me?” I ask, turning around to face him. He looks at me with a confused expression. Throwing my hands up, I continued, “When I was on the ground panicking. Why did you kiss me?”

He let out a breath. “You know why. To help you calm down.” I scoff. “So nothing more? Just to help me calm down.”

“Bloody hell,” he rolls his eyes. “What do you want from me (y/n)?” I shake my head and turn around. “Nothing. I don’t want anything.”

The moment my hand touches the handle, his hand stops mine opening the door. “Stop that,” he hisses. I take my hand away from his. “Stop what? Draco?” I hiss back.

“Stop doing…” he waves his hands towards me. “This. Tell me what you want from me.”

I scoff and roll my eyes. “The truth. I want the bloody truth!” I yell. “Why did you follow me? Why did you care if I was in pain? Why did you kiss me? Why did you stay the whole day with me and hold me in your arms? Why have you been watching me the past week? You said you regretted everything from before so do you regret this? Do you really care for me or are you just playing undercover for Umbridge to see if I’m truly going insane? Because here’s your answer, I don’t know. I. Don’t. Know.”

He looks at me with his eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly open. I wait moments until I realize I won’t get an answer like always. Scoffing, I turn away and go to head out the door.

“Bloody hell,” I hear him mutter and before I know it, his hands engulf my waist and spin me around to pin me against the door. My mouth opens to say something but is silenced when he harshly puts his lips on mine.

My brain turned to putty and I couldn’t respond. I wanted to push him off. To slap him. To do anything to get him to stop. But I couldn’t. A part of me didn’t want to. Instead of pushing him off, I pulled him closer, grabbing the collar of his shirt.

My lips mold with his and I feel his tongue slip inside my mouth fighting mine for dominance. And that’s when my mind came back.

Pushing him off me, I brought my hand to my lips. “Does that answer all your questions?” he asks quietly. I tried searching my mind for an answer but instead, I opened the door and walked out, leaving him alone.

Instead of answering my questions, he confused me even more.

***

“Are you feeling alright?” Harry asks, sitting next to me on the floor. “You seemed distracted in class today.” I sigh, letting my head fall on his shoulder as I watched our friends tumble into the room.

It’s our first meeting back from break and hours since my encounter with Draco. After walking back to my room, I decided not to fall back to sleep -well more my body decided not to-and worked on some papers due for this week and next.

Turns out, I was also right about my cycle. It came moments before I was going to meet Bella to walk to breakfast. The cramps I felt throughout my body were horrible and my headaches have gone worse. Draco’s kiss made it hurt even more.

“Just cramps,” I replied. He nods in understanding. I’ve never felt embarrassed or weirded out to tell Harry when my cycle started or anything connected to it. He’s the only family member I had who would actually help me through it, making me tea and that I was comfortable. All my aunt would do was give me the supplies I needed and left me be.

“Are you going to practice today or should I leave you be?” I looked up at him and lifted my head off his shoulders. “Go ahead,” I nodded my head towards Ron and the twins. “I’ll be alright. Maybe I’ll catch up with you later.” He nods and goes to stand, kissing the top of my head when he’s kneeling.

He walks towards the trio and nods a hello to Hermione as she passes him and makes her way towards me.

“Are you all right?” she asks, giving me her hand to help pull me off the ground. I nod, “Yes, just cramps are all.” She hums in response, looking me up and down. “So, nothing to do with Draco then?”

I shoot my head to look at her and scrunch my eyebrows. “What do you mean?” I ask dumbly. She laughs and shakes her head, “Please, I saw the way you were ignoring him in class and breakfast...and break...and”

“Okay, okay Hermione. I get it,” I laugh. “But umm… yea he just pissed me off regarding some Slytherin Prefect business.” Yes, lie to your best friend. That’s a good idea.

Hermione rolls her eyes. “Ugh, don’t get me started. Ron gets on my nerves as well.”

I laugh along with her as we walk to the boys.   
The training continued. Students worked on all sorts of spells. They laughed and chatted about their breaks. I spoke to Asher and Bella for a bit as Asher worked on some of his spells. We talked about the OWLS and how they were coming up. Apparently, Asher was super ready for them and if he could take them tomorrow, he would. Bella and I shot him a look of disgust and burst into laughter. Bella exclaimed that if she could pay someone to do it, she would.

In the midst of us laughing, we heard rumbling and the floor slightly started to shake. I look up to see everyone stop their magic and Harry head straight for me. We turned to where the noise was coming from, where the mirror was. The lights flickered in and out. Hermione and Ron looked at Harry and me with a confused expression.

Suddenly, the glass mirror shattered and fell to the ground in pieces, leaving behind a brick wall and a hole in the center.

Asher stepped in front of Bella and me, holding his arms out of either side to push us behind him. Bella held onto his arm and reached over to grab my hand. I squeezed it in assurance.

“I'll make short work of this,” I heard Umbridge say as Harry stepped closer to the hole. He stepped back and looked at me as we heard Umbridge say her next few words, “Bombarda Maxima.” The wall erupted into pieces and Asher quickly turned around, shielding my best friend and me from the wall’s pieces.

I heard Bella let out a small scream. Looking back, Draco was holding on to Cho by her robe on her shoulder and my expression went from scared to angry. The moment he made eye contact with me, his eyes fell, and looked towards the ground but I tried stepping forward. Ron stopped me, placing a hand on my waist. “Don’t. Calm down,” he says quietly.

“Get them,” was the next words Umbridge said pointing at us. Draco let go of Cho and headed straight for me.

He grabbed my arm and I tried tearing it away. “Let go of me,” I sneered. He tightened his grip. “Come on,” he tugged. I rolled my eyes and followed. As he walked me behind Harry and Cho, I scoffed. “Should’ve known you would be following me. Was this your plan all along?”

“Would you keep your voice down?” he hissed. “I didn’t know you were apart of this stupid army.” I stopped our walking and tugged my arm back. “Stupid?” I questioned. “At least we’re preparing for what’s coming Draco. Or have you forgotten?”

He grabbed my arm once more. “Darling, would you just keep walking. We’ll talk about this later.”

We reached Dumbledore’s office and Draco had kept his hold on me as Umbridge talked with the minister which resulted in me giving him eye rolls and death looks. Draco tugged on my arms several times to stop my attitude but I, like a child, ignored him.

“And see, ‘Dumbledore's Army’,” Umbridge squeals. “proof of what I've been telling you right from the beginning, Cornelius. All your fear-mongering about You-Know-Who never fooled us for a minute. We saw your lies for what they were: A smokescreen for your bid to seize control of the Ministry.”

“Naturally,” Dumbledore said in return. Harry blurted out, “No, professor. He had nothing to do with it. It was me.” I rolled my eyes.

“Harry, you don’t have to protect me. It was me. I thought it would be the best seeing as no one has been teaching us how to defend ourselves for when the time comes. I-”

“Most noble of you, Harry and (y/n),” Dumbledore interrupts. “to shield me, but as has been pointed out the parchment clearly says ‘Dumbledore's Army,’ not ‘Potter's.’ I instructed the twins to form this organization. And I, and I alone, am responsible for its activities.”

I roll my eyes and go to say something else but Draco pinches my side with his other hand. I turn back to look at him but he pushes my body to stay facing forward. “Umbridge already has her eye on you,” he whispers in my ear. “Don’t give her a reason to bring up your pain episodes and craziness in front of the minister.”

“What?” I whisper back, trying not to draw attention to myself. “And you would really care if she did?” I could feel him roll his eyes because it’s something we seem to do a lot when we’re around each other. “I thought I…”

“Dispatch an owl to the Daily Prophet,” the minister says, grabbing my attention. “If we hurry, we should still make the morning edition. Dawlish, Shacklebolt, you will escort Dumbledore... to Azkaban... to await trial for conspiracy and sedition.”

“What!” I yell. Dumbledore laughs, “It’s alright darling. I thought we might hit this little snag. You, minister, seem to be laboring under the delusion that I'm going to... what was the phrase?...come quietly. Well, I can tell you this: I have no intention of going to Azkaban.”

“Enough of this,” Umbridge sneers. “Take him.”

A flash of red comes across the room which knocks several of the minister’s people back and Draco pulls us to the side.

“Well, you may not like him, minister…” Kingsley says. “but you can't deny... Dumbledore's got style.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone!
> 
> First and foremost, I am so sorry about not uploading for like two weeks. University has taken it's toll because we are nearing finals and my professors have been assigning so much work. However, I do have a 5-week break coming up next month so hopefully, I can get a bunch of writing done and go back to my uploading schedule.
> 
> Thank you so much for being patient, I much appreciate it!
> 
> Enjoy, much love <3


	19. Chapter 19

Two weeks. It's been two weeks since Dumbledore has left and Umbridge has taken her place as inquisitor. Everything has changed.

The happiness that once spread through Hogwarts has disappeared. Freedom has been taken away. Boys and girls weren't allowed to be within 8 inches of each other. It made Hogwarts feel more like a prison boarding school rather than a school of magic and learning.  
Not only that but our learning directory has slightly changed. We're not allowed to perform magic unless given authority or permission to. And we're focusing more on paper studies and lessons.

I, however, being Prefect am allowed to still perform spells if necessary but it seems Draco and Pansy were more respected than I am. Given that they were part of Umbridge's little squad, it seems rightfully so.

Draco tried talking to me the first week Dumbledore left but I didn't want to speak with him. Ignoring him at every turn, making sure I was never alone -either talking to or surrounded by people- and walking away from him when he does manage to get me alone was hard because I wanted answers as well.

I wanted to know why he was his reasoning for the past few weeks. Why did he do all the things he did if he hated me? Why did he protect me back in Dumbledore's office?

I was surprised he wasn't responsible for finding out about our army but never would I have thought Cho was the one who ratted us out.

And now because of her, here all of us were. Writing our punishment over and over again with Umbridge's enchanted pen. Every letter we write burns into our skin. But Cho didn't have to feel this because Umbridge had given her a pass.

Harry sat to my left and would continuously look over at me. I knew my brother. He blamed all of this on him. He felt like it was his fault but it wasn't. We all agreed to it. But I know, if I was in his position, I would feel the same.

I do feel the same. Every person was here because of us. Because Harry and I were the ones who talked of Voldemort's return.

After two hours of enduring pain and suffering, detention was over. I stood quickly, wanting to go back to my room as soon as possible. Wiping the tears on my cheeks from the pain that seeped through my hand. But before I could leave, Harry grabbed my arm.

"I'm sorry," he says, quietly. I shrug, "It's not only your fault Harry. I'll see you later." I gave him a quick hug and was on my way.

Cho tried to call my name and Harry's but we walked right past her. I made my way to my room, receiving a few stares from some of the Slytherins around me but ignored them.

I was going to wait for Bella but she was secretly going off with Asher. We haven't talked much in two weeks. It wasn't because of anything, I just haven't really talked to anyone since Dumbledore. Well, since the mirror incident.

I walked through the common room and to my room, shutting the door behind me, and let knight out of his cage. Letting out a sigh, I sat down at my desk and grabbed the journal. I still don't know who sent it.

I've been trying to figure out what to use it for since it appeared on my desk and found nothing. Sometimes, I would stare at it for hours.

I think this time I stared at it for twenty minutes before I heard a knock at my door. Knight flew to the arm of the sofa and looked back at me as I stood. Then, he flew and landed on my shoulder as I made my way to the door.

Opening it, I reveal Draco. "Can we talk?" he asks, looking down at the ground. "I don't know if that's a good idea," I say truthfully. I looked down to see he had brought the same kit from before. "Well, it's a good thing I'm not taking no for an answer," he says as he walks past me into my room.

I roll my eyes and shut my door. I cross my arms as I lean against the door.

"Well?" he looks back at me. "Come on, I don't have all day." Against every fiber in my body, I walk over to him. He looks down at my journal, which I've left open, and laughs. "Keeping a diary now, are you Potter?"

I close it with a slam and go to sit on my bed. "Not really, I usually just open it and stare at the pages because they're pretty." He cocks his head to the side and sits on my desk chair, facing my bed, and sets down the kit on my bed.

"You bought a journal but have nothing to write about?" I shrug, "I didn't buy it. It was a gift, I think. Someone left it on my desk."

He stayed quiet and took out some sort of ointment, taking my injured left hand. I write with my right, the burn appears on the left.

"Did you know?" I ask after moments of silence. He didn't look up from my hand nor did he speak. But answered with a nod. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"To you or Umbridge?" he asked and applied another ointment. I hissed at the cream, it burned my skin a little before going away. "Sorry, but I don't know the answer to either."

We stayed quiet while he helped the burn on my hand. While he wrapped it in a bandage-like before. I didn't know why he was helping me especially since we haven't talked much. This is the longest we've stayed in each other's presence in the past two weeks.

"I want to help you," he whispers. I take my hand away from his. "You already did...thank you."

"That's not what I'm talking about," he leans forward, placing his arms crossed on his knees and leaning forward. He looks at the ground and his gaze stays there as he continues. "I want to help you get better."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I go to stand but he grabs my wrist and looks up at me. "Don't bullshit me, darling."

I let out a breath and looked up at my ceiling. "I don't even know how you can help. I don't know how anyone can," I confess. "I haven't even told Harry or Bella or anyone. You only know because you continue to follow me and spy on me, Draco."

He stands from his seat and turns my body to face him. "Why don't you tell me what goes on? Like truly. Because I know though I may see what happens, I don't know what happens in your head."

I let out a shaky breath once more and looked up at him. How do I tell him? How do I tell him about the voice in my head? Or the pain that I feel? Or the headaches and blackouts?

I don't know if I began crying or if he saw something was wrong. But I felt his arms wrap around me and pull me close. I felt the tear down my cheek. I was scared. I have been scared. But what if telling him puts in more danger? What if he couldn't help me?

"Please just let me help before you hurt yourself," he murmurs near my ear.

"Okay," I whisper.

***

"Are you ready?" Bella asks me as I step into the common room. I shrug and take in a deep breath."Ready as I'll ever be."

She linked her arms with mine as we made our way to the testing area. Today is the day. The day we spend months preparing for.

The day of the O.W.L.S exam.

To say I was nervous was an understatement, I was terrified. I've been so caught up in my head that I haven't studied most of the material. I was afraid of failing. Afraid of something going wrong during the exam, like the voice coming back. But I knew if it did, I had to keep quiet.

I couldn't show anyone I was going crazy during the exam. It wouldn't end well for me.

"Hello," Hermione waves over at us. I wave back and smile, walking towards her, Ron, and Harry. "Are you ready for the exam?" she asks Bella and me.

"Am I?" Bella exclaims. "I've been studying for this since the first year."

I just shrug, "Ready as I'll ever be..."

We all enter at the same time and take our seats. Draco was sitting at the table next to me on my right. He glanced over a couple of times but said nothing. Even though it's been 2 days since he asked to help me, we haven't talked. I think we mutually agreed without talking that this needed to stay between us and no one should know. Not only would people talk and question Draco and I being mutual, but they would begin to ask questions. Obviously, that's something I don't want.

Umbridge called out a few rules before the exam. We had to start at exactly 1600 hours and finish no later than 1800 hours. She stood in front of a large clock that swung back and forth. Papers and quills were on the desks. Each one spaced out evenly.

Calling out to begin at exactly the hour 1600, I picked up my quill and opened my book. I stared at the questions. 

Question one- What is the correct spell to vanquish a boggart? Easy, Riddikulus

Question two- How would you summon an object? Accio

Question three- Who is the author of _A History of Magic_?

What? The author? How would I bloody know? Why is that even relevant? I set down my quill and stared at the question before me. I didn't know the answer. Not one clue.

Looking up, I saw Harry also not looking at his exam but Umbridge. She smiled at him and then at me. I felt a pang of anger flow through my body. I hated her with every core in my body. If it wasn't for her, Dumbledore would still be here.

It's not to say Dumbledore didn't have faults. We all do. But I owe him a lot. He raised me slightly here at Hogwarts. He was my mentor. And now he was gone. And I didn't know when he would be back.

I shook my head of my thoughts and went back to my exam. I decided to skip the question and would return to it later.

Just as I was struggling with the next question, I felt rumbling on the ground. Everyone looked up as the sound of the ground continued. Umbridge glared at us all and began walking down the path to the doors as it continued.

A firework flew into the Great Hall and exploded. I looked at Harry and he shrugged. Then we heard cheering as Fred and George flew in and threw fireworks. Laughter and cheering began. I stood next to Hermione and laughed, shaking my head at the twins.

A large firework exploded showing some sort of creature and began chasing Umbridge outside the hall and looked as if it engulfed her. Then it was silent until all of the framed rules fell to the ground. Everyone stood and ran outside the halls. 

Bella grabbed my hand and ran with them. Fred and George flew to the sky, throwing some last firework which exploded into a W for Weasley. I laughed and shook my head, clapping, and cheering next to Bella.

But it didn't last long.

My head began to spin and I stopped moving, grabbing the side of my head. Everything began to get hazy and loud. A ringing in my ear occurred. I lost all my balance.

But I never hit the floor. Instead, I felt arms wrap around me from behind.

From a distance, I saw Harry at a distance as well on the ground.

I closed my eyes, feeling a headache, and saw Sirius.

"I need that prophecy," I heard someone say but couldn't make out who it was.

Sirius inhaled deeply, "You'll have to kill me."

The voice returned but this time I saw his face. Voldemort. "Oh, I will. But first, you will fetch it for me." He pointed the wand at Sirius. "Crucio." Sirius groaned in pain. "Crucio."

I felt arms wrap under me and the sound of the crowd lesson. "What happened?" I hear Draco ask.

"I'm okay," I look at Draco. "Put me down." He sets me down gently and I stand, grabbing onto his arms to hold me steady. "What happened (y/n)?" he asks again with more force in his voice.

"I don't know," I answer truthfully. "Where's Harry?" I look around towards the crowd to where Harry was but don't see him nor do I see Hermione and Ron. Bella wasn't where we were either. I start to walk, trying to find Harry or anyone but see no one.

Draco grabs my arm and turns me back to face him. "He went up the stairs. I saw him go with Hermione and Ron." Before I can say anything, he grabs my hand and speed walk to where the staircase was, making sure no one saw us. I realized we were heading towards Umbridge's office and I prayed Harry wasn't stupid enough to go in there.

When we got to the entrance where Umbridge's room was located. Draco stopped abruptly and I smashed into his hack. "Draco," I hissed. He shushed me and pushed me a little way back, holding me against the wall. I try to shove him off but he shoots me a glare and holds me to the wall.

"That you are!" I hear Umbridge screech and I stop moving. Harry. I mentally facepalm myself.

It was quiet for a couple of moments until we heard the surround speaker blare out Umbridge's voice. "Inquisitorial Squad, please bring (y/n) Potter and any 5th years who seem suspicious in today's actions to my office. Now."

Draco looks at me. "Do you trust me?" he smiles. I shake my head. "Not one bit."

"Looks like you have no choice today, darling."

He grabs my arm and shoves me forward, I feel the tip of his want on my neck. I see Crabbe and Doyle walking towards the office and they walk in first. Neville, Ginny, and Luna are all walking in and I'm the last to enter.

Draco pushes me forward. And waits a couple of moments after their entry.

"Found this one lurking around the hallway," he calls out, pushing me in and seating me on the chair next to Harry in front of Umbridge. By the look on Harry's face, I know he's seen what I have.

Umbridge looks at the both of us, "You, Harry, were going to Dumbledore weren't you?" Harry answers, "No." With a hiss of "liar", she slaps Harry.

"Don't touch him!" I yell. She looks at me and smiles. Her hand finds the back of my hair and tugs so my head lifts to look at her. Before she could speak Snape walks in.

"You sent for me headmistress?"

She snaps her head up, releasing my hair. "Snape, yes. The time has come for answers, whether he wants to give them to me or not." She smiles. "Have you brought the Veritaserum?"

Snape looks at her with a cold stare. "I'm afraid you've used up all my stores interrogating students. The last of it on Miss Chang."

I look at Harry. So Cho didn't give us up willingly. Umbridge used a truth serum on her. Why that little...

"Unless you wish to poison them. And I assure you, I would have the greatest sympathy if you did." He glances at me. "I cannot help you."

"He's got Padfoot," Harry exclaims as Snape walks out. I look at him in confusion. Why would he say that in front of Umbridge? "He's got Padfoot at the place where it's hidden."

"Padfoot?" Umbridge questions. " What is Padfoot? Where, what is hidden? What is he talking about, Snape?"

Snape turns around and looks at Harry and me. I nod slightly in confirmation. "No idea," he says coldly.

"Very well. Ms.Potter? Will you like to enlighten me on the matter?" She turns to me.

I swallow and glance slightly at Draco and Harry from the corner of my eyes. Then meet Umbridge's cold stare with one of my own.

"You give me no choice, Potter. As this is an issue of Ministry security you leave me with no alternative. The Cruciatus Curse ought to loosen your tongue."

"That's illegal," Hermione interrupts.

"What Cornelius doesn't know won't hurt him," she says coldly. She turns around and points the wand at the both of us.

"Tell her, Harry!" Hermione yells. I glance over at Harry and Hermione. Then over to Ron who gives me a slight nod. They know something that I don't. "Well, if you won't tell her where it is... I will."

"Where what is?"

Hermione looks at me and answers, "Dumbledore's secret weapon."

***

I paced around my room anxious for Harry's return. After Hermione stated she would take Umbridge to the secret weapon, only the three went. Harry promised to return for me but when Umbridge was going to take me with them. Harry had told her I knew nothing about it and for a moment she hesitated. Until she ordered Draco to take me back to my room and ensure I stayed there.

Draco did follow me back but in complete silence and when we got to the Slytherin halls, I quickly went to my room, not allowing him to follow, and thankfully, he didn't.

I wanted to know what secret weapon Hermione was talking about and why they didn't tell me about it.

I felt a little betrayed. We always told each other everything, Harry and I. I questioned why he didn't tell me this. Did he not trust me anymore?

**_Feeling betrayed, are we?_ **

No, not now. **_Don't you miss me, Potter?_**

_No, not really._

**_Well, whether you like or it or not, here I am. Now feeling betrayed by family? You know we could make you the desired Potter twin everyone wants. You don't have to feel left out or inferior to your older brother._ **

_I don't feel inferior. He probably had a good reason not to tell me. Now, leave me alone._

I was annoyed. More annoyed than I was before. And I felt angry but not at Harry. At this thing. It was getting quite old and I was getting quite sick of it. It made me feel horrible.

I paced around my room at the end of my bed. It's been an hour since Harry left. A whole hour. And I still don't know where he was.

**_Maybe he lied._ **

_Or maybe he didn't. Would you just leave me alone?_

**_Feisty, feisty. Not holding back on me anymore, are you? You used to be afraid._ **

_Well, now I'm just annoyed._

A felt a sharp pain in my head and fell to my knees, holding the side of my head as I bowed on the floor. A ringing in my ear started that got louder by the second.

**_Potter...Potter...Potter..._ **

**_When will you learn to stop disrespecting me?_ **

As soon as the voice hissed, I felt the breath leave my body. Like a snake was circling my body and squeezing. Like the air was being forced out.

I couldn't focus on which pain hurt most. One hand grabbed my head as the other grabbed my throat. "Stop," I wheezed out but the squeezing tightened. "St-"

I felt the oxygen in my head leave me. My eyes began to be heavy. My head felt like a ton of bricks. I tried my best to keep my eyes open. But they felt heavy.

I couldn't do anything but close my eyes and hoped someone would find me. 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I've missed you all. I'm sorry this is a short chapter but it's kind of just a filler for now because some big things will be coming up very soon. I may finish Order of the Phoenix all in the next chapter or split it up into two but I'm excited to get into the Half Blood Prince because that's where the real fun begins!
> 
> Love you all xxx
> 
> Please don't forget to kudos and comment!


	20. Chapter 20

**Harry’s POV**

I made my way to the Slytherin house the next morning after we handed off Umbridge away to the Centaurs. I tried coming back to my sister last night but no one would open the door to the common room for me, leaving me no way to get it. 

This time, I sent word to Bella and she said she would let me in and if anyone saw a problem with it, they would have to deal with her. 

I just hoped (y/n) wasn’t mad. 

We didn’t keep the secret of the giant away from her on purpose. She chose not to come with us that day we went to Hagrid and found out. Then, we didn’t really find the right time to tell her. 

I mean what were we supposed to tell her? _Hi, well we met Hagrid’s half brother giant in the woods today. Would you like to go eat dinner now?_

No, it doesn’t make any sense. 

A couple gave me weird glances as I walked towards the common room door. Isabella waits for me by the entrance and smiles as she looks up from admiring her wand. She greets me quickly and says the passcode quietly. 

Then says goodbye because she needs to go meet Asher apparently. I walk into the common room, everyone’s head shoots over in my direction. A couple says hello, a couple gives me a weird look, and the rest simply don’t care. 

Draco walks out of the entrance from the hallway. “Potter,” he snorts. “What are you doing here?” 

“Here to check on my sister Malfoy,” I rolled my eyes, walking past him and towards the door that I was in merely weeks ago when she was yelling in pain. 

We don’t talk about this day at all. Any time I were to bring it up, (y/n) would shut it down almost immediately. I have a feeling she knew something about why her body suddenly burst out in pain. A part of me thought Draco said a spell on her because it only ever happened when he was around. 

When I brought slight mention of him being behind this, she yelled at me, called me a twit, and walked away. We didn’t talk for almost three days after that. 

Then, she started acting strange. She would always space out or act as if something in her head was bothering her. And when Mr.Weasley’s dream came to us, I figured maybe Voldemort was trying to get in her head for longer than with me. But the strangest thing happened when we were in Snape’s office. 

She rejected him almost immediately. And the sound that came out of her mouth when she yelled no...it didn’t...it didn’t sound like her. It sounded much darker, deeper, and nothing like my sister. Even Snape had an odd look on his face, trying to see past how she was able to block him so quickly when we had never heard of this. 

Maybe if my theory is right, if she has dealt with Voldemort trying to get in her head longer than I have, that she’s had more time to figure out how to block him. Or maybe something else entirely was going on that she isn’t telling me about. 

One thing was for sure, I was worried about her. Ever since Cedric’s death, she’s changed. And not in a good way if I was being completely honest. She and I needed to have a long chat but that could wait until we were done with this one thing. 

I knocked on her door a couple of times but no answer. I didn’t hear anything on my side of the door. I knocked again. Nothing. 

“(y/n)?” I call out and knock again. Taking out my wand, I said the unlocking charm and opened the door. She wasn’t in her bed but on the floor. 

“What the bloody hell?” I closed her door and ran to her side, crouching down near her body. 

I moved the hair that was in her face and shook her body. “(y/n)?” I tried waking her but there was nothing. I shook her shoulder again and quickly moved my fingers near her pulse on her neck. 

Panic quickly rose in me. But just as I placed my fingers, I heard her groan and released the breath I was holding. “You are unbelievable, wake up.” 

She groans again and slowly opens her eyes. “Harry?” she asks, her face held a confused expression but quickly turned to panic, sitting up quickly and placing her hand on her neck. 

“What happened?”

I raised a brow. “Umm, I found you sleeping on the floor and woke you up. Sorry for not coming back yesterday, no one wanted to let me in.” 

She nodded slowly, her hand still on her neck. “Right, I fell asleep on the floor,” she repeats my words with continuous nods. And turns to me, “What was the second thing you said?”

“Are you feeling alright?” I asked with care, placing my head on her forehead which she was quick to smack away. “I’m fine,” she laughs. “Just was really tired.”

I stare at her for a few moments as she takes her hand off her neck. And in place, I saw slight bruising. “Anyways, why are you-”

“What the hell is that?” I ask angrily, tugging at her collar to see more bruising as if someone had choked her. But there were no fingerprints visible, it was just like it was a rope, a very long wide rope. She tugs her collar back. “What is what?”

She stands quickly and walks toward her mirror next to her closet and looks at the bruised. I could see her eyes quickly panic and she took steps slowly back like she was afraid of herself. I stood quickly as she walked into her small closet. I heard some shuffling as I stood. 

After a couple of minutes, she walks out with jeans and a black turtleneck, hiding the bruise. 

“Is it noticeable?” she asks, panicked. I shake my head, “Where did you get it from?” 

She stays quiet and tries to go for the door. “I’m not in the mood for this,” I snare, grabbing her arm. “Please let me help you. Is someone hurting you?” 

She looks everywhere but my eyes, avoiding the question. I tug on her arm. “Can we please talk about this later?” she asks, looking into my eyes. I could see the hurt in them as the tears clogged them. “We have to worry about Sirius right now.”

She’s right. I nod and let go of her arm. She wraps her arm around my torso and hugs me tightly. I hesitantly hug her back. “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you (y/n),” I tell her. “I promise.”

***

**(y/n)’s POV**

I wasn’t dead. Even though I felt the air leave my body, I wasn’t dead. I passed out. And it scared me. It was the closest I’ve ever gotten harmed. 

Even though I didn’t feel extreme pain like last time, this time I could’ve actually died. Or could I? A part of me believed I couldn’t. Because of this voice is within me and somehow we are one. Can it really kill me if I lose all consciousness?

Besides, I knew it wasn’t its goal. Its goal was for me to give in. To me becoming the supposed “evil” twin everyone jokes about me one day becoming. It wasn't me to come to the dark side. I couldn’t come to the dark side if I was dead.

One of the things that truly scared me was the bruise it left behind. I‘ve been suffocated before but this was the first time a true mark has been left on my body. 

Harry couldn’t see it but I could. Looking at the bruise in the mirror, it was shaped like the body of a snake. A thick robe bruise that spread across my neck the size of three fingers put together. 

My throat ached but I tried not letting it show too much when Harry came in the morning. 

I knew with every day passing this _thing_ was getting more serious and eventually, I needed to tell Harry but first I needed to know what to say. How do I even explain it without sounding absolutely insane? 

“We have to hurry,” Harry says urgently, opening my door. “Sirius is in trouble.” 

I nod in agreement and walk out the door, Bella waited for us in front of my door. “Are you okay?” she asks me with a look of concern. I raise my brow at her. “You’re tearing up.”

I hurriedly wiped under my eye and gave a small laugh. “I’m okay. Come on.” 

We walk quickly past everyone in the common room and out the Slytherin House door. 

I would ask Harry about Umbridge later because she was the least of my concerns at the moment, all that mattered was she was gone. 

***

We met up with Hermione soon after leaving the Slytherin House. “Hurry!” she urges as she runs toward us. We run down the bridge seeing Ron, Ginny, Neville, and Luna. 

“How'd you get away?” Hermione asks them as we get closer.

“Puking Pastilles. It wasn't pretty,” Ginny asks. 

Ron hands Hermione and Harry their wands. “Told them I was hungry, wanted some sweets. They told me to bugger off and ate the lot themselves.”

“That was clever, Ron,” Hermione smiles. I look over at Isabella and we roll our eyes. The chemistry between them is undeniable. Yet, I don’t think they see it.

“Has been known to happen,” Ron shrugs it off. “It was brilliant Ron. Don’t downplay it,” I say back. 

“So how are we getting to London?” Neville asks.

“Look,” Harry sighs, “It's not that I don't appreciate everything you've done, all of you... but I've got you into enough trouble as it is. This will be up to (y/n) and me.”   
I nod at my brother and follow him as he walks forward. But Neville stops us. “Dumbledore's Army's supposed to be about doing something real. Or was that all just words to you?” 

“Harry he’s right,” I tug on Harry’s sleeve. “We don’t have to do this by ourselves anymore.”

Bella laughs. “Harry if you think I’m staying back, you are sorely mistaken. So how are we going to get to London?” Luna smiles, “We fly, of course.”

Everyone looks at her with a confused look. She looks at Bella and she smiles. What were these two planning?

“Lead the way Luna,” Neville says with glee. 

She walks past Harry and me, leading us to the woods. We tried our best to be as secretive as possible without drawing too much attention to ourselves. If anyone knew what we were doing or where we were going. We would definitely be in so much trouble and probably locked in our rooms. Especially for Ron, Hermione, I. This would injure our Prefect status. 

I could’ve sworn I saw Draco peering over the doorway of the Hogwarts door watching us walk into the woods but he never said a word. Never called out for us. 

A part of me wondered if I would ever see him again. Or this place again. Every time Harry and I had to go through something like this, there was always a chance of us being hurt or even worse die. And every time, my heart beats in my chest at an extremely fast pace. But I couldn’t let my fear control me. Instead, I let it fuel me. I needed it to or I would drown in my fear. 

“Thestrals?” Harry asks when we arrive in a field of the skeleton horses with wings that I once saw when I arrived in Hogwarts earlier this year. So, I wasn’t imagining them in the first place. “Good idea, Luna.”

I walk over towards a thestral and approach it slowly. Its body was big and bony. And its faces weren’t shaped like a horse but more of a dragon. Its nose reminds me of a nose beak. Its eyes were white and no pupil's insight. 

It neighed deeply and slowly approached. I sucked in a deep breath.

“Don’t be afraid,” Luna says from behind me. I turn around to see her smiling, a thestral trolling slightly behind. “It’ll help those in need and good hearts.”

She walks towards me and grabs my hand. The thestral comes closer as she reaches my hand out to touch the bony body. It ducked its head lower. “Hi,” I whispered to it. 

“Pretty incredible,” Harry laughs and I turn my head to see him riding his. “Get on, little sister.” I shake my head at him and climb on the body on mine as Luna rides hers. 

“Please don’t drop me,” I say to it. A sound emerges from it as it thrusts in the air. I hold on to the bone on it’s back and suck in a deep breath. 

The rest of the team follows soon after me. My thestral flies next to Harry on his right and Bella flies on my right. The wind rushed through my hair and I was glad that I had grabbed a jacket before I left the house.

My mind floated to Sirius, I hoped he was okay. Whatever I saw, I didn’t know whether it happened or it was going to happen. Last time with Mr.Weasley, we got the vision seconds before it was happening and we were too late to prevent it. But we did save him from his death. I’m afraid we’ll be too late this time as well.   
I couldn’t lose Sirius, he was the only father figure I had left. I couldn’t lose him too. Not this soon after losing Cedric. I still wasn’t over Cedric’s death and I don’t think I’ll ever be. He haunts my dreams and thoughts almost every second. Everything reminds me of him. 

And I burned the last visible mark I had of him. I did that. And I despised myself for it. How could I? I barely remember that day let alone that moment. But it wasn’t me. I would never do that. Right? 

The more I began thinking about it, the more my head pounded. It was like someone was repeatedly smashing my head on a wall whenever I tried to access the memory. Wouldn’t the voice want me to remember? Or was it my subconscious protecting me from the pain I would feel if I remembered everything that happened? 

“(y/n),” I hear Harry say from beside me. I turn my head to look over at him. “You need to stick by my side. Whatever happens, I can’t lose you.” My lips curl into a smile, “Same to you, big brother.” 

We finally made it to the Department of Mysteries after a long time of flying, the night sky rose and thunder was clasping from all around us. 

The moment we landed, we took off running to the Ministry. It was quiet and no one was around but us. But something felt wrong. Something was wrong. 

I could feel it in my core. My body began to shake and my head began to pound, a ringing in my ear emerged. I tried to conceal my groan but I think Harry caught it as he grabbed my hand while we stood in front of the elevator, waiting for it to open. 

He gave me a concerned squeeze and looked at Bella on my side and I knew they were both worried. But with Harry’s hand laced in mine, the ringing began to die down and my head's pounding lessened. 

He kept my hand laced in his as we walked inside the elevator and made our way down. After seconds, the door opened again and we all stepped out. 

No one was here and no sound echoed off the walls. But I could feel the cold flow through my body. And I knew it was only a matter of time before something went wrong. Something didn’t feel _right._

“This is it,” Harry says, a cold look on his face and another squeeze to my hand. I could tell he was frightened but didn’t want to speak of it aloud.

We walked straight to the other side of the wall, no one speaking a word. No one’s breath made a sound. As we stepped in front of the door, I bent down to grab my wand from my boot and spoke to it as did everyone. We all said the Lumos incantation quietly and our wands began to glow. 

Harry opened the door slowly and turned back at me for reassurance. I squeezed his hand and nodded my head. 

Walking down the dark hall, I could barely see what was around me. I think they were orbs of all sizes. 

I tug on Harry’s hand, “Harry.” He looks back at me as I look at the numbers embedded on the corner of every shelf. “Ninety-five,” he whispers. I nod in confirmation, remembering the number from my vision. 

He begins to walk fast and speaks the numbers aloud. I drag along behind him. We pass the numbers quickly. 

Ninety-two. 

Ninety-three. 

Ninety-four.

Ninety-five.

But no one was here. I furrow my eyebrows looking around. Nothing. No one. 

“He should be here,” Harry frantically says, looking around with me. 

My chest begins to tighten, were we too late? Sirius. He was the last family I had left beside Harry. I couldn’t lose him. He was the last father figure. _I couldn’t lose him._

“Potters,” Neville says from behind us and I whipped my head over so fast, I felt a strain in my neck. In front of him was a globe and it was glowing? “It’s got both your names on it.”

I let go of Harry’s hand and walk over to Neville, Harry following behind closely. 

I could feel the glow calling to me, urging me to pick it up. It was like a siren calling to a human out in the deep sea. 

My hand reached out to grab it and I slowly took it down. Harry stood next to me as I turned to look at him and then look down at the globe. A hoarse sound of a woman began speaking with her face distorted and white, 

**_The ones with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches. And the Dark Lord shall mark them as his equal...but they shall have power the Dark Lord knows not. For none could live while the other survives. But be warned, if one of the lights turns to the darkness, the Dark Lord’s terror shall reign. As you need both halves of the heart together to tear down one that has none. And if one half darkens, it will not only be the Dark Lord the world will have to fear but it as well. Save the light before it fades and before all humanity fades with it._ **

The voice fades just as Hermione yells, “Harry! (y/n)!”

I stay still, stunned and staring at the orb as Harry walks towards it. 

“Where's Sirius?” I hear him ask. 

“You saw only what the Dark Lord wanted you to see,” I hear a voice say but not just any voice. I marched over to Harry’s side hoping I was wrong but I wasn’t. “Now, hand me the prophecy,” Draco’s father says. 

I looked down at the orb and something inside me wanted me to hand it over. I didn’t realize I stepped forward until Bella grabbed my arm and pulled me a little ways back. 

Harry yanks it out of my hand. “If you do anything to us, I'll break it.”

“He knows how to play!” a high screeched voice comes from behind Mr.Malfoy. “Itty, bitty baby.” Bellatrix Lestrange comes to Mr.Malfoy’s side. “Potter,” she sneers.

“Bellatrix Lestrange,” Neville says with shock. 

She laughs mechanically, “Neville Longbottom, is it? How's Mum and Dad?” His face grows angry as he holds up his wand, “Better, now they're about to be avenged.”

She tries to walk forward and I hold up my wand. “Now, let's everybody just calm down... shall we?” Mr.Malfoy holds his hands up. “All we want is that prophecy.”

“Why did Voldemort need us to come and get this?” I ask, disgusted at the man in front of me. “You dare speak his name?” Bellatrix whispers at me before yelling. “You filthy half-blood!”

Anger boiled inside of me and I wanted to attack but Bella was holding me back. 

“It's alright. She's just a curious lady, aren't you?” Mr.Malfoy says calmly. My anger rises even more. Did Draco know his father was a Death Eater? Was he a Death Eater? “Prophecies can only be retrieved by those about whom they are made. Which is lucky for you, really. Both of you.”

My mind spins and a ringing begins but I try to push it aside. Anger boils in me like water boiling on a stove. 

“Haven't you always wondered? What was the reason for the connection between you and the Dark Lord?” Mr.Malfoy begins to ask, walking closer to us. “Why he was unable to kill you when you both were just infants? Don't you want to know the secret of your scars? All the answers are there in your hand.” He reaches his hands out to Harry. “All you have to do is give it to me. Then I can show you everything.”

I look around to see more Death Eaters have approached us. Harry looks down at the prophecy, “I've waited 14 years.” Mr.Malfoy clicks his tongue, “I know.”

“I guess I can wait a little longer. Now.”

“Stupefy!” We all charge at once, bodies flowing back. I grab the globe from Harry and begin running. 

Death Eaters block our path left and right. Harry and I had gotten split up as I ran with Bella through the orbs. “Bella behind you!” I scream. “Stupefy!” 

“I’m so glad we’re friends,” she laughs. I look at her with an annoyed look, “You’re insane.” Her wand flashes a Death Eater appearing next to me. “Maybe,” she smiles. 

We ran into everyone again just as Ginny was yelling, “Reducto.” Orbs began falling left and right. Bella quickly grabbed my hand as we ran again through the other way. I held the prophecy tightly. Glass was being broken all around us and I tried dodging as much as I could but I couldn’t help but feel a sharp pain in the back of my shoulders where my shoulder blade was. I was sure I was cut but I couldn’t stop. And it didn’t hurt too badly from the adrenaline pumping through my veins. 

We finally reached the open door and didn’t stop to think of anything as we jumped. I think I let out a scream as well and fell straight down and I tucked the Prophecy tight to my chest. But just as we reached the ground, we levitated before falling lightly. 

“Department of Mysteries.” Ron lets out a breath as we stand. “They got that bit right, didn't they?”

I suddenly began to hear whispers and looked around but everyone looked normal. A big aggravated and dirt everywhere but as if they didn’t hear them too. Bella raised a brow at me and I looked at Harry who was walking forward. 

“The voices,” he said. “Can you tell what they're saying?”

“There aren't any voices, Harry,” Hermione answers. “Let's get out of here.”

“I hear them too,” Luna says. 

I sigh in relief. “Hermione, I hear them as well. But I can’t make out what they're saying. Bella?” 

She shakes her head, “I don’t hear anything, love. It’s an empty archway. Come on let’s get out of here before we get killed.”

I step onto the huge rock in the center and hear a ringing in my ear, loud and clear as day. I groan and fall to my knees and it doesn’t take long for Harry to be by my side. The whispers grow loud and the ringing mixes with it. It was too much. I think Harry said something. 

And suddenly, I felt shadows all around us and I felt someone grab me by the neck and force me on my feet. The whispers had stopped but I felt a wand on my neck begging to be used. A hand was on my hair, tugging it back forcefully. I tried to move. “One move and I’ll kill your brother,” I heard Bellatrix sneer behind me. 

“Did you actually believe or were you truly naive enough to think that children stood a chance against us?” Mr.Malfoy says with disgust as he walks towards my brother, the prophecy now in his hand. I didn’t even realize it was gone from me. “I'll make this simple for you, Potter.” He lets out his hand. “Give me the prophecy now or watch your friends die starting with your sister.” 

Bellatrix tightens her hold on me. “Harry! Don’t!” I yell. She presses her wand tighter into my neck and tugs on my hair as I let out a scream. She throws me to the ground and stands on top of me, her wand pointed at my neck. 

“Don’t touch her!” Hermione yells.

I hear Bellatrix’s laugh as she grabs my hair and yanks my head off the ground. 

“Get away from my godchildren,” I hear a low voice coming in the direction of Harry. I open my eyes, blinking away the throbbing head pain as I look up. _Sirius_. _He’s alive._

Flashes of light come from above and I feel Bellatrix’s hold on me disappear, falling back to the ground. Bella soon comes to my side and holds out her hand for me to take. Ignoring my head, I run over to Harry just in time to see the prophecy break from Mr.Malfoy’s hand. 

I crouch down to Sirius and Harry as the members of the Order of the Phoenix appear one by one in a shine of white light. Mad-Eye, Tonks, Remus, and Kingsley. 

Sirius grabs on to my arms and pulls me down as he wraps me in his hold. From the corner of my eye, I could see a Death Eater pointing his wand at us and we stood, running to the other side of the arch. 

“Now, listen to me,” Sirius breathes. “Take the others and get out of here.” Harry shakes his head first, “What? No, I'm staying with you.”

“I’m not leaving you, Sirius,” I say seriously. His eyes gaze between Harry and me. His hand comes up to cup my cheek and clap Harry’s shoulder. 

“You've both done beautifully. Now, let me take it from here. I promised your parents I would protect you now let me fulfill it. Take your friends and go.”

Before I could say anything else, I felt a hand grasp my shoulder and throw me back. I think I heard Harry scream my name. My back hit the wall forcefully and hard. Landing on the ground with a groan, I try to stand. I could feel the pain in between my shoulders from the cuts I had gotten earlier. The pain worsened and I held on to my wand. 

“Potter...Potter...Potter,” Bellatrix sneers. I wipe the blood from my nose. “Ready to join mummy and daddy?” 

Something inside me awoke, the anger rising to the brink. I tried to control it afraid the voice would come back but I was too late.

**_Will you let me take the lead?_ **

_On one condition, you don’t hurt my family._

**_No promises Potter._ **

I felt the switch inside me like coldness taking me over. All the fear was gone and in place was anger and hunger. Hunger for vengeance. Hunger for getting even. Hunger to protect my family. 

But things soon took a twist and everything happened so fast. I never saw it coming. 

Bellatrix flicked her wand at me and with a wave of my hand, I disrupted her spell. Her face furrows in confusion as I walk towards her. Grabbing my own wand, I repaid her, throwing her towards a wall. She fell back, crashing into the wall, and screeched. A smirk fell upon my face as I tilted my head to look at her. 

From the corner of my eye, I saw a Death Eater coming up behind Bella and I used my wand to disarm him. She smiled at me and continued to make her way towards Tonks. 

But I distracted myself as Bellatrix took ahold of me and with her, flew us into the air. I couldn’t see her, it was as if she was a part of the air and she was wrapped around me like a snake. She throws me to the ground. And soars after me, appearing back in her form. 

We knocked each other off a few times. I tried my best to hurt her but there was only so much I could do because of her constant state of appearing and disappearing out of thin air. I raise my wand and knock her into a wall but she quickly recovers, going back into her smoke form and appearing over me. Grabbing my shoulders and tossing me to the top of a rock. I groan as my shoulders collide with the hard cold surface.

She stands on top of me and kneels down to place her hands around my throat. 

I raise my wand to use the killing curse but in an instant, she grabs my hand and turns it to the side. And vanishes. 

It all happened so fast and when I turned my head, I came back. The anger was gone. It was me again. But I...I

I killed my Godfather. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry... I wanted him to live but it was important for the plot... PLS DONT HATE ME xxx
> 
> But on the bright side, things will begin picking up from here :) and her and Draco action is coming soon.


	21. Chapter 21

I don’t remember what happened, my head was spinning as I stood from the ground quickly running towards my brother. I felt hands wrap around my waist holding me back. 

“Sirius!” I screamed, trying to pry away from whoever was holding me. I repeated the word no screaming for my godfather who floated away a ghost. I...I killed him. I don’t remember saying the words. But I was so angry, I was someone else. And my wand was the thing that killed him. I did that. I was a monster. I killed Cedric and now I killed Sirius too. 

I did this. I did this. I. Did. This. 

The voice was right. 

**_These things occurring are all your fault, Potter._** It said. **_Give in to the darkness._** It said. And I did. Who’s next to die? Harry? Ron? Hermione? Bella? 

Harry turned to me with cold eyes, his glare meeting mine. He knew I did this. He was never going to forgive me for it. 

He rips from Remus’s arms and comes towards me. My eyes were blurred from my tears. And I think I was still screaming. Whoever’s arms that were wrapped around me, dropped and Harry caught me as I fell to my knees. 

But what he said surprised me. His palms grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him as sobs left my throat. “It’s not your fault,” he whispers. I shake my head frantically, yes it was.

“Look at me!” he shakes my head. “It. Is. Not. Your. Fault.”

“I killed him, Harry,” I sobbed. “I didn’t mean to. I swear. I tried-”

“You didn’t kill him, she did,” his head was turned to Bellatrix smiling and walking away. 

He helped me up, giving me to Remus’s arms before running after her. 

**_Let me take care of this._ ** _You? After what you did!_

_This is my fight. Hurt me. Punish me. Do what you please but I will not let another person in my family be hurt._

**_Then allow me to help._ ** _Why?_

**_To show you how powerful you can be. You may get your revenge._ ** _I’m not letting you take control._

**_Then use me as a weapon. Make us one. Accept the darkness._ **

I sigh and close my eyes. _Just this once and then it’ll be back to me figuring out how to destroy you._

I felt magic coursing through my body but something darker. Something different. And all the sadness I felt along with the anger was turned into a strength. 

I pushed Remus off of me and followed Harry, wand in my hand. I could hear Remus call out to me but I ignored him. She was going to pay. And she was going to pay with her blood. 

“Where’s your sister, Harry?” I heard her cackle. “Busy killing another family member. Oh wait, you have no one left.” I found her on the floor, Harry’s wand on her. 

“She’s mine,” I sneer. Harry turns towards me. But before he could stop me, I grabbed onto her collar and tossed her a little ways away. He raised a brow at the strength coursing through my veins. 

I could hear whispers telling me to kill her. To say the spell we all knew would end her life. And something in me wanted to listen. It wanted me to do it. 

She wasn’t afraid. Not even remotely. She was smiling as if she was proud I was going to kill her. Because it would go against everything I stood for. Killing her defenseless would make me no better than a death eater. 

**_Finish it._ **

I raised my wand slightly. _No,_ something inside called out. I heard a ringing in my ear as if my soul was being torn in two. One side wanted me to go through with it, no end her and end Voldemort at any cost necessary. The other wanted me to use racial decisions. Killing someone was something I have yet to do. And if I did this, there was no going back. 

Doing this meant losing a part of myself. Stupidly, I thought of Draco. 

I wouldn’t just be killing anyone. I would be taking the life of his aunt. Something he could never forgive me for. And I didn’t want him hating me. 

Wait, why should I care? His father was a death eater. 

But that didn’t mean he was. Right? He seemed genuinely concerned for me. But then again, it could be a trick up his sleeve. No. Yes. I didn’t know. 

I felt someone's hands wrap around me and drag me to the floor. Bellatrix was no longer in front of me. “Come back to me,” I heard Harry whisper. 

I looked up to see his eyes looking back at me with concern and when I turned my head, I saw Voldemort and Dumbledore. 

Everything inside me froze. He was in front of me. With a body. He was alive. He wasn’t a head anymore. And he killed Cedric. 

Mum. Dad. Cedric. Sirius. My breathing quickened. No. This was not the time for a panic attack. 

I closed my eyes and concentrated on the anger in my veins. The thought of Cedric’s body and his father laying on top begging for his child. His mother holding my hand at his funeral. 

Flashes of light were zapping all around us and Harry curled his body over mine as the pillars around us were being destroyed. I felt the heat on the side of my face and when I looked for the source, I saw a snake made of fire coming after Dumbledore. 

Reacting quickly, I stood ignoring Harry’s calls and stood in front of Dumbledore. With a wave of my wand, it reacted by listening to my call as I turned the snake's target to Voldemort. Dumbledore followed, a wave of water engulfing him and throwing him to the ground. 

Shadows came after us and I stood once more in front of Dumbledore, holding out my hand, and let the shadows come for me. It was as if my body knew exactly what to do. The shadows wrapped around my body and I felt as if it was a part of me. And it was like they knew me because they quickly faded. 

Glass quickly erupted but I continued standing. Holding out my hands, I screamed, and out of my wand came alight. The glass became droplets of water as they came through the light. I closed my eyes feeling the wave of power flow through my veins. The power I never felt before. The power I didn’t know I had. 

It was stronger magic. One that required no spells. It knew what I wanted and responded. 

Voldemort stood stunned. “It seems I’m not the only one you must worry about Dumbledore,” he says astonished but disappears right after. 

I turn my head to look at Harry, his eyes confused at what just happened as I was. But then we both felt it, a pounding in our heads. My scar on my chest felt as if it reopened as I fell to the ground. 

In flashes, I saw the pain in my life. I saw my mother scream as she tried protecting Harry and me. I saw Cedric dying in my arms. I saw Sirirus’s death once more. 

The anger I felt was now overridden with pain and it wasn’t something my body liked. I tried pushing the power back. To give it back to the voice somehow. I didn’t want it anymore but it was forcing its way to stay. 

It was like a tug of war with my mind. The dark side of me and the human side. I think I was screaming but I wasn’t sure. 

What I was sure of were darkness taking over and Harry’s words. 

“You're the weak one and you'll never know love or friendship. And I feel sorry for you.” 

“You're a fool, Harry Potter. And you will lose everything. And it seems like you must worry about one of your own before our next meeting.” 

***

**Draco’s POV**

“Where is she?” I ask as soon as Bella comes into the common room. I knew something was wrong when I saw the tears streaming down her face. She didn’t answer and crossed her arms. I grabbed her shoulders, “Bella, where is (y/n)?” 

“The infirmary,” she breathes. I ran out of the room. “Draco, wait-”

I ignored her yells and ran down the hall, almost bumping into a few Ravenclaws and Slytherins on the way. Turning the corner, I saw Potter and Ron. 

“What happened?” I called out. Harry raised his head and rolled his eyes. “Not now Draco.” 

I mimic his action, “What happened to (y/n)?” He raises a questionable brow but I stand my ground, waiting for him to answer. 

“I don’t know,” he answers. “Bullshit Potter, what happened? You were supposed to protect her!” 

“You think I wanted this to happen!” He yelled and pushed my shoulders. “I don’t know. She passed out. Voldemort messed with our heads, I was able to push him back, and when I looked at her… She was cold as ice and her eyes wouldn’t open. Are you happy Draco? Believe us now?”

Voldemort? 

He was really back. Apart from me didn’t want to admit it. But I believed (y/n). But I never said it out loud. It would make this all too real. 

And Harry probably questioned why I was asking and worried about his sister. A part of me also wondered why. I was supposed to stay away from her. She was bad for me. But I couldn’t. Not anymore. 

Not after figuring out what in bloody hell was going on with her. 

“Where is she?” I asked with my eyes to the ground. Harry didn’t question my asking. He blankly stated, “Infirmary, third bed.” 

I pushed past him and turned the corner to the infirmary. 

Hermione looked up from sitting next to her, her eyes were bloodshot with tears. She wiped them away and stood. With a quick kiss on her hand, she set it back on the bed and made her way towards me. 

She stopped to the side of me and placed a hand on my shoulder. “I suspected something was going on with you. I think it started a long time ago. But Draco.” I turned my head to look at her. “She doesn’t need any more breaking. If that’s your intention, walk away.”

“I don’t want to break her,” I whisper, staring at her still body. “Not any more than I already have.”

“Then don’t. She needs salvation. She needs something to hold on to. I didn’t see what happened but from what Harry has said and the prophecy we heard, if she doesn’t find a lifeline, she’ll drown. And no one will be able to bring her back. We’ll lose her to a fate worse than death.”

“How do you know the prophecy was speaking about her?”

“I don’t. But it’s either her or Harry. Either way, we need to make sure they both have a lifeline to bring them back. And regardless, they both need to live to defeat Voldemort. If one dies or turns dark, so will the world.” 

I hear her footsteps walking away as I stay frozen. 

With a deep breath, I start walking towards (y/n). 

Her body laid on the white sheets, a blanket on top of her body. Her face looked pale as if all the color was drained from it and her hair was spread on the pillow. She looked somewhat peaceful. But the slight crease in the middle of her brows showed otherwise. 

I sat in the chair where Hermione once was but dragging the chair a little closer. I reached over to grab her hand, her hand felt iced cold in my warm ones. 

My other hand engulfed her hand as well as I brought it to my lips. 

“Hi darling,” I whisper into our hands while I look up at her face. “I need you to open your eyes for me okay?”

No movement occurred. I should’ve stopped her from going. I didn’t even know _where_ they were going. But nothing good ever happens towards the end of the year. Nothing. It always ends horribly. 

I should’ve known. I told her I would help her. 

_But you also made it seem like she was worth nothing to you._

_And you told her you to regret your days together._

I didn’t regret the days we had together. It was the complete opposite. I missed it. I missed every stolen moment. Every secret whisper between us. 

I missed the hallway moments when we almost were caught. Missed how her cheeks would flush red when her brother would question why she was speaking to me. Missed the days in quidditch practice when she would purposely tease me. 

When I first came to her, I wasn’t proposing having a sexual relationship, it just came to happen.

***

_“Potter, wait!” I yelled and said my goodbyes to Crabbe and Doyle. She rolled her eyes and continued walking with Cedric. I chuckled and shook my head, catching up with her._

_“Will you slow down?” I grabbed her arm, I need to talk to you. “Let go of her Draco,” Cedric sneered, forcing my hand off of her. He blocked my path to look at (y/n)._

_“Cedric,” she says, placing a hand on his arm. “It’s okay. I’ll meet you in the Great Hall.” He looks at me and then back at her, shaking his head. They whispered amongst each other as I took interest in the designs of the halls._

_It wasn’t till I heard his footsteps that I looked back at (y/n)._

_“What do you want, Draco?”_

_I scoff. “Well, pretty rude to greet a friend like that, isn’t it Potter?” She shakes her head in annoyance and starts to walk away but I grab her arm again. “Wait, I’m sorry. Can we speak in private?”_

_She furrows her brows for a moment but nods. I nod in response and walk across the hall. Looking into the doors, I found an empty classroom._

_Grabbing her arm again, I tug her into the room. She groans and pulls her arm away, “Would you stop that? I’m a toy Draco.”_

_“Sorry.”_

_“What are we doing here?”_

_“What do you think?” I laugh and grab the back of her neck, bringing her lips to mine. She drops her bag and grabs the nape of my neck to bring me closer. I felt her lips smile against mine._

_“We don’t have time for this Draco,” she pants, pulling away and trying to leave. Instead of grabbing her arm, I grab her robe and turn her back around. “We have five minutes before they start looking for you and think I’ve harmed you in some way.”_

_“Don’t you think this is getting old?” she asks, fixing the tie on my neck. I raise a brow and she continues. “Sneaking around and solely just making out.”_

_“I thought you didn’t want attachments?” I say. She doesn’t look into my eyes, “I don’t. I don’t know. I do but I don’t.”_

_Apart from me wanted to tell her I felt the same way. I didn't want to continue hiding this. I wanted to be able to hold her in the halls without worrying if someone would see us. I wanted to be able to spend time with her without rumors or questioning._

_At first, I told myself, I couldn’t get close. This was pure pleasure and stress relief, nothing more. But I couldn’t help it. She understood me in ways no one did. She knew who I was when no one was around._

_But what if she didn’t want something more with me. Something this serious. But being her boyfriend meant opening up even more. It meant her knowing my thoughts, meeting my mum and dad, criticism from her friends, and maybe even people coming in between us._

_I couldn’t have that._

_“Do you want to go further?” I blurt out. She shoots her head up to look at me. “Further?”_

_“You mean having sex, don’t you?” she asks. No._

_“It seems we’re on the same page,” I said without thinking twice. What the bloody hell, Draco? That’s not what I wanted._

_I bit my lip, my mind spinning and quietly cursing at myself for not manning up to what I wanted. All because I was afraid of my reputation and her. I tore from her gaze and looked at the door._

_“We should go,” I coldly say, letting go of her rope and walking to the door. She stays in her place._

_“Okay.” I look over my shoulder. “Okay?”_

_She walked over to me and her hand went to the back of my neck. I lowered to barely meet her lips. “Okay,” she whispers and presses her lips against mine._

_***_

I felt the bed move slightly and opened my eyes. But closed them back when it stopped moving, it might have only been my imagination.

But then I reopened when I felt a hand running through my hair. Slowly lifting my hands, I saw (y/n) looking back at me. 

“Hi,” she smiled weakly and then went into a coughing fit. I stood quickly, grabbing the glass of water the nurse had left at the table. Sitting on the edge of the bed facing her, my arm grabbed her waist to help sit her up while my other hand brought the glass to her mouth. 

“Drink,” I urged her. She only drank a third of the glass before she pushed it away. “You need to drink more.” 

She shook her head and laid back down. “I’m okay.” 

Sighing, I stood and placed the glass on the table. 

“Why are you here?” I heard her ask behind me. I turned around and tried to push away the small jab of pain I felt looking at her eyes. 

Despite our hatred and disgust for one another, Potter told me everything that happened. Sirius was gone and (y/n) blamed herself.

“Not that I don’t appreciate you being here when I woke up but I suspected Harry or Isabella would be the first ones I saw.”

I sat back on the edge of the bed. “Dumbledore requested Harry and Isabella’s packing your bags for you.” 

She nods and looks at the ceiling, not speaking a word. I looked away and stared at the walls. I didn’t know what exactly to say. What do I say? 

I saw her bite her lip from the corner of my eyes. She closed her eyes and let a single tear slip down her cheek. 

Without knowing what to say, I reached over and grabbed her hand, still looking at the wall. I gave her a slight squeeze. Even if I didn’t know where to start, I needed her to know she didn’t have to go through this alone. 

I was done with this game I played. A game of pretending I don’t care about her. I’ve cared since the first day I met her. At first, I just wanted to be her friend. She was a Potter. One-half of the twins' everyone whispered about. I was young and thought it would make me cool. 

But then I started becoming cold. Maybe it was to protect her. The first time I talked with her, I went with the lie of solely helping her for the reputation of the Slytherin house. No, it wasn’t the real truth. I hated hearing the rumors. 

I knew what it was like to have people think you’re the mean one. That you’re the “evil” one. I was a Malfoy. Everyone knew my father. Feared my father. I feared my father. 

I didn’t want her closing up entirely as I have. I needed her to have light even if I had none. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t believe you,” I looked down at our hands. “I should’ve believed you about Voldemort. Should’ve stood up for you.” 

“It’s not your fault. No one believed me. Besides it all ties back to me.”

I shoot my head up to look at her. “Don’t say that. This isn’t your fault.”

She scoffs and shakes her head, blinking away the tears. “Yes, it is,” she says, looking me in the eyes. “Voldemort is after Harry and me. If we never came back, none of this would’ve happened. Cedric died because he was with me. Sirius died because of me. I let the voice in Draco, I gave it to control and I lost the only other family other than Harry that I had left. Sirius is gone because I killed him.” 

I quickly let go of her hand, brought my hand around her waist to bring her up, and wrapped my arms around her. She fisted the back of my shirt as she cried. 

“I killed my godfather,” she whispered, letting the words sink in. 

Grabbing the back of her neck, I bring her eyes to meet mine. “Look at me, it wasn’t you. Harry told me what happened. Bellatrix used you. Made it seem like you killed him. She used you, darling.”

She shakes her head. “You don’t know that. I barely remember what happened. All I remember is pain and anger. I gave in to this…” she looks down at her body. “This thing inside of me.” Her face scrunches up in disgust. 

“And we both know what happens when you say no,” I try to reason with her. This was not her fault. “I told you I would help you figure this out. You need to let me. Stop fighting me.”

“I don’t want you getting hurt. I’m tired of doing this. I’m tired of people I love leaving because of me,” she cried. “I know, darling,” I say quietly, bringing her face into my neck and kissing the side of her head. 

“I know. We’ll figure this out. You’re not getting rid of me easily anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone! I'm sorry for not posting last week, it was finals week but I'm finally done! And now I have a five week break so that means more writing time. I'm going to try to write a lot so I can get back to uploading two chapters at a time but here's chapter 21.
> 
> I also want to start adding song recommendations for the chapters and I couldn't find one for this one so if you know one, please let me know! I'll add it for future readers, same goes for the previous chapters.
> 
> Anyways, let me know how you guys like it. And don't forget to kudos and comment.
> 
> xxx


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of the Chapter: Be Yours- Betsy Phillips
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBN7RI7xHFo

_**Play Song now!** _

_It’s been months since Sirius’s death and I still have yet to convince myself that none of it is my fault. I feel as though everything comes back to me. My parents, Cedric, Sirius. All fought to protect me and all fell at the hands of the Dark Lord._

_Through it all, I found one escape, you._

_I know we were young when we first began getting intimate, probably far too young but you were the escape I needed. You were the escape I wanted, Draco._

_Our friendship isn’t one I know how to put into words. I can’t find the words to describe it at the start. You were the only one who didn’t act as if I was surrounded by shattered glass. You were the one who walked through it to help me. But I think I blame myself for not appreciating it as much._

_I treated you horribly at first because of the whispers I heard. The infamous Draco Malfoy, rich pureblood who only becomes friends with someone only for the sole reason of receiving something in return. Harry told me to stay away at first._

_But I couldn’t. Not really. You intrigued me. You shut people out just like I do._

_We’re similar in a lot of ways when I think about it. Maybe that’s why I was so drawn to you. I don’t regret being with you Draco. I don’t regret the nights we spent together. I don’t regret you taking my firsts. I just wish it happened differently._

_I wish we hadn’t agreed to the no feelings rule because the truth is Draco, I did have feelings. I do have feelings for you._

_I guess some things don’t work out the way we hope. Did you know I waited for you to ask me to Yule Ball? I guess it was silly of me to think you would make a public move or a move filled with emotion._

_Especially after we ended things the way we did. A part of me hoped that the rumors were true in the fact that you broke up with Pansy because of your feelings for another. And that I was that person._

_I waited and waited._

_When I told you I had feelings for Cedric during our argument, I was lying a little bit. I did love him as a friend, a best friend but I wanted to be something more with you. But you accused me of having feelings for Cedric. I was so angry and hurt and upset that I went along with it because I heard rumors of you being with Pansy._

_When you admitted your feelings for Pansy, I felt a part of me get stuck. Like you had taken a glass from off the ground and instead of helping me, you struck me._

_A part of me swore it saw the pain in your eyes when I told you about Cedric and that caused your outburst. But then you continued to hurt me._

_I just wanted to be yours, Draco._

_Why couldn’t you let me in Draco? I would’ve accepted you. The good and the bad._

_Do you think it was because we were too young? Maybe because we weren’t old enough to understand the true meaning of love? I think I loved you. I knew my feelings for you were not the same as my feelings for Cedric or Harry._

_Do you think we’ll ever be okay? Maybe our story will continue? One day along the road?_

_I’m scared, Draco. I’m scared I’m not going to make it out of this alive. That I’ll leave Harry alone._

_Every day this voice grows stronger. It’s like my head is getting heavy with every second passing. It’s like it’s draining me from the inside. It hasn’t caused me pain or forced itself on me but I think it knows that I would rather feel the pain than hurt the ones I love._

_And so now it’s weakening me to take over. I still don’t know what it is. Or why it’s doing this. Maybe it has something to do with the prophecy? Am I really the classic “evil twin” that always occurs? I don’t want to hurt anyone._

_You’re the only one who knows. But I don’t know what to do. You promised to help me. But it’s been three months. You haven’t written. Haven’t called. I sent you a letter and you never replied._

_Did you realize you were better off without me?_

_You probably did. Our stories are always cut short Draco. Like a novel never finished. Do you think we could ever finish one? Maybe one day?_

_I know I felt safe in your arms long ago. I want to feel that way again. I want to be-_

“What are you doing?” Harry asks, startling me that I drop my pen and close the Slytherin journal. 

“Writing a letter to Bella,” I say quickly. He raises an eyebrow and studies me. But thankfully didn’t question my actions, only nodded and walked towards his suitcase. ‘

“Well there’s no reason for it, we’ll be back at Hogwarts before the letter will arrive to her.” 

I laugh uncomfortably and grab my suitcase before following Harry to say goodbye to our Aunt and Uncle one last time.

*** 

**Draco POV**

I close my book and set it on the bedside table. 

I’ve decided to give reading a try. Maybe just for a little bit and so far, it was not as bad as I thought it would be. It was as if it transported me into another world, maybe that’s why (y/n) loved it so much. 

And no, I was not reading because I knew she loved to. I was reading because...well...oh who am I bloody kidding. I was reading because she loved to read and I wanted to understand why.

Laying back on my bed, I drape an arm over my eyes and release a sigh. I was really going to do this.

Become a death eater like my father. And I couldn’t tell anyone. And that meant I couldn’t keep my promise to (y/n). Every second with her would be dangerous. I would be putting her in danger. 

When I got her letter, I was told I was getting the mark only a few days earlier. And I wanted to respond but I couldn’t. I had to drift away from her. 

But I would help her from afar. I promised I would and the last thing I wanted to do was break my promise to _her._

I groaned as I stood from my bed, walking over to my dresser, and opening the first drawer. I took out the small photograph I once took of her during one of our secret moments behind closed doors.

She was laying down on the grass, her hair spread out all around her, a smile on her face, and her arm over her eyes. The photo caught her chest moving slightly as she laughed. 

She didn’t know this existed. I took it while she wasn’t looking and quickly placed it into my bag. I’ve kept it ever since. It was my only photo of her laughing. The rest were from the newspapers. Either her and Harry hiding their faces or her with tears.

I hated them. I tore most of them. 

Sighing, I took the photo in my hands and sat in the desk chair. I grabbed my own journal, a similar one to the one I gifted her. Unlike hers, my snake was intertwined with the large M symbol in the middle that stood for Malfoy. Mine had been gifted by my mum but I never wrote in it. 

Not until I realized this may be the only way to tell her how I truly felt but she would never read it. I started writing the night she admitted her feelings for Cedric. It’s nearly full, only a couple of blank pages left for one last entry before I must buy another one. 

I opened it up to finalize that entry. 

Grabbing some tape, I placed her photo in the corner of the page near the spine and began writing. 

_Smiling. A rarity I only saw with my own eyes. It wasn’t your usual false smile, the smile you would give to people to assure you were alright._

_Darling, you are far from alright. We both are. But I suppose that's fate at this point, isn’t it?_

_I wish I could turn back time to see that smile once more. It was the last one I saw on you. Because the next day, I ruined everything. As I always do._

_The rumors were never true. I never had feelings for Pansy. I never have. But I ruin things. I was afraid of what you were doing to me. I’m a Malfoy, we don’t deserve anything if I’m being honest._

_We’re always on the wrong side of history. I didn’t want you twisting yourself with us. You had enough of horrible luck as it was. And so I did the only thing I knew how to do, I pushed and pushed until you grew tired. I didn’t have the heart to do it myself._

_I wanted to be selfish and keep you. Ruin you with me. But I couldn’t. I still can’t._

_I know I promised. But promises are always broken, aren’t they?_

_Your letter is still on my desk, in the corner near your necklace. Remember it? The one with the silver snake I had gotten you on the fourteenth birthday that you threw at me. Told me you didn’t want anything that was gifted to you specifically by me._

_I wish you knew I kept it. That I take it everywhere with me. Some days it stays in my pocket and some days I wear it when I know I can hide it. Just a way to ground me because you ground me, (y/n)._

_Without you, I drown. But it seems like now I’m hanging on by a thread and the necklace isn’t strong enough to stop me from doing this. From turning into my father._

_I wish I saw it sooner. He was acting strange ever since Cedric’s death. Continuously asking if I still talked to you or if we were close. Asked me to become friends with you. To stay close to you. And I never thought anything of it._

_The first time I saw something in you was different, the day you threw me to the tree, I was curious. It was like you were another person. And so I told my father I would do it._

_But it was more than I thought of. When you would be in pain, I couldn’t bear to look at you. And I realized soon after, it only occurred when you were angry or upset. And that only happened when I pushed._

_I continuously try to wrap my mind around the possibilities of what could be happening. I thought that my father suspected which is why he told me to get close to you but when I would hint at my father or someone with your… whatever it is. He would dismiss me and tell me to stop talking about nonsense._

_But I know he truly didn’t know because I found out the real reason why I had to be your friend again._

_He’s a death eater._

_And soon, I will be too. I can’t get out of it. Bellatrix and my father won’t let me._

_I can’t save you because I’m the one you need saving from._

_I want to be yours, darling. Every night I dream of another life where being with you won’t get you killed or injured. Some nights I can’t sleep because I’m disgusted with myself. I’m disgusted because instead of being the one to protect you, I’m the only one hurting you._

_I’m the monster you will need to hide from. The one you need protection from._

_My father gave me orders, darling. I can’t say no. And I’m trying to find a loophole. I would tell you but I don’t know if I could. Maybe this is the thing that will push you over the edge._

_The thing that may kill you and without knowing what is going on with you, I don’t want to risk it. And I’m afraid of what it will do to me. How do I know Voldemort won’t be listening to everything I say. Maybe if I screw up, he will attack you earlier than planned and I won’t let that happen._

_I need to find a way to keep you safe without harming you. But I’m afraid I can’t think of anything._

_I need you to continue hating me and pushing me away. So it will be easier to avoid hurting you but after what happened the last couple of months, I’m afraid it may be difficult._

_I can’t stay away from you. I don’t want to. You’re the only thing keeping me grounded and sane. But you’re also the thing driving me to insanity._

_I don’t just want to be yours. I need to be yours. Your touch brings me back to reality when I’m lost in the countless thoughts that go through my mind. Your laughter shines a light through the darkness._

_Darling, you are my light. But now I’m afraid, as does every flame, it’ll go out. And I will be left in the midst of my own nightmare._

_Though my time with you was short, I am yours._

_Forever and always._

“Draco,” someone’s voice pulls me out of my train of thought. I closed the journal with a sigh as I finished the last line of the entire thing. 

When I look over my shoulder, I see my mum standing in the doorway with a mug in her hand. 

“Hi, mum,” I greeted while standing. She gave me a soft smile and handed me the mug. As I grasped it, I felt the heat and the smell of the tea filling the air. She sits at the edge of my bed instead of leaving and I take a seat next to her. 

She sat quietly, looking at my dresser. Specifically a photo of my father, mother, and I that was taken before my first year at Hogwarts. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered after a few moments of silence. I didn’t speak. Instead, I looked at the ground. There were many things she could be apologizing about. But I knew the mark was probably the one for this apology. 

My father failed and now it fell on to me to complete the Dark Lords task. And the one I was given was difficult. A one I didn’t know if I could bring myself to do but I had to. I couldn’t risk my mother being hurt or punished for my actions. 

“It’s not your fault, mum,” I replied, setting down the teacup on the floor near my bed. 

“I’m your mother,” she said, turning her body to face mine. “Everything that happens to you is my fault. I chose to have you. It is my duty to make sure everything goes well for you and to give you the life you want. This was never what I had planned for you. You were supposed to finish Hogwarts, settle down, find love, have children of your own, and not be placed in the middle of a war that was started when you barely understood what life was.”

I looked into her teary eyes. “Mum, father started this. Not you.”

“You must be careful, Draco. Do you understand me? One wrong move and he’ll do terrible things to you and I cannot bear to see it.” 

I nod slowly and swallow. “I know, I will complete the task.” 

She stands. “Good.” She doesn’t look back as she walks towards the door but stops right before she walks out. “Is there someone in your life I should know about Draco?” She doesn’t look back at me as I stay silent. 

“Well,” she laughs. “Whoever she is, make sure she’s worth it. This life… she may not make it out alive.”

“I know. That’s why I won’t put her in harm's way.”

She only laughs and shakes her head as she closes my door and walks out. 

***

**(y/n)’s POV**

“Do you really believe Draco may be a Death Eater like his father?” I hear Bella ask Harry.

We were currently on our way to Hogwarts riding on the train. I met up with Bella at Fred and George’s shop and met up with Harry while boarding. He, Hermione, and Ron ran off and I didn’t know where but I could care less. 

I was tired beyond reason. 

My head was leaning on Harry’s shoulders as my hands wrapped around his arms. I don’t know how long I had been asleep but I knew that my head was pounding. Harry was saying how he believed he saw Draco have an initiation to become a Death Eater but I wasn’t too sure it was true. But then again, I don’t really know Draco as well as I thought I did. 

“Harry,” I mumbled. “Don’t make assumptions based on feelings. We never liked it when others did it to us.” 

He sighs, “It would only make sense. His father was a Death Eater. Do you really believe he didn’t know?” I shrug in response. 

My eyes felt heavy again and all I remember was feeling the rumbles of the train tracks following the whistle tones as I fell back asleep. 

My dreams were confusing. I was in the woods where the tree Cedric had once marked resided. Mist and fog covered my vision. I could hear sounds of something coming from deeper in the woods. As I walked towards the sound, it became clearer. It was the sound of a wolf howling. 

My scar began to burn lightly but it was nothing I couldn’t handle. I brought my hand up to it and held it. I finally reached a place in the woods where there was a large circle of grass and trees outlined but none resided in the center. 

I saw an outline of a black suit within the midst. At first, I couldn’t make out a face but for some strange reason, I knew it was Draco. I yelled out his name but he wouldn’t turn to face me. So I began walking towards him. But just as I was about to reach him, something held me back. 

I heard a voice say, _Don’t go any closer._ And so I stopped. I looked down at my hand to find a dagger in its place. A light shined from the dagger and it had some sort of crystal in the center of its handle. The voice spoke again. _You must choose. Save him along with all humanity. Or save yourself and doom them all._

I woke up shortly after, my head was now on Bella’s shoulder. “Are you okay?” she asks. I nod and sit up slowly. “Was I bothering you?”

She shakes her head, “No but it looks like you’ve seen a ghost. Are you sure you’re alright? Do you need anything?”

“My head is throbbing if you have anything.” She opens her bag and grabs a pill along with a bottle of water and hands it to me. I thank her and drown it in seconds. 

“Ready to go?” Ron asks from across the way. Hermione nods and we all stand. When I asked where Harry was, they didn't know. 

Walking out of the train, I felt dizzy. Like a strong force of energy hit me at once. It may have been the voice coming back. I suppose it may be tied to Hogwarts somehow- being the school of magic and all. 

Harry didn’t meet up with us and I began getting worried, though Ron assured me he would meet us at the welcoming feast. The ride to Hogwarts was quiet on my end. Something inside of me just didn’t feel calm but anxious. I tried to put down this feeling but I couldn’t.

When we entered Hogwarts, Harry still hadn’t arrived and Bella led the way to the Slytherin table. 

Blaise and Theo motioned us to come to sit with them and I smiled as I sat next to Theo on his right. 

“Hello Potter,” Theo smiles. I turn my head and smile back. 

It wasn’t a lie to say Theo was fairly attractive. He may have been one of the most attractive men in the Slytherin house. His brown hair was rustled, mostly looking like he had just woken up from a nap and his jawline was somewhat sharp. His body was well built, not too lean but not too muscular. 

“Hello, Theodore.”

He rolls his eyes, “Theo, please! Why must you always insist on calling me, Theodore?” I laugh and shake my head. “Because it pisses you off, quite the entertainment.” 

He wraps an arm around my shoulder and brings me closer to him on the bench. “Potter,” he laughs and grabs a grape. “Call me Theodore again and I’ll…” he looks around the table. “Stick your face in that pie right there.” 

“Mature,” I nod and squint my eyes. “Real mature...Theodore.” 

Blaise laughs from the opposite side. “Alright, you two, enough with the flirting. I’m hungry and you both are making me lose my appetite.” 

Bella raises her brows at me and I shake my head. “We aren’t flirting.” Blaise hums, “Whatever you say, now pass me the potatoes please.”

The Welcoming Feast went by fairly quickly. Draco walked through the doors later than everyone else and sat across from Pansy. He was still in my line of view and sitting on the other side of the table. When I looked around, I saw Harry sitting with Ron and Hermione but with a towel on his nose which caused me to look back and forth between Draco and him a couple of times. 

Did Draco do that? He seemed a little preoccupied or something was bothering him. 

Dumbledore went on to introduce Professor Slughorn and his new position as well as Snape’s new position as well. He went on to talk about how the greatest weapon of Hogwarts was not the power in the walls or the school but for us. 

But I wasn’t entirely listening. The entire time, my gaze was on Draco and trying to figure out what was going on with him. Dumbledore’s speech was very short and he dismissed us to go to bed. 

I still had my own room as I was still Prefect and so did Draco but he didn’t attend the meeting on the train earlier which also worried me. I shouldn’t be worried. I should be upset. He hasn’t answered any of my letters nor has attempted to look at me or say hello. 

But seeing the way he is now, it made sense in my head. Apart from me knows how he’s feeling and if I was right -and it were me- I would shut everyone out. 

I didn’t realize Theo’s arms were still around my shoulder until Draco finally turned his head to look at me and then looked at Theo right after. He simply shook his head and followed everyone on their way out.

I removed Theo’s arms from my shoulder and followed after him. But before I could leave the Grand Hall, Snape stopped me. “Ms. Potter,” he greets. I nod in response, “Professor Snape. How are you?”

“Good. Ms.Potter, I advise you to be cautious this school year. And remember to continue telling of me any...incidents...that may occur.” 

“I will.”

“Very well,” and with that, he walks away. 

I made my way towards the Slytherin House because Draco was nowhere near the halls and when I reached the common room, he wasn’t in there either. The only other place I could think of was his room. 

I walked through the sea of boys claiming beds till I reached Draco’s room and knocked on his door but no answer. I knocked again but nothing. “Draco!” I called out. I soon decided to give up and walk over to my room where every item of my belongings was already placed inside. 

Opening the door, I could hear Knight making noises in his cage. I turned on the light and removed my shoes to place them next to the door. 

I was going to remove my robe when I heard someone speak behind me. “You and Theo together now?” I slightly jumped, turning around, and placing a hand on my heart. “Draco, you can’t just scare me like that.”

He didn’t answer but instead pulled himself off the wall and made his way towards me. His hair looked a little whiter than the year before and his body had definitely changed. It was much leaner than last year and not as skinnier as he was before. 

“Draco…” before I could finish what I was going to say, his hands reached out and fisted my robe, bringing my body close to his and pressing his lips against mine. 

My hands stayed in the air for a second before it reached out to grab the nape of his neck to pull him closer. This was not okay. Three months of no contact. He ignored my letters. He didn’t even say hello yet here we were. 

And as much as I wanted to pull away, I wanted to pull him closer. 

After mere seconds, he pulled away and placed his forehead on mine. 

His eyes stayed closed but he let go of my robe quickly and walked away, slamming the door on the way out. 

My head was spinning with thoughts and so I sat on the bench in front of my bed, looking at the floor. 

***

**Draco’s pov**

I kissed her. I wasn’t planning on it. 

When I saw her sitting with Theo, I felt something boiling inside of me. It may have just been a friendly gesture but it just didn’t sit well with me. 

And I don’t know what caused me to go over to her room but I wanted to feel her lips on mine and needed to hear her voice. 

She had changed. Her brown hair was longer and now reached halfway down her back. Her body had gained a little weight but it was still perfect. But she looked tired. There were dark circles under her eyes that made me question whether or not she slept. 

Was the voice still inside her head? Was it still constantly talking to her? 

But the most surprising was the fact that she didn’t push me away but instead tried to bring me closer. I thought she wouldn’t let me kiss her. Thought she was going to hit me or yell at me for not answering her letter. But I’m sure she would have if I stayed longer. 

I heard a knock on my door and before I could ask who it was, Theo walked in. This was the last thing I wanted. 

“So,” he smirked and laid against my door frame. “Did I make you jealous of putting my arm around Potter?” He was always smug and loved to get a reaction out of me. 

I rolled my eyes in response and he laughed, walking forward a little. “I saw you coming out of her bedroom Malfoy. Are you falling for her? Or is she a part of your mission from the Death Eaters?” 

I couldn’t help but grab his collar and slam him against the door. “I suggest you shut it, Theo. We may be friends but this is out of your comfort zone.” 

He shakes his head. “We’re both in the same boat, Draco. Your father and mine are Death Eaters and everyone knows. You really think (y/n) would actually be either with us? Our fathers are working for the man that wants her heart served on a silver platter. She doesn’t trust us. And if she seems like she does, it’s all a game.”

“So you like her then?” I question. He again laughs, “No, no I don't. I’m quite fond of her friend though.”

Releasing a deep breath, I let go of his collar and walk away from him. “You do know Isabella is dating Asher?” 

“Not anymore. They broke up a month ago after Asher cheated on her with another Hufflepuff at a party that his cousin held. I’m not sure if anyone else knows, to be quite honest.”

“And how do you?” I raise a brow. “Because I was at the party. And so was she. Whose shoulders do you think she cried on when she was beyond intoxication?”

I shook my head and sat on my bed, undoing my robe. “Well if (y/n) won’t be with me because of my father whose to say Bella will be with you?”

He simply shrugs. “So, did you get the mark?” 

I stand quickly and jab a finger at his chest. “Would you keep your voice down? This isn’t some ordinary tattoo one gets. And I will not tell you because it is not your business whether I got it or not. Now, buzz off.” 

He laughs and shakes his head once more. I was getting pretty tired of it. Holding up his arms, he backs away. 

“You know Draco, you have to choose a side sooner or later. And from the way things are headed, maybe being on the Dark Lord’s side doesn’t seem like a bad idea. Besides, her brother will never let her be with you. Save yourself the heartbreak.”

And with that, he walks out and slams my door shut. 

My anger gets the best of me as I grab the nearest object and throw it against the wall. Grabbing my bag, I throw that as well. Papers scattered all over the floor and a box fell out with a small clang. 

I raise my brow as I lower myself to the ground to pick it up. Opening it, I found my ring and a note placed inside. 

_Seemed like you may have forgotten this on your way out._

_-Mum_

With a sigh, I sit against my bed frame and stare at the ring. Slytherin. The house of the Dark Lord. Maybe everyone was right. Maybe we were the worst of them all. But if that were true, what did it mean for (y/n)? 

Could I change? Could I be different? Maybe it was too late because the mark of the Dark Lord was now forever on my body and there was no going back. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone and a happy new year to you all. Sorry for the late update, I didn't realize New Years was on the day I normally upload and so I was behind but I hope you all love this chapter because the story will now be picking up fairly quickly.
> 
> Please don't forget to kudos and leave your thoughts down below! As well as if you have any song recommendations that remind you of them so I can add them to the playlist.
> 
> Much love xxx


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of the Chapter 
> 
> Breathe me- Sia
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghPcYqn0p4Y

**_The ones with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...For none could live while the other survives...you need both halves of the heart...And if one half darkens...Save the light_ **

**_Save the light_ **

**_Save the light_ **

_ I hear a laugh coming from above me as I try to regain consciousness, the sound of the prophecy ringing in my head. “Potter, Potter, Potter,” it says and the hand grabs my chin to forcefully tilt my head up.  _

_ “Open your eyes, Potters,” it sings. My eyes flutter open but they’re heavy and don't hold for long. But I could see it, blood on the floor. Was it mine? _

_ The hand stays on my chin and once more, it forces my eyes open to look to my side. “Sirius,” I choke out a sob when I finally see whose blood it was. “What have you done?” the voice whispers, the hand no longer under my chin.  _

**_What have you done?_ **

***

Jolting awake, I felt like I was suffocating. I looked around for Harry but realized we were no longer home and I was back in the coldness of my own room. 

My breath felt caught in my throat and my muscles felt locked in place. I was hyperventilating and I felt like I was going to cry but nothing was coming out. 

I needed Harry.

It was hard these past three months without Sirius. I had nightmares consistently. Harry did too but I think the nights I had them with him, he tried to play it off to comfort me. 

I still felt like his death was my fault even though Harry assured me it was Bellatrix’s hands on my wand and it was she who said the spell. 

But I couldn't remember. All I remembered was the anger and coldness I felt. I wanted to use the Death Curse on Bellatrix. 

And every nightmare was different. Sometimes I would see my mother's face, my father's, or even Cedric’s in place of Sirius.

It didn't help that for my birthday, Cedric’s mother sent me a package. She had sent me Cedric’s favorite book, Cedric’s pin I gifted him, and his Hufflepuff jersey for quidditch. 

I laughed opening the package. Actually laughed. And then I cried. It was a sweet gesture. She knew I liked to read and that maybe having the pin was a way of keeping a part of him close to me. I placed the pin on my robe where my right cuff laid. 

It was a simple C for his name with yellow and grey outlining it. He always wanted something that showed he was a Hufflepuff but not bluntly stated it. And he wanted it to be placed on his robe. I found a shop one day when I was strolling with Harry and when I saw the pin, it was perfect. 

Taking a deep breath, I left my bed and grabbed my robe to place it on my body. I was merely only wearing one of Harry’s old shirts along with some joggers I had worn to bed when I fell asleep reading. 

I grabbed my notebook and a quill filled with ink. Looking around the hallway, I saw no one was awake which was perfect. After brushing my teeth, I made my way out of the common room into the Hogwarts hallway. 

The sun was peering through the Hogwart windows and it hit my face causing my eyes to squint as I made my way to my spot. Luckily, it was too early for everyone and so no one had questioned me or asked me where I was going. 

Reaching the patch of trees and grass, I could see ahead of me the scorch mark I had left behind. It pained me to look at it, knowing I did that when my mind wasn’t fully with me. I barely remembered it. 

It was like whenever I felt the anger, the pain, and let the voice take control, I lost myself. I couldn’t think clearly and all I wanted to do were horrible things I wouldn’t normally do in the right state of mind. It was like being blackout drunk. Doing things and then when you come back to your right state of mind, everything is a blur, and thinking about it causes a migraine. A migraine is so bad as if someone was placing a sharp needle through your skin and brain. 

I placed my hands on the mark and I somehow felt the anger I felt that day. As if it was left behind within the mark and I felt the strong magic that coursed through my veins. But I also felt an immense pain of sadness, a moment that I had created with him, gone. 

I turned so my back was towards the tree and fell to the ground, placing my head on the bark along the tree.

Closing my eyes for a mere second, I remembered Ms.Weasley’s words in my head. Before Harry and I came back to Hogwarts, we saw Ms.Weasley. She made me tea and asked how I was doing. I would be lying if I said, I didn’t break down then and there. But thankfully my tears were gone by the time Harry, Hermione, and Ron came downstairs. 

Ms.Weasley was probably the hundredth person to assure me none of this was my fault but even then it still felt like I had a big role in all of this. This all began with my birth, didn’t it? Which meant every life lost, on either side, was because of me. 

When I opened my eyes, I turned my head to the right a little and remembered the last memory I had with Cedric before we were never able to return. Well, one of us would never be able to return.

***

_ “Have you thought any more about the Yule Ball?”  _

_ I shake my head and laugh, my eyes still closed as I laid on the cold grass. “Ced, I told you I wasn’t going.”  _

_ I could hear him groan and his robe being tugged from under my body since when I laid down, I fell onto a part of it. “You have to. It’s in two days which means you need to hurry and get a dress.” I opened one eye to see him turned on his side and his head propped up on his elbow.  _

_ Letting out a breath, I close my eyes again. With a groan, Cedric laid back on the grass.  _

_ We laid in silence for a few moments. Until Cedric broke it with a shocking statement.  _

_ “Come with me.”  _

_ And my response? A laugh. When I opened my eyes, I looked to my side and saw he was not in fact joking.  _

_ “I’m being completely serious. Come with me,” he lays on his side again. “I know you were expecting Draco but he-” _

_ “He’s with Pansy now. I know,” I sigh, sitting up and leaning against the tree. “Okay, I’ll go with you. Now I just need to find a dress.” _

_ He laughs and sits up next to me. “That’s already been taken care of.” _

_ “Were you that cocky that you knew I would say yes to you?” _

_ “No, Bella and I got it for you just in case you changed your mind about going to the ball entirely. With me or not. But...” I turn my head to look at him to urge him to continue. He looks at me and lets out a breath. “I don’t want to go just as friends. My feelings for you haven’t been a secret, Potter. But I understand with our age difference, it’s-” _

_ “Doesn’t matter to me,” I interrupt. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed Cedric but there are only three years and I’ve gone through things in life that have caused me to grow up faster than I should’ve. Besides, I can speak for myself. We can try but I can’t promise anything.”  _

_ He lets out a nervous laugh, “Good. I mean, okay.”  _

_ *** _

“Everything alright?” I heard a voice ask and take me out of my thoughts. I quickly wiped some tears that had escaped, closed my journal -as I was writing some things down while the memory played in my head-, and looked at the source. “Were you crying?”

“Maybe I was Draco. What’s it to you?” My tone was a little harsher than I intended but for not writing back and leaving me in the dark along with last night’s kiss, I think I deserved to be a bit harsh. 

I could see his jaw clench but instead of replying, he looks behind him slightly and kneels to the ground, mirroring my position against the tree across from me. He examines me and squints his eyes. 

“Are we just going to go this year hating each other as well then?” I hear him scoff softly but I don’t think I intended to hear it so I kept quiet. Instead, I looked down at my journal and opened it to proceed writing in it. 

I didn’t care that Draco was here, he had found me here months ago. There was no reason to hide it from him anymore and I didn’t feel like arguing with him as my head was already pounding. And I knew once I opened my mouth, I would get angry. 

I was also scared of becoming angry, I haven’t been angry in so long and the voice has been quiet apart from appearing in my nightmares. But I didn’t want it to come back. Not until I knew exactly what was happening. I tried researching but found nothing. To be honest, I didn’t even know what to research. 

“I’m sorry,” I heard him say from where he sat. I raised a brow and stopped writing, “Sorry for kissing me yesterday? For not responding to my letter? Or sorry that you ever got involved with me when we were young? Oh wait, you already regretted number three which means it’s either the first option or second.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “I’m sorry for being a dick.” 

“Well that was unexpected,” I mumbled to myself. He stood up and walked over to my tree, sitting down next to me. He didn’t look at me while speaking, “I wanted to write back. I just couldn’t. I wasn’t ignoring you, Potter.” 

“Were you embarrassed with what happened to your father?” I asked, instantly regretting it in case it hit a nerve. Draco didn’t faze. He looked empty as he nodded. “Slightly but there are other factors in my life occurring. I just… I don’t know. Never had the time.” 

I nodded and kept silent for a few moments before I asked the question, “Why did you kiss me last night and leave so quickly?” 

“I don’t really know how to answer that if I’m being honest.” His gaze was still looking ahead, not meeting my eyes as I turned my head to look at him. “Did you regret it?” I waited a couple of moments before I sighed and shook my head. I went to stand and felt his hand, grab my arm. 

“Where are you going?” 

“To get ready for class. I’m not doing this back and forth confusing thing with you Draco, not this year. I’ve already gotten enough on my plate to add this too.” 

Before he could respond, I tugged my arm away and refused to look back as I walked away. 

***

“Apparently, we’re receiving a new Professor for Potions,” Hermione pointed out as we walked to the class. I nodded, “Professor Slughorn. I met him before coming here, he was quite alright. I think it’ll be good.”

I sighed, looking up at the ceiling before speaking again. “Honestly Hermione, I just would like to get through one year as a normal girl in school. I can’t go through losing someone else and I hate having to constantly look over my shoulder.” 

She places her arm in mine and lays her head on my shoulder. “I promise one day it’ll be worth it, (y/n). We’ll get rid of him one day and avenge everyone we lost. But for now, let’s just focus on having a good first day.” 

I shook my head and smiled at her as we entered the room. But my smile soon faded as I made eye contact with Draco. Great, he’s in the class. 

Hermione stood over where the Gryfinndor’s were standing as I made my way to stand next to Blaise. He quickly wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “Potter, so now that we’re in this class together, do you think we could have study sessions?” 

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Please Blaise, we all know the only person she would have study sessions with would be with me. I would actually have had paid attention in class,” Theo interrupted and grabbed my arm to bring me to the other side of Blaise so I was in between them. I rolled my eyes and ripped my arm out of his grasp. “You both are not who I would want to have these so-called study sessions with.”

“I’ll say,” I heard Pansy scoff. I took a deep breath, ignoring her words. 

Professor Slughorn began talking and introducing himself for the first five minutes of class. My head began to pound as soon as he started speaking so I didn’t really catch anything he was saying but he stopped quickly when Harry and Ron came stumbling in. 

“Harry, my boy, I've been beginning to worry,” Professor Slughorn exclaimed. “You brought someone with us, I see.”

Ron looked at him with panic in his eyes and began speaking, “Ron Weasley, sir. But I'm dead awful at Potions. A menace, actually so. I'm probably just gonna-”

“Nonsense, we'll sort you out. Any friend of Harry's is a friend of mine. Get your books out.” 

After Harry and Ron were told to get a book from the cupboard, Professor Slughorn turned back to us and continued his lecture. “Now as I was saying, I prepared some concoctions this morning. Any ideas what these might be?” Hermione raised her hand. “Yes, Miss...?”

She begins walking towards the Potions. “Granger, sir. That one there is Veritaserum. It's a truth-telling serum. And that would be Polyjuice Potion. It's terribly tricky to make.” She answers and moves to the next. “This is Amortentia. The most powerful love potion in the world. It's rumored to smell differently to each person according to what attracts them. For example, I smell... Freshly mown grass and new parchment and... Spearmint toothpaste.”

“Good,” Professor Slughorn nods but then he looks straight at me. “(y/n), come smell Amortentia. Let’s see if each person truly smells something different.” Everyone turns to look at me and I nod hesitantly, clutching my shoulder bag. Draco moves off to the slide to allow me to pass through. 

I walk up next to Hermione and smell the potion. “Mint, cologne, and ap-” I released my gaze and looked down at the ground. “I suppose I did smell something different than Hermione,” I laugh nervously. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Draco raise his gaze from the ground to look at me but I quickly went back to my old place. 

“Now Amortentia doesn't create actual love,” Slughorn proceeded. He still spoke but I tuned him out, still stuck inside my head. I looked anywhere beside Draco and Harry raised a brow. I shook my head and smiled. 

“Sir, you haven't told us what's in that one,” someone interrupts his talking once more. Professor Slughorn nods, “Oh yes. What you see before you, ladies and gentlemen is a curious little potion, known as Felix Felicis. But it is more commonly known referred to as—”

“Liquid luck,” I said quietly to myself. 

But I apparently said it too loud because everyone turned to look at me and Professor Slughorn smiled. “Yes, Miss Potter. Liquid luck.” He holds up the vial. “Desperately tricky to make, disastrous should you get it wrong. One sip and you'll find that all of your endeavors succeed. At least until the effects wear off.” He walks back behind his desk and continues. 

“So this is what I offer each of you today. One tiny vial of liquid luck to the student who in the hour that remains, manages to brew an acceptable Draught of Living Dead. Recipes for which can be found on page 10 of your books. Issue one doubt, however. Only one set of students manage to brew a potion of sufficient quality to claim this prize. Nevertheless, good luck to you all. Let the brewing commence.” 

We quickly disperse and get to each station. Somehow, I ended up across from Draco when Theo tugged me with him. He stood on the edge of the table while I stood towards his right. I could see Draco looking at me but I ignored him, looking down and opening my book. 

The first step was to  **cut up one Sopophorus bean.**

But it soon proved more difficult than it seemed. The bean would magically fly or roll away whenever someone went to cut it. I didn’t move my hand because I wanted to see how to approach it without it flying away. 

After several attempts, I grew frustrated and my head began to pound. I did not need this. Not right now. Anger boiled inside of me and without even knowing what I did, a tear along the bean took its place. 

“How did you do that?” Theo asked, reaching his hand out to catch his bean. “Your blade was nowhere near the bean.” 

I looked at him with a scared reaction and back at the leaking bean. I didn’t know how I did it. 

“Well obviously you weren’t paying attention,” Draco sneers. “Her blade moved swiftly. The key is to be quick.” He looked up from the book. “Right, darling?” I nodded my head slowly, silently thanking Draco for covering for me. 

I went back to making the brew. 

***

Harry won the vial for liquid luck and to be honest, I never wanted it. I was happy for him. 

Classes went by smoothly or as smooth as they could be. My head continued to pound as it has been doing. I wasn’t able to concentrate in most of my classes. Some, I would sit and stare at the wall hoping this sharp pain would soon subside. 

Draco was in some of them as well and I couldn’t ignore him. He always looked my way and at some points, I felt his gaze on me. 

But all day, I brushed it off like it was nothing. After classes were over, I was in my room organizing some papers when I heard a knock at my door. Someone came by to bring me a message that Dumbledore wished to speak with me. With a nod, I grabbed my robe and walked out of my room. 

Harry was waiting for me outside the entrance of the house. Apparently, he was the one who received the news and sent a Slytherin down to deliver it. When I asked Harry if he knew what this was going to be about, he simply shrugged and said he didn’t know. 

Harry and I kept quiet throughout our short walk and I was thankful for it. I didn’t want to talk really, not because of anything he did. I simply was just not in the mood. I wanted to go back to my room and sleep off the pounding headache. 

“Oh Harry, (y/n), you got my message? Good, Come in. How are you both?” Dumbledore greets us. “We’re okay, sir,” I answered for the both of us. 

“Enjoying your classes? I know Professor Slughorn is most impressed with you, Harry.”

“I think he overestimates my abilities, sir.” Harry shakes his head slightly. “Do you?” Dumbledore asks in a questioning tone. “Definitely.”

I roll my eyes and elbow his arm. “Please Harry, you were smart today. Take the win.” Dumbledore laughs. “What about your activities outside the classroom?”

I couldn’t help but notice his eyebrow raised specifically at Harry so I turned my body to raise mine as well. Did he know something I didn’t? Harry looked at the two of us. “Sir?”

“Well, I notice you've spent a great deal of time with Miss Granger. I can't help wondering if—”

“Oh, no, no, I mean... She's brilliant and we're friends. But no,” Harry interrupts and I couldn’t help but laugh. Harry shot me a glance and I tried coughing to cover it up. “What about you, little sister? Any activities outside the classroom?”

His emphasis on  _ activities  _ made my eyes shoot wide as I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. “No,” I said quietly and looked at the ground. 

“Forgive me. I was only being curious.” Dumbledore laughs. “But enough chit-chat. You must be wondering why I summoned you both here tonight. The answer lies here.” He walks over to a gold case and we follow him. “What you're looking at our memories. In this case, about one individual: Voldemort. Or as he was known, then: Tom Riddle. This vial contains the most sufficient memory. On the day I first met him. I'd like you both to see it. If you want.”

I felt something strange inside of me, like a wave of darkness and something evil, was flowing through my veins. And when I looked into the bowl, I saw the memory as Harry began pouring the vial in. 

_ “I admit to some confusion for receiving your letter, Mr. Dumbledore. In all the year's Tom's been here, he's never once had a family visitor,” A lady who was walking aside Dumbledore said. “There have been incidents with the other children...Nasty things.” They reached a door. “Tom, you have a visitor” _

_ “How'd you do, Tom?” Dumbledore greets young Voldemort. I could see Tom, sitting at his desk. Rocks aligning the windowsill. A book with a paper sticking out on his desk. Dumbledore walked inside and sat on his bed.  _

_ “Don't,” he answered, turning his body to face Dumbledore. “You're the doctor, aren't you?” _

_ “No, I'm a professor,” answered Dumbledore. Young Tom squints his eyes, “I don't believe you. She wants me looked at. They think I'm... different.” _

_ I felt angry all of the sudden watching this. Like I could feel what Voldemort felt in this moment. He was angry. Very angry. Angry at the people who locked him within four walls and maybe something else entirely.  _

_ My head pounding strengthened and a ringing in my ear began.  _

_ “Or perhaps they're right.”  _

_ “I'm not mad.” _

_ “Hogwarts is not a place for mad people,” Dumbledore tries to reason. “Hogwarts is a school. A school of magic. You can do things, can't you, Tom? Things other children can't.” _

_ “I can make things move without touching them,” he answers. “I can make animals do what I want without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who mean to me. I can make them hurt. If I want. Who are you?”  _

_ Dumbledore tries to tell him that he too is different and Tom wanted him to prove it. In a second, the wardrobe catches on fire. “I think there's something in your wardrobe trying to get out, Tom.” Tom walks over and takes out a box. Thievery is not tolerated at Hogwarts, Tom. At Hogwarts, we'll be taught not only how to use magic, but how to control it. You understand me?” _

_ “I can speak to snakes too,” Tom says back as Dumbledore begins to make his way out the door. “They find me. Whisper things. Is that normal for someone like me?” _

I blanked out as Harry had asked Dumbledore something and they spoke. I, instead, was staring into the water where the memory once was. I couldn’t ignore the similarities between us. My chest began to hurt and I felt a wave of fear flow through me. 

“(y/n),” Harry pulls me out of my head, placing a hand on my arm. “Are you alright with Slughorn collecting us?” I looked between him and Dumbledore. 

“If it’s important, yes.” Dumbledore nods at my answer. “Excuse me, I have to go,” I say abruptly before Harry could speak and almost run out the door. 

Harry didn’t call for me and neither did Dumbledore and I was grateful for it. 

I couldn’t breathe. My head was pounding and my chest was aching. Tears threatened to form in my eyes. I think I figured it out. The voice. The weird things I could do. And I was terrified. 

Of myself. 

I ran down the stairs and through the common rooms, ignoring someone’s question. I could see Draco shoot his head up from the corner of my eye where he was sitting. And the moment I turned the corner, I heard a chair skid on the ground. 

“Everyone out!” I heard his voice command. “Get to the Great Hall for Dinner. I don’t want to see anyone here for the next hour.” Groans came from some but no one talked back. As I was walking to my room, girls from the dorms walked past me in the opposite directions. 

I opened my door and slammed it shut, not wasting any time to take off my robe. I was suffocating and I needed to breathe. I bought my hands up to my hair and took my hair out of the ponytail I had put it in before leaving and took off my glasses to put it on my desk. 

My hands were shaking once I reached my tie. I heard the door open and Draco came to my side. “Take it off,” I stuttered. For some reason, I couldn’t undo my tie and it felt like it was getting tighter. 

I felt his hands wrap against mine and remove them. “Here,” he whispered, undoing it quickly. The moment he took it off, I began unbuttoning my shirt. It was still too hot in here. I was halfway done when his hands froze mine. 

“Don’t,” he said. “Why? Not like anything you haven’t seen before,” I scoffed. He brought his hands up to cup my cheek, “You need to calm down. Removing every article of clothing won’t help. Talk to me.” 

My breath quickened for a few seconds as we stared at each other. Everything I saw of Voldemort’s memory came back in flashes. 

I backed out of his hands. 

_ I can make things move without touching them. _

I turned around and placed my hands on my head. 

_ I can make bad things happen to people who mean to me.  _

I paced back and forth. 

_ I can make them hurt.  _

“You need to leave,” I said quietly. I knew he was going to say something when I turned around and saw him open his mouth. “No arguing, leave now.”

He looked behind him, grabbed my desk chair, and sat down. “I’m not going anywhere,” he glared at me down. “Not until I know you’re not going to hurt yourself and go insane again.”

“Insane!” I yell. “So you did believe the rumors.” 

“Give me another explanation Potter! I’ve been racking my head for months and I still don’t have anything,” he stands and pounds his fist on my desk. 

“I don’t know what to tell you Draco,” I cry and my journal flies off the couch and lands in front of him. 

_ I can make things move without touching them.  _ No. No. No.

He bends down to grab my journal and looks at it with a worried face but a shocked one as well. “You have this?” he asks, holding it up. I shrug, “It appeared on my desk and I write in it all the time. Why does the bloody journal matter?” 

He sets it down on my desk and walks towards me.  _ I can make them hurt.  _ I back up as he walks forward. “Don’t,” I say holding my hands out. He doesn’t listen. “Draco, I can hurt you. I’m not stable right now. And I don’t know what’s going on with me. You haven’t seen everything I can do or what goes on inside my he-”

“I don’t care,” he shakes his head and grabs my hands, tugging me towards him. He brings one of his hands to cup my cheek and his thumb brushes over my cheekbone. “Let me in.”

I shake my head slightly. “I can’t. How do I know if I tell you, you won’t run away? Or you won’t end up leaving me? Or if I hurt you? Of if I’m not good enough for-”

He pressed his lips on mine to silence me and I melted into him. I felt like I could breathe again. I closed my eyes to enjoy it, silence clouding my head for once. I could taste mint when our tongues collided as my hands grabbed onto his robe. 

“I think we can both agree we’re terrible for each other at the moment,” he whispered against my lips, his forehead pressed on mine. “And I’m not sure what this is anymore but I’m not leaving. Not for tonight at least.”

He grabs the back of mine to place a kiss on my forehead. “I just want to hold you tonight and make sure you’re alright.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter never uploaded for some reason and I just noticed! Sorry loves xxx


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of the Chapter: You're Somebody Else (acoustic)- Flora Cash  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nUQuN9w0xM

**Play song whenever ( I just listened to it on replay)**

The past two days have gone by in a blur. 

Draco did stay with me throughout the night after going back to his room to grab a change of clothes. He was being somewhat unusual. Maybe a little too nice. He kept his distance away from me outside of the comforts of the Slytherin House. 

Even then, he made sure to not speak to me unless he absolutely needed to. The most we’ve talked about was before a Prefect meeting yesterday to ensure we knew what we were saying. We had to report to the heads of the houses to make sure the first years were settling in smoothly. 

Some days, I forget I’m a Prefect. It’s just another thing to add to my plate and I think making House activities are the last things on my mind. 

Another thing was Quidditch was coming up and while I missed playing, I didn’t really know if I was going to try to get my spot back. Or to receive a new position. We needed a captain and a keeper but I wasn’t too sure. 

My dilemma wasn’t under control and I didn’t want to get angry on the field. I was scared of what would happen. But I still had time to contemplate whether or not I would be joining. 

The pounding in my head has lessened which was a good thing. Ever since the journal flew across the room, it was like I lifted weights off my brain. But at the same time, it scared me. It meant I let my emotions get the better of me. And that the pounding was tied to keeping the voice behind a closed door. 

Ever since I arrived at Hogwarts, it’s been getting harder and harder to keep it inside. I’m thankful it hasn’t talked to me or taken control. But I shouldn’t be jinxing myself. 

The three months of Summer were simple to keep it locked. I wasn’t surrounded by magic but by normality. And I think that helped. But here? It’s like I could feel the magic through the walls. The energy radiating off spells and potions. And I could feel the magic in my veins begging to be released. 

I wondered if the same was happening with Harry or if this was just me. He seemed fine. But then again, he thought I seemed fine as well. Between the two of us, however, I was better at hiding my emotions than he was. 

“Potter, grab me that book over there,” Theo calls out from the other side of the common room. I looked to my right to see a black book on the table which talked about herbs and their different purposes. Grabbing the book, I made my way back to where he sat and handed him the book as I sat in the chair next to him. 

We were in the common room working on a paper due for potions. Apparently we each had to write at least a two-page paper on different herbs, what they are used for, and the most common herbs people use. 

Theo had asked if I wanted to work on it with him but I’m pretty sure he had overheard Bella talking to me about having a “study date” in the common room since he continuously looked over at her. Honestly, I felt a little bad. Bella had told me she wasn’t looking for another relationship at the moment and I could see he liked her. 

After agreeing, here we were. Theo sat to the right of Bella as I sat in front of her, reading a similar book of Theo’s. 

But I haven’t been able to concentrate. Not for a while now. I’ve been mindlessly flipping through pages, hoping to form some sort of thesis and it hasn’t come out. And the paper is due tomorrow. 

Groaning, I rub the corner of my temple. “Everything alright?” Bella asked, not looking up from writing. I nod. “Just a bit of a headache.” 

But this one was different. It felt like someone was pulling me. Something wanted me to come to it and not something wanting to be free. Every couple of minutes, there would be a sharp pain, a ringing, and then nothing. 

“You should maybe go try to lay down and take a nap. You still have time to write this,” Theo says, looking up from his book. I gave him a soft smile and I saw Bella nodding. “Okay,” I softly say and grab my things to head to my room. 

After saying my goodbyes, I headed to my room. Knight made a sound the moment I opened the door and I rolled my eyes at him. But instead of saying anything, I unlocked his cage to let him free. I didn’t even bother taking off my clothes before I laid back on my bed and closed my eyes. 

***

**Draco’s POV**

“Anything going on between you and (y/n) recently?” Pansy asked as she came up next to me. 

I was walking back from the library after grabbing a book to help with tonight’s paper and happened to have run into her. And afterward, she followed me around and was now following me back to the common room. 

“It’s none of your business,” I simply state, not looking her way. She laughs and rolls her eyes. “Oh, come on Draco. It’s merely only a question.” 

Ignoring her, I continue walking forward and not paying attention to what’s happening around me. Especially how Pansy’s fingers were brushing against mine causing me to roll my eyes. She tries to ask again but I ignore her and beg for the walk to end quickly. I just wanted to go to my room and write this paper. 

And think about what in the bloody hell I was thinking for the past few days. I bloody kissed her and then comforted her. This wasn’t the plan. Not even remotely close to it. 

The mark that hid on my inner wrist pulsed through my veins. I could feel the coldness in my veins from the power it gave off. But the force I felt pulling me towards her was stronger. 

I felt calmer with her. Felt less angry. At the world, at my father, and myself. And I had small hope she did too. Last year, she would’ve gotten angrier if I continued to pester her and stand my ground. Last year, she would’ve gone insane. Well, insane may be a horrible word for it but what other word was there?

Anyways, this time she didn’t fight it. She didn’t fight me. 

It scared me more than it soothed me. She was too calm. I had an awful pit in my gut that something was going to happen. That this year was beginning to take a turn for the worst and not only because of what I was instructed to do.

It was like we were both pouring gasoline throughout Hogwarts and one of us was bound to light it, letting everything go to flames. 

“Draco, are you even listening to me?” Pansy grabs my arm and turns my body. I looked to see that we were in the common room now and I didn’t even realize it. I looked down at her hand on my arm and pushed it off. 

“Don’t touch me,” I sneered and tried to walk off but she followed me. “You know she’ll never love you, right?” 

Looking around the hallway, I saw no one here. It was too late and the majority were out in the study areas or the halls. Only our group resided in the common room. 

Backing her up to the wall, I begin to speak. “I’m going to say a few words and then go to my room. If I hear you spreading lies or speaking badly about (y/n), I will not hesitate to air out your dirty laundry to the entire house. I don’t know how much I could make this any more clear Pansy, we’re done. I don’t have any feelings for you anymore.

And I think we both know I never did in the beginning. I made it clear to you and you wished to continue. Our family’s want us to be together but that will never happen. I suggest you stop trying to insert yourself in my life and move on before things take a turn for the worse.” 

Letting go of her neck, I go to my room and open the door quickly but stop at the sight in front of me. 

“(y/n)?” I startled her. Her back was towards her and she was facing my desk, her hand reaching out as if she was going to touch something. My bag was slightly open the way I left it. I looked at the bag and realization hit me, my eyes going wide. 

Her body whips around and shock was written on her face. “Sorry...I…” she looks back at the desk and back at me frantically. “I’ve been having a hard time writing and I saw your paper and…”

She stops talking when I laugh, closing the door. Relief flowed through me. The paper. She was about to grab my paper. My heart which was pounding fast and loud began to slow down. I shake my head as I walk towards her and set the book on my desk, picking up my almost done paper instead. 

Handing it to her, I say, “Go ahead.” 

“You’re just going to hand it to me?” she questions, crossing her arms. I shrug and urge her to take it. She takes it and bites her lip. “Thank you.”

She turned away to look at where my bed was and sat on it. I crossed my arms, leaning against my desk watching her. She looked confused. And bored. 

Which I found strange. Papers were her strength. She could write quickly and perfectly. I knew she was having headaches but how bad are they if she had to come to look at mine? 

After a couple of moments, she sets the paper on my bed and lays back with her eyes closed. I shift and try to cover up my gasp with a cough when I see her jumper ride up her body, giving me a full view of what was underneath. 

“Do you need help in understanding my paper or something?” I ask, needing her to switch positions. I couldn’t come out and demand her to pull down her jumper. She would’ve been embarrassed and left quickly. And I didn’t want her to leave. 

Opening her eyes, she sits up and nods. I push myself off the desk and sit beside her on the bed, grabbing my paper. 

She looks uninterested as I try to explain my thesis and some of the herbs I provided. However, she was very much interested in the outline of my plain bedroom and my desk. Her eyes darted to it consistently and I worried she knew what was in my bag. 

She couldn’t find out. And certainly couldn’t touch it. I wouldn’t allow it. I should’ve placed it somewhere else or maybe not have left my bag open. 

“Darling, are you listening?” I ask her when her eyes dart back to the desk. She laughs. “Honestly, no. I’m bored.” Before I could speak again, she climbed into my lap and my hands stayed frozen in the air. 

“(y/n), what are you doing?” She rolled her eyes and placed her lips on mine. I stayed frozen for a couple of minutes before I started kissing her back, my hands going to her hips. 

Her hands cupped my face as she slightly tilted her head and kissed me with more force. Our tongues collided and battled for dominance. But when my hand went up to the nape on her neck and tugged a little, she let out a moan and lost. 

This was unlike her. The only other time she did this was once when she needed a heavy distraction after getting into a fight with Harry two years ago. “(y/n),” I groaned, pulling away. She hummed and moved her lips down to my neck. 

“Okay,” I breathe, grabbing her hands from my face and pulling them away. “As much as I would love to do this. Are you alright?”

She furrowed her eyebrows. “What are you insinuating? That just because I want to snog with you means something is the matter?” I closed my eyes and shook my head. “No, I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.” 

She scoffs and rolls her eyes, climbing off my lap. “You know Draco, you’re not the only one who gets to kiss me just because he wishes to with no explanation whatsoever.” 

“Wait,” I say, grabbing her wrist. “That’s not what I-”

“It was a mistake coming here.”

She grabs her wrist back and begins to walk to my door causing me to stand. Well, her mood changes quickly. Before I could say her name to call her back, she doubled over in pain and placed her palm on the wall near the door. 

I walked over quickly, confusion taking over as to what was going on. Grabbing her waist as she lost balance, I turned her body to face her. Her eyes opened and I could’ve sworn I saw fear flashing through her eyes. 

“Draco,” she breathed. “Where am I?” Before I could question what she meant, her body went limp in my arms. 

***

**(y/n)’s POV**

_Darkness. I woke up again in darkness and I heard a laugh. Someone was laughing. A child. Was it a child?_

_Opening my eyes slowly, I saw a girl standing before me in the entryway of a hallway. When my vision became lucid, I realized it was me. Well, a younger version of me but still me._

_“Wait,” I called out to her when she turned around and ran. Slowly and painfully, I stood. Grabbing my pounding head, the headache becoming stronger._

_Last I remembered I fell asleep. Or I think I did. Did I faint? And then, I woke up in Draco’s arms. But then the darkness pulled me back under and it felt like someone was tugging me back into the cell of my mind._

_“Come on!” The girl giggled. I stood slowly and followed her into the dark hallway. Looking around, fear crept inside of me. I was back in my head. I knew it. It was still Hogwarts but it seemed just like it was in my dreams. Which is how I knew the girl was a figment of my imagination._

_And the only reason I would be back here, lucid, is because of the voice inside of me. I knew it wasn’t long till it came back. And I think I was grateful that it was in a dream and not in a reality where I could hurt the people I loved._

_But Draco? How did I wake up in his arms? Was I even in his arms? Or was it merely a figment of my imagination? It probably was because there was no way I could be in his arms when I fell asleep alone in my room with him nowhere near the house._

_“(y/n)?” I call out to my younger self. “Where are you?”_

_“Right here,” she says somewhere to my right. I turn to look to my right and see her standing in the middle of a room. I walk closer to her and tilt my head, “What are you doing here?”_

**_What is she doing here indeed…_ ** _My body becomes startled at the hiss I hear, a hiss of a snake. And within the darkness behind my younger self, its body slithers along the ground._

_When I warn her, she doesn’t move. Instead, she turns around and touches its body. My face turns into a frown and then confusion as I watch her become in peace with the devil._

**_You must be confused, Potter. You see she is but a figment of your imagination. A concoction I conjured from your memories as a young child to merely show you what I can do, even within the walls of your mind._ **

_“What are you-” I begin to question but stop when I see it’s body wrap around my young self and become tighter. She gasps and freezes, staying as still as a statue. Before I could speak and tell it to stop, the breath in my throat got tighter._

_I couldn’t breathe as if it was squeezing me. As if my younger self was only a voodoo doll of some sort and the true victim was myself._

_I fall to the floor, the palms of my hand spreading wide on the cold tiles. “Why don’t you just kill me?” I struggle saying as I try to catch my breath. “Why the charades? You want to take over my body. You want to be in power. You have an agenda. Why keep me alive?”_

**_Because sadly, I can’t live if you can’t. Well until I find a way to kill you while I still live._ **

_The feeling on my throat tightened one last time before it let go entirely, my younger self disappearing into thin air. I coughed uncontrollably and placed my head on the ground, trying to catch my breath._

**_Do you know what happened tonight?_ **

_While still coughing, I shook my head and looked up. The snake's head grew as it towered over mine. It laughed in a way and a mist appeared behind it of grey and black. It engulfed the snake and in place, the laughter turned feminine. When the smoke cleared, it was me. A replica. Except for one key detail._

_She had the dark mark exactly where my scar was, under my collarbone and near my heart. She walked closer to me and kneeled by my side._

**_Draco is a great kisser. I can see why you don’t want to let go of him. And his hands? The way they grab-_ **

_“What are you talking about?” I sneer. She laughs, “_ **_Oh darling, do you think those headaches came from nowhere? I took over your consciousness. There’s something I want. Something I know Draco has. He’s not the person you think he is._ ** _”_

_“Shut up,” I roll my eyes and begin to stand. “You don’t know anything about him. And please, Draco would know it’s not me. Besides, there’s no way you took over my consciousness. I’ve never heard about something like this.”_

_She laughs and shakes her head. “_ **_You sound naive. How are we talking? Do you really think this is normal? I told you, I’m who you truly are. You need to let me in and you’ll be okay. You’ll be able to see what I see. Feel what I feel. We will be one. But resist me? And I’ll have to take over by force. Leaving you to know nothing of what I do. And well, you see the mark. I’m not sure you want me to take complete control._ ** _”_

_I walk closer to her and level with her face to face. Anger boils inside of me and I could hear cracks along the Hogwarts windows in my mind beginning to crack. “And I told you, it will never happen. Whatever you are. Whatever disease has taken over my mind, I will destroy. I’m done with the blackouts. I’m done with you.”_

_Her hand wraps around my neck and tightens as she yells. “_ **_You think you can destroy me?! I am you. Destroying me would be destroying yourself. And would you really do that to you? Or better yet, to Harry? Taking away the only family he has left?_ ** _”_

_“I would rather it be myself than him. We both know you’ll destroy everyone and everything I love. And with that mark on your chest, you would side with the Dark Lord.”_

_She laughs and throws me on the ground, my head slamming into the floor. My vision becomes hazy as my eyes struggle to stay open. She kneels near my head and whispers, “_ **_Things are about to get a lot worse Potter._ ** _” My vision turns black._

_***_

**Draco’s POV**

I pace back and forth near my bed, my bottom lip between my forefinger and thumb. My gaze is on (y/n) whom I placed on my bed. It’s been nearly an hour since she scared me and she hasn’t moved from her place. 

Every couple of seconds, I would walk over to her and feel her pulse. I’ve never seen her so still. Even when I would hold her while she slept, she would move slightly and involuntarily. But she was as still as a rock. 

Theo came in about forty minutes ago for an entirely different reason but yelled at me when he saw her in my bed and saw me being frantic. He asked me what I did and if I injured her in any way. I tried to tell him I did nothing but he wouldn’t believe me. 

The only thing he said was I better pray she woke up and was fine. 

After Theo left, I tried finishing my paper and well I did. But I don’t remember what I wrote. And I’m pretty sure the ending to it was complete and utter gibberish. I also started writing (y/n)’s paper. I slightly rewrote and changed my thesis so it wasn't the complete same and overall, it was similar. But then again, all our papers should be if we wrote about the same thing. 

When I was done, something came to thought. The way (y/n) acted towards me tonight wasn’t like her. She would never have come into my room and tried to look at my paper. Mine? Out of all people. She would’ve likely gone to Theo or Hermione. Even Harry before asking me. 

And then she wanted to snog with me? No, it didn’t make any sense. At least, it didn’t make any sense in my mind. 

I’m just glad I caught her before her curiosity got the best of her and reached into the bag. I would never have forgiven myself if the necklace got into her hands. It could have killed her. 

I walk over to my desk and grab the package within the bag. Opening my wardrobe door, I quickly hid the package on the floor for it not to be seen. While hiding it within the clothes, I heard the bedsheets shifting behind me. 

“Draco,” I heard her say, softly and when I turned, her hand was placed on the back of her head. “What happened?”

My eyes roam around her body. Trying to figure out what in bloody hell was going on when a question popped up in my head. What if she wasn't (y/n)? I always saw how (y/n) would talk to herself and say she didn't want to hurt anyone. Sometimes to go away. What if this was bigger than that? But I've never heard of possession. I tried to think of a question only she would know and I remember this didn't happen in our fifth year so maybe just maybe, this question would work.

“What did you wear to the Yule Ball?” 

Her brows raise and her head tilts. “What?” I step closer to the bed. “What did you wear to the Yule Ball?” I ask slower. She rolls her eyes. 

“What does this have-”

“Just answer the bloody question. What did you wear to the ball?”

She looks at me with confusion in her eyes for a couple of seconds before laughing. (y/n)’s head tilts backward as she looks up to the ceiling. “He’s smarter than I realized,” she whispers before looking back at me. “I figure you must be terribly confused on what’s going on? Well, I’ll tell you this much. She’s not insane. Going insane? That’s up for debate.”

I cross my arms and lean against my bedpost as she sits up with her back resting on the headboard. “You have four minutes to explain what in bloody hell is going on before I call Snape and Dumbledore in here and take you down to the infirmary.” 

“Whatever happened to the usual five?” she jokes, smiling at me. “It was lost when you failed to ask the bloody question. Now speak.”

She holds her hands up in the air. “Alright alright. Don’t get all angry with me now, Malfoy. Where do I even start? Ah, imagine (y/n) as a vessel of some sort. A vessel for _darkness_ let’s say. And say I am so-called _darkness._ I’m a part of her body, mind, and soul. I’ve always been a part of her from the day she received her mark from the Dark Lord. 

You see Draco, she’s never been the polite (y/n) you think she is. But alas, there’s only so much I can do to influence her. In the muggle world, I am mostly dormant because there’s no magic I can tap into and it is harder to perform such magic without the right tools or source. 

But here at Hogwarts, magic pulses through the walls and air. It allows me to use it as a tether. My hold on her strengthens. And so, all the pains she gets...the pounding in her head…”

“It’s you,” I interrupt. “Every time she gets angry or severely upset, she changes. As if she’s holding back something.”

“You’re smart,” she smiles, climbing out of the bed and walking towards me. “I tell her to give in. To let us become one. To show everyone she’s much stronger than she seems but she refuses to hurt people. And since I’m the dark version of her, her being upset and angry feeds me. It’s why she tries to calm herself down. Because she becomes weak and I become stronger. 

And she already knows of my capabilities. You do too. Well, not all of it. Not even an eighth of it. And if she resists letting me take control or resists my instructions, I remind her of what I can do.”

I unfold my arms and clench my fists as they drop to my side. “What do you do to her?” 

Her hand reaches over to touch my cheek and she raises herself until her lips reach my ear. “I destroy her from the inside. I can’t kill her, not yet. I need to find a way to use her body without her being alive. Honestly, now I’m receiving a pounding headache from her trying to awaken.”

My hand wraps around (y/n)’s neck and turns her so her body is pressed against the bedpost I was leaning on. She laughs and shakes her head. My hand wraps tighter. “You forget Draco,” she struggles to breathe. “I’m still (y/n) technically. You’re hurting her as well. And killing her while I’m the host, kills her too.”

My hand lets go quickly as I back up watching (y/n) catch her breath. “She'll find out eventually,” (y/n) laughs. I raise a brow at her and she looks at my left sleeve. 

“Death Eater.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehe. This may have confused you guys even more with what's the voice in her head or maybe it cleared things up? Let me know your thoughts. 
> 
> Also, there is an extension on google called interactivefics and it changes every (y/n) to a name of your choosing to give you a better reading experience if you choose to use it! That way you can actually insert yourself in a way. But please keep in mind that even though this is a (y/n) setting, the physical appearance is set to specifics. She is Harry's twin afterall so she has to look very similiar hence the dark brown hair and brown eyes. 
> 
> However, the answer shall come soon. Well, not SOON but soon. And I'm sorry if this wasn't the best, it was more a filler for the next chapter which will be more...mature... 
> 
> But anyways, hope you all liked it nonetheless. Please don't forget to kudos and comment.


	25. *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of the Chapter
> 
> Close- Nick Jonas, Tove Lo
> 
> 🎵'Cause if I want you, then I want you, babe  
> Ain't going backwards, won't ask for space  
> 'Cause space was just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get too🎵

[ Song of the Chapter ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgJFqVvb2Ws)

***Sexual content ahead***

I woke up today with a pounding headache. My hand goes up to the back of my head to touch where I felt a sharp pain and pressing on it, hurt it more. I knew why it was pounding but I was grateful I was in my own room. 

And I was still in my uniform, I had fallen asleep in. But what I don’t remember was being under the covers when I closed my eyes. 

Everything came back in flashes. My younger self running through the halls of Hogwarts. The snake appearing in my dream. The smoke. The Dark Mark on my chest. 

My hand shot to my heart, looking down at my scar and breathing out deeply when I was sure there was no mark and it was only a figment of my dreams. 

**_I took over your consciousness. There’s something I want. Something I know Draco has._ **

I sat up slowly and brought my knees to my chest, running a hand across my face. I don’t remember anything. I don’t remember waking up. I don’t remember getting under the covers. 

How was any of this possible? Maybe I was just having a nightmare. That was all. A nightmare. There was no possible way it took over my consciousness without me knowing. 

I know I’ve had blackouts before but I was still  _ there.  _ This time, I was out cold. It wasn’t possible. 

And if it were true, I kissed Draco? And something about his- 

No. No. I didn’t. He wouldn’t do anything, especially since we had a paper due today. 

The paper! Bloody hell. I quickly pulled the covers off my bed and ran to my desk, staring at the books and papers across it. Nothing. I wrote nothing. 

Knight made a sound and I groaned, letting him out of his cage quickly before going to the washroom to freshen up. Everyone’s off to breakfast but I’m going to stay behind because I can not fall behind my classes. 

I have exactly an hour and fifteen minutes to finish this. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I decided to place my hair up and unbutton my shirt before sitting at my desk. 

To be completely honest, I have no idea what I wrote. I made up some random thesis and used random evidence from the books I had to connect back to it. If anyone asked me to explain, I would blank. Why should I explain something I wrote anyway? That’s what the analysis portion was for. Yet sometimes our professors love to ask us to “elaborate”. 

Why write a paper then? Just have a bloody discussion. 

I didn’t realize how much time had passed before I started hearing a banging on my door. 

“(y/n) come on, we’re going to be late for class,” I hear Bella bang. Taking one more look at my paper, I nod in satisfaction. 

“I’m coming!” I yell back. I grab my bag and run to the door, fixing my shirt and opening it, finding her waiting for me. “Finally, what were you doing? You missed breakfast.” She asks as we walk down the corridor. “Finishing my paper.”

We walked to our classes. Turns out, I spent way too much time writing my conclusion and was almost extremely late. I was grateful Bella came to get me. Bella waved goodbye as she crossed the hall to her class. 

“Alright children, take your seats. Let’s go. Let’s go. Papers in the basket. Draco, put that bottle down now” Professor Slughorn proclaims as I walked in, placed my paper in the black basket, and I took my seat next to Hermione.

“Well well well boys, look we have here. (y/n), having a bit of fun were you?” Draco laughs. “What are you going on about now Draco?” I sigh annoyed. “Your tie is messed up and your shirt is not buttoned all the way. Were you messing around with someone instead of going to breakfast?”

I looked down and groaned, fixing my attire. “Oh shut it Draco, I was running late. Besides what’s wrong if I were with someone, jealous?” 

He stopped laughing and walked towards me, stopping a few inches away. He leaned into my ear to whisper, “Careful (y/n), we both know the fun we had last night and whoever you were with has nothing compared to me.” Pulling away, he laughs and winks. Groaning, I turn around to sit next to Hermione. 

_ What did you do last night with Draco?  _ I try to ask the voice inside my head but I receive no response. 

“What was that about,” Ron asks. “Nothing. I don’t understand why I was put into being a Slytherin. Seeing Draco all night and day is a pain in my behind,” I roll my eyes. Harry laughs. 

“Now, children. Today we’ll be continuing our learnings of the potion by the name of “Amortentia. Someone, please tell us what it entails again for the refreshment of memory.” Professor Slughorn asks hands behind his back. 

“The love potion,” I whisper, head looking down. Professor Slughorn looks my way, “I’m sorry darling, what was that? Speak up.”

“I said the love potion. Not only just any love potion but the most powerful one in existence. It makes one feel love stronger than love. Obsession, you can call it. It’s dangerous. I don’t understand why it’s even in the category of a love potion when it’s not even real love, to begin with.”

Professor Slughorn laughs. “Well you’re right (y/n). Did everyone hear what she said?” Nods take place around the classroom. “You cannot create real love. It’s impossible. Like (y/n) stated, it creates obsession. However, an important thing to remember is the person under the effect of the potion will only obsess over the person who administered it.”

Draco laughs, “Well there you have it (y/n), maybe I should just create the potion and give it to you. Could make your obsession of me come to life.” I scoff. “Oh please Draco, we all know you’re obsessed with me even without the potion.”

Laughter erupts in the room. Draco clenches his jaw while making eye contact. “Maybe (y/n) knows how to make the potion already professor. Seeing how she had Cedric wrapped around her finger. Don’t know why he would be obsessed with her. Don’t see how anyone would be, she’s not special,” he says, the last sentence said in a whisper. 

I break eye contact looking at the floor, tears threatening to form in my eyes. 

Where did the mention of Cedric even come from? I don’t understand his issue with Cedric. It wasn’t my fault I went to the Yule Ball with Cedric. I waited for Draco to ask me, even decided I wasn’t going to go if Draco wasn’t by my side. 

But he never did.

I didn’t even go with Cedric as anything more than a friend. Ever since Draco saw me enter, he’s been another person. The Draco I once knew was gone. Everyone was used to seeing sassy, sometimes rude Draco but he wasn’t that to me. He was sweet, kind, and always made me laugh. Not anymore. Now I see the face he puts on. 

I thought we were past it. I thought this past year, we slowly became better again. Two steps forward, one step back it seems. 

“Are you alright, (y/n)?” Harry asks, breaking me out of my daydream. I nod, “Yes, I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.” He sighs, “Quite all right. Don’t let Draco get to your head. Rude one, he is.” I laugh hiding the pain. 

Minutes passed as Professor Slughorn gave the lecture about how a wizard should never consider making this potion and the dangers that come with it. Draco looked over at me a couple of times and I did the same. Our eyes never meet. I could feel the tension between us and so could everyone around us. 

Even though we were lectured to not make the potion, we were still required to make it today for our “learning”. Don’t understand why but I don’t question it. Hermione and I were partners and we were almost done with the potion when Draco and his goons came over and “accidentally” spilled it all over the floor. 

“Draco!” I yell in frustration. “Oops,” he laughs. “Ugh! You are unbelievable! Why must you be this rude?!” 

“Oh shut it (y/n). It was merely only an accident!” he yells back. 

“What in bloody hell is going on here?!” exclaims Professor Slughorn. He looks at the potion now on the ground and then at Draco. “Detention Malfoy.” 

Draco rolls his eyes, “What? It was an accident!” Professor shakes his head,” You shouldn’t even be over in this vicinity. You should be working on your potion.” 

“Exactly, Draco. Why are you so obsessed with sabotaging me? Get over yourself, would you?” I yell. “Detention as well Ms.Potter.” I looked at him in question. 

“This whole quarrel between you and Mr.Malfoy is getting out of hand. You two will stay after class and clean this mess along with everyone else's. Class dismissed.”

I groan and shoot daggers at Draco. Hermione, Harry, and Ron show their sympathy and say they’ll meet me in a little when supper begins. Everyone leaves until it’s just Draco and I left standing. 

I began cleaning the dropped potion on the floor trying to be careful not to cut my finger on a shard of glass but I failed. “Dammit,” I hissed, grabbing my hand whose palm was now cut. 

Draco runs to my side. “What happened,” he asks, worried flashing across his face, grabbing my hand where blood is gushing out from the wound. “Dammit (y/n) I could’ve cleaned that.”

He drags me to the first aid kit, “Well if you weren’t being such an ass, there would be nothing to clean in the first place”. He lets go of my hand to open the kit. “I’m sorry.”

I laugh. “Draco Malfoy, sorry? I don’t believe it. You’ve been rude since the Yule ball. What did I do to you Malfoy?” 

He begins cleaning my wound, “Drop it (y/n). I don’t wish to discuss this with you right now.” I shake my head. “Then when Draco? I have done nothing wrong to you. I haven’t wronged you in any way I-”

“(Y/N)! I said drop it. Why must you be so difficult?!” 

“Me? Difficult? It’s a simple question Draco. One with an answer only you can give me. You know what, I’ll finish cleaning this. Go clean something else,” I say taking my hand from his. 

He takes my hand back,” Don’t be absurd. I’m the reason you’re hurt.” I sighed shaking my head and whisper, “I’ll never understand you Draco. One minute you’re showing me who you really are and the next you put your walls up against me of all people. And now here you are, mending to my small wound. And you say you want to help me with me going insane. Yet you’re the one who pushes me to insanity. What is it, Draco?”

I took a breath before continuing, laughing while talking. “We had a fling. It wasn’t serious. You didn’t want anything serious. We didn’t. And then YOU wanted to be with Pansy. We were young and reckless and stupid. So what if I liked Cedric? You weren’t the only one who deserved to have someone. And here you go again bringing up Yule Ball and Cedric. Why must that be a constant for you?”

Silence. 

That’s all there was for a few. Just our breathing. Until he spoke. 

“I was jealous.”

**Play Song now!**

I looked up at him confused but his eyes were still on my hand which was now wrapped. “What?”

“When I saw you at the Yule Ball with Cedric. I was jealous. I wanted to ask you to go with me but I was afraid you wouldn’t want to, being sisters with Potter and all. I know he doesn’t like me. And I know we had an arrangement and it was meant to be a secret. But I did want to ask you. You’re different (y/n). You’re not like every other Slytherin in the house. You don’t follow my every step. You’re cunning in the most beautiful way possible. You liked to challenge me and my authority. You were a Slytherin with the bravery of a Gryffindor, loyal as a Hufflepuff, and as clever as a Ravenclaw. All while being a cunning Slytherin. It’s astonishing really. But when I heard Cedric was making plans on asking you, I thought you would be better off with him. With a Hufflepuff. So I didn’t ask. I didn’t want to end up hurting you. But everything changed when I saw you at the ball. You were wearing a green dress that was tight in all the right places but flowed to the ground with gold leaves and embroidered on the top and the bottom. It knocked the wind out in me. But then he entered behind and I forgot for a second that you weren’t mine anymore and so I decided to avoid you all night.”

I would be lying if I say I didn’t tear up. I wanted Draco to ask me. I was waiting for him. But here he was saying he didn’t deserve me. I raised my injured hand to cup his chin forcing him to look at me, “I would’ve said yes Draco if you asked. Who cares about Harry or what anyone would think? Bloody hell, I was waiting for you to ask. But why were you so rude of me afterward?”

He sighed, “Because (y/n), all I thought about was making you hate me because maybe then it would be easier to get over you.” 

I shook my head, tears slightly escaping one by one. He brought his hand up to place it on my cheek, wiping the tears away as I melted into his hand. “Darling, don’t cry. I’m sorry. I really am.”

I sniffle and look at him once more. I saw Draco, the real Draco. I saw him again. I saw the dam of his ocean eyes opened and an ocean flow through it. I saw him in his eyes. Not the mask. Without thinking twice, I brought my hands up to his face and kissed him. He didn’t kiss back because he was startled but after a second he kissed back, bringing his other hand to the back of my neck to deepen the kiss. 

I moved my hands away from his face to his chest. My palms on both sides. Our kiss lasted longer than expected. “I’m sorry,” I whispered as I backed away. Our foreheads were touching and our breathing escalated. He shakes his head, “No, I’ve been wanting to do that for a while. Don’t be sorry.”

I laughed, placed my hands on his hips, and looked up at him, my bottom lip sucked in my mouth. He smiles, “You know Ms.Potter we are stuck in detention for a while and I cleaned up everything quickly. Whatever will we do in the meantime?” 

“Mr.Malfoy, are you suggesting here where anyone can walk in? At any moment?” He looks at me and then turns walking towards the door, locking it, then making his way back. Within seconds, his hands are on my ass hoisting me up so my legs wrap around his waist and his lips back on mine. 

_ I guess that settles it then.  _

I feel myself getting settled on something cold and I place my hand on what I feel to be the table, making sure I don’t fall off. His hands are now on my waist bringing me to the edge, our mouths never leaving each other. 

I can’t explain what I’m feeling. It’s like flying. It’s like for once I can breathe again. 

“Draco,” I whisper between kisses, grabbing his face in my hands. He pulls away, looking me in the eyes, “Is this okay? Do I need to stop?” I laugh. “No, no this is perfect. But why do we always result in this?”

He smiles, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I never want him to stop smiling. He leans in but kisses the corner of my mouth traveling to my throat, around to the side of my neck, and finally to my sweet spot under my ear. I gasped, my eyes fluttering closed, feeling overwhelmed by the pleasure. “Found it,” he whispers and continues his attack. Sucking, nibbling, biting. He knew what he was doing. My hands grasped his forearms that were holding my neck. I moaned his name. 

With that, he came back to my lips. One of his arms coming around my back the other to my thigh pulling me close. He kissed me, a mixture of hunger, pleasure, and love. He bit my bottom lip and sucked on it. My vision was hazy. I couldn’t deal with it. I needed more. I needed him. 

As much as we shouldn’t be doing this. It’s how Draco and I have connected. It was our way of connection. It may have been a terrible way to connect and it’s the way we ended in ruins the first time. But what’s a little flame without being burned?

“Draco,” I whispered. “Draco, I need you.”

“You have me, darling,” he says in between kisses. I shake my head, groaning. He pulls away, “Are you sure, (y/n)? We don’t have to. Not here anyway, we can wait.” Again, I shake my head. “No, I can’t wait. Now.”

“As you wish,” and with that, he went back to my lips. This time his hands undoing my robe and then my tie. His fingers moved quickly to undo the buttons on my white button-up as I began to undo his attire. After a couple of buttons were undone, his lips left my lips and made their way to my collarbone, leaving sloppy kisses while doing so. I was undoing his tie, making his head come up to help me get it off. Before he could go back to kissing my collarbone, I leaned him and nuzzled my face into his neck. Taking in the smell of his cologne, I began kissing his jaw. I made my way under it and to the side of his neck. I took his earlobe between my lips, gently tugging on it, and then continued to kiss down his neck. 

“Dammit (y/n),” he groaned and brought my lips up to meet him. “No more teasing, darling. We don’t have enough time.” His hands moved down the sides of my body as his lips and mine were fighting for dominance. I eventually gave in, letting him roam my mouth. He guided me to lay back on the table I was laying on. Taking his lips off of mine, he made his way down my body. Kissing me along the way. 

I couldn’t breathe. But not in a bad way. In a good way. He was taking my breath away. And I wasn’t going to stop him. He kissed my collarbone. The top of my breasts. Down my stomach. To my thighs. He knelt and I knew exactly what was going to happen. He took the bottom of my skirt and flipped it so now it was on my stomach. His fingers laced through my tights, lifting my hips off, he pulled them down.

He kissed my inner thigh slowly, taking his time. I was sure he would leave marks to remind me of this where only I can see it. He was sucking and biting. Torturing me. “Draco,” I moan. 

He laughs and continues to kiss me this time trailing closer. My hands found his hair and I tugged. He groaned, separating my legs farther until I finally felt him on my core. I held my breath as he finally let his tongue roam free. I lift my hips off the table and moan only for his hand to come on my stomach, forcing me back down. His hand moves to my side pressing me down. His other, taking one of my legs to put it on his shoulder, allowing him to reach another angle and then settling on my other side. 

I moaned his name again, I couldn’t think of any other words to say. His tongue licked and sucked every inch of me. Without expecting it, I felt his finger enter me. I sucked in a breath. My back arching. And then, a second entered. He worked me with both his tongue and his fingers. I took one of my hands out from Draco’s hair to press it against my lips. I wanted to scream but I know I couldn’t. We had to be quiet so no one would walk in. But it was getting hard. I was reaching my high. And Draco knew it. 

My back arched once more as I released a whine. I finally let go. He took his time, letting me ride my high, and then came up meeting his lips with mine. I could still taste small tastes of myself. But I didn’t mind. I couldn’t think. I needed him. 

I reached my hand down to his trousers, unbuttoning it, and letting my hand grab his bulge. He groaned in my mouth. I was going to start pleasuring him until his hand grabbed my wrist. I pulled away looking confused. “No, today is about pleasuring you,” he said looking into my eyes and then kissed my neck. He made his way to my sweet spot, attacking it once more. My hands grab the back of his robe. 

“Draco, I need you. Please don’t make me say it again,” I beg. His hand goes to his pockets to pull out the condom and I look at him with a smile. I sit up and laugh. “Oh shut it, it actually came in handy after all,” he laughs. He rips the foil with his teeth and places it on him. Putting one arm around my waist, he pulls me to the edge of the table. My legs wrap around him and I could feel his member on my thigh. He takes his free hand to help himself position between my legs. 

He leans in to kiss me and one of my hands cup his face while the other snakes around his neck. While we’re kissing, I feel him enter me and I moan into the kiss. He doesn’t move, waiting for me to adjust until I move my hips. He pulled back and entered into me again at a slow pace. I was still adjusting to the feeling of him inside of me. His lips leave mine and kiss my throat before making his way to my collarbone. I threw my head back giving him better access. His lips moved to my breasts. Or where they appeared anyway. He was leaving his marks. 

“Bloody hell (y/n),” he groans. “You feel amazing.” And with that, he quickened his pace. 

He slides his hands around my back and down to my ass. Hoisting me up, he thrusts in me harder and faster. I let out a moan and threw my head into his neck. He carries me to the wall. My back now against it. His hands at my hips keep me steady as he continues to thrust. The tension was building inside me, I was feeling tighter. 

Our heavy breathing and moans filled the room. I looked into his eyes. His blue eyes looked even bluer. But a darker shade. Filled with lust. I moved my hands to his shoulders under his shirt and dug my nails into his skin. He groans at the feeling and I let go. I didn’t want to hurt him and I could see I was. “No, it’s okay. I’m okay,” he moans. He places his forehead on mine. 

I had to let go. I was so tight but I was holding off for him. I felt him holding back, I knew him. I looked at him in the eyes, “Draco, let go. It’s okay.” He shook his head, steady at his pace, “I don’t want to hurt you.” I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes. I needed him to use me in any way he pleased. 

“I know you won’t. I’m safe with you, but I need you to let yourself go. Please.”

My back comes back off the wall and I’m back on the table. He kisses my forehead before he begins thrusting in hard and deep. My back arched and I wanted to scream. My mouth opened but his hand clamped it shut. His forehead on mine and my eyes were rolling to the back of my head. 

“Bloody hell, (y/n), I’m close,” he breathes.  _ Good because I can’t handle this anymore _ . I wanted to say but I couldn’t. I had no words. His mouth finds my ear, “Let go, darling. You can let go.” With that and a kiss to my earlobe, I do. I let my high free and I felt his soon following. We stayed like this for a little, he collapsed on top of me but careful not to put all his weight on me. 

After a couple of seconds, he stands up, fixing his trousers and his tie. He grabs my tights and helps me put them on, letting my skirt down. I go to sit up and one of his hands wraps around my back helping me while the other grabs my hand. My head falls on his chest. I can feel him chuckle and kiss the top of my head. I look up at him, “What’s so funny Malfoy?” He shakes his head, “Nothing, I just can’t believe we did this. I’ve been wanting to do it for so long.”

I laugh buttoning my shirt while saying, “Looks like you were obsessed with me and I didn’t even need the Amortentia Potion to do it.” 

His hand cups my chin and forces me to look up at him. The other hand, going through my hair. “You have no idea (y/n), you have no idea what you do to me.” He leans in to kiss me when we hear a knock at the door. 

“Mr.Malfoy, Ms.Potter, are you two all alright in there? Everything cleaned up now?” Professor Slughorn says. 

I quickly button up my robe and fix my tie and hop off the table. Draco’s hand steadying me. We walk to the door and I open it up. Clearing my throat I say, “Yes sir, everything is clean now.” He nods, “Very well then, you are both dismissed.”

I nod, my face turning red, and walking out. Draco follows behind me. He catches up to me and walks next to my side. “Give me that,” he says, grabbing my bag from my shoulder to put it with his. “What are you doing?” I ask, confused. He grabs my hand and looks up at me. 

“Something I should’ve done a long time ago.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andddd...it happened. Umm...get ready for the roller coaster dip :) cause it's only speeding up from here. 
> 
> Don't forget to Kudos and share your thoughts. 
> 
> Lots of love xxx
> 
> PS. if you didn't know and I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but there is a chrome extension called interactive fics where you can enter your name/any name and it'll change all y/n to that name.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I hope you all liked the first chapter. I've been wanting to write a FF for so long and just decided why not.
> 
> I wanted to let you all know that I will try to update as much as possible with university and all that. This book is going to be based more on the movies than the books so some scenes might seem familiar because they...are... This book starts with the Order of the Phoenix.
> 
> The only thing that's different is Harry has a twin. From the people I've asked, they wanted this to be a (y/n).
> 
> Also yes, if you find this. I know it disappeared. I deleted it but after recieving some advice, I want to continue.
> 
> Please be patient with me as I will make mistakes that I might overlook, just correct me and I'll be happy to edit.
> 
> Love you all


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